Something delicious

The Bistro Bar in Caramel Caresse (dark chocolate bar filled with pear caramel) made by Chocolat Moderne available at my friendly neighborhood chocolate shop. Here's a link to the product.

I'm trying the grapefruit caramel next :-)

Peek-a-boo

Not sure if I'm gonna roar back blog-wise, but...

House is back on! I just love that character/actor (Hugh Laurie) and the show.

Reaper and Lost are back on, too.

The next bunch of weeks will bring an onslaught of new episodes until summer when all will lie fallow. I always start to feel like it's too much, but cannot manage to detach from the set...

Some time off

I need to take a break from the blog for...I don't know how long. Maybe a week or so.

I wish I could take a break from the computer for that time, but with e-mail, that's going to be tough.

I've derailed a bit, and need to reset myself.

Check back in about a week...and thanks to you for reading and caring.

Nature kicks my ass

In a good way.

Every time.

We went on a woods walk with Lucia and Holly this morning. My gut was giving me some trouble and I almost canceled.

But I wanted to see Holly and Lucia.

And then First expressed dismay at the possibility of not being able to go. Which was the clincher, really. This child doesn't ask for much outside of his routine and repertoire.

The notion that walking in the woods has become something akin to either of these things for First is delightful to me.

The bonus, soaking in the changes that have transformed the woods since we were last there with Sophia and Wendy.

More color was immediately evident. Not sure what these beauties are called, but they sure caught my eye.

It warmed significantly during the two hours we were there. And with that comes the slight malodor of dog poop. This area is a favorite for off-leash dogs and their people. It actually didn't bother me much at all today (super smeller that I am).

How many rocks can I get on my hand?

I did it! (...and patiently waiting for a turn...)

Can I get through the drainage pipe?

In the moment.

I can get through the drainage pipe!

Snack break.

Leaves beginning to unfurl.

There were black caterpillars squiggling around in there. I didn't notice the hollowed out tree knot in the foreground till now.

Making streams and waterfalls for the ants. (Then complaining of thirst before making it back to the car :-)

It feels great to be getting out more. I'm hoping to get down to the beach sometime soon.

For now, though, the mess in these rooms beckons, longing to be put back into some semblance of order.

Flotsam

Another day could easily go by without a post. So a quick one.

I fell off the DW food wagon over the weekend. Celebrations and rituals are so much about food for me. When we go to my mom's place, we usually get Thai food. When it's someone's birthday (Auntie Lisa this time), there's a lot of food :-)

Some pad thai here, a couple of deviled eggs there, a turkey hotdog here, some fruit salad there...

Then Sunday night Cap and I had one of those "what do you want for dinner?" "I don't know..." back and forths and maybe it was because I'd already fallen off the wagon, maybe it was because I was seeking comfort from something in the air that night, but I ended up eating some pasta with broccoli rabe. Both technically on DW, but I ate too much of it.

My GI system has been protesting. Sunday night terribly, and last night again.

I saw Vinny yesterday which was helpful. For these last few weeks of DW I'm seeing him once a week for the extra support I get from him.

I cooked all morning yesterday and have steamed garlic broccoli, baba ganoush, and apple pear compote in the fridge. Getting back on track.

More than once during this DW time, I have wished for a more monkish existence. It feels like it would be easier, and somehow more suited for this kind of slowing down and focused practice. But, Dr. Lu is well aware of the nature of life these days and expects that more growth will come out of the challenges of doing DW amidst the noise, distraction and occasional chaos.

I'm thinking I'll do it again this summer. I learn by doing and getting through this once will go a long way towards incorporating the ideas and practices of DW into my life in a more permanent way.

Our apartment has been a big mess for a week or more now. A sign, I guess, that we just have so much going on that if we lose focus on something it goes by the wayside. It's mysterious because it doesn't feel like we have that much going on.

P.S. I've been watching Battlestar Galactica at night. I'm almost caught up to the episodes currently airing (the final season). I missed some episodes somewhere, but what can you do. It's really good. I love it.


I took this photo a couple of days ago in a fit of silliness. Today it represents my desire and curiosity: If I could close my eyes and open them and be somewhere else, where would I go? Where would I be?

Go Kinder go!

Kinder ran his first "fun run" yesterday. It was a kids' race which preceded a running event that his aunt and uncle ran. He was adamant about not running till the last second when we realized that an adult could run with him and he changed his mind.

My brother accompanied him to the starting line, but once he heard "go!", Kinder dusted him and finished the race one satisfied kid.

Takai and Kinder were interviewed after the fun run and ended up on a local broadcast. The video can be found here at the website of the tv station. Enjoy (and make sure to watch the whole clip to hear Kinder talk :-) !

When worlds collide

On Saturday we went to see matt pond PA perform a show as part of an Earth Day festival in Central Park. We found a perfect, comfortable spot on a beautiful wooden bench under a big tree.

We danced, sang, people watched, the kids experienced their first rock concert, and all was fine.

I was very happy, as you can see.

After the show, First and I picked up a sapling to plant (they were being given away) and then went over to Matt Pond to say "hey".

He squeezed my hand. Imagine the high pitch whine of two worlds approaching collision (fantasy and reality). I remember him saying "hi" to First who was in full shy mode, but then nothing until a couple of minutes later when I was gushing to Kinder and Cap that I was never going to wash that hand again.

mpPA alert!

I will be continuing the inculcation of the kids with all things Matt Pond PA tomorrow when we see them live and for free here. Yippeeee!

How to make a button

Saw this over at Julie's blog. The kids thought it was hilarious. I did too :-)

http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=1454975012

Climb every mountain

(Cue "Sound of Music" soundtrack...no not really :-)

A few weeks ago the kids (Kinder, First and Lucia) were inspired to climb a very steep, leaf-covered slope while playing in the woods. The natural slide down was fun, too, and at the time, I thought it was the goal.

But, talking to Holly this morning, she told me that they did some intense climbing this week upstate. It was sparked, in part, by their curiosity about where the source of a waterfall was, but just as much, if not more, by Lucia's desire to conquer the slope.

Then, I remembered that First had challenged himself (and me) similarly yesterday at the park. Our group had spent part of the afternoon in a field-grove area to enjoy birthday cake and play. The spot was backed by a high slope which banked up to a ridge, past which was a walking path leading back to the parking lots.

The kids in the group set off in search of more adventure, the long way around. First wanted to climb the slope. Luckily, Kinder was tended to by Kelly (in the stroller no less!) so I was free to accompany First.

Well. I did not realize how steep the grade of the slope got. It was comical, me lugging three bulky bags (not really heavy as most of the food had been eaten by this point), the two of us bursting through bushes up top into the path of a young couple mid-dreamy stroll, and it was intense, worrying about the good-sized pieces of glass we encountered and imagining the hurt if either of us slipped and landed on them.

It was also completely anticipated and almost shocking to have had the experience of feeling very much alone, in full concentration, as we navigated our way up a slope which about 3/4 of the way up, I thought might conquer us. In the middle of a city park.

This seemed like such a small moment in our lives, but it fully embodied the spirit, philosophy and practice of homeschooling. The satisfaction of completing a challenge of your own choosing, the minutiae of all the little/big sensory and cognitive experiences that went into the process from beginning to end (not to mention what may be recalled by memory), how it will fit into larger patterns of living and learning and being together...this is what homeschooling is about for me.

We wouldn't be having these experiences in quite the same way without the friendship and camaraderie and support of the people we're with right now. I am so grateful for the community that we're a part of here.

(The photo above, which First took, is of the top half of the slope we climbed up.)

Gratitude

Fascination...it was all Kinder could do not to jump in. He wanted to learn how to play bocce ball so bad!

Purpose and style...walking in the park with stick and grapes in hand made for a contented boy.

Wonder and inquiry...there's some serious thinking happening here.

An eye for beauty...this one was snapped by First.

Devilish smiles...can you guess what it was that filled him with such glee?

GFCF recipes...for the pioneers who came before and the spirit of those who continue and create traditions.

Reading...wherever, whenever.

Friendship...for among other things, giving us the chance to do the things we really want to do.

Gifts...that help us explore and develop and live our dreams.

Sakura

No feeling dried up and brown today :-) It was sunny, balmy, and we met up with homeschooling friends old and new to play amidst the cherry blossom trees in full bloom at a local park renowned for their collection ("more trees than D.C.!")

I'll post more pics soon. I need to go roll some sushi for dinner. If I try often enough, I should be able to get the hang of it eventually...right?

We also celebrated Kelly's birthday, which is today. Happy birthday dear friend!

Rhythm

It's that time of the...year?...cycle?...life?

I'm feeling the full force of spring, of all this change, transition. It's completely natural, the life bursting from the seams, the colors, the scents, the blooms, the heat. But, there's something nearly chaotic about it which I am sensitive to, maybe because I'm in the midst of DW.


Yesterday, I picked these up. The seed casings of magnolia blossoms. I like fuzzy plant parts. But, this morning, it comes full circle because they seem to symbolize how I feel. Brown, dry, used up (though not without meaning and purpose).

Amidst the unrest and instability, I am craving rhythm and routine.

So, last night I did finally go to bed close to 10:00. I feel better rested this morning, but still tired. We are transitioning the kids back to their beds when they come to the big bed in the middle of the night and this has made for some wakeful and challenging nights for all of us.

I'm going back to clearer (and earlier) definitions around bedtime, back to more regular meal times, back to more rhythmic and whole food prep and cooking (this has been a toughie with me doing DW and the rest of the family not into the DW food I've made).

DW has helped me not stress and worry too much, to better identify my feelings, plucking them out of the swirls of emotion, and to deal with them with more clarity.

So, the sluggish start to the second quarter of the year, demarcated only in my mind, just "is". I'm hoping to get some things going with the kids next week. Numeracy with Kinder, Galapagos Islands with First.

Scarves

Here's Kinder's scarf.




And here's the scarf Wendy knit for me. Strange how different the color looks in varying light. It's more like the top one in shade, but the bottom one in richness.

I have other finished projects photographed, will post them next week.

I've started a new project and am really liking it. It has been enhanced by a book I bought yesterday called Vogue Knitting Stitchionary Vol. 1. I've officially graduated from "Everything You Need To Know About Knitting".

I also bought one of Yarn Harlot's books, called Knitting Rules! I love her writing and this book is not disappointing so far.

I think that's the last of my X-mas and b-day money. I also bought the last of the Matt Pond PA cds that I didn't yet have...which should be arriving this week.

A sunday out

Today I will be here, and Cap and the kids will be here. So it will be all quiet on the blogging front.

I'm posting a Gnarls Barkley video on the sidebar. They performed this song, Run, on Saturday Night Live last night and it KICKED ASS. Unfortunately, it's not up on You Tube yet. Look for it in another day or two.

You never know

The kids and I went to the local yarn shop having the sale. They each were drawn to specific, different yarns.

Kinder's selection was startling to me...it was something I would never have picked up, and it's quite possible it would have never even registered on my brain as I visually scanned the skeins and skeins of yarn.

He hasn't shown much interest in my knitting, yarns, or yarn shopping, so my heart leaped when he said he saw something he liked.

You know, it was the feel of it that got him first, I think. I have to say, the shopkeepers were totally cool about the fact that my younger was enthusiastically and quite methodically either sticking his face into bunches of yarn or rubbing yarn all over and around his face (especially the region of his mouth and cheeks).

The yarn he selected was very smooth and kind of shiny. The color (Etsuko Blue) is not done justice in the picture at the website (see above). It's much richer and with a strong dark green undertone. I actually misread the label and thought that the color was called "bonsai" (and thought it appropriate), when it's actually the line that is called that!

And, of course, it wasn't on sale :-)

So I bought only one skein of it (had it been on sale, I was imagining making him a "vest" of chain mail for dress-up---the yarn has a metallic sheen to it), and am knitting up a skinny scarf. It's about the width of a necktie. The garter stitch is knitting up beautifully. I've been in a bamboo-bamboo zone, both yarn and needles coming from the same sustainable source.

And I actually really like the yarn! Thanks, Kinder, for pointing it out to me. I never would have known.

Addendum

First described the skin around my belly button as looking like it had feathers on it. A lovely way to see stretch marks, no?

I had a Ting yesterday and it tasted a) SO salty, and b) completely like a fake food.

My clothes are less tight on me.

Sleep

I think lack of sleep is at the crux of feeling crappy right now. Need to fall back into the habit of going to bed at 10:00.

The kids came to bed last night around 1:00 which was really too early to have the bed all crowded (we had only recently gone to bed after watching Bill Maher), but it was lightening and thundering, and well, the last thing I wanted to do as a kid when it was lightening and thundering was to be away from my mom.

Cap surrendered at 4:00 am and took refuge in First's bunk.

There's a free chocolate sampling at the local choco shop this afternoon and a yarn sale at a local yarn shop this weekend. Sounds therapeutic.

I'm in a pushing through phase of DW. My mind wants non-DW food, my mind wants to take a break from the qi gong. A familiar wall, really.

Finished another knitting project yesterday. Signed up for Ravelry. But, it will be a week or two or three before I get invited. There are a lot of knitters out there.

Off to do qi gong. Gotta push.

Want to see a gorgeous scarf? Take a look.

Start stop start

Wanting to move slowly. Today I can. We can. We're all home, doing our own thing, coming together, drifting apart.

Yesterday turned out a bit crazy with a terror alert at Cap's uni, a partially detached retina for Mummu (which has been treated and she now needs to sit tight for five days---thank goodness for Auntie Nancy who drove her in and out of Boston), and a major crisis for some dear, dear friends.

Kelly and her girls came over for a playdate as the shit was hitting the fan and she was true blue. Played with all the kids while I was on the phone for over an hour. We ate leftovers from co-op dinner and they went home.

I found some comfort in garlic knots and avocado sushi rolls for dinner. And bacon chocolate for dessert. Yes. Bacon chocolate.

Also knitting. Finished a project and started stopped started another one, trying to get it right. This yarn, that yarn, this pattern, that pattern...

Finished the night with the line-up on NBC, qi gong, and actually going to bed with Cap which is a rarity.

The slowness today is recovery. From yesterday's hubbub and carby goodness/badness of last night's dinner. (The yin and yang of it, the yin and yang of it.)

Qi gong followed by homemade ginger-lemon tea with honey is just the ticket. (Not sure about the bee pollen stirred into warm juice yet. I'm not averse, but I am not sure I am feeling specific benefits.)

Some kidbits:

• We got them some reading lamps and we're all in love. Getting into their beds at night is a whole new experience. They seem to be staying in longer, too.

• Kinder misses Sophia.

• We decided to drop Kinder out of soccer. He did not enjoy himself there for the most part last week. He'd rather play out back with us.

• I asked them to let me know what they'd like to work on with me at home (preplanning for this quarter) and Kinder, without missing a beat, said, "science experiments and soccer".

• We took the bikes out yesterday afternoon after a long winter's hibernation. We need to entice First onto his next bike. He loves his bike which is kind of small for him. The tires were low, but they had fun circling the pavement out back.

Pics

To see pics and Holly's post about a recent visit to the woods we took, go here.

Cooking

Yesterday we hosted co-op dinner and I cooked. Cap has cooked the last few times, he loves cooking for a group, but he was at a conference all day (which went well---his two presentations had about 25 folks in attendance each and he received immediate, positive feedback).

Making our meal turned out to be a meditative, creative and wonderful experience.

I went with longtime favorite ratatouille (from The Silver Palate cookbook---an excellent recipe which is even better the day after), carrot tofu scramble (one of First's faves), spinach with tofu (the tofu is mixed with miso which gives it an almost cheesy flavor), a huge loaf of corn bread made in the big cast iron skillet, and an equally huge fruit salad with watermelon, strawberries, orange, apple, pear and pineapple. And lots of rice cooked up by the trusty rice cooker which, I realized as I was filling it with rice and water, is 15 years old (it was a commitment ceremony gift)!

First made a salad of his own creation which Sasha loved and had seconds of. His mom, Yifat, tried it too, and had seconds, as well, as we delighted in the whole concept. She was saying the salad was reminiscent of something you might taste at a really fancy restaurant :-)

The salad's ingredients:
• raw carrot rounds
• baby lettuce
• fennel...leaves?...fronds? whatever the tops are called
• generous dashes of black pepper
• dried basil ground with mortar and pestle
• a splash of apple sauce
• a squeeze of lemon juice

Kinder made a blueberry smoothie again, tinkering with his recipe a bit.
• one bag frozen blueberries
• one plain soy yogurt
• one banana
• plain soy milk to fill the blender pitcher

The smoothie was incredibly thick, but it was all gone by the end of the night.

It was the perfect day. The kids played peacefully while I cooked, sometimes together, sometimes alone, and we all had plenty of time to and for ourselves, to be engrossed in imagination and active with our minds and bodies.

Walk in the woods

The kids and I have gotten some time in the woods lately. Last week with Lucia and Holly, this week with Sophia and Wendy. I love doing this, but feel too afraid to do it as the lone adult. A result of my experiences growing up and feeling unprotected when on my own and a molester would enter the picture. In actuality these encounters were so minor, but clearly they left a mark.


These leaves kept drawing my attention. I don't know what they are, but they are so ethereal and eerie.


And these spots of green really stood out in the landscape. We have budding and blossoming trees and bushes out and about, but the woods remain brown and dry.


I love how time slows down as we gaze, poke and wonder.


And explore...


And discover...


And absorb a natural environment so different from home (or in W's case revisit an environment near to one from childhood)...


Snapped this just before he cried out, "no more pictures!"

Untitled

Self-portrait by Kinder

I am surprised. I thought I had mentioned that Wendy and Sophia were visiting for a week, but I totally hadn't! That is the explanation of my absence for a week.

I fully expect to post something tomorrow. Easing back to the routines...began knitting a new scarf tonight. The Misti Alpaca yarn that is so...yummy (that one's for Wendy :-)

More on DW - qi gong

Wow. I just did the full ten qi gong exercises for the first time. It felt really good. I saw Dr. Vinny yesterday for some body/energy work which I'm certain helped open me up for experiencing the exercises the way I did this morning.

My favorite was The Dragon Looks At Her Tail and Rocking The Baby Dragon. The latter gave me a good stretch on my sides and I was enveloped in energy-burst warmth almost immediately.

I like this kind of result...when a simple movement unlocks an awakening that the ability to ease/heal myself has been right HERE all along...

I also noticed that the other movements, which I've been practicing for over a week, felt very different once incorporated into the series of ten. Particularly The Dragon Kicks Backward.

Since the weekend, I've been aware of a distinct sense of vulnerability lurking just below my surface. The DW is chipping away at my defenses which is a good thing, ultimately, though it feels scary at times and fills me with dread at others. On a certain level, I'm trying to pick away at decades of learned behavior in order to reach my source and mine enough of it to last the rest of my life.

Joy. Creativity. Love. Clear and pure and direct.

One of my obstacles, one of my stumblies, is that I eat to comfort myself when I feel vulnerable. Hence the egg, Taylor ham and cheese sandwich Sunday morning, the remainder of a rice milk choco bar Monday night, and the leftover Alphatots off the baking sheet as the kids ate dinner last night.

I look forward to working past that. The good news is that I am at a point where most of the time, my body doesn't call out for many of the old favorites like it used to anymore. I noticed that walking through Whole Paycheck yesterday (got that moniker off a Girlyman blog post :-) Also, my body has started to clearly communicate to me its rejection of these foods, for me, for now. Will I respond as quickly as as one of Skinner's rats? I don't know :-)

Tonight is co-op dinner which will have its allure and later on this week we're going to an Italian restaurant that specializes in "family-style" for a multiple birthday celebration...life goes on.

Sushi peeps

See them here. Gave us a giggle.