Oatmeal raisin cookies

Cap loves oatmeal raisin cookies and, sadly, this is the first time I've made them for him.  I looked at two recipes over at Gluten-Free Goddess, but due to laptop mishaps (my iteration of the Macbook Air has a hardware bug that has mostly just been annoying, but this morning it did an unexpected buggy total shut down which is untenable...must bring it in to the mothership), focused on the one with eggs and chocolate chips in it.  I subbed raisins for the chocolate chips, coconut sugar for the brown sugar, brown rice flour for the sorghum and millet flours, and potato starch for the tapioca starch.

The verdict: these look better than they taste.  I am highly motivated, though, and am already thinking of tweaks.  Next batch I will use half brown rice and half almond flours.  (There was a slightly sandy quality to the cookies.)  I may also pick up a bag of sweet rice flour and try a batch with that and almond flour.  Also, I am going to reduce or eliminate the nutmeg.  It's possible that our nutmeg is going stale...but it just tasted strong and almost bitter.  Finally, I was left with a strong sense of the absence of butter.  As much as I love my Kerrygold, I do not often miss butter in the GFCF food that I make.  So, this experience stood out.  I may try a batch with butter.  Cap eschews dairy, generally, so I'll see what he wants to do.  (He has not tried a cookie yet.  Gem hasn't tried one, either.  Sag thought it was okay, he said it was flaky.)

Peace and love.

Check!

I showed the kids Texts From Mittens (and immediately thereafter knocked the tab off my desktop).

I am incredibly lucky that my life is my life.  Never not know I feel this way.

Peace.

Weekend update

I am overwhelmed, yo.

In one of those hyperly-noticing-every-little-and-big-thing-I-wish-was-done-but-isn't places.

Yuck.

Here are the (seventeen) tabs I currently have open in Chrome:

• Ikea Hack Standing Desk For Shorter Ladies.

•.Gummy Bears recipe.

• my Goole calendar:

• Sesame Kelp Noodles recipe.

• Fresh Ginger Syrup recipe.

• Momastery post that has had me very seriously pondering a 40 day internet fast.

• Momastery post with amazing letter to child posted during her 40 day internet fast which has had me seriously rethinking the fast thing.

• Texts From Mittens.

• The Two Simple Equations That Lead To Financial Success.

• Louis CK Was Almost Right About Smartphones, Loneliness, Sadness, The Meaning Of Life and Everything.

• Gluten-Free Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe.

• another Gluten-Free Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe.

• A Raft Of Grief.

• Pasta With Pea Sauce recipe.

• Fig And Almond Cake recipe.

• Wanna Be On Your Mind:

• Silver Dollar Pancakes recipe:

The first thing that's kind of killing me: most of these tabs come with multiple thoughts/ideas attached to them.  

For example, the gummy bears recipe...

~~~I've been wanting to decrease the kids' sugar intake~~~they might like these~~~ooh the molds are on sale at Think Geek~~~I'll order a bunch of stuff to get free shipping~~~the Think Geek box arrived days ago and remains unopened~~~I spent a long time looking for other stuff to order~~~if I had just gotten the molds and paid for shipping I would have spent $50 less~~~I shouldn't have spent all that money~~~are the kids going to even like these~~~when am I going to make these~~~

Exhausting.  Stupid.  Unstoppable.

Well, seemingly unstoppable.

The second thing that's kind of killing me: this current reality of my desktop (in/arguably a virtual environment) totally mirrors the current reality of my home/body/mind (in/arguably my actual environments).  Lots of thoughts and ideas, intentions and dreams, converted into STUFF that PILES and GATHERS.

Sparks happy and bright devolve into dusty lumps forgotten-in-plain-sight.

This brings me down.  Not in the good-for-me grounding way described here, but in a pulled under into the doldrums way.

And yet, and yet, I push through...through these moments that are not comfortable (unfortunately, they are not comfortable for my little family, either), but are simply a part of my life.

Peace and love.

Neko Case

Last night we went to see Neko Case at Radio City.  "A dream come true," she said with gratitude, before leaving the stage.  It was in my fuzzy top five concerts ever.  I thoroughly enjoyed the evening of at times raucous, at times dramatic, at times heartbreaking, songcraft and music.  And laughs...there were many laughs between Neko's and Kelly Hogan's witty quips.

The most intense moment of the night was this song.

And the most happy-making, head-bopping, release-full one was this song.

Peace and love and music.

Thrumming along on a thursday

My period came "early"...my body has gone perimenopausal rogue...you go, girl.

Good news, it has not decimated me energy-wise and yesterday I drove Sag to gymnastics and then the kids and I went to common meal (which was good but truly a shadow of its former incarnation).

Interesting news, as soon as I got my period, my body felt a huge sense of relief.  I didn't realize how pent up I was, it felt SO good, but also a little loony.

Not bad news, but on the flip side of yesterday's ability to follow the day's agenda, today I am vacillating between craving rest and feeling restless.  Later, I will take Gem to his first programming class (and get myself a spot of tea while waiting for him) and tonight, we head into the city to see Neko Case.

On a separate note, this piece and this piece are resonating recently.

I am feeling too tired to cook...but have some veg that need attention.  Maybe it will happen if I can get my mind-full with the thought...

Peace and love.

Yesterday

Got the time wrong and had an extra half hour to myself sipping on a chai latte before an hour spent catching up with Silke who I had not seen since her return from Germany.

I do love a good mise en place.  The CSA veg called for another shakshouka base.  I used summer squash and boxed crush toms for this one.

I also used red bell peppers because that's what I had.  Love, love, the color.

I love having something to put turmeric in.  I recently learned that it has anti-inflammatory qualities.  The smell of it doesn't call to me, but the color sure does.

Last night was Taco Tuesday.  The protein was ground Mangalitsa pork.  Good thing I'd caramelized these peppers and leeks because the boys decimated the pork (they did wonder out loud whether I was planning on having any pork in mine and I reassured them I was happy to enjoy vegetarian ones).

Dancing autumn shadows captured in a still.

The kids' new slippers and boots arrived.  Whoa.  Just, whoa.

This is one of our biggest bowls piled high with the week's share of fruit.  'Tis the season...

The kids and I watched the premiere of Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. last night.  It was mostly sweet having them be old enough to watch a Joss Whedon work with me, but I was also deeply wistful remembering days of yore watching Buffy with Cap and good friends in our apartment in Cambridge.  

Sag was pleasantly surprised by how much comedy was on display.  It was interesting to see the nearly invisible line that separated the kids' capacities to follow the action and dialogue.  Sag needed significant "hit pause and explain" break.  They both woke up in the middle of the night and Gem stayed up to read because he was scared (he doesn't remember why this morning)...I wonder whether the content/imagery may have been too much.  (We watched the trailer for Gravity which may have stirred some things up in their unconscious, too.)

We saw a shorter version...but the below will give you an idea...bad mommy...

Signs of the season

I spent the morning recovering from a late night watching the Emmys (which I very rarely do, I am a Golden Globes girl), the penultimate episode of Breaking Bad and the series finale of Dexter.  Oh, and I slept on the floor of the kids' room.  I am crossing my fingers that after a week or so of this sleeping arrangement, that a certain someone will stop waking up in the middle of the night needing to check in with me to make sure I am still of this world.

I called upon my trusty shopping pals and we drove over to the mall so I could return/exchange some Fall stuff for myself and also stop into the Apple store to inquire about our options in dealing with a cracked screen on the iPad.

This afternoon, inspired by the many apples remaining in the fruit bowl (tomorrow we receive our next share), and, the shift to much crisper weather, I asked the kids to give me a hand in making some apple sauce.  I ran out to the store to pick up some pork chops and baby spinach, and there is corn bread leftover from last night.  A good dinner will be had.

I am determined to read some books in the next few months.  It has been a spare reading year thus far.  I just finished Questlove's memoir , which I really enjoyed, and am ready for something new.  An embarrassment of riches line my shelves...what to choose, what to choose.

Also, Cap and I have recommitted to watching a movie together every week, alternating turns to pick.  So far, we have watched Adrift In Tokyo, My Man Godfrey, and I Wish.  The Awful Truth is on deck for this weekend.  I've decided to go with a "classics" theme and am choosing movies released before I was born (except one, To Sir, With Love, which I have long wanted to see and was released the year of my birth).  I solicited suggestions on Facebook and have a robust list of movies going, many of which I had never heard of.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all three movies we've seen so far and recommend all of them.  Adrift In Tokyo and I Wish are Japanese movies with subtitles.  Let me know if you have any recommendations for movies or books!

Peace and love.

The hormonal thing

A glimpse into the crazy:

A few days ago, I felt almost angry at myself...easily reducing my life to maker-of-peach-jam and doing nothing to serve anyone outside the scope of my little family.

Then, yesterday, I cannot even remember how or who triggered this, I thought that I might want another baby.

Craaaaaaazy.

I will add that I think there is truth to be recognized in the crazy (generally, for all of us).  Little kernels...to bear witness to, to honor, to give a squeeze to before sending it along.  They are not necessarily lasting truths.  But, they can serve to shape our now somewhat more authentically.

The trick is to know, through intuition and/or skill, how to integrate what seems disparate, depressing, lunatic.  Or, more realistically, to get over the discomfort that may come with dawning realizations, to strip away the judgments, and go with it, after it, through it, with some verve.

I am lucky, because I do feel the spark of energy, I am enlivened by my emotions.  It's not blue that I feel, but the orange-turning-to-red of the fire that has been lit under my ass.

Peace and fiery love.

Autumn equinox

I took a wrong turn awhile back and have charged along a path that has led me to the edge of a cliff.  Snapping at Sag helped me see this clearly.  I described how I felt to him thusly:

"...it's like I'm at the edge of a cliff feeling nervous and uncomfortable and the slightest breeze makes me freak out..."

There is a part of me, my personality, that hates the idea of retreat...of going back...retracing steps.  I'm an Aquarian, which is all about leaping forward, airiness...there is something so earthbound about grounding.

And yet, grounding feels awfully good to me.  Probably because it is not in my nature to be grounded and so I often find myself imbalanced in the other direction.  Or I/my body attempt/s to ground my/itself in inappropriate (and ultimately unhealthy) ways...like overeating and doing stuff while sitting on my ass.

It's my mind that needs grounding, really.

And when it happens, the coming together of mind and body, it feels damn good.

I watched this Louis CK tidbit this week and, boy, did it resonate.

Then I read this piece by Melicious, the author of Well Fed, and girl, did it resonate.

And then, I read this (not-a-hot-mess-but-a-warm-one-which-she-admits) piece over at Momastery, and thought...yoga...hmm.

So, I am giving yoga a go for the first time in many years, tonight, with Donna, who is a big fan of the yoga studio she goes too.  Afterward, I will nibble on gnocchi, which I have been craving (on and off for months).  And, tomorrow, tomorrow I turn my back to the edge of this particular cliff and start retracing my steps...towards balance, towards paths I know I have felt healthier and happier treading upon.

It seems fitting to experience some transformation on the Autumn Equinox.

Peace and love and happy Fall.

More from the kitchen

I felt so crappy when I woke up that I am surprised I am feeling so much better now.  The kids are both better than they were yesterday, though they are still resting, for the most part.

I have been trying to cook down about a dozen bananas.  I spaced and bought more when we already had some.  A couple went into the banana bread, a few have gone into the freezer, and this morning I used a couple to make vegan, gluten-free banana pancakes from Blissful Bites.

It was not a triumphant return to making pancakes.  The above was the best looking one I could muster and the pat of Kerrygold is hiding a hole.  I really liked how crispy the pancake was all around the edges and on the outside.  This pancake had a decidedly rice-y feel and taste to it and leans savory unless doused with maple syrup.

Pancakes are one of the few things that have come along in my life that I have not been able to intuit.  And, for some reason, I become nearly enraged when I make pancakes and they fall apart, get stuck in the pan, have a wet, raw spot in the center, etc.  The language of pancakes remains, after all these years, utterly foreign to me.  And, apparently, this is a sore spot.

Gem did not care for these, Sag liked them well enough.  I was inspired enough by making these that I will pursue a grain-free pancake recipe.  Cap and I have long desired to get off the teat of Arrowhead Mills' gluten-free pancake mix.  The quest continues...

After breakfast, I moved on to peach jam and shakshouka.  They both required much stirring while bubbling.  I thinked a lot of thinks while standing at the stove.  For the first time in a long time I thought about the fact that I am not doing something for a community beyond my family.  Nothing that feels significant, anyway.

Here is the shakshouka in its reduced beauty.  (All the veg from our CSA: garlic, onion, bell peppers, tomatoes!)  I will have some for dinner, poaching a couple of eggs right into a pan of sauce.  Yum.

Finally, here are the Japanese-style pickled salad turnips.  These are salty and fresh.  Love the bits of green young leaves.

Peace.

Lots of kitchen time

Both kids now have colds.  I can feel my body fighting the cold off big time, especially at the beginning and end of the day.  In the meantime, I am cooking, cooking, cooking.  (And wondering how I would hold everything together if I had to work outside the home, too.  As it is, I can barely do more than superficial cleaning.  The apartment is feeling a bit feral these days.)

Yesterday, I tried a new-to-me banana bread recipe.  It is much softer than the usual recipe.  Sag prefers it, Gem does not.

I came across a recipe for blueberry buckle at the same site (I follow her blog, she posts a ton of recipes that are kid-friendly, simple and comforting) and felt a thrill.  I'd only recently learned about buckles and find them appealing.  Cap and Sag and I like this.  Gem has not tried it yet.  I used partially thawed frozen blueberries (local and organic acquired through our CSA at the start of the summer) and there was the expected leaking of purple liquid, but it was not as bad as I thought it might be.  The cake-y parts are, for the most part, a pleasant tan, likely due to the use of coconut sugar which is very brown.

It brings me joy to be reminded of how close these two are.

I didn't remember the CSA email mentioning okra so I was surprised to see these beauties come out of the bags.  They were so pretty, in fact, that I wasn't absolutely sure they were okra.  I posted the pic to Facebook and had it confirmed.  Lana mentioned they were yummy dredged in cornmeal and fried.

After getting the CSA share organized (this was yesterday), I set about prepping for Taco Tuesday (which Sag is really hoping will stick).  I made a two-avocado simple guacamole: avocado mashed with garlic powder, salt, pepper and a splash of lemon juice.

It's a labor intensive set up, but is seriously worth it.  We are fans of the soft taco.  In addition to the guac, I served a new-to-me rice and beans dish (used pinto instead of black beans, added two cubes of vegetable bouillon, added half a small can of green chiles, used a few cloves of garlic instead of the shallot, and used olive oil instead of the butter), ribeye steak, lettuce from the farm, cilantro from the farm, salsa and whole fat Greek yogurt.  I melted cheddar onto Sag and my corn tortillas.  Gem opted not to have any tortillas last night.  He stuck to steak and lettuce.

Sag enjoying a big bon appétit bite!

Today I focused on some of the CSA share.  I googled around for a fried okra recipe and decided to use this one.  (I used palm shortening.)  It was straightforward and simple and the results were delicious.  Salty, so many satisfying textures, the goodness of local in-season produce.  A win, win, win.

There was kale so I whipped up one of my favorite recipes.  I didn't have orange or lemon to zest so I added a splash of orange juice to the dressing.

One of the best things to emerge from this CSA season has been getting to know green beans.  I finally figured out that it is essential to cook up green beans as soon as possible.  Snapping off the ends is tedious...so tedious, but once that's done, I just steam the beans for about seven minutes and they are good to go.  Maybe it has been a particularly good year for green beans, but, wow, they have been wonderful.  So pleasing to the eye, teeth and tongue.

I made Japanese-style pickles with the salad turnips and used David Lebovitz's recipe to pickle some radishes (photographed).  As I washed, spun dry and put away the lettuce, I felt a pang of summer's coming to an end.  Each season has its pleasures, certainly, but there is something special about having access to fresh, in-season produce that I love and will miss as the crops finish up and the fields goes to bed for winter.

Peace and love.

Chuckling

...at the chaos that accompanies seasonal transitions...because what else is there to do?

Last night Gem (who has been dealing with the most internal chaos reflective of the season) was asleep before 10 and woke up at 9.  Sag and I were asleep by 10:30 and woke up between 8 and 8:30.  We all got that message loud and clear.

I think it's going to be another quiet day here waiting out chaos and piling on the rest and nourishment.

I was dead set on making the to-my-taste pizza, so that's what I did.

I was too impatient to roast the veg before using them as toppings, so opted instead to slice the tomato and summer squash very thinly before slapping them on.  The veg, including the garlic scape used to make the pesto, were from our CSA farm.  The ricotta is from Anthony's farm and is made with milk from pastured cows.  Yum.

I have been catching up with 1000+ items in my Reader and have some things to share:

• a mediation app...I am intrigued.

• I have a ton of bananas and am looking for banana recipes.  this one looks promising.

• not only does this egg dish look gorgeous and yummy, all the veg are locally in season right now.

• stoked.  I love special characters!  can't wait to print this out and put it up.

• an amazing poem...exhilarating and excruciating, about rape.

• may make this today.  not sure how buckles have stayed off my radar, but I love them.  I have a lot of frozen, local, organic blueberries to use up.

• gaaah, had no idea what the actual definition of "photogenic" is!  love this project.

• an interesting read about an award winning collection of poetry inspired by the poet grappling with the death of his brother by suicide.

Peace and love.

GFCF pizza

It's a quiet day here.  Gem seems to be moving away from the mystery virus as a more garden variety cold settles into his system.  Sag is reluctantly going about his homeschooling responsibilities as his brother continues to take it easy.

I slept (yay!) and also seem to have a slight cold.  Cap left early to pick his Japanese charges up and host them for the day.  We don't expect to see him for dinner (or much of him at all, really) till the weekend.

I did not make it to the Y or to practicing Qigong at home, but I did make the kids oatmeal for breakfast.

After breakfast, I did some online shopping.  Without realizing it, shopping for clothes and footwear for the kids and myself has become a Fall ritual.  It feels akin to collecting and burying acorns while it also seems, upon the slightest glance of thought, to be just the opposite.

(I measured the kids' feet and their growth never ceases to astound me...size 8, people, men's 8!)

Here's a preview of the insane robe I ordered for myself.  I have been looking for a robe for years...like, five, six, seven years.  Until I spotted this one, I never saw a robe that appealed to me, or, felt worth the money I was being asked to spend.  There were aspects of this robe that drew me immediately.  I liked the color (though I am not typically a blue girl).  It looked exceedingly comfy and warm.  It was undeniably unique/vintage.

But, it took me awhile to decide to click "purchase" because...well, see for yourself...

I am fully open to the possibility that, in person, this robe will be untenable.  But, also, it may be so much awesome.

On another shopping note, I have been both impressed and suspect of the great deals I've been snagging online.  Land's End strikes a balance between feeling economical and providing a product that looks good and holds up well enough not to be offensive.  I still think of them as L.L. Bean's lesser sibling, but my esteem of Bean keeps going down with their bait and switch moves.  And if you live near a Land's End store, the ease and convenience of returns increases to bonus levels.

I found a staggering deal on eBay that confounded me so much that I decided to shut my brain off completely and go for it.  A sweater that I could only find at the full retail price of $130 (at REI and the Smartwool websites) was selling for $54 including free shipping.  New with factory (but not retail) tags.  Whut?

This morning, with some googling, I was able to reduce the cost of my order at Sierra Trading Company and get free shipping.  Their prices are discounted already, so the additional $50 reduction was super sweet.

Alright, enough with all that.  Pics to follow as things arrive.  After shopping, I headed into the kitchen to make some pizza.  The kids did not need me much and I was feeling inspired.

I used M.A.G.'s recipe.  The first order of business was to put together a batch of her High Protein flour blend.

There was flour blend left over so I pulled out my beloved labeler and stored the good stuff in the fridge.

Handling this pizza dough was moving.  It was simultaneously damp and pillowy and felt so damn good.

While the crust pre-baked I fried up some on-the-edge pancetta, pulled out a jar of marinara and the opened bag of cheddar-style Daiya.  While the pizza baked with its toppings, I cut up some cuke and grabbed the leftover cooked carrots.

Voilà.  My first GFCF pizza.  (I probably made one years and years ago, maybe in Sacramento, but honestly don't remember.)  Making this was remarkably simple and straightforward.  Sag, the gluten-eating pizza-loving kid loved this pizza.  Gem was lukewarm on the cheese.  I promised to make it with mozzarella-style Daiya next time.  Also, he tends to like the Daiya cold, after it has been melted.  We'll see if he likes this better cold, as a snack.

I was very happy.  I found the crust pleasing...it hit the sweet spot between soft and substantive.  I have some pastured ricotta from the farmer's market and would love to make a white pizza for myself with garlic and roasted zucchini.  Mmmm...

Peace and love.

Playing with food

The recent down shift in cooking has meant:

• way too much eating out (SO rough on the wallet, not to mention the waistline)

• little to no meal planning or sticking to the meal plan

• deterioration in the no-bringing-gluten-into-the-house practice

• less general/overall rhythm to the day

• more stress/anxiety due to all the above

Yet, some clarity.  When I thought about meal planning for this week, I recognized that between Gem's mystery "not feeling well" which I will be hitting head on (done waiting it out) and Cap's hosting-in-every-way-except-they-won't-be-sleeping-here of two Japanese professors (they arrived today and leave next weekend), I needed to balance out nourishment with convenience.  I must assume limited time/energy/attention for cooking.

There will be hot dogs and Alphatots.  Trying my hand at making the meat sauce from Against All Grain (Nom Nom Paleo's photos of the sauce are divine...click the link!) will wait while I serve up good ol' Amy's Family Marinara mixed with ground meat, again.  One of my goals this Fall, to test cook and taste test some grain- and/or gluten-free kid classics like pizza, mac and cheese and pancakes will also wait.

Putting the groceries away today, I noticed the pantry and freezer were bursting at the seams.  Time to declutter/cook down.  I realized they contained some good and interesting stuff.  Inspired, I made a list.  By next week's food shopping, I will devise a meal plan that utilizes most, if not all of these ingredients:

rice vermicelli

dulse flakes

nutritional yeast

beef broth

jasmine rice

kelp noodles

green chiles

sardines

anchovies

ground Mangalitsa pork

pastured turkey sausage

pastured chicken livers

pastured ribeye steak

Peace and love.

Celebrating the beautiful now

I had an impromptu late lunch with Donna today and we got to talking.  I said something which surprised her: cooking is not in my nature.

Cooking is not in my nature.

Yup.

Cooking is something I do because I have to.  It is something I have had to do, having a child with multiple food allergies.  He was born allergic, thirteen years ago, so cooking for him/us is now old hat.  But, that has not changed the fact that my deepest desires do not ever involve cooking.

I don't begrudge it, despite having my moments of resenting the tedium of the toil.  (And it is something I have always enjoyed doing in celebratory spurts...Solstice parties, anyone?)  Luckily, what is in my nature, is having my breath taken away by the experience of beauty...something home cooking of whole foods is replete with.

I love food and find joy in celebrating even the smallest occasion for breaking bread.  The looks, the aromas, the textures, the flavors, the colors...the company, the communion, the connection...  I have learned some neat tricks, I have gained skills and my time in this earthly realm has most certainly been enriched in pleasurable ways because I have cooked and cooked and cooked.

But, it's true.  Cooking does not come naturally to me.  And times like now when life "stuff" converges and leaves me drained, it's good to acknowledge that home cooking takes time and energy for me, more than others.  I'm in a downshift right now and the imbalance is uncomfortable...but cooking will right itself again, soon, no doubt.

Peace.

Saturday snippets

A quickie as I am shifting and shifting and scattered and still a bit of a mess.

• yay for clarity and clear/ed channels through which understanding and communication can flow.  Cap asked me if I'd be interested in doing something next week which I knew would be helpful to him, but I really did not want to do.  I struggled with it for a bit, but then a light shone and the dam that burst turned out not to be holding the flood I feared.  and things sorted out fine.  I faced the internal thing I was resisting facing, which in turn was why I resisted agreeing to help him out.  and it's all good.

• a lovely and sad read.

• a funny and insightful read.

• I am determined to go here before this exhibit leaves.

• I deleted Candy Crush and Bubble Witch Saga from my phone.  that this is worth mentioning is...I don't know...what my life had become, I suppose.

Peace and love.

Stick a fork in me

...'cause I am done.

I am on the brink of overwhelmed.  It's all I can do to muster calm and breath...and see the joy that lies on the edges of where I am.

Sleep, stomach, hair plucking, weather...all rolled up in a big ball of UGH.

Thistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistooshallpass.

Peace, peace and peace.

Here

I'm still here.

I apologize for the inadvertent absence from my blog space.  I had insomnia three times in the span of a week and have been recovering from that blow.  I am unable to fully accept/embrace sleep deprivation into my life as others have, with grace.

As a family, we are easing into the new home/school year.

Last night I made soft tacos for the first time and they were a smashing success.

More...soon.

Peace and love.

Baxter

Heartbroken.  Baxter, our nephew dog, died tonight.  He had undergone surgery to remove a tumor from his liver, earlier in the day.  The veterinary team believes he developed a blood clot which got into his lung and caused respiratory arrest.  They tried to save him, but death came quickly.

Rest in peace, sweet pup, I hope you weren't scared.  I will miss you so much and am so grateful to have known and loved you.

Peace and love.

Looking up, down and all around

Today's theme: things that caught my eye (and oftentimes my heart/soul).

The moon as we crossed the Bay Bridge from San Francisco to Oakland on our first night.

First morning.  Early morning jet lag did not persist.  The 3 o'clock dip did for awhile.

Gem and I took a neighborhood stroll our first morning.  He was antsy to get out of the house.  I took this shot because I loved the way the garbage cans dotted the street (garbage day).  But then Gem, who was walking uncharacteristically quite far ahead of me, crossed the street alone to get back to the house.  I hold him, his style, his pace, his path, fiercely close to my heart.

Seen on our walk.

A house near the Rose Garden.  For want of a better way to put it, they do a lot of cool stuff with rocks.

The rock people also like their newspapers.

Sag sat at this fountain in the Rose Garden for quite a bit.  He really wanted to go in it.  I think he was trying to figure out a way he could go in (without consequence) as much as he was enjoying the serenity of it all.

These numbers indicated years that donors made large contributions to the Rose Garden.  I liked the way they looked and the fabulous Bay Area light is always good for brilliant shadow-making.  Gem is an "aughts" baby.

Everyone loved this reclining chair.  I was a bit worried the kids were going to break it.  So inviting, though, could you blame them for enjoying it as kinesthetically as they could?

This was a sheer curtain in front of the stage curtain at Berkeley Rep, made for the play we saw.  It was hauntingly beautiful.

Leo in alert mode in the backyard.

Blue wagon in Mary and Nate's front yard in Berkeley.

Two pensive kids.

Three turquoise trucks seen from the walking path on the Oakland Estuary.

Three versions of Barbra.

Audrey and Leo starring in a post-apocalyptic universe.

Mystery (I take all blame, I did not note the artist or name of work) public art in Oakland.

Gem shooting footage for his vacation vlog.  Outside the Exploratorium in San Francisco.  The light, the light.  So fantastic and breathtaking.

This kid.  He spends so much of his time super comfortable...or super uncomfortable.  This is a good example of the former.  A sunny reverie by the bay while we waited for our friends.

Gem was reminded of reclining (ancient) Egyptian royalty when he spotted this chaise lounge outside the restrooms in the Exploratorium.  He lay right down for a reenactment.

Malachi may have been pondering fish here.  He loves them.

American River.

Dusk in Sacramento, evening breeze cooling the land down.

Night play.

A sweet little owl that reminded me of my grandmother who loved them.

Laundry day.  Sacramento has ideal line drying weather.  Jealous.

Reading the funnies.

This was a display at the train museum in Sacramento.  The telephone operator's lunch remains!  I adored the pewter salt shaker and eggshell pieces.

From an exhibit of produce crate labels at the train museum.

Stained glass train window at the train museum.

Light fixtures in the Tower movie theater, Sacramento.

Erika and Charlie.  A huge and palpable sigh of relief as Charlie turned a corner and started healing the day before we left.

My favorite of Malachi's displayed paintings.

Cap and Sag under the eucalyptus trees, Berkeley.

Leo snuggling.

Sag in contemplation.  The super comfy being in the super comfy chair.

Mary's birthday pot de crème with whole wheat hazelnut shortbread at Zut! in Berkeley.

This is a cool underpass mural in Oakland that says "eRACISM".

Noticed his body filling the space differently.  I may have a shot of him on their steps when he was wee.

Alameda view before stepping into the restaurant for dinner.

Peace and love.