Mellifluous monday

When I saw his very serious portrait-of-the-artist face, my heart burst.  This three year old is so special to me.  The drawings are "Wind".

He and his mom and I went to the bookstore, post office, art store and then lunch.  They are my errand buddies.

This afternoon, I helped the kids put together handwork project baskets.  Sag is going to sew a Creeper plush and Gem is going to loom knit a hat.

I ended up staying up late watching the Oscars last night (it was worth seeing/hearing Meryl get her award), but woke with the sun.  Went right to the kitchen...put some things away and then practiced the Dragon's Way series of Qigong movements.  Toasted some walnuts, drizzled honey on and ate them with some watermelon chunks.  Opted for Raspberry Earl with honey and milk for my morning tea.

I did not take a walk this morning, but got out with Leo and Danielle later on.

I had an interesting time at the art store...(reminded me that for some, maybe many, folks this kind of thing is all unconscious and much simpler)...I was checking out lightboxes after being inspired reading Julie's blog this morning.

My tendencies run toward instant gratification and to buy the best quality thing.  Not great qualities to have when shopping on a tight budget.  This is why I ran into such trouble with credit cards for many years.

Today, I was leaning towards the LED lightboxes, which were much more expensive than their lightbulb in a plastic box counterparts.  But, I surprised myself by deciding not to make a move and letting go of my need for instant gratification.  I think my smoothed out brain chemistry has clearly and significantly tamped down my need for quick sparks of (meaningless yet perceived as meaningful) pleasure.

It probably helped that I wasn't leaving the shop quite empty-handed.  I found a wooden table top easel for $20 and also picked up a piece of foam board which we can use to tape watercolor paper onto for watercolor painting.

It's been a good day.  I give the Qigong almost all the credit.  It was so grounding...and felt so good even as it was made very clear how stagnant my energy is in spots (so tight in my hips!)  I am looking forward to it again tomorrow.

Off to make some dinner.  Peace and love.

Begging pardon

...for my fuss earlier.  I was/am PMSing.

If I've learned one thing over the past few years, it's to just be myself. I've been turning my back on waffling and feelings of guilt quite successfully.  And my old nemesis, self-loathing?  Way, way gone.

As I indicated earlier, this "self" changes all the time in terms of energy...which then dictates mood and capacity, variably.

So, today, I am in my pjs for the second day in a row.  And I am staying that way even as my energy shifts somewhat.  Rather than running my outdoor errands (thanks to Cap for taking those on), I am focusing the energy I've regained towards massive organizing.  Getting all the bits of mental confetti sorted and down on paper.

Oh, yes.  Today has been about making list after list.

Dinners are planned through next weekend and Cap is out now doing the food shopping.

Calendars have been synched.  We usually do three months in advance, once a month.  March birthdays have been noted.  Appointment phone calls have been made.

March/Spring brings a definite renewal type of energy to my homeschooling.  On the agenda, new, for the next couple of months: music, art, science, handwork, writing mechanics, writing, and housework.  It's going to be a squeeze on top of the usual Qigong, math, Spanish, read aloud and reading.

Cap will continue doing his thing with the kids two mornings a week, plus the daily homework he gives them.

Bonus: I am so stoked.  Cap's agreed to get the kids up and fed breakfast by 8:30 every morning.  This means I can delve into my new morning routine tomorrow!  Wake at 7 and have an hour and a half essentially to myself.

I'm going to load my Qigong music (with Master Lu naming and counting off the movements) onto my iPod so I can practice in the kitchen away from the laptop.  This will help me break my habit of going online first thing every morning.  I can unload the dishwasher, practice Qigong, eat a simple breakfast and then get dressed and go out for a walk.

My brain is doing a happy dance.  It's probably going to take a few days, or even longer, for my body to catch up.  But, it will be good.  Very good.

Mood

I am, as they say, in a mood.

Tired of Gem cycling in and out of being sick.  (He's got a high-ish fever for two days in a row now and, not surprisingly, looks run down.  Bright side is he's not in acute pain/throwing up/having diarrhea.)

Pissed that Gem woke me up twice this morning.  Once to tell me he was getting out of bed, the other to ask if he could blog about the exciting Pokemon news.  (He will learn not to wake me up, he will learn not to wake me up, he will...)

Annoyed by something that keeps coming up for us around common meal.

Frustrated that I am not myself.  Except I am.  Because we are always our selves, no matter what.  Everything is ever changing,  But...you know what I mean.  Don't you?  The past few mornings I have woken up achey and exhausted.

Moving on and looking up:

• tonight I start my new bedtime routine.  screens off by 9:30, in bedroom by 10:30, stand like a dragon between heaven and earth before getting into bed.

• tomorrow I start my new morning routine.  wake at 7.  practice Qigong.  simple breakfast.  take a walk.

• discovered that Subaru does make a wagon, an Impreza wagon.  this will be the first car we test drive.

• it is so much lighter!  at both ends of the day I am feeling it more and more.  of course this coincided with a cold snap and incredibly strong winds this weekend.  confusion has ensued.

• found some Mac-friendly typing programs.

• creating organizational structure to rely on this week and into March: meal planning, homeschooling, housework, accounting.

Time

Yesterday, we spent a lot of time with Cap.  Unusual for a "regular" day.  ("Regular" meaning not a planned day of outing/doing something very specific together...like visiting with family or hosting family.)

He came with us to the Apple store (Lula was absolutely fine up there on the Genius Bar.  She acted as if she had been fine the whole time.  Pierre was very gracious about it.  I am relieved because she continued to behave once we were home.  I think my charger wigged out and reset when I tried it on Cap's laptop right before we left for the Genius appointment.  The battery appears fine, despite the super drain of power it experienced earlier this week.)

It's always nice to have another pair of eyes when one is out of the house, and in a crowded store, with the kids.  But, it was the moral support I'd wanted in place.  In case I had to deal with someone nowhere near as pleasant as Pierre was.

I was pleasantly surprised when Cap agreed to come with Gem and me to drop Sag off at Robotics and then on to Terra for a cuppa and the library for browsing.  This kind of "non-work" ("work" here meaning the work of the home) spontaneous time together is very rare.

Our time at Terra was distracted by fuss behind the counter related to some mechanical diagnostic going on.  But, my Irish Breakfast tea was soothing.  Gem ordering a smoothie was exciting but not to be repeated (he didn't care for it.  He did enjoy the sour gummy worms.)  Cap enjoyed a mug of hot cider and a serviceable GF biscotti.

The library was particularly fruitful.  Warriors manga, a Big Nate book, a selection of Diana Wynne Jones books (a new favored fantasy author Sag is delving into), some kid classics in Spanish (I was right: Sag was tickled)...a knitting book for me and Season 2 of Meerkat Manor for Gem and me.

After we picked up Sag, we swung around to the supermarket.  Cap was tired and decided to nap rather than make dinner.  Sag and I wandered the aisles.  He chose a croissant from the nearly empty display case while I waited for Gem's sushi to be rolled.  Sag decided to try a GF frozen pizza we hadn't tried before (Glutino Duo Cheese...'twas good, but tiny...shot them an e-mail expressing my disappointment that the pizza turned out to be smaller than the lifelike photo on the box.)

As I walked through the night rain from the car to the front door, I felt alive and happy.  A wave of nostalgia buffeted me.  Not of a specific event/experience of Cap and me walking together in the damp gloaming...but of time before, time spent together, just being and doing.

It's going to be a quiet day here.  Gem was not feeling well again last night, but seems better this morning.  I'm off to the farmer's market as soon as I get off Lula.  We were going to see about test driving some cars while Sag is at a friend's this morning, but that will wait...unless Gem is game.

I am hoping to get to some homeschooling planning/thinking, to flip through the knitting book, to catch up with The Whiskers, to roast some broccoli with bacon, and to pick my next book to read.

Peace and love y'all.

Parody

Sag just mentioned this book again.  (The kids coveted it during the holidays.)  Thanks, YouTube!

 

Buzz

Lula has a Genius appointment this afternoon (thanks for your wise words, Kelly).

Earlier this week, I read about why it is good to eat dark chocolate, even if it has a bit of sugar in it, so I had some last night.  And it felt like medicine.  Truly.  So good.  Check out Mark's fave five bars.  I had the Green & Black's.

The kids are both feeling better this morning which is a relief.  (We were exposed to strep on Wed on top of the GI stuff prior to Wed.)

I had a tendency to be thrown off by vacation weeks when I was working in schools...and this is an aspect of schooling which trips us up at home, still.  Having our schooling friends available for during-the-day play is impossible to turn down.

Between time with friends and being sick and recovering from being sick and immune systems dip fending off new germs, it is Friday already.

I cannot believe February is over next week.  For reals.  I am looking forward to getting back into a routine and then nailing some shit down.  Like multiplication tables.  And keyboarding and/or cursive.  And the declutter of another room.  (The front room is maintaining nicely though it took the better part of two days to clean it last weekend because I/we are not on top of that yet.)

The car needs to be dealt with, I'd like to figure out when we might go to Lima, and we have some March birthdays coming up.

Making inroads in the sleep and Qigong departments, cleaning up my eating, getting the kids and myself out more into fresh air...and continuing with reading and knitting.

It's been such a mild Winter.  Spring energy... cleansing, growing and otherwise, it's in the air!

Peace and love.

Didion

I am reading Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking.

I am in day 2 post-gluten gluttony.  Staying still, wondering when I will learn.

I am in a Lula bind.  Her charger has abruptly stopped working.  Cap is too preoccupied with massive grading to shoot me her registration number via e-mail.  (This I understand and there is no resentment.) She also seems to be losing her charge too quickly.  This is all to say that she has been off, mostly, and I don't want to use the desktop, so I am relatively cyber-quiet at the moment.  (I've been using Cap's charger, when I can, to keep her juice up.)

Anyway, back to Didion.

Page 77:

"I had never before had the patience to work crossword puzzles, but now imagined that the practice would encourage a return to constructive cognitive engagement."  (Emphasis mine.)

Constructive cognitive engagement.  That's what I'm thinking about.

This is an interesting book.  The subject matter is tough.  But her voice is clear and her art is beautiful.

A quickie

A quick muse.

I want to stretch my brain more.  Mental exercise.  Wondering in which direction to proceed.

Read this and appreciated it.  Connected to my new urge.

Peace and love.

Chaotic kick

I have been shaking things up a bit...living the chaos before a cleanse.  Today I (finally) had a macaron from the French bakery that opened up in town over the Summer.  They are gluten-free, but do contain sugar.  I've given them as gifts twice, but have abstained myself.

I went with pistachio.  It was interesting and very, very tasty.

I want to kick nudge myself off this plateau.  There is some energy here.  Feels a bit chaotic.

Our time with Anna and the kids was fun, loving, warming and wonderful.  Today I got to buy Elsa (our goddaughter) yarn and knitting needles!  Be still my heart.  I am full up with gratitude.

Old friends

We spent the day with before-the-womb friends.  Anna and Cara (friends of ours since freshman year of college) came over with their broods.  The six kids have known each other since they were babies...and now the oldest is nearly 14 and the youngest is 10.

Here are some shots from our trip to the bookshop.  It has been a lovely day.

Pencil bouquet

The cleaning continues.  The kids are working on their catch all dresser top, I am working on the desk/computer table.  Cap's working hard for our money.

Our artists use their pencils down to the nubs.  Once or twice a year I clean out the pencil and pen drawer tossing the ones that are no longer usable.  My brain actually likes this kind of work.  It's a nice respite from the type of cleaning I don't like.  (ie. figuring out places for the things that don't have one and have cluttered whatever space they are occupying.)

I am trying to peacefully let go of the pangs of guilt I have tossing these pencil nubs.  If I were some crafty maven I bet I'd find some use for them.  Back in the day I used to keep junk like this, bagging it and stuffing into a corner somewhere.  "Some day I will find a use for this," is what I used to say to myself.  A mutation of childhood memories of my mom shunning waste of any sort.  My mom who came of age in post-war Japan.

There is also my attraction (because of this mutated belief system?...maybe, I'd never thought of it that way...) to things/ways of "old".



Back to our quiet cleaning Sunday.

Peace and love.

Cleaning up the nest

Oh boy, this has been a long time coming.

Last week I was so fatigued I couldn't make it to the farmer's market.  Thankfully, the tide has turned and I was there at 9am today.  I bought my meat, cheese and eggs, and Sag's usual, a small cheese pizza.

Once home, I rolled up my sleeves and set to work on the front room.  I detoured into the kids' room for a bit of vacuuming behind the beds, and of course, the kitchen for the day's kitchen work.  Six hours later, I am nearly done with the front room.

For today, I'm done.  I'll fold that pile of laundry and then read my book.  (Not on my 2012 list, a V Day gift from Cap, it is wonderful.)  Knowing I'd be dealing with major cleaning all weekend (we have company coming Monday!), I snagged Cap's dinner services yesterday.  He's cooking for him and the kids tonight and tomorrow night.

I really hate cleaning.  It is so boring.  And I am so slow.  But I do love how it looks and feels when I'm done!

P.S.  Though I tend to be "in charge" of cleaning, I by no means do it all myself.  Cap has certain regular chores and is always game to pitch in with whatever I ask him to do.  We are slowly engaging the kids in cooperating with housework, too.

Sweet bitter love

Truth: I have some mixed feelings about that granny pants shot.

Let me hip block it down with a clip of an incredible rendition of Sweet Bitter Love sung by old school Aretha.

Yesterday was a tough day.  My mood was quite dank and black.  (Today the skies of my mind have cleared.)  Late in the day, I received an iTunes gift.  It was a bunch of Aretha songs.  I never knew you could do that through iTunes!

Thank you, Snapper, for injecting some goodness into a dark day.

Granny pants

 

kickin' it old school.

My granny pants have arrived.  

Growing up with an Asian mom and being a practitioner of TCM, the importance of keeping the belly and lower back warm is engrained in me.  I often wear an undershirt which is firmly tucked into my pants.  I am a layered queen.  Knitting myself hats, scarves, cowls, shawls and wrist/arm warmers: a pleasure.  The head, the back of the neck, the back...all good to keep warm.

When my beloved Maggie's organics underwear started falling apart a couple of months ago, it was time to invest in some new unders.  You may recall my ruminations here.  It's nerve wracking ordering custom made underwear.  Decent Exposures make their undies in a variety of styles, fabrics and colors.  That part was fun.  (Mine are granny "full brief" style, organic cotton, lavender and black.)

What was less fun was wondering about how they were going to fit...for a month.  They provide you with very specific sizing info including the fact that their sizes tend to run big.  Honestly, when I pulled these out of the package, I was a bit horrified.  They looked SO big.

I knew they weren't going to shrink in the dryer because I don't plan on putting them through the dryer.  After their maiden wash through a cold, delicate cycle, I put them on this morning...and they fit like a dream.  They are so freaking comfortable.  The cotton is soft, the little bit of spandex pulls the styling together (no poufiness in these underpants) and the color is pretty in a natural way.  Well done, Decent Exposures, well done.

On this month's playlist

Fallow february

This piece by Ayelet Waldman in the NYT comes at a good time for me.  Or a bad time.  (smile)

Since Saturday I have been very quiet.  I've had virus-y symptoms varied and, for the most part, mild.  (The kids, too.)  We were exposed to a nasty bug last week.

Time will tell as it marches on what this fallow time represents.

It has been on my mind that I am at another plateau. Brain chemistry-wise, the flatness of plateaus do not work for me.  I get bored, I get restless.  This NYT piece recently struck a chord.

I feel deflated in moments.  And it could be any, all or some combination of the below (for bonus points the combinations and durations of combinations could be variable from hour to hour!):

• immune system low

• SAD (seasonal affective disorder)

• hormonal/menstrual/mood cycle disorder

• plateau of sugar- and grain-free process

The thing to do is to keep moving.  The whys are not that important to me.  Articles like Waldman's are good because they serve to open my eyes and mind...and my heart.  I feel less alone because I read her piece.  Less of a freak show and more of the flow.

The bad of reading articles like hers is less bad these days.  For a long time, I had a tendency to glom onto new ideas and make them a part of me, quickly and deeply.  (The novelty thing, see second link.)  This morning, though I could relate to specific experiences she mentioned in her piece, I knew, deep down, that I don't have bipolar.

But, I can easily place myself on the bipolar spectrum.  My genetic family tree lights up with addiction spots not too far removed from where I sit (one of my grandparents was likely an alcoholic).  So it was interesting to read about Bipolar II.  I'd never heard of that before.

The thing about "just keep moving" is that it is hard to do in a month like February.  For all the light I felt during January and this mild Winter, February is finding me, so far, entrenched like so many Februarys past.

I am tired.  I am not sleeping well.  I am not getting outside.  It's like I'm hibernating, but I'm not.  Because it's not that restful...yet it does feel essential.

Peace.

Fun stuff

I am reading Going Bovine.  It started slow, but has really picked up.  It's a ride with plenty of twists and turns...and to the author's credit, I am happily being flung about not wanting it to end.

This passage just made me laugh out loud.  It may be that you have to be here...in which case, perhaps you want to go pick up a copy of the book and read for yourself...

"Later, after we've polished off some deer meat and Rad soda, Balder has a blast letting the scientists test their various lasers and protoplasm pelters and even a potato gun on him.  With each hit, he shouts out, "Who's your Daddy?", in Norse, until, frankly, it gets kind of annoying."

Rosetta stone

I wish I could take a photo to capture something of the magic that is Sag and Rosetta Stone Home School Spanish (Latin America).

Last Fall, when we thought we might be visiting Vanessa in January, I bought the Rosetta Stone (at a little bit of a bulk discount through Homeschool Buyers Co-op).  Both the kids dove right in, enjoying it a lot.

As it turns out, Sag took to learning Spanish like a fish to water.

Maybe it's no coincidence that this kid loves music so much, too.  Listening to him speak Spanish, to the cadence of his thoughts as they trill through figuring out the nuts and bolts...the clear tones of joy merging with growth and now...

His Spanish is the backbeat of my soundtrack these days.  (He asked me to buy Level Two, it arrived the other day.  Chugging along, he is.)

Purple goodness

I do love purple.  My SIL gave me some squishy and sparkly purple yarn for my birthday.

I spent much of the weekend knitting the blanket.  (Not purple.)  And while it was satisfying, this kind of longterm knitting does take on a sloggy feel to it, for me.  You can't quite completely take the ADDish need for instant gratification out of this girl, as it turns out.

So, late last night, I cast on the purple for a scarf.  And this evening, I wove in the ends.  That super bulky yarn will knit up right quick for you, hear?

I love the sparklies.  For real.  But, I don't love the feel of the 51% acrylic.  Especially when it's paired with mohair which I am coming to realize is not a favored fiber of mine.  No worries.  I can easily wear this not directly on my skin.

I am looking to steam block it.  (Kelly, do you have a steam iron I can borrow?)  Blocking, like swatching, is an aspect of knitting I have yet to embrace very fully. But, these leaves curl slightly and blocking would likely help flatten them, making them more visually prominent.  If the yarn was wool, it'd be a no brainer to block.  But, word is that acrylic is blockable if done carefully (ie. don't stick the iron on those plastic filaments!)

Purple goodness.  Love it.

About gloves

Where we live, we need gloves in wintertime.  Two kinds.  One for serious snowy fun (waterproof and warm).  One for cozy comfort (lighter weight and possibly more fashionable).

When the kids were little, I treated gloves as consumables (ie. buy cheap) because they grew so much between seasons.  As they entered boyhood they didn't need them in the Sacramento seasons.  We moved here and suddenly gloves became consumable for a whole other reason: single gloves would inevitably get lost within weeks of purchase...sometimes days.

For these reasons, gloves were never a significant line item in our clothing budget.

I was shocked when the gloves I ordered for the kids from L.L. Bean arrived a few weeks ago and they were too small.  Like no other item of clothing, kids size out of kid size gloves before age 12!  When I exchanged them today (at a store they recently opened locally), I was able to try on the men's gloves to see whether they would fit the kids.  Indeed, the men's small felt between just right and snug on my hands (depending on the style of glove) and my hands are a smidge bigger than the boys' hands.

Even with the "serious" winter ones being on sale, the total for four pairs of gloves for the kids?  $90!  Yikes.

(I have this thing where I will spend more money on what I consider to be quality items...generally for things which are used daily/heavily and/or things which need to be reliable when they are needed.  Hence, this, these and these...all of which have provided me or the kids with comfort and good looking wear for years and years and years.)

It cracks me up that these gloves are as big as my head.  They do not feel it, at all, when you have them on.  Hopefully they will not get lost (they're too big to get lost, right?) and hopefully they will last for more than a season of growth.  In any event, time to adjust.  Again.

Quiet sunday

Listening to Miles, knitting stitch upon stitch of this colorful cotton blanket (wishing it was more wooly, the wintry wind is a-blowin'), one boy Minecrafting happily, one boy iPad-ing in bed quietly (under the weather), one boy working assiduously on an initial report of the state of adult education, for the State.

Killer killers

Many thanks to Cap who had what turned out to be just the right music on in the kitchen this morning. The Killers...the unexpected balm.

Rest in peace whitney

So sad to hear the news of Whitney Houston's passing. She was the only model who I ever felt I could relate to...back when she graced the pages of Seventeen magazine. And her voice...legendary and such a gift. Thank you for the songs, Whitney, hope you have found some peace.

In progress again

A Cavendish blanket in Noro Matsuri yarn.  I picked it up yesterday evening...it has been hibernating for over a year, methinks.  I couldn't believe my eyes because I had screwed it up significantly.  This blanket has a right side and wrong side and the sides had switched awhile back.  So...half of what I had knit had the right side on one side, and the other half of what I had knit had the right side on the other side!

Yikes.

Luckily, I only had to rip back two repeats of the 20 row pattern (146 stitches x 20  x 2 = 5840 stitches!)  I thought I might end up ripping back all the way because I am not very skilled at picking stitches up.

I was a sleep deprived mess last night and my immune system is in fighting mode today.  This means more knitting and reading.  I've got food cued for the kids and Daniel and Cap is home (though he is powering through a buttload of work and we need to leave him be as much as possible.)

I am back to where the blanket had been, but now with the right side/wrong side mess sorted out.  I LOVE the colors of this yarn.  It's an 87% cotton 13% wool blend.  Perfect for those early or late Summer nights when the windows are open and the breezes portend a change of season.

Unlike the cowls and scarves, this project will require time.  My patience...my attention span...these will be tested.

When it rains...

 Delphinium DPC (Dolores Park Cowl)

Misti Alpaca Chunky

for Lana

 Cuttin' It Close Cowl

Debbie Bliss Cashmerino

one for Mom and one for Donna

 Kogarashi DPC

Noro Kogarashi

for moi

 Alpaca Ariosa Cowl

Elsebeth Lavold Chunky AL

for Vanessa

Garter Stitch Scarf

Debbie Bliss Casmerino and Noro New Ruby

for Ellie

Nothing fancy, all pretty straightforward...but that was a fast six FOs!

Kogarashi DPC

I was going to regale you with images of sleep deprivation/insomnia and dry cracking skin.  How fun would that have been?  Suffering these longer terms symptoms of imbalance (around sugar and gluten/grain in particular)...sucks.  Whether I go to bed at 10:30 or 1:00, I cannot escape, for now, lying awake for over two hours.  My hair has started falling out again and my skin, especially on my hands and lower legs are scaly, cracking and/or itchy.

But.

So far, we're not succumbing to the GI bug we were exposed to.  I was going to take the kids out to see a movie today, but then decided to watch one at home.  No need to push the immune system farther.  Tin Tin will wait.

And.

Going Bovine started slow for me.  Yesterday afternoon I picked it up again and was rewarded.  The book has started to pick up significant steam and I can't wait to read more of it today.

Also.

I wound Kogarashi last night between reading a chapter of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator to the kids and giggling to 30 Rock.  This yarn is so luxe and fab.  I decided to keep it simple, which I highly recommend when you have a yarn that is going to do all the work for you.  I also went with a cowl so I'd be able to feel the cozy right up against my skin when all was said and done.

My Kogarashi DPC (Dolores Park Cowl w/ some mods) knit up like a dream.

This morning, as I staggered out of bed dizzy(that hasn't happened in awhile) and sleep deprived, I was bummed.  But when I pulled the cowl over my head, a snuggly transformation did occur.  Enveloped in warm and happy there was nothing to do but capture some love and light and smile instead.

Peace and love and how'd it get to be happy Friday.  (Have you noticed how time is flying?)

Pause

Oh my goodness.  YES.  Words to live by.

A test

This tests my ability to not turn bright green with envy like nothing else has in a long while.

Happy hump day

Once I discovered how scrumptious the incredibly intense truffles Cap made me for my birthday were combined with a spoonful of honey...I kind of went nuts with them.  I brought some over to Kate's the other day and some other sugar-free folk were very happy with them, too.

I have a small supply left in the freezer...they are a perfect late afternoon treat set out to defrost in the morning.  Can't eat these at night...with my sleep issues of late my system has been sensitive to caffeine again.

Met up with my mom, sister and sister-in-law Saturday night for a lovely dinner out.  My sister's birthday is in February (the 29th!) so it was a joint celebration with the grown up girls in the family.  We went to Family Recipe, the restaurant of a friend of a friend of Sandy's.  The food was delicious, I wandered off the sugar-free, grain-free reservation for the night and we had a really good time.  (The many highlights included the miso-tahini-shrimp sauce that accompanied the beef short ribs...a true revelation, the Brussels sprouts, the kale salad, the rock shrimp kimchee okonomiyaki, the housemade Berkshire pork sausage, the black sesame ice cream and the coconut rice pudding brûlée...)

Mom treated us to dinner, Sandy knit and felted Lula a Noro sleeve, and Lisa gave me some very purple, very fun skeins.  It was a sweet ending to this year's festivities.

The kids and I are chillaxing today.  We are cruising through Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator (truly a fun book), they are singing and storyboarding as I type, they've played some Math games and practiced their Qigong...  Soon, they will be downloading Skyblock, a map and new item supplier for Minecraft which opens up new worlds and challenges to the game.

This afternoon we will head outside for bar hanging/stretching, Vinny and book shopping for cousin Celeste.

In between, I nourish them and myself with food.  (Loving up the common meal leftovers.)

Gem had meatballs and cake for breakfast :-)  Sag has had a bowl of veggie chili with Jack cheese melted on top.  He ran out of room for cake and is looking forward to some later.

I had a Brussels sprouts pastured egg scramble for brekkie.  With melted jack cheese :-)  I've roasted some broccoli with bacon and garlic for later.

I also put together a dip.  

I had a Neufchatêl cream cheese in the fridge because last week I thought I might make some artichoke dip for Super Bowl Sunday.  (I didn't.)  I've had two cans of artichoke hearts in the pantry from the night we went to Melody's to say good-bye and came home with nearly a dozen shopping bags full of stuff they were giving away/leaving behind.

Monday at Kate's house, I had a few yummy bites of a dip in her spread of party food.  It was profoundly simple and good: cream cheese blended with fresh garlic and a bit of milk.  I loved hearing the story of how the dip has been tweaked by various family members based on their fond memories of Mom's dip, originally made with garlic powder.

My dip: 2/3 of a package of cream cheese, fresh garlic to taste (4 giant cloves today), 2/3 can of artichoke hearts in water (left pretty wet so the liquid would thin the cream cheese a bit), and 3-4 sun-dried tomatoes.  Blitzed it all in my mini-food processor.

Sun-dried tomatoes are my latest fave ingredient.  I bought some for the frittata I made the other day and I've been enjoying them here and there with other dishes.  I thought they'd add nice color to the dip, as well as, some interest in texture and saltiness.

I'm looking forward to having the dip as a side with my pulled pork for lunch.

Peace and love and happy hump day.

End o'day

Again a post at the end of the day.  Not so much inspired as archival.

One family came over for common meal.  The others were scared off by our exposure to a GI bug yesterday (which we found out this morning.)  It was a lovely quiet dinner: fava-pinto bean bake, rice, turkey meatballs, Brussels sprouts and cake.  (I fried two eggs and ate the Brussels sprouts.)

Dishes are washed, the living room (where we eat with a crowd) vacuumed...the kids are quieting.  I could read Going Bovine, but I am tuckered out and feel the pull of last night's House instead.

Peace and love.

Monday musing

What a day.

It was a late morning.  I slept badly again.  Small doses of gluten and sugar (I have a feeling rice is not so much an issue for me) last Sunday and this past Saturday (both nice dinners out) have messed with my sleeping.  There has been a jump from non-existant to persistent perseveration on useless thoughts as I lie in bed combined with insomnia...a tight little corkscrew of "which came first".

(Some digestive symptoms, headache and body ache have occurred as well, but nothing too significant.)

The kids accompanied me on errands this morning (Sag before he ate breakfast).  I needed onions for the slow cooker pork and we needed a birthday gift for Lucy.  It was all quick.  My resolve not to buy anything for the kids (I boosted their allowance instead) lasted a whole month.  Bought the latest 39 Clues book for Gem and Jesus and Shiva magnetic finger puppets for Sag.  (He's been eyeing these for awhile and entertained us with a "Battle of the Religions" puppet show as soon as we got home.)

I surprised myself by not buying a book for myself.

Much of my time last night and this morning was spent composing e-mails to various persons-of-concern about a class Sag has been taking which has not worked out.  Pain.  In.  My.  Ass.  It took up too much of my time and energy...but I can't undo my manatee ways.  I take my time.  (Good news is that it is all over now and resolved well.)

This afternoon we walked over to Kate's.  They moved around the corner from us and we finally made it over there for a big ol' Fiber Artsy birthday gathering for Lucy.  It was eye popping at times seeing how much all the kids have grown.  It was ear popping as it tends to be with this crew.  Sag and Gem were right in the fray, though.  It was heart warming.  Spending time, weaving together some renewed strands.

When we left, walking down their long sloping driveway, the full moon greeted us, brightly, in the wintry dusky sky.  Beautiful.

I gobbled down some pulled pork with mashed guac.  The kids inhaled their rice with meat sauce.  We did some evening puttering and I am about to tuck them in.

After that, Downton Abbey for me.

Peace and love.  And catch a glimpse of the moon if you can.

Kaffeeklatsch

image pulled from web.

Home from nearly three hours of sitting with friends talking and laughing (some of the Fiber Arts crew).  I started with a latte and eventually moved on to a grilled portobello mushroom salad.  Came close to an Irish Breakfast tea some of my klatsch mates were enjoying muchly.

Time with friends, time talking and listening and laughing.  Sharing freely, fearing nothing.  Meandering or zipping from one topic to another.

Time like this feeds my soul and helps me learn and grow.  Time like this fills me with happiness and gratitude.

The time continuum itself doesn't make much sense to me when I think of my friendships (though the growing babes have a way of anchoring us to it).  My affection for/connection to friends scattered around the world remains quite intact.

Any and every moment spent with friends...a good way to live and grow old.

Nine simple patterns

Wow.  An amazing collection of stories.  The details the author brings to life with beauty and painful precision...resonated with power and familiarity.  Words fail me.  Go read it.

Kogarashi

This skein is distracting me with its good looks.  Is it love or lust?  Only time will tell...

Lying in

One of the things that I think about sometimes is:

what would I/my body have done to heal had I not embarked on a life at home ten years ago?


But, there's no easy answer.  And not much sense in pondering for too long.  I am grateful that when I decided to do something about improving my well-being, I was able to.  I am grateful that I felt the need in the first place.  I am grateful to be distinctly healthier and happier now at 46 than when I nudged awake to the outer territories of my potential at 40.

Today is a lying in day.  I have my period and am wiped from the heaviest part of the exit flow.  I don't remember needing/having lying in days when I was in my 20s and 30s.  Was it because I had more energy?  Did I have such "sick days" but was unaware of why/when they were occurring?  Was I simply soldiering on (was I less sensitive?) and having subsequent problems/issues as a result?

I have never been as naturally regular in my cycles as I am now.  I've become the 28 day girl I'd long heard about but never recognized.

I embrace these days of lying in.

I used to feel guilty about them when I realized I needed them, a few years ago.  I felt outside the norm and compared myself negatively.  Not only was I not the Superwoman who raised a family while working outside of the home, I was stay-at-home and tired when I got my period...who the heck did I think I was being so needy?!

No more.  I have learned not to plan out-of-the-house activity for the time around my period.  I allow for rest and quiet during menses.  Like our ancestors did and some native peoples still do.  I believe it benefits my overall health, as well as the health of our family.  It certainly feels ever so right.

What we've been doing today...

Sunrise

It has been so long since I woke early enough to see the sunrise hitting Winter branches.  My breath caught in my throat.

Fleeting tumble of mixed emotions: the inevitable waking with wonder about seepage when the blood loss is at its heaviest, feeling rested despite the rude awakening, the satisfaction that comes with a hoped for shift (family-bedding with the kids for the whole night+decreasing tv time for myself+going to bed earlier=better sleep), noticing how early the sky began lightening through the slats of the blinds, staring at the child asleep next to me, murmuring him back to sleep when his eyes fluttered open to ask me a question, calculating just how early in the morning it was when I left the house to go to school when I started Hunter at age 12, relaxing in the warm comfort of the bed to see if I might fall back asleep, stealthily getting out of bed pulling on fleece socks and vest, entering the quiet of the front room feeling I have a happily long whole day ahead of me, glancing up from Lula momentarily stunned by the gorgeous light hitting the barren beauty of the branches.

Peace.  And love.

Highlights

Cap received copies of his new book, hot of the press!  You can pre-order it at Barnes and Noble, or better yet, through your local indie bookstore.  We are, as ever, so proud of him.  A book!  So cool!

The kids are both in the midst of measuring units in Math.  For Sag, the investigating veered into Science as he played around with displacement.

I am pleased.  Ends have been woven in and a padded envelope secured and addressed.  The cowl will be on its way to Lana tomorrow.  She lives in SF and needs something cozy to keep her warm in her apartment.  If you've ever lived in the Bay Area, you know what I mean.  (That's Gem in the background.)

Had a touch of insomnia the past two nights.  Return of another pre-sugar- and grain-free symptom.  I think the lamb dish at the Turkish place Sunday night definitely had gluten in it.

Anyhoo, I had a lovely hour this morning running errands with the car and without the kids.  Picked up Man On Wire at the library (and did not pick up a latte to go for $4).  My friend, Bridget, is starting up a Documentary Club.  Perfect for me since I'm hoping to watch a documentary a month this year.

Picked up Going Bovine at the bookshop.  I had a pang of regret at the library the other day when I saw a copy in the YA room I was perusing for the first time looking for books for the kids.  (They grow so fast, sniff sniff, blah, blah, blah.)  But once I held the book in my hands while paying for it?  No regrets.  It was gift money well spent.  The kids were both intrigued and tickled by the cover when I got home, too.

I had some "doh!" moments this morning...continued ADDishness.  But, I had the luxury of my own time so I just kept going.  Back towards the library to stop into the yarn store.  I needed needles for a new project.

Then strolled to the truly indie toy shop (the other two toyshops in town are indie, too, but are franchises) for a gift card for a friend celebrating a birthday today.  (Original plan was to get him one to the bookshop.)

On my way back to the car, I passed the other yarn shop in this part of town.  I peeked in and found some Noro I had never heard of before!  Kogarashi.  Very yummy.

All this is to say that it's been a much more energizing day than I anticipated.  The second day of my period is usually a brutally exhausting affair.  I've had my moments, but overall, it has been quite a productive and clear-minded day.

I've called the Museum and spoken to the program director about our concerns with the class Sag is taking, I picked up a hard copy of my lab results from the doctor's office, I cashed a birthday check and ordered another of my 2012 books (kiitos Mummu!)  I made some lamb burgers.  Delish.  (I always forget to include the vinegar and always sub some kind of herb for the parsley I never seem to have on hand.)

Peace and love...off to commune some more with the kids, fold laundry, fix dinner, knit some and read some.

An alex chee essay

I just love how his writing.  You can read Annie Dillard and The Writing Life here.

Good morning!

Numbers addendum

Popped over to the Mayo Clinic website and was encouraged by what I read.

My triglycerides drop moved me into the "optimal" (and best) category according to the American Heart Association.

My "good" cholesterol rise pushed me from the "better" category into the "best".  My number is good enough to lower my risk of heart disease.

My "bad" cholesterol rise was not significant enough to move me into a worse category.  So I remain, as I was in 2007, at "borderline high".

Off to e-mail my doctor to see what she thinks.

Stretching

A couple of months ago, Vinny made some therapeutic recommendations for the kids.

Both kids are generally healthy...but.  They both have trouble settling down for bed/night time.  Fears rear up.  "Bad thoughts" invade.  Stomachs start to ache.

Our household is generally healthy...but.  Dustiness and clutter persist.  Time together, as a family, is very limited.  Tension happens.

On top of that, we have one boy who entered double digits recently and one who is firmly now a tween.  They are experiencing changes, daily, that are at times exciting and at times discomfiting.

So, these days of quiet rest-of-Winter beckon to me as an opportunity.  We have a chance now to slow down.  To pay attention.  To nest and nurture.  To play, to learn, to move...to rest, rest, rest.

The kids have been practicing their form of Qigong since the new year.  Today, I brought them outside to incorporate a new exercise: hanging from a bar.

I tried it, too.  I am not very strong.  The brief stretch, however, was potent.  I am convinced that is what finally got my stagnated period to flow.

Peace.

A funny thing happened

While I was frying up a package of bacon for the 12 egg frittata I was making, our family doctor's office called to tell me my cholesterol was high.  I had to laugh.  (I only used 1/3 of the bacon for the frittata, the kids ate the rest for lunch.)

Isn't it pretty?  You can find the recipe here.  I wasn't hungry so I haven't tucked into it yet.

So, the numbers.  I don't really understand them.  I know there's a standard way of reading the numbers, I know that there are ways of reading between the lines...other ways of understanding the numbers.

I'm going to discuss with our family doc, discuss with Vinny, maybe do some research.  I am at a definite plateau in terms of weight loss and energy gaining.  So I have been pondering change anyway.  Whether this will include a change in food, I do not know.

For now, I plan on eating this sun dried tomato-bacon-thyme-Parmesan frittata with much joy.

Jan. 2012:

(total cholesterol: 247.  "bad" cholesterol: 153.  "good" cholesterol: 76.  triglycerides: 88.)

Dec. 2007: 

(total cholesterol: 216.  LDL: 137.  HDL: 52.  VLDL: 27.  triglycerides: 134.)

I did not ask for the specific numbers for blood sugar and iron levels.  I was told both those were good and improved from 2007.