Family-izing

Dudes, we made it out at 7:20 am Wednesday morning!  I felt quite accomplished.  We had a lovely holiday, the Cape is so quiet this time of year.  We slept well and late both mornings.  Posting a few pics before I fall into bed.  I am bushed.  Tomorrow we head into the city to see my side of the family for the annual taking of the holiday photo.  All this family time is nice.  I am feeling very grateful.

shooting himself swinging.

ocean love.

cool as a New England born Capricorn Finn.

Jamie love.

Mummu's table.

late lunch with Evie and Pops.

Day before

image pulled from web.

Leaving for the Commonwealth in the morning.  Our goal is a 7am departure.  (Insert snorts here.)  We can always try!

I've food shopped and begun packing.  The kids and I chose some games to bring (Labyrinth and Othello.)  I've organized birthday gifts and cards.

Oh, and I've looked into our visit here.  (Insert sighs here.)  We're going to Japan in February and this place is very high on our things we want to do.  (I'm not off track here...I may pick up the tickets at JTB when we head into the city Saturday :-)

We leave for Vinny in an hour (did I mention that last week's visit didn't happen?)  Then home for a snack before I drop the kids off for their last 2D Animation class (they loved it and are planning on signing up for the winter session) and run up to Donna's for the last CSA pick-up.

Then dinner and prepping the road trip food.

There's other stuff on my mind, but I can only do what I can do.  Life will still be here when we return, awaiting my attention.

Oh, but the library books, CDs and DVDs need to go back today.  Mustn't forget those...

Birthday songs

Something for every one :-) Off to birthday dinner!

Sag is 9

A mess of our photos are presently inaccessible.  They're in the old computer and Cap's in the process of transferring them to an external hard drive.

Here's what I do have:

2001

2003

2004

2009

today.

Happy birthday to our Scorpio/Sagittarius.  Our intense, friendly, creative, honest, artistic, kind, expressive, sensitive, freedom-loving soul.  Unlike his brother, there was no waiting involved with this one.  He was officially announced to us on a snowy day in March, the last exhale of Winter that year, and has been utterly and distinctively present ever since.  Being the youngest in a family of oldests can't be easy.  He holds his own, though, and I have a feeling he always will.  He lives and breathes his Truth strongly, a quality most spend a lifetime cultivating.  He's already got it and I hope his flame continues to burn bright in the years to come.

And the weekend comes to a close

Pokemon cake.

Sag's "friends" party was mellow and we spent part of our time together outside which was a welcome bonus (you never know when celebrating a late November baby).

He has been building Lego sets since our guests departed.  Lego came through by having someone available after 5pm on a Sunday to let us know that they will send a replacement bag #3 for the Hagrid's Hut set which had been mispacked with a duplicate bag #2.  (It's gonna be awhile as the replacement bricks will be coming from Denmark...which is kind of cool :-)

I had a tiny little pity party wishing that we had the same options as non-allergenic families so that I could order a pizza for dinner.  But, my kids have never known the pleasures of a weekend-ending pie and were happy to 'order' from the fridge/pantry selections I outlined, so I've gotten over it.

Cap's watching the Pats, Gem's finishing the party bowl of potato chips, Amazing Race and Next Iron Chef later, and once I have the tv all to myself, The Walking Dead :-)

I hope your weekend is ending peacefully.  Love and light to you.

Morningtime

listening to the 9th birthday playlist.

Morning tummies have been fed (there was Fenway cake involved).  The kitchen is just about back to baseline and the dishwasher is humming along.  Gem is darting in and out of rooms scavenging to a hunt of Sag's design.  Cap is doing environmental and electronic cleaning and reorganizing, poised to shower the kids, and will be creating cake #2 for this afternoon's festivities.

I will attempt to sneak out to do some last minute (the most popular kind when one is ADDish) natal-celebratory shopping.

Have a lovely day-before-Sag's-birthday ♥

Let us eat cake

I love the cake Cap made for Sag's family birthday party today.  It's Fenway Park!

Cap is snoozing on the couch, I am exhausted.  The kids are hanging out in bed chatting Pokemon.

It was a buzzy sort of day getting ready for company and celebration.  Tomorrow is the "friends" party and will be fairly low-key.  Two hours of potato chips, a Pokeball cake and about ten kids.

I leave you with one of the songs Sag put on his 9th birthday playlist.

Greek coffee

I like to think you never know.  And live in the moment.  And when the moment simply feels right, like it was made for this, I do things like drink my first little cup of Greek coffee, ever.  Even if it's past 8pm.

image borrowed from Bespoke by Brouhaha.

The blogger from who I borrowed the above photo describes Greek coffee as: espresso with mud with a lot of sugar (her ratio is 1:1) that then has the hell boiled out of it.  I found it very close to hot chocolate...without the dairy.  And I thought it was yummy.

But, as I had quietly expected, I did have trouble falling asleep (and no, I didn't get the bathroom cleaned, I watched The Office and Community instead).  I was dog tired, but my eyes were doing this intense weird thing where they were drooping but I couldn't close them.  It was like each lid contained the same force...both positive? both negative?...and were doing the opposite of magnetic thing.

What I hadn't expected was waking up about five hours after falling asleep, seconds before the alarm, as I was bawling in a dream just having seen the horrorific sight of someone who had hung himself.  When I say horrorific, I mean as in the genre of horror movies.  Or in this case, tv.  I've been watching The Walking Dead and this corpse looked like a zombie.

Off to make meatballs.  (Have I mentioned Sag requested a "meat party" for tonight's family gathering?)  And today I really do have to clean the bathroom.

Keeping it simple

One thing at a time.  Go with the flow.  Etcetera.

Besides the usual (feeding the kids and keeping them on some sort of track with their learning activities), I basically got one task done today.  (Cleaning up the computer/my desk.) 

There was a frenzy around 4pm.  I made Carrot-Tofu Scramble for Gem to bring to Donna's, I took a shower (ahhh), Cap and I made a food shopping list for the two celebrations happening here this weekend, and I scootched the kids to get ready to leave the house.

Donna took the kids for a few hours.  Cap and I headed out to run errands which took over two hours.  'Tis the season. 

It starts with Sag's birthday which is immediately followed by Thanksgiving (which means time split between Massachusetts and New York kin...and the celebration of two grandparent birthdays.)  Then comes NRC (National Reading Conference) which pulls Cap away for a week.  Then comes our anniversary, right during finals.  Then Christmas, again with splitting time amongst the kinfolk, which coincides with getting grades in.  By the time New Year's Eve arrives we are noodles.

So, yeah, driving around making stops here and there for over two hours on a Friday evening...marks the start of this crazy season.

There was some lovely.  (And you know how much I dig the lovely.)  Despite the cooking and cleaning tasks between then and tomorrow's family celebration, Cap and I hit pause and had some connecting time.  And though the slow service at Greek Delights was kind of excruciating in moments (picking the kids up at 8:30 became picking them up at 9:15), I was able to relax.  And I really appreciated that we took some time out for ourselves.

Because it is starting, the annual seasonal cyclone.

 image pulled from web.

P.S.  Enjoyed some Greek coffee with dinner and it has powered me through vacuuming.  I am now off to clean the bathroom.  At 11pm!

Open season

Listening to Lucy Wainwright-Roche's eponymously titled first full-length CD.  Which I bought because I didn't want to lose any of the tones of her lovely voice to audio compression.  If she sold LPs I probably would have seriously considered buying those.

The words of this song, Open Season, caught my ear. 

(Setting this old-feeling shell of a body to "thrust" as I clean and clean and cook and clean and prepare for Sag's birthday celebrations this weekend.  He seems to be on the other side of the virus this morning.  Phew :-)

 image from Life.

open season

open season on a broken heart
this is the year they take the summer apart
there is a magic to the carnival arts and i can hear the sound


is it the wind through the wonder wheel
is it the science of the way we feel
is it the silence of that old appeal will you be mine again?


my love, my love, are you on a winter beach tonight
waiting on a last chance rocket ride over the boardwalk
follow the noise no one but me and the neighborhood boys
will remember where we were when this went down

the ocean calls us like we've never been
one hundred games that we will never win
close your eyes and hear the teacups spin as it begins to snow


and if you're careful that's not all you'll hear
the mermaids watch us steal a souvenir
and whisper moral warnings in our ears as we are heading home


my love, my love, are you on a winter beach tonight
waiting on a last chance rocket ride over the boardwalk
follow the noise no one but me and the neighborhood boys
will remember where we were when this went down

so take a deeper breath let's hear you sing
and reach your hand out for an iron ring
you'll get another chance oh that's the thing we will be back again


cause summer comes around on any clock
a wash with bathing suits and polka dots
we'll ride the subways to their final stops to see the sea again

Thankful

My poor second born was having a terrible coughing fit.  He's been sick since Saturday.  A cold with a fever.  It's been more of a drag than anything intense, but the tail end of this virus has had a certain bite.  He coughed quite a bit last night (with a hopefully final fever spike of 102+º) and a lot this morning.  Then nothing until about half an hour ago when the coughing came back with a vengeance.

As I half-carried and dragged him to the bathroom because I thought he might throw up from the force of his coughs, my mind was grabbing for a solution.  Partly because I'm his mom, but also partly because I am so sensitive to this kind of dramatic disturbance (he was crying and yelling), fight or flight kicks in and I just want it to be over.

If Cap and the car had been here, I would have no doubt sent him to CVS for some cough syrup.

But, he and it were not home.  As I calmed Sag down, I calmed down.  I gave him some honey.  I spritzed some Rescue Remedy on his tongue (Gem helped by calmly calling from another room that it tasted kind of sour but wasn't too bad).

Then I remembered the essential oils and dug them out.  I bought these maybe six months ago and have had them stashed away.  Waiting for a time when I could watch the dvd that came with the order, ahem.  I chose the bottle that said "Peace and Calming".  Poured some drops of olive oil onto my palm, a couple of drops of the P&C and rubbed my palms together warming the potion right up.

I held my palms close to his face and Sag breathed and breathed.  Gem remarked that it smelled really good so I gave him some sniffs too.  ('That stuff's powerful close up!' he said.)  Sag asked for some more.  Finally, I rubbed what was left onto his chest and belly.  Sag said it smelled like tangerines.

Sag has a good olfactory palate.  The ingredients were: tangerine (Citrus nobilis), orange (Citrus aurantium), ylang ylang (Cananga odorata), patchouli (Pogostemon cablin) and blue tansy (Tanacetum annuum).  I wasn't getting the tangerine at all until he mentioned it.  I was overwhelmed by the ylang ylang and patchouli...neither of which I like. 

I am a big fan of aromatherapy.  I have a sensitive nose and my mood can shift dramatically via my sense of smell.  I am so thankful that my kids appreciate aromatherapy and are reaping its benefits from a young age.  Sag's cough has dissipated.  He's worn out, but...peaceful and calm.

Good night.

In a bowl

The need for liver has passed.

Digging around the CSA bag last night before making dinner I came upon a bunch of baby bok choy.

My mental note was still at the top of the pile this morning so when I had the shallot (from the farm) and onion (from the farm) sautéeing and was deliberating about what else the package of gourmet mushrooms needed, I remembered the bok choy.

A flash of inspiration had me tossing in a handful of walnuts as the veggies cooked down in the vessel of iron (that mental note was close enough to the top of the pile to be remembered, as well.)

I almost put the carton of eggs away, but at the last minute, decided to fry an egg to complete the bowl.

Everything went atop a bit of white rice leftover from last night.  (There is often hot rice at the ready thanks to the trusty rice cooker.)

Seasoning?  Salt and pepper.  Oil?  Safflower.  Morning rice bowl?  Yum.

Down by the water

They sound like The Jayhawks in the very best way.  Really digging this one lately.

What's new in books

Reading right now:

There's a cotton candy-like quality to reading this: delicate airy strands whipped into a cloud full of sweet promise...once it hits your tongue, the taste is so its own and it lingers even as it melts in an instant.  She is so smart and has an incredibly light touch with words which delivers layered meaning so clearly.

But...there is truly a vein of tragedy which runs through the stories being told here.  As much as I feel I could zip through this book, I have been glad for the natural breaks which have occurred during the course of my reading because...the relief which comes with putting the book down is palpable.

What I read last week:

This was a super quick read.  I'm not sure what I was expecting, but this book was 'lighter' than I thought it was going to be.  I enjoyed the firsthand perspective the author had on the state of medical practice in the U.S. and how it has changed, for the worse, in the last few decades.

Mid-week mumble

image pulled from web.

When I woke yesterday from what felt like the force of anxiety, the first thing I thought was that I still hadn't gotten us to the post office to have our passport applications processed.  We are traveling to Japan in February and the kids' and my passports have all expired.

For anyone who needs passport photos, if you are a member of AAA they will take photos for you for free or some minimal fee.  Someone at the post office told me that.  My satisfaction that we'd bettered the post office photo fee of $15.99 per with the CVS rate of $9.99 per was short-lived.

The good news is that it's all done.

I spent the afternoon in the kitchen.  

I made vegetable soup.  I sautéed onion and garlic from the farm with some ginger.  Mmm.  So aromatic.  I added carrots and salad turnips and spinach from the farm.  Poured in a carton of No Chicken Broth and crumbled in a tab of veggie bouillon.  Gem remarked that it smelled good, out in the front room...a soft implosion of warm joy infused my insides :-)

I noticed the bananas were very ripe and decided to make a banana bread.  It had been awhile.  Banana bread also smells so good when it's baking!  The kids declined the walnuts and none of us was feeling the call of chocolate chips.  A plain banana bread it is.

The wind blows and blows outside, it's dark at 5:15pm...  Betty Carter croons and swings on my iTunes.  Sag's virus is holding on, I have teetered into maybe having a cold.

Love and light to you.

All your worth

I started reading another book I've had in the library basket for awhile.  All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter Amelia Warren Tyagi.  Elizabeth Warren made a strong and positive impression on me when I saw her on Real Time with Bill Maher about a year ago.  This book came to my attention, I believe, through the blog Get Rich Slowly.

It's a very hands-on book.  I appreciate the opportunity to approach these numbers and figures that plague me from a different angle.  After about an hour of reading and filling out worksheets and doing some calculating:

• the target amount (monthly) to cut from 'Must-Haves' spending: $1,523

• need to shop around for renters, life and disability insurance

• need to ascertain when we can get out of our cell phone contract and switch to pre-pay

• need to see if we can get a discount on our last remaining student loan bill

• need to look into FSA/HSA

• need to lop off a total of $1,500 per month...wow.  this enters putting the kids in school and my getting a job territory...

Old-time comics

timeless.

I've had this collection of Doug Wright's comics beside the library basket for a couple of weeks now (it's too big to fit in the basket).  I made some time to begin reading it today and the kids were drawn to it like moths to a flame.  Good stuff.

Embrace your differences and transform your life

I took some time and read some of Sari Solden's Women With Attention Deficit Disorder (subtitle used to title this post).  It's both comforting and scary how strongly some of the stuff resonates (comforting) and how clearly I see my own reflection in what I am reading (scary).

I took a self-assessment.  Of 84 items, I checked off 57.  There were three areas of assessment (out of 9) where I clearly had little to no issues: Staying Alert/Energy Levels/Activity Level, Ideas/Synthesizing, and History (only 8 items out of 25 checked off in these sections).

Which means that in the other 9 sections, there were 59 items and I checked off 49 of them.

I have an appointment with my family doctor at the start of the new year.  I think I have something to add to the list of things to talk to her about.

image courtesy of Pablo Picasso, pulled off the web.

Gray

 image pulled from web.

I woke up feeling anxious and overwhelmed.  It wasn't an all-out panic attack, but there was a distinct physiological 'fluttering' around my heart.  (This has been awhile coming.)

I've been having a hard time with focus and attention and energy and peacefulness.

I can hear wet leaves and pavement...the weather's not going to be much help today...

Fall, we have a month to turn you around somehow, let's add water and mold us into something with more balance, flow and structural integrity.

Glow

The big old maple tree out front has burst into YELLOW.  It's a cloudy matte sort of day and the kids and I have been bathed in a golden glow.

All four of us are in various stages of sick.  I like to think I am still in "fighting it" mode, but the others have had fevers, aches and pains.

I did notice yesterday evening that I appeared green in the bathroom mirror.  My quest for chopped liver this morning was successful.  I tossed a 1/4 lb. of liverwurst into my shopping bag for good measure.  Wendy mentioned cooking in cast iron, which I will give a go, too.

We have two birthday celebrations for Sag coming up this weekend.  I need to gather my strength.

I am seeing Vinny tomorrow for the first time in three months.  I'm not saying another word.  Don't want to jinx anything.

Here's the song I always think of when I think of "glow".  Peace and love.

Sweet potato pie

When I flipped through the Fall section of Clean Food last week, a few recipes caught my immediate eye.  One was for sweet potato pie and can be found here.

I decided to make some to bring to the woods yesterday.  I didn't consider color when I made the pie with the varieties of sweet potato I had on hand from the farm.  The color of the finished pie was...unfortunate.

looked greener in real life.

But, I can pass along this recipe with utter conviction.  The pie was delicious.  I loved the pecan-maple crust.  This pie was milk-free, egg-free, white sugar-free, soy-free and 100% scrumptious.

I couldn't find agar powder so did some research and subbed in some gelatin 1:1 (if you were to use agar it would make the recipe vegan, as intended).  I also subbed corn starch for the arrowroot because I didn't have any arrowroot on hand.

Woodsy reverie

Teenage dream

Glee is a show with ups and downs.  This week's episode had some really strong and wonderful moments.  I'm surprised Fox is allowing this clip to be embedded.  Enjoy, especially all you fellow Kurt fans :-)

From ugh to yum

I can barely type I am so full of hormonal rage.

In lieu of that, I leave you with good food and links to recipes.

apple-butternut squash soup.

quinoa and sweet potato salad.

Petition

Go sign if you want to let the President know you disagree with his decision to follow through on Bush's proposed tax cuts for millionaires.

Addendum

I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me to do this before, but the songs in the playlist are now linked to video/audio clips on YouTube.  Gotta love YouTube...

Promised playlist

This is the playlist which is comprised mostly of tunes that friends shared with me when I asked them to tell me a song that made them happy.  I was making a transition to practicing Dragon's Way and wanted some inspiration to help get me through the challenging pass.  It's long and I've been tinkering with it.  But, it is not destined to fit on one CD, that is clear now.  (The ordering of songs is random.  Artful ordering of a collection of songs...now that is a skill I wish I had...)

Enjoy.

Hey Ya!    Outkast    The Love Below
Starting    matt pond PA    The Dark Leaves  
Her Morning Elegance    Oren Lavie    The Opposite Side of the Sea  
Say Hey (I Love You)    Michael Franti & Spearhead [feat. Cherine Anderson]    All Rebel Rockers      
The Prayer (Chanting Inner Peace)    Ketsana
Uprising    Muse    The Resistance 
Midnight In Ethiopia   Rico    Roots to the Bone
A Night Like This    Caro Emerald    A Night Like This  
Intergalactic    Beastie Boys    Hello Nasty
Singular Girl    Rhett Miller    The Believer  
I'm Every Woman    Chaka Khan    Rhino Hi-Five: Chaka Khan - EP 
Singin' In the Rain (Version With Cue from "Good Night, Kathy")    Gene Kelly    Singin' In the Rain   
Back In Black    AC/DC    Back In Black       
Boogie Shoes    KC & The Sunshine Band    KC & the Sunshine Band 
Soak Up the Sun    Sheryl Crow    C'Mon C'Mon
Smoke Signals    Emancipator    Soon It Will Be Cold Enough
Don't Stop    Fleetwood Mac    Rumours
By Your Side    Beachwood Sparks    Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World 
Joyful Sign    Girlyman    Joyful Sign 
I'll Be There for You    Bon Jovi    This Left Feels Right  
Walking On Sunshine    Katrina & The Waves    Walking On Sunshine - Single
Rebel Yell    Billy Idol    Billy Idol: Greatest Hits 
Pokémon Theme (Season 1 Theme)    Jason Paige    Pokémon X 
Lemonworld    The National    High Violet   
Island In the Sun    Weezer    Weezer (Green Album) 
Unwritten    Natasha Bedingfield    Unwritten (Bonus Track Version) 
Hey Now Now    The Cloud Room    The Cloud Room  
Roll Up Your Sleeves   We Were Promised Jetpacks    These Four Walls 
Someday I Suppose    The Mighty Mighty Bosstones    Don't Know How to Party
A Minha Menina    Os Mutantes    Os Mutantes

Wholeheartedness

Loving thanks to Cianna who shared this Ted talk on Facebook.  It's wry, thought provoking and wonderful.

Picture this

Headed back out after depositing convalescing son and his scooter at home.

Wondered if it would still be light out on my return.  Doubted it.

Stopped to smell an autumn rose from a bush that feels new to me every time.  This particular aromatherapy incongruous when cheeks are pinched with cold.

Felt the familiar and unfortunate nervousness upon seeing a lone male figure approaching from a distance.  The first soul I was seeing this gloaming.

Delighted to get across the busy street during a perfectly timed lull.

Walked past a tyke bottom planted firmly on the path.  Walked past his mom who glanced up from her phone long enough to say "bye bye" in a bored though not uncaring voice.

Gazed at the clouds edged in gold and pink and gray.

Distracted by the pack of boys in football gear harassing the Canadian geese with shrieking lunges of power-infused joy.

Awed by the shiny white opalescent crescent moon glowing more profoundly with every exhale.

Scanned the treetops with an eager eye where the flight of the large long-legged bird appeared to end.

Cried out as I spotted the egret/heron atop a pine tree.  My word.  How lucky.  My face couldn't contain my smile, my body couldn't contain my joy.  Received Mother Nature's holy communion with giddy gratitude.

Tickled by the techno beat of a new favorite song a new song discovered today.

Joined by joggers as my steps took me home.  Color suddenly dropped out of the picture.  Newly naked branches seasonal inky silhouettes.

Lit from within a neighbor girl cocooned in her enclosed front porch.

Soothed by the sweet sad snare-drum strains of a new favorite song a new song discovered today.

Completed by my walk as the day darkened.  Good medicine for a melancholic with attentional issues.

Pocket of inspiration

Time change dissonance.  Anyone else feeling it?  I wake up and feel like an animal.  The urge is towards sleep.

I pinged right into a really bad mood.  Luckily, my kids were forgiving.  And my partner, graceful under pressure.

In between homemade protein-y fortification (scrambled eggs with arugula-walnut pesto for breakfast; a Bistro burger topped with mayo and pesto for lunch...and toast and more toast, total pre-hibernation food) I met Silke at Terra for some Raspberry Earl tea.

Take that PMS-y mood swing.

I read this post today, part of a series that the author/poet is writing about the more practical aspects of the craft of writing.  I found it inspirational and loved the Sarah Vaughn tune they mentioned (embedding disabled).

Also inspiring, I received a personal e-mail from Lui Collins telling me my CD is on its way.  (Well, it could have been written by an assistant, I suppose...)  Anyway, I wrote back sharing why I happened to be ordering that particular CD at this time.

I love lucy

I recently signed up to receive NPR's Song of the Day in my virtual inbox.

A couple of weeks ago, in came Lucy Wainwright Roche.  Her voice, noted for its clarity, charmed me enough that I bought the song, October, from iTunes.  (It didn't hurt at all that the song features the Indigo Girls.)

I listened to the song again this evening and fell hard.  Once I saw that her CDs weren't available through my library system (which is part of a vast network of libraries), I fretted.  Her voice is so lovely that I wanted the recordings non-compressed (not as MP3s).  But, I couldn't quite justify dropping the cash for her new CD and two previous EPs all at once.

But, I was smitten.  Enthralled.  I wanted them all.

I asked Cap what he would do, and he said buy one (ever reasonable, grounded, conservative).

So, I went back to her website to buy one and when I was redirected to Paypal to make payment, there I saw 40+ bucks sitting there, what remained from my last few Waldorf book sales (most of that money had already gone back to the family checking account in dribs and drabs).

Game changer :-)

I ordered the CD and both EPs.

Check her out here and here and here, I'm in love.

P.S.  It hit me a few minutes ago that Lucy's voice is reminiscent of my long ago love, Lui Collins.

P.P.S.  Yes, Lucy comes from a family of singer-songwriters...her mom is Suzzy Roche and her dad is Loudon Wainwright III...her half-brother is Rufus Wainwright.

Girl talk

Got a note that Girl Talk is coming to The Wellmont.  I went to YouTube and found this fun fan-made video.  Enjoy!

Five miracles

Five Miracles

by Thylias Moss

                    1.

We were cutting corn from cobs,

separating pied kernels

into red piles, yellow, black.

We weren’t told to do this.

We took it upon ourselves

to make distinctions,

showing off our mother wit:

red into bowls,

yellow into jars with dated labels,

black into the scuttle

by the stove.

                      2.

Lutie Watson swallowed a snake

when she drank at the creek

that lynchers sank Jo-jo’s stone-filled

body last year;

that snake must have been   

his soul transformed

because now she’s pregnant again,

way past the age of possibility.

                      3.

Went to a gypsy.

Gypsy had never seen a lifeline so long.

Stretches from my thumb to my shoulder.

                      4.

He may be a buck-toothed

ugly dude

but he ain’t a sawed-off runt.

Shoulders so broad

looks like his head

sits on a boxcar.

I go walking with him

through them I-talian sections,

them Polish and what-have-you sections,

people damn near bow.

His T-shirt (special made) says:

Home-grown in Darkest Africa.

                      5.

What’s a nice colored girl like you

doing in New England?

Thinking about changing my reputation.

Filling

Repleting after depleting.  Tonight a veggie burger on half an Udi's bagel with mayo and arugula pesto with a side of carrot fries.

My mind is wandering from eating Dragon's Way.  This time of year it's hard for me to be all veg all the time.  My need for non-veg carbs and starches is steadfast.  (I am pleasantly surprised that my need for protein has been sated with egg whites and tofu.)

I am also distracted by the CSA veggies which are not being used.

And by the nuisance of a) being a short order cook at breakfast and lunch to meet the variety of desires/needs; b) cooking two separate dinners on the nights I cook/cooking my own dinner on the nights Cap cooks; and c) making food either for Dragon's Way or to use up CSA stuff that no one else likes/will eat.

The kids love what I make for them and are very enthusiastic in their gratitude.  So, I don't mind making food for them that they like (it just takes time and attention and sometimes I stress to try to streamline the process).  

But, I am feeling a sense of...something missing.  I rarely get to experience the deep joy of making food that I find interesting and nourishing and sharing that with others in my household...and having others share their joy in partaking, with me.  (I do have this pleasure once a month when we host common meal.)

(I want this so much that sometimes I blind myself to the reality that I simply don't have this in my life right now and try to force it...I internalize the belief that if I just try harder, I can make this transpire.)

I bought a book called Clean Food awhile back that I haven't cracked open to use yet.  I'm thinking about checking it out for recipes.  It would be nice to take a break from culling new recipes (adaptable to Dragon's Way or being GFCF) from the many food blogs I read.  Having not only one source, but a source which is hard cover copy.  Books are good.

Deep sigh

Read a beautiful graphic novel.  I loved the illustrations and the tonal qualities of both the narrative and the story.

Also read The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest, finishing the 'The Girl' trilogy.  I liked it the best of the three.  It was a lovely and bittersweet end.  (The author died shortly after handing in the manuscripts for the three novels.)

Falling back

The NYT featured six poems themed around the time change.  Two were by poets I like a lot: Louise Glück and Mary Oliver.  Enjoy.

Parable
 
First divesting ourselves of worldly goods, as St. Francis teaches,
in order that our souls not be distracted
by gain and loss, and in order also
that our bodies be free to move
easily at the mountain passes, we had then to discuss
whither or where we might travel, with the second question being
should we have a purpose, against which
many of us argued fiercely that such purpose
corresponded to worldly goods, meaning a limitation or constriction,
whereas others said it was by this word we were consecrated
pilgrims rather than wanderers: in our minds, the word translated as
a dream, a something-sought, so that by concentrating we might see it
glimmering among the stones, and not
pass blindly by; each
further issue we debated equally fully, the arguments going back and forth,
so that we grew, some said, less flexible and more resigned,
like soldiers in a useless war. And snow fell upon us, and wind blew,
which in time abated — where the snow had been, many flowers appeared,
and where the stars had shone, the sun rose over the tree line
so that we had shadows again; many times this happened.
Also rain, also flooding sometimes, also avalanches, in which
some of us were lost, and periodically we would seem
to have achieved an agreement; our canteens
hoisted upon our shoulders, but always that moment passed, so
(after many years) we were still at that first stage, still
preparing to begin a journey, but we were changed nevertheless;
we could see this in one another; we had changed although
we never moved, and one said, ah, behold how we have aged, traveling
from day to night only, neither forward nor sideward, and this seemed
in a strange way miraculous. And those who believed we should have a purpose
believed this was the purpose, and those who felt we must remain free
in order to encounter truth, felt it had been revealed.
 
— LOUISE GLÜCK


Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness
 
Every year we have been
witness to it: how the
world descends
into a rich mash, in order that
it may resume.
And therefore
who would cry out
to the petals on the ground
to stay,
knowing, as we must,
how the vivacity of what was is married
to the vitality of what will be?
I don’t say
it’s easy, but
what else will do
if the love one claims to have for the world
be true?
So let us go on
though the sun be swinging east,
and the ponds be cold and black,
and the sweets of the year be doomed.

— MARY OLIVER

Cool video

"Production company Everynone created a terrific video poem linking words and images together in a lovely flow. Directed by Daniel Mercadante and Will Hoffman, it's a collaboration with Radio Lab and NPR. Also, watch their remix of it, using YouTube clips, at the Everynone site."


WORDS from Everynone on Vimeo.

Past noon

Listening to Phil Schaap while making apple sauce for my sick one and tater tots for my other.  A quiet day.

Sweating

I took this picture at the gallery the other night because I thought Sag would appreciate it.  He almost came with us to art opening.  I think he was strongly curious to experience such a thing, one artist to another.

I share it now to try to add a lightness to how I'm feeling, which is pretty low.  Between the news of Ely's death, Yifat becoming very sick days later, and an emotional portal being opened at the concert, all last week, I guess it makes sense that my body chose this weekend to expel and expel.

The result is that I was completely depleted yesterday, in every way.  I was in bed all day and then to top it all off, I started PMSing.

I haven't felt this bad in awhile.  Or at least, I don't think I have.  My mind was really scattered last week and this week it feels like sand in a sieve.

Something in the fold

My stomach has been sensitive this Dragon's Way.  Information having a clearer path of transmission?  Maybe.

Two dinners out, one a bit off the prescribed eating suggestion, the other one not at all off of it, and something in the fold of my GI system is communicating...forcefully.

I've spent the morning in bed with The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest and am about to see how my body fares with some rice and Donna's vegan butternut squash soup.

Last night Cap and I went to a gallery in Newark to see my friend Edie and her painting.  I enjoyed experiencing some local grassroots culture.

celebratory purple tulips.

Addendum

I connected to the Indigo Girls page on Facebook last night.  They post photos of their set lists which is very handy :-)

I now know that they opened with Devotion, a new-to-me song.

I also discovered from fan comments that it was a rare occurrence for Amy to sing Romeo and Juliet.  It was a highlight (in a show with so many), but I've actually seen her perform it before so I didn't realize how special it was for much of the rest of the crowd.

I was laughing to myself during the song because I had forgotten that their Romeo and Juliet was Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet.  It had unconsciously become a different song in my mind.  So when she started singing, I thought, oh nice, she's covering Dire Straits...I wonder why she's not doing her own Romeo and Juliet song?  Interesting cognitive dissonance was experienced for a few moments :-)

Also discovered this morning that their keyboardist's name is Julie Wolf, not Jennifer, as I wrote last night.

Eyes baggy, voice husky-hoarse, soul still aglow.  Must extricate self and insert back into the part of life which includes getting the children to swimming at 11.

Color me indigo

Went to see the Indigo Girls with sister-in-law Lisa tonight.  I felt so lucky and blessed.  They were as amazing and revelatory tonight as they were the first time I saw them at Great Woods oh so long ago.

It is so nourishing to see live music...and to be bathed by the kind of ecstatic love and devotion found at an Indigo Girls concert...there's nothing quite like it.

Bonus joy: the folks sitting in front of us were a family of four who had come out because the six-ish year old daughter loves the Indigo Girls :-)

When they played this song tonight, I was flooded with emotion thinking about my baby boy who has been struggling so much this Fall.  It can be lonely and scary parenting a child through tough times and the song resonated deeply, helping me release some of the sadness that I have been holding in.

"So we're okay, we're fine,
Baby I'm here to stop your crying,
Chase all the ghosts from your head,
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed,
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart,
We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart,
Adding up the total of a love that's true,
Multiply life by the power of two."



They rocked the house the hardest with one of my favorites (beloved by so many). The crowd sang the whole song top to bottom. I love when the band stops singing and lets the audience carry it for awhile.



This was a newer song that I had never heard and really loved.



I wondered if they would play my favorite song of theirs that I have yet to see performed live. They didn't. Maybe some day.



The opening song was one I didn't recognize and I have been unable to find it. I'll be doing some digging in the weeks to come.

Thanks for a great show and wonderful night Amy, Emily and Jennifer Julie!

Peace, love and harmony, y'all!

Manatee in the kitchen

I don't know if it's having an apartmentful of kids, the gray skies or more down shifting with the season, but I've spent another day in the kitchen cooking.

carrot fries.

roasted red potato, sweet potato, celeriac.

coconut brown rice.

nourishing the next generation.