Small moments

Taking in the nourishment of small moments:

• the spontaneous and emotional hugs and kisses from my children.

• discovering at check-out that every single item I bought was on sale ($12 and change for three skeins of chunky yarn and a big roll of wrapping paper...holiday shopping that jingles my bells).

• local florists who deliver meadow flowers in Ball mason jars.  (my friend is heading home today *big smile*.)

• cold salami sandwiches with mayo and mustard on Udi's bread.

• Les Revenants/The Returned.

• realizing that my immune system is one tough and fiery broad.

• Earl Grey tea with honey and milk.

• munchkins and moon rocks (with my little man, Leo).

• the joy of The Killers and a great cover.

Peace and love.

Doing the math

I read this short piece on The Necessary Art of Subtraction recently.  The wisdom/strategy is obvious and simple, yet easy to miss.

My tendency is to add...and see how the chips fall in terms of what gets subtracted.  I find it difficult to actively subtract.

Here is what I have added and subtracted in these days after Thanksgiving and before Winter Solstice:

+

• dosage of magnesium supplement (really helps my sleep)

• meditation (doing the 10-day free trial)

• Qigong

• setting an alarm to wake up

-

• cane sugar

• grains

• dairy

Decluttering, keeping up with household cleaning, and tightening up the household budget continue to be glaring areas of need.  What must I subtract in order to bring these aspects of responsibility into the fold of my present intention/attention?

(post-sauna selfie in Plympton.)

Peace and love.

Grasshopper

Will this grasshopper ever learn? Last night I was starting to feel distinctly better virus-wise. But I felt heavy, bloated, and inflamed.

Over the weekend I'd had bouts of chemically-fueled anxiety...for want of a better way to put it. I'd be sitting there (usually quite literally, in my red chair) and, as if a switch was turned on, a circus would start to rehearse in the cavity of my chest. The swoops and somersaults of trapeze artists, the vibratory thumps and trumpets of elephants, the buzz and din of an excited throng...

I paused and experienced and it would inevitably pass in a few minutes.

I yelled at one of the kids over the weekend and generally had way less patience with them.

My decade-old eczema patch on my scalp flared up big time and was itchy, red and tender-to-the-touch...this weekend.

Yesterday, despite a lovely visit from an old friend of ours the day before which precipitated the putting on of clothes and  socializing and realizing that, indeed, the virus was on its way out, all I wanted to do (and did) was stay in my pajamas and curl into being as alone as I could.

Oh, and last night I had trouble falling asleep for the first time in weeks.

So, in retrospect, there would seem to have been some sort of significance to this weekend.

Last night the old voice(s) came out of the woodwork. Happily, I do not react and struggle anywhere near the levels I used to. But, the message inevitably gets transmitted: this is your fault, do something about it.

This is when I go into "shut it down" mode and begin to concoct "the plan". About going to the gym, about drasticating my diet, about practicing Qigong, etc.  About becoming blameless. About being the paragon I believe I never am.

There is nothing wrong with the impulse to want to transform, to improve self-care...but for me, there is something intrinsically Sisyphusian about having the impulse rear up during a moment of needing a "fix".  (Those pesky backslides.)

I interface better and more productively with ideas of self-care when I am not in the throes of what feels like a crisis in my heart, my brain, my central nervous system.

When I can get to the root of the old emotional stuff that comes up, oh, ONCE A MONTH (perimenopause is fickle and I am suddenly regular again), when I can feel out the edges and sharpen my tool, I can, and will, excise it and let it dissolve into the ether...or primordial ooze.

The old voices are important to recognize so they can be put in their place, at least, until they are dismissed forever.

PMS, get thee back into your corner.

Ad infinitum. I wonder if this process will continue up to the day I die. Or if some day I will achieve the next level of grasshopperdom and step off this particular hamster wheel (to mix my critter metaphors).

I made something yummy yesterday. Baked oatmeal, for the first time. My crazy brain was telling me late last night, as it was keeping me from sleep, that I should not eat this today because of inflammation and going Paleo in between all the celebrations coming up and the weight I'm gaining with all the hibernation eating I've been doing...

Well, I got my period this morning and I am feeling so much better, inside and out. The show's over, there's nothing left to see. 

(Except a shot of yummy.)

Peace.

Catching up

What I am now thinking of as a virus lingers. Hopefully it will move on in a few days. I surrender.

I have been reading a lot: Life As We Knew It, Calling Dr. Laura and The Fault In Our Stars. (All very good and recommended.)

Cap and I watched an incredible documentary called A Band Called Death. Highly recommended.

I am sleeping...dreaming intensely and waking early (ready to go to bed by 9-10pm but that is difficult because I'm sleeping in the kids' room and they are still awake).

I am craving and eating lots of starchy carbs and eggs.

Having a bordering-on-bossy mug of Earl Grey to ease me into the day. Off to pull on some clothes and visit the farmer's market. (Yay for my market companion, Kelly, providing door-to-door service!)

Peace and love.

P.S.  Big news: Peru is a GO!!!

A few things

I am riding out a viral/hormonal/seasonal thing.  Shifts in and out of various states of being, on a daily basis, keeping me on my proverbial toes (actually I am spending much time in pajamas, stuck in the apartment).

I am nourishing myself with sleep, food, Qigong, books, movies and knitting.  I am finding that waking earlier is helpful to "productivity" because I am perkiest in the morning, and my system likes the tone that is set by waking early.  The flow gets going in earnest, uninterrupted, in the quiet.

Wake, practice Qigong, putter in the kitchen (put away items from day before + mentally or physically prepare + plan food stuff for the day), make a cup of tea...  This takes a good 60-90 minutes, I find.

I am noticing that I feel "better" (hard to quantify) if I stay off the laptop/cell phone till afternoon (which, frankly, leaves less time/attention for my internets activity, which have its uses and benefits...so it's not all good.)

Cabbage steam-sautéed in duck fat with an onion, seasoned with salt.  I think my Dad would love this.  It's yummy, but my digestive system has some reservations.

Celery root, or celeriac, is something I likely would never have tried if I weren't in a CSA.  I think they're beautiful.  And, surprisingly, I think they are delicious.  (Celery, along with carrots, were my absolute hated veg growing up.)

This breakfast made me happy: sunny side up eggs, sweet potato and celery root hash, and daikon kimchi.

I am totally surprised to have knitting suddenly come back into my life.  I had an idea for a project, found a pattern to my liking via Ravelry, bought the yarn last weekend when Cap and I went out for lunch, and my needles have been clicking away.  I'll post more when I can (the project involves a bit of secrecy, for now).

This book was amazing.  Very creative and clever.  So many of its subjects and themes resonated with me...it was uncanny.  I can't say enough about it.  I tried, over at Goodreads, and though my review was heartfelt, it was kind of clumsy.

I enjoyed this graphic novel very much.  I loved her illustrations, her stories, her recipes...I was tickled to have my food mind expanded by such an unassuming, yet engaging, young writer.

This movie blew my mind, ripped my heart out, and yet, made me glad to be alive.  Stunning, gorgeous, heartbreaking...so complex.  The direction was unbelievable, such a tour-de-force.  The ensemble was incredible, each performance utterly mesmerizing (the actors played multiple characters).  Tom Hanks has never done anything for me...but, wow.  He was really good in this.

Peace and love.

Paring down to simple

I was pleased that we made it through the week without dipping into our savings account.  Yesterday, mostly because we had barely anything typically breakfast-y left in the fridge and pantry and partly because "daddy got paid", the kids and I went out for breakfast.  (Cap opted to catch a few more winks.)  I had some coffee with cream and a quintessential Garden State breakfast sammie: Taylor ham, scrambled egg, jack cheese on a buttermilk biscuit.  'Twas yummy.

The kids and I chewed on thoughts and ideas, as well as, food.  Sag shared some memories of preschool.  Gem recounted something he read recently about how children have friends of both genders till about age 3 and how after that, we humans tend to make friends of the same gender.  I did a mini-lesson on economics, comparing different activities/things we buy/do that cost the equivalent of what our breakfast tab was.

The depressive state of earlier in the week has given way to something hard to describe...I'll call it muddle-brained...with emotional spikes.  All chemical, all the current soup of perimenopause + the season.  All ephemeral...if not in the actual how it feels, certainly in its inevitable passing on.  I saw Vinny (after a brief break during which he traveled to the Grand Canyon for the first time) and that always helps.  He gave me some new herbs to hone in a tiny cough that has developed inside me.  I also picked up some vitamin D + fish oil and evening primrose + flaxseed oil.  Vitamin D and evening primrose are mood supporters.

It's hard not to think about the level of dismantling I am doing to my days as a devolution.  As regressive, as backwards.  The reality is that reality is very much shaped by perception.  Think about this linearly and I get one thing, think about it non-linearly and I get another.  Honestly, I am not thinking about it that much, at all.  (Which I actually think is a positive.)

I have noticed I am happier out of the apartment, possibly because the apartment is physically harder to be in than usual (the dust factor, which is fairly high already has been exponentialized by my system reacting to the seasonal mold outdoors, ironically).

On my mind:

• what will I read next?

• $10 lunch special with my sweetie

• The Oranges (which we watched last night and I have mixed feelings about)

• if you can believe it, knitting

• Qigong, walking, the Y, tap...I am at the nexus of "barely"

• the seeming black hole of budgeting/financial competence

• becoming more one with the Dragon as we head into the final two weeks of class

Peace and love and keeping it real and simple.

Link love

Food

Baked Sriracha Butternut Squash Fries (gluten-free and vegan)

Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese Ganache (gluten-free and vegan)

Thomas Keller's Roast Chicken (Paleo)

Gluten-Free (Pull Apart) Dinner Rolls (gluten-free)

Toasted Coconut Butter Cups (Paleo)

Pumpkin Bread Pudding (Paleo)

I have not tried any of these recipes yet.  Will report back when I do!

Knitting Genius/Hilarity

Swants tutorial

Inspiring

Walking App

Power Drill Tub Scrubber

Ash Beckham

Peace and love.

Craft and bake sale

Incredibly aromatic (soothing and energizing) bath salts.

Incredibly delicious Paleo carrot soup.  I was hesitant because I am not a fan of carrots, but this soup was out-of-this-world good.

Incredibly beautiful paper-crafting artform which dates back to the Renaissance.

Incredibly cool blow torched lemon brûlée cookies.

Incredibly beloved semi-annual event which was born from the mind and heart of a dear friend (performing original songs here) when she was seven.

It was another wonderful day nestled amongst loving old trees, hanging out with friends, connecting with our community.

Peace.

P.S.  The wares featured above were all conceived and executed in large and larger parts by our amazing kids.

Absence results in avalanche

I promised myself to post today to not let it go longer than a week since my last post.  And I do hope it won't be as long till my next one.

I was going to pick one photo to save time (which I only wanted to do in order to facilitate the actual happening of writing a post), but looking at my photo stream made me warm and fuzzy and I could not pick just one.

I am delighted by an unexpected turn of events.  This Fall has been defined by a surge in cooking and baking as I have mused about it here in this space.  The development in the last week or so is that I have made some food which has made me go "hmm".  And I find myself very curious and wanting to learn more about the science behind the alchemy of cooking.

I have requested Ratio and Gluten-Free Girl Every Day from the library.  Both authors are proponents of using ratios to develop recipes and deepen one's understanding of how recipes work.  I cannot imagine I will ever be creating my own recipes...but am kind of thrilled to be exploring cooking and baking in a new way.  Maybe I do like it, after all.

And now, the pics...

local intersection.  I had just stepped out of Anthropologie, a store I go into maybe once a year.  I like it every time, but then forget about it until someone or something reminds me and I go in again.

sweet rice flour!  we've started using it, but I have not batched "my" all-purpose flour mix yet.  (I need a snazzy name for it.)

Chinese lump candy (aka rock candy).  the kids, particularly Gem, have been loving it.  some less processed sweet for the stomach system.

pumpkin chocolate chunk bars.  the first of three items I baked in the last week that came out vastly differently than I thought it would.  it tasted good, but the texture was very wet.  it was like a pumpkin pie without the crust.  the recipe poster's photo shows a much cake-ier looking bar so I was disappointed...and wondered what went awry.

we returned upstate for pumpkins.  the kids enjoyed our trip to Gill's Farm last year so we made a day of it with auntie and uncle.

boys on rock in woods.

beautiful birches.

more often than not, lately, all I want for breakfast is a piece of toast with Kerrygold and a big ass mug of black tea (English or Irish Breakfast) with honey.  must be the bits of stardust in me that hail from the British Isles rallying for some recognition.

pumpkin bacon scallion biscuits.  the greatest of expectations dashed upon a cruel and rocky shore.  these were a shocking bust.  and I am fairly certain it was me...and that I can tweak my performance to turn out a better product.  these were soft on the inside, bordering on mushy.  the outside was crusty...but I was seeking a flakey experience throughout.

I made something a couple of weeks ago, it was the oatmeal raisin cookies, and I questioned the use/quality of nutmeg (an ingredient I normally dig, especially in savory dishes).  well, I finally checked the date on the jar and, oops, it was way past expiration.  at the market, they were out of "regular" nutmeg so I decided to get a jar of whole ones.  I enjoyed the "return to a simpler time" aspect of grating the nutmeg...and, not surprisingly, the wonderful aromatherapy.

apple cider donut hole.  making these was a mixed bag.  I guess you could say the hype (in my head and heart) could not quite be lived up to.  the logistical pain of frying donuts for the first time will never be as challenging as it was yesterday and so I can envision myself making these again and having the total experience be a happier one.  the donut "holes" themselves were really good.  I mean, a warm and crispy fried dough ball?  what's not to like?  these were light and pleasing.  they were not cooked well through, though.  next time they need to be smaller.  and I need a working candy thermometer for next time.  I really had no idea what temperature the oil was.  and speaking of oil...Cap is our resident fryer and being a kinesthetic learner, I had to experience frying to understand the ins and outs of how/how much dang oil is used to deep fry.  it's a frakking lot.  and...honestly, it felt like a waste.  so, next time, I guess I'll make more donuts.  but it would have to be for a crowd because, really, they are best still warm from frying.  see?  my complicated mixed feelings.  also disappointing: Cap didn't want one (he wasn't feeling well) and the boys did not like them.  I am usually not invested in the rest of the family loving, or even liking, what I make, but this one made my heart twinge a bit.

pumpkin tea cake with cream cheese frosting.  sometimes, I will change what I call something to reflect a shift in ingredients.  for example, the pumpkin bacon scallion biscuits were called pumpkin bacon chive biscuits in the original recipe.  but, this one, I could not call these pumpkin bars, not with this frosting, which elevated/transformed the final product to more of a cake.  I am now using coconut crystals or honey or maple syrup as substitutes for cane sugar when I bake.  but, for this frosting, I decided to use the powdered sugar called for because the thought of a brown cream cheese frosting made me sad.  this came out wonderfully.  the cake was dense and it had a rustic, hearty quality that paired nicely with the sweet, sticky frosting (which was way too sweet for me...and raised the burning question: how much can you decrease the sugar in a frosting without negatively impacting the texture of it?)  I froze half the cake and plan on serving it at a brunch this weekend.  I am going to make a non-dairy frosting for it using vegan cream cheese and will use less sugar.  I may make a tiny test batch using coconut crystals to see how unsightly the resulting brown is.

celery root, sweet potato and red onion.  I adapted this Martha Stewart recipe to use up the celery root from last week's CSA share.  I thought the apple, even a tart one, would make it sweeter than I wanted...but the celery root had more of a kick to it than I expected and next time, I will put the apple in.  this was pure CSA goodness.  we are very much entering root vegetable season here and I will be making variations of this kind of peel, cube, par boil and skillet fry for weeks and weeks to come.  Martha Stewart's website is becoming a reliable source of recipes for me.  (another thing that makes me go hmm.)

we are in the midst of a delicious and bountiful apple season.  the simple pleasures of gazing upon Mother Earth's color spectrum, inhaling the delicate and unadorned scents and biting into juicy, crunchy, sweet, flavorful apples has been incredibly happy-making.

I have also been amassing tabs in my Google Chrome...of things I wanted to share here...

• homemade mosquito spray.

• coconut white chocolate recipe.  I have ordered the cocoa butter and am stoked to make this!

• apple honey "lemonade" recipe.  "aid digestion and boost immunity"?  yes, please.

• daily rituals of creative minds.  this reinforced things I already strive for and think highly of.

• 8 fascinating facts about anxiety.  5,6 and 8 were the ones that surprised me (both because I recognized myself in them and I never made a connection to these experiences and anxiety).

• re-Sendakify Sendak.  thanks to Lana for this one.  a must for fans of kid lit.

• a lovely poem.

• making lemonade out of lemons.  if by lemonade we mean gorgeous and haunting black and white photos...and by lemons we mean a frightening and destabilizing medical experience.  this one is from Lana's photo blog.

• 15 Peruvian foods you have to try.  I don't want to jinx anything by saying we're going to Peru in a few months, but that is the plan.  one of the things making me anxious about this trip is wondering what Gem is going to eat/how to feed him.  I was pleased to see that apart from the desserts on this list, most seemed gluten- and dairy-free.

• another lovely poem.

• GO: A Kid's Guide To Graphic Design.  looks like a cool book.  Kidd's first novel, The Cheese Monkeys, blew me away.  this one is not a novel, it's about graphic design and aimed for humans 10 and up.

• gorgeous and stunning nature photography.

• headspace.  a meditation app I am thinking about trying.

• pumpkin muffins on my to do list.

• pumpkin truffles on my to do list.

• raw almond butter cups on my to do list.

• my latest percolating obsession: stuffing.  of the 25 on this list, I'm going to try the Kitchn one first.  (gluten-free, of course.)

• I am wanting meat less these days and was delighted to see this come across my virtual desk this morning: 37 vegetarian dishes for Thanksgiving.

Phew.  Okay, that was a lot.

Peace, my loves. 

A day in the life

What I wanted to do today was read.  Read NOS4A2 all day.  Because it is due tomorrow with no renewal, because it is a new book.  Instead, I rolled out of bed, cleaned up late night remnants in the kitchen, fed Gem some breakfast, rallied the kids for a stroll, and voted.

Then I made breakfast again.  For Sag and myself, and Gem, who decided to be Hobbit-y and have a second breakfast.

Then I paid some bills and kept Gem company while he worked on some Math.  And called gymnastics to let them know Sag has a sprained wrist and won't be in class.

Then I started to practice Qigong but was interrupted by a request.

Then I drove Cap to work.  He has been in a grading frenzy.

Then I ran some errands since I was going to be out.

Then I sat with Gem again while he worked on some more Math.  And discovered that the second session of swimming is full and put the kids on a wait list.

Then I made lunch.  I love this recipe for kale salad.  It is one of my most favorite, ever.  (The kids don't eat kale.  They had taco leftovers.)

Then Sag asked for cheese dip.  His lunch was nachos with taco fixings and he wished for cheese sauce (but he called it dip).  I started poking around the internet for cheese dip recipes and realized I was missing a crucial ingredient: cream cheese.

Then I started putting dinner together.  I prepped a marinade.  I pulled the chicken thighs out of their pouch (they had been defrosting in water all morning)...and one of the thighs had gone way bad.

Then I hoofed it over to Whole Paycheck and picked up a package of chicken thighs and a box of cream cheese.  I was wearing sweat pants.  And my slouchy knit hat because I still had bedhead.  And my fitted Red Sox hoodie looked awful funny zipped over my very baggy sweatpants.  So I unzipped the hoodie which revealed my baggy worn magenta iKnit t-shirt.  I considered changing for a split second and then decided I really didn't care.

Then I prepped the chicken, set it to marinate, and returned to Internet Land in search of cheese dip inspiration.

Then I made cheese dip.  Sag was ambivalent when he saw it.  It turned out he was expecting something quite a bit more Velveeta-esque.  No matter.  As soon as he took his first bite, he was smitten.

I used this Trisha Yearwood recipe as a base.  I subbed mostly ewegurt (sheep milk plain yogurt) and a bit of mayo for the mayo, I subbed a mystery (delicious) cheese from my mom's the other night for the Monterey Jack, I subbed a splash of sriracha for the cayenne, and I subbed an end slice of Whole Food's GF Light Sandwich bread, crumbed with a couple dashes of salt, for the 8 butter crackers.

Sag and I scooped up a quarter of the 9-inch pie plate with tortilla strips for a snack.  Yum.

And now, now it's time to make dinner.  The rice is in the cooker, my snapshots have been Instagrammed, I need to reprogram the DVR to allow for the Red Sox game to be watched at 8...  Once I am done cleaning up from dinner, I'll likely get a call about picking up my honey.  Then it will be time for the game.  And I have a feeling inertia and pooped-ness will settle down upon me.  I will not practice Qigong.  I will not hole up with my book.  I will sit in my red chair next to my native New Englander in his blue chair...and hopefully not gnash our teeth too much at the tv.

Peace and love.

Exhale

As I took my last bite of braised red cabbage and apple scrambled with chopped plum tomato and a pastured egg with a drizzle of fish sauce (Red Boat = sugar-free)...my body released a tiny moan of pleased satisfaction.  And I felt so lucky.  And I felt so grateful.  (The soup is butternut which deepened overnight into a super savory delight.)

Yesterday I read an interview with Ann Leary and was struck by something she said:

"I think what people who aren't alcoholics don't understand is that denial isn't a refusal to believe the truth on the part of the alcoholic. They actually believe their truth. You know, it's not that they're turning, you know, a blind eye. They actually are in a different reality than their family members."

As I shift into a Dragon-y phase, I am quietly stunned by my pieces as they fall into...a different more healthful design.  I am the same, I am still me...yet going to class and practicing the Qigong movements for just a few days has brought about a subtle sea change.

(Eating less; feeling naturally and actually hungry, as opposed to, the more familiar clawing anxious seeking comfort hungry; being aware of the ebb and flow of nourishment and inflammation/distention; feeling more focus; feeling more calm.)

I don't think I am a true addict, but I know I have the tendency in my DNA.  I wonder if this has landed me in the center part of a Venn diagram.  I am capable of going into "different realities" while simultaneously believing that in doing so, I am refusing to believe "the truth".  That's some serious push and pull and would explain some things.

Anyway, all the tension and chaos of the past few months are quickly being left in the dust.  I am feeling good.

The weather has turned autumnal again and I am obsessively enjoying my new robe, the second robe I have ever owned.  It is cozy and colorful and chenille.

I am rediscovering the joy of apples.  Local, low-pesticide fruits fresh from the orchard.  YUM.  The color, texture, fragrance, flavor...unbeatable.

I hope you are thoroughly enjoying something today.

Peace and love.

Common meal

We hosted a quiet, lovely common meal tonight that turned out to be us and Silke, Roger and Lukas.  I made the turkey meatballs yesterday because meatballs taste even better the day after and they were scrumptious.  I defrosted and reheated the butternut squash soup I'd made for the last time (we had to cancel), tweaked it with some grade B maple syrup and it was hearty and comforting.  Cap made corn bread and used coconut sugar so I could eat it.  For dessert, I served the granola and latest batch of oatmeal cookies.  Both were hits.

I took Gem to the doctor this morning to get tested for strep (it was negative).  He's feeling a little poopy, Cap is fighting a cold, and I may or may not be.

Sag was raring to go to gymnastics so that's where we were this afternoon.  He loves it, which provides a primal and passionate motivation.  But, it is not easy for him and his efforts and perseverance take my breath away every time.  Here he is on his nemesis, the rope.  I was never able to move up a rope as a child (or a teen...or an adult).  He hasn't yet, but I think he will, in due time.

Peace and love.

Playing with food

The recent down shift in cooking has meant:

• way too much eating out (SO rough on the wallet, not to mention the waistline)

• little to no meal planning or sticking to the meal plan

• deterioration in the no-bringing-gluten-into-the-house practice

• less general/overall rhythm to the day

• more stress/anxiety due to all the above

Yet, some clarity.  When I thought about meal planning for this week, I recognized that between Gem's mystery "not feeling well" which I will be hitting head on (done waiting it out) and Cap's hosting-in-every-way-except-they-won't-be-sleeping-here of two Japanese professors (they arrived today and leave next weekend), I needed to balance out nourishment with convenience.  I must assume limited time/energy/attention for cooking.

There will be hot dogs and Alphatots.  Trying my hand at making the meat sauce from Against All Grain (Nom Nom Paleo's photos of the sauce are divine...click the link!) will wait while I serve up good ol' Amy's Family Marinara mixed with ground meat, again.  One of my goals this Fall, to test cook and taste test some grain- and/or gluten-free kid classics like pizza, mac and cheese and pancakes will also wait.

Putting the groceries away today, I noticed the pantry and freezer were bursting at the seams.  Time to declutter/cook down.  I realized they contained some good and interesting stuff.  Inspired, I made a list.  By next week's food shopping, I will devise a meal plan that utilizes most, if not all of these ingredients:

rice vermicelli

dulse flakes

nutritional yeast

beef broth

jasmine rice

kelp noodles

green chiles

sardines

anchovies

ground Mangalitsa pork

pastured turkey sausage

pastured chicken livers

pastured ribeye steak

Peace and love.

Here

I'm still here.

I apologize for the inadvertent absence from my blog space.  I had insomnia three times in the span of a week and have been recovering from that blow.  I am unable to fully accept/embrace sleep deprivation into my life as others have, with grace.

As a family, we are easing into the new home/school year.

Last night I made soft tacos for the first time and they were a smashing success.

More...soon.

Peace and love.

Food, flora, fauna

I was able to keep up with my Chinese herbs, including the jet lag ones.  Happily, none of us needed the "food poisoning" ones (for any extreme digestive disruption).  I was bummed to find the Calm packets unavailable in stores in Oakland and Sacramento.  Next time I will pack a full supply at home.

The produce in California, for those of you not lucky enough to know, is outrageously good, and seasonal, year round.  Audrey had picked these strawberries up the day before our arrival at a farmer's market.  They were bring-tears-to-your-eyes delicious.  Simple, sweet, flavorful, juicy.

Leo was under the weather for a couple of days recovering from a bad infection.  He perked up and was back to himself by the time we were leaving.  He's a handsome love.

Feeding this one while away, I ain't gonna lie, was tough.  He loves sushi, but not all sushi is created equal (and there isn't much that is worse in the culinary world as bad sushi) and, as it turned out, even he will get tired of eating it.  We were always close to natural food markets, but I underestimated how much time I would need at my disposal to plan and prepare meals for him being on the go as much as we were.  He was a trooper.

Burrito #1: Los Cantaros.  From a taqueria on Lake Merritt near the Oakland Whole Foods.  Very fresh and yummy.  This was a super carnitas with refried beans (guac and sour cream in addition to the rice, beans and cheese of a regular).

Barbra took us to the Morcom Rose Garden.  A true city oasis.  I am not a big fan of roses, but these blooms were gorgeous.

Branches and stonework in the Rose Garden.

The mind boggling yogurt case at the Oakland Whole Foods.  Gem discovered that he likes Greek style strawberry coconut yogurt on this trip.

I went out for Thai food one night before seeing a play.  I was still so full from the burrito I'd had for lunch that I kept it simple: coconut soup and a few bites of jasmine rice.  The soup was a wonderful treat for the senses.  Yum.

Rachael came over for lunch one day.  It was sooooo nice to hang out with friends while cooperatively putting together our lunch.  I get lonely cooking in my kitchen sometimes.  Chicken Cobb salad: chicken, bacon, avocado, tomato, lettuce, hard boiled egg and olives.  Outstanding.  (I made my favorite vinaigrette for the dressing.)

Barbra and Audrey have grape vines in their backyard.  2013 has proven to be a very good harvest year.  These gems burst with sweet flavor and juicy flesh and were quite addictive.

I love Eucalyptus trees.  The gnarls, the whorls, the sturdy yet soft quality of the trunk and bark, the unmistakable fragrance of the leaves at their dry, dusty roots.

These Eucalyptus trees were in Mary's family's local playspot in Berkeley.

Burrito #2: Picante.  Sublime.  My words cannot do it justice.  A super carne asada with refried beans.  YUM.  I look forward to eating another Picante burrito again next time I am out in the Bay Area.  Until then, I will happily abstain from all the lesser burritos out there for the taking.  I briefly considered driving out to Berkeley the night before we left to get a burrito for the plane.  (I didn't, dang packing!)  Picante has GF and vegan items clearly marked on their menus.  Gem enjoyed the steak tacos with lettuce and a lemonade.  It always pleases me to see him able to order something off a restaurant menu, safely.

One day, obliging the kids' specifications for a "flat" walk (vs. hilly hike), Barbra took us to a paved walkway along a section of the Oakland Estuary.  In the above shot you can see the control tower of the Oakland Airport across the water.

Here is a waterway coming into the estuary from the Oakland Hills.  After taking a tumble into the Google rabbit hole, I believe this is Damon Slough (fed by Lion and Arroyo Viejo Creeks).  (I have a tenacious desire to know the names of things.)

The kids appreciated the ease of this walk.  Sag thoroughly enjoyed having Barbra (and Leo) to himself for this outing.  By mid-visit he was asking Barbra if he could come back by himself sometime and stay with them for a month!

Dry grass.  So pretty.  (And such a hazard...Yosemite burned while we were on this vacation.)

More delectable local produce.  Simple and delicious lunch at home.

I had no expectations of staying strictly Paleo while away...and I didn't.  However, generally, I did not desire sweets.  This corn cherry scone from Arizmendi was remarkably enticing though.  There was a story, too.  I had heard that a childhood friend of the family, a kid my sister went to school with, was a baker at this worker-owned cooperative.  He was not working the day I stopped in during my last visit to Oakland.  But, this time, he was.  I was thrilled to not even recognize this dude (it had been over thirty years since we'd last seen each other) who has carved out a lovely life for himself out in Oakland, quite far from home.  I had a bite of this scone (Audrey's favorite) and it was lovely.

Food trucks!  On Friday night, Rachael and her family crossed the bay to have dinner with us.  Sag, in particular, is a big fan of food trucks and a little research revealed that Off The Grid would be at the Oakland Museum of California.

All thought it would be fun to give it a whirl...and it was!

Sag and Gem had burgers and fries...

and I had the lechon burrito from the Hapa SF truck.  It was good, but next time I am going to try the lumpia.

Burrito #3: Hapa SF.  Massively slow roasted pork, avocado, jalapeño and rice.  Tasty and fresh.

Loved this bumper sticker.

After dinner we trekked over to Flavor Brigade for frozen custard and ices, Philly style.  Yum!

Kept it real (and delicious) with scrambled Sonoma Valley eggs and lovely local lettuce for a breakfast at home.

Metabolic Frolic.  Good name for a band.  I thought this was hilarious, courtesy of Barbra and Audrey's pantry.

We met Malachi and Erika at the Exploratorium in San Francisco on Saturday morning (and headed to Sacramento later that day).  There are pics of that outing coming later.  The quinoa hijiki salad I had for lunch at the museum was really good.  It was nice to find something scrumptious and right up my culinary alley in a somewhat institutional setting.

Sacramento, our old and brief stomping grounds, is located in the delta where the Sacramento and American Rivers meet.  During this visit, we hiked a section of the American River with Malachi, Erika, Jerry and Mike.

Sacramento is very arid and the river and its shores bring to the landscape lush and welcome spots of green.

I could not resist popping into our formerly local Japanese supermarket, Oto's.

And I was in seventh heaven back in one of my favorite stores ever, the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op.  I had a lovely lunch of potato salad and curried chicken salad after our hike.

Burrito #4: La Favorita Taqueria.  Our Sacramento go to burrito.  Cap went out with Jerry one night for a late dinner.  I'd already eaten, but I couldn't resist...I asked him to bring me back a "small" super burrito (no meat).  Yum.

Charlie.  She was in a lot of pain during our visit, but things started looking up right before we left.  Sweet, soulful pup.

Cap popped into our old favorite bakery one morning.  This was the official turning point where I leaped off the Paleo wagon with both feet.  I wanted a chocolate croissant, but it being a week day, they didn't have them.  So, instead, I had this delicious chocolate studded brioche.

The biggest marigold I ever saw.

Chinese Elm and Palm, side by side.

Hornets nesting in the backyard laundry line structure.  Luckily, they shooed me away without using their stingers!

I love the patio of the Tower Café.  Love, love, love.  The food is good, too, and it is conveniently located adjacent to the Tower movie theater and a free parking lot.

Erika and I went out to dinner, a movie and the indie book shop, one evening.  This was my view during dinner.  Sigh.

Palm trees being hit with setting sun rays.

The last thing we did in Sacramento was enjoy a box of GFCF cupcakes from Pushkin's.  Cap picked these beauties up after his lunch with Ellen.  From the upper left: chocolate coconut, salted pecan crunch, Ande's mint, vanilla blackberry, raspberry, and barracuda (chocolate chocolate cupcake with chocolate ganache).

I had the salted pecan crunch.  This was a good cupcake.  The frosting had a slightly foamy quality to it that I did not care for, and, it bordered on ragingly sweet for this relatively sugar-free girl.  But, the flavors were spot on, especially the maple in the frosting.

We drove straight to Berkeley that afternoon for our second visit with Mary and her family.  While the menfolk hung out with the kidlets, I took Mary out to dinner for her birthday and she introduced me to the amazing food at Zut!

I started with the Brussels sprouts with bacon, garlic, lemon and Parmesan cheese.  It was bright and savory with wonderful texture.

I was delighted with the bucatini.  The thickness of the pasta reminded me, favorably, of udon noodles.  The serving was a perfect fistful bursting with color and comfort.  Yum.

For dessert I had a heavenly few bites of the summer berry galette with crème fraîche ice cream.  The ice cream was one of my favorite bites of the year.  The slightly sour, incredibly refreshing quality of the rich cream just sent me.  I LOVED it.  I was fully sated before I finished it...such a strange new reality!
 

We spent much of our last day in San Francisco.  After meandering through the wonderful Cartoon Art Museum (pics to follow in another post), we met Lana for lunch at the Ferry Building.  Lana and the kids enjoyed burgers and fries (the sweet potato fries are gluten-free) at Gott's.

I bided my time and loved up some empanadas for my lunch.  The mushroom one was solid, but oh my goodness, the Carne (grass-fed beef, olives and raisins) was fantastic.  So yummy.

I was most excited, though, with our visit to the Mariposa Baking Co. outpost.  Barbra had mentioned this gluten-free bakery to me before our visit, and we had not made it to the Oakland storefront.  Gem selected the sesame bagels for flight home food.  It was a magical moment taking hold of a bag of fresh and wonderfully aromatic bagels made in a gluten-free bakery.  Sigh.  Gorgeous.

Barbra and Audrey have a lovely landscaped front yard.  I could not photograph it to my satisfaction.  One of the many plants that caught my eye was called salvia.  This, too, I could not photograph to my liking.  This pic, though, taken our last evening in Oaktown, I dug this.  Salvia petals on the stoop.

I also loved this mystery magenta leaf.

We picked the site of our last supper early on.  A sushi restaurant in Alameda that the kids enjoyed the last time they visited.  I love the location, right on the water, and the food is fresh and very good.  I normally don't go for oshinko at Japanese restaurants because it just seems so pedestrian (having grown up experiencing these condiments as very much "every day", but this night, I craved the crunchy tang of these pickled veg.  The colors can't be beat, either (highly unnatural, I am sure).

I went with a bento box for my dinner.  I was in the mood for lots of little things.  This was agedashi tofu...a dish that can go soggy and wrong fast.  These were lightly fried and delish.

Good tempura is so hard to find.  Remarkably so.  I've been spoiled by being fed homemade tempura regularly as a child, and, being treated to tempura in restaurants that only do tempura and are renowned for their tempura, in Japan.  This tempura, was among the best I've had in a restaurant, stateside.  There was a homemade quality to it, that I appreciated.

A spicy scallop handroll.  Yum, yum, yum.  The sushi in this joint is fresh and the servings of the good stuff (the fish) are generous.  They totally deserve to rock their name with pride: Sushi House.

What I saw as we left the restaurant.  A view I could totally live with (the bay spreads out to the left of this shot).  Sigh.

I am pooped!  And really missing these places and people.

Peace and love.