End o'day

Again a post at the end of the day.  Not so much inspired as archival.

One family came over for common meal.  The others were scared off by our exposure to a GI bug yesterday (which we found out this morning.)  It was a lovely quiet dinner: fava-pinto bean bake, rice, turkey meatballs, Brussels sprouts and cake.  (I fried two eggs and ate the Brussels sprouts.)

Dishes are washed, the living room (where we eat with a crowd) vacuumed...the kids are quieting.  I could read Going Bovine, but I am tuckered out and feel the pull of last night's House instead.

Peace and love.

Taking it down a notch

Sag has been in that shadow place: sick and sleepy yet not asleep.  Gem got up to eat again and fixed himself a piece of toast with melted Daiya and a glass of rice milk.  Cap arrived home a little bummed (whiny student), but cheered up showing Gem this seasonal clip from way back when.

Me, I haven't picked up the book yet (you can see it there on the table).  I've been enjoying the Christmas lights, sipping a hot cup of milky tea and nestling into the quiet of the season.  Tapping into my hibernating bear self.  Yes.

Moments

Today flew.  But, there were moments where time slowed down...

• the remarkably courteous Staples cashier with the keenly intelligent eyes (he is destined for better things, I am sure of it).

• offering the harried and impatient woman on line behind me at John's (our CSA farmer) my place in line.  she declined and visibly calmed down...I could see her letting something go.

• Gem digging this song and singing it out loud, a cappella.

• the twinkling smile of the Vacchiano Farm matriarch as she totaled the meat that will nourish me this week...in her head rather than with the adding machine her youngers all use.

• the horrific auto accident that almost happened one car in front of us (I had Gem and Daniel in the car).  *shudder*

• rubbing a mixture of two spice mixes, Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper onto a big ass piece of pork shoulder.  (to be slow cooked tomorrow.)

• sitting with Gem as he cried and whined and got some sticky messy emotion out.

• bite after bite of delectable roasted broccoli (roasted with bacon and garlic and olive oil).

• Applegate Organic Uncured Thick Cut Bacon.  (incredibly tasty.)

• hearing the kids laugh out loud while watching Zookeeper with Owen while I cooked up broccoli and kale for me and meat sauce for them.

• Gem's moans of pleasure as he dug into his meat sauce and rice.

• Sag jamming on his electric guitar.

• Gem's antics in the movie they shot today.

• hearing this song for the first time in sooooo long, thanks to a friend posting it on Facebook:



• creative juices flowing:

Back to the tomorrow-there's-gonna-be-a- gaggle-of-kids-here preparations...love and light to you.

Plateau

I was playing around with Photo Booth and was surprised with this image captured.  The dreamy and wondrous quality is so the opposite of how I was feeling in the moment...and have been feeling.

I am at a plateau.  My weight loss has tapered off, my energy has fallen off, my mood is no longer reliably bright and shiny.

The good thing about this plateau is that there is plenty of room for solid footing.  

We have been having an incredibly humid, wet and low pressure entry into Fall.  I am really sensitive to this kind of weather and that I haven't curled up into a catatonic fetal ball is saying something.

Change-of-season is a chaotic time in TCM.  Been feeling that, too.

September has long been a time of hitting "refresh" for me.  This year, though I have been creating the kids' my and our family schedules with more clarity, there has still been a slew of activity whipped up in a short amount of time.  Managing the assorted calendars has left me kind of breathless.

Tomorrow, the kids start back to swimming.  After lunch, we take off for Plympton to celebrate Theo's fourth birthday.  (Amazing...FOUR.)

We'll be back Monday and then Cap is being a trooper and giving me a week off (two if I need it) from cooking for the kids/family.  I am removing dairy from my diet (on top of grains and sugar) and I cannot do it without his help.  For this manatee, working with veggies requires extra time.  The washing, peeling, chopping, and cooking...  So, for a week or two I will focus on developing new routines and a new repertoire of recipes and meals just for me.

The following week, I start my swimming class!  I am very excited for this.  I enjoy swimming, but haven't really swam for a long time.  A class seemed just the thing to ease me into a new practice of joyful and peaceful exercise.  

I should also be starting a Dragon's Way class with Vinny the same week.

Off to watch Louis CK on Bill Maher...and unload the stress of incessant physical disorder and motes of dust that have been choking me.

Happy Autumn Equinox!

Listening right now:

Not so merrily down the stream

...of consciousness, that is.

I'm suffering from meat/dairy withdrawal (I made the family a roasted chicken for dinner...a glutton for punishment as much as a glutton for foods I love that are "bad" for me...)

I also appear to be experiencing some PMS.

{insert heavily sarcastic and/or expletive-filled commentary here}

Good news: our much postponed trip to Massachusetts is coalescing for the weekend.

Potentially bad news: there's a winter storm possibly brewing off the NJ-MA coast.

Off to bury my head in Sons of Anarchy Season 1 or Parks and Recreation Season 2.  Sons of Anarchy is probably not for everyone quite a bit more than Parks and Recreation.  I'd heard that the second season of Parks and Recreation was funny and have been watching the episodes on "Watch Instantly" via Netflix.  There are moments that rival 30 Rock, for sure.

Food for thought: I am mildly obsessing over Chanel no.19.  I used to wear it a loooong time ago when Marci gave me some in high school.  Next time I'm at a mall I'm going to give it a smell (problem is, I rarely go to malls).

Food for thought: Trying not to be bowled over by the thought of planning and saving for a trip to Peru next January.

Food for thought: How shall I celebrate my birthday?

Bunch of love

anni-tulips.

Any day someone gives me tulips is a good day :-)  These pink beauties from Cap are adorning the bedroom because there are some pretty purple ones already out in the front room courtesy of Donna.  It's been a very long while since I've placed fresh flowers in the bedroom.  I think I'll be doing it more often.  They are so lovely.

I've been dealing with some anxiety this week waiting for packages to arrive and worrying about timing.  Late this afternoon, almost as if to justify the anxiety which I've been deeming "silly" trying to shrug it off, I discovered that three packages, from three different companies, were all "delivered" to my front door by UPS on Tuesday.  I never received them.

Mistakes happen...and so does petty theft (my gut tells me it was a delivery error, but we do live on a wide and somewhat busy street and it's possible someone saw the delivery being made to the edge of the porch, as opposed to right to the door, and could not resist what they saw as an opportunity.) 

As a matter of fact, community indifference happens, too.  In our case, I attribute it to living on a wide street with driveways, lawns and yards bordering and surrounding each house.  It's possible that our being renters on a long block of mostly owners comes into the equation.  It's possible that everyone is simply on the shy side.  I have never felt an open and/or intimate neighborhood vibe here.  So, it's possible that someone nearby received our packages by accident and...decided for whatever reason to not bring them over.

Whatever it was that happened, it was a hassle to get in touch with each company and get the processes of "what next?" going with each of them.  But, very far from being the end of the world.  If you've even made it this far, thanks for reading.  This has been a good reminder to me to "shop local"  :-)

P.S.  None of the packages contained Christmas gifts for the kids.  Phew :-)

The heligoats

Listening to this right now and truly enjoying it.  The kids are Pokemoning behind me as the night settles.  I am keeping my eyes on the prize of a 10pm bedtime.

Things I want to share are gathering in the wings. Perhaps tomorrow.

Peace and love.

Fresh starts

There was a line in Mad Men the other night that went something like this: there is no such thing as a fresh start...life is constantly just going.  It really resonated with me.  It was a perfect line as part of the story (if you haven't seen this drama, I highly recommend it), but it was also one of those lines that reverberates right off the screen into real life.

There is a part of me, real and true, that loves a fresh start.

But, I know that sometimes my desire for a fresh start trips me up.  Ties me up.  Takes me out of the moment.

I can feel that as I look forward to Monday to "start" the rest of my life in terms of Qigong and food, that I am seeking that fresh start.  I am manufacturing it rather than simply being it.

Though I am not going to do the in between week of cutting out meat and dairy before going whole hog onto the DW food that is part of Dragon's Way, I am having a "last supper" tonight and will have poached eggs tomorrow morning.

I feel there may be some curiosity about what I'm eating tonight.  (I love you guys...)

The original plan to get Mexican from our local favorite place was nixed for a variety of reasons.  Sag is being included in this last supper as we are going to resume a no bringing in gluten policy Monday, as well.  He really wanted something with fries.  Cap was not wanting the dairy-full offerings of Habaneros.  I have actually been eating "out" a lot lately, what with Wendy visiting, going upstate last weekend, etc.  So I was feeling quite flexible.

We decided on a local Italian place.  Cap and Sag are having chicken tenders and fries.  I ordered the linguine with meatballs and onion rings.  And our tireless hunter-gatherer has tried in vain to get me some Ben and Jerry's Pistachio ice cream.  I am "settling" for B&J's Fresh Georgia Peach Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler (another Ben and Jerry's flavor).

Enough about me and food.

Gem's been asking to go to Target for a few weeks so I took him this afternoon.  I picked up some supplies for the soldiers a friend from high school is leading in Afghanistan.  It's crazy that they don't have enough soap, toothpaste, razors, etc.

To calm down after that outing (I get really antsy after an hour in buildings/rooms without windows, whether it be Target or a museum) I enjoyed a quick and lovely knit.  I may have a new favorite yarn (Silk Garden Chunky).

Twist and tuck

A headache that won't go away (tightness making a comeback since I've been sans Vin).

A boy blind with night time thoughts holding my heart in a vise.

A day full of raindrops, a night heavy with damp.

Loose ends

Finished Stephen King's On Writing tonight.  Just in time to return it to the library tomorrow.  I enjoyed it a lot, despite having taken a seriously long break in between the first 3/4 and last 1/4 of the book.

I enjoy his writing, have since I was a teenager.

I also just watched the season finale of True Blood.  It ended well.  Many questions (while wrapping up old ones), but nothing too cliff hanger-y intense.

I am worn out emotionally, trying to tend to my body to shore up balance.  Off to make a cup of tea...and likely Mad Men or The Closer...though I should also consider sleep.