Whole30 :: Day 1

I woke in a mood, felt better after playing in the kitchen, then shot back into a mood trying to figure something out with Cap on the phone (some day I would be interested in reading about communication amongst longterm couples...or...communication amongst women experiencing chemical/hormonal swings).

Doing a Whole30 is going to put me "in a mood" at least a few more times.  Please send Cap and the kids hugs.

The kids are fighting something.  They are both tired.  We have spent a lot of time indoors, which is largely my fault.  I am looking forward to this heat wave breaking so we can get out in the sun.

This one received a punishment for kicking his brother a couple of days ago.  When he can't Minecraft/YouTube, he draws.  (His brother received a punishment this morning for waking his mother up when it wasn't an emergency.  Dudes, when it comes to my sleep, it is on!)

Things are shifting with Gem entering adolescence.  There is conflict between these two in new ways.  Growing pains.  But, togetherness remains.  (Sag has taken to asking Gem to help him with his vision therapy exercises.)

Some of the yummies from our CSA share this week...pondering peach and apricot recipes that do not include sugar...the super bunch of basil became a boatload of pesto (shared with a friend, I am the only pesto lover in my family)...the lettuces, so tender and happy-making...look at that chard, how utterly gorgeous...the sweet onion and cucumbers and parsley were perfect for the creamy cucumber salad from Well Fed...

I skimmed the later chapters of It Starts With Food yesterday and am glad I did.  There were useful reminders of concrete aspects of the process (as opposed to the scientific applications/theories which I think they do a good job of summarizing in the earlier chapters), some of which have already come up on Day 1.

Eat three meals (no snacking for someone like me who is not active), think of the meals as Meal 1/Meal 2/Meal 3 to disengage from pre-conceived notions of breakfast/lunch/dinner, eat minimum servings of protein/vegetable/fats, and eat even if not feeling particularly hungry.

The above is today's lunch.  A palm-size serving of protein, the rest of the plate full of veg, with the avocado doing double duty as a fat.  (There is also avocado oil mayo in the cucumber salad.)  I was not hungry, but remembered Melissa and Dallas' words, so fixed up a plate of food right nice.

(Breakfast was a disaster.  I ate a cold, half-assed portion of Japanese-style thin sliced pork sautéed with scallion, garlic and olive oil leftover from last night...while standing and moving around the kitchen getting the kids' breakfasts...inhaling.  Melissa and Dallas talk about that, too.  Sitting down to eat, relaxing and chewing slowly...contemplating...nourishing.)

I was fascinated because though I was not feeling hungry, I had no trouble eating and enjoying my lunch.  About 90 minutes after I ate, I regretted not putting more of the cucumber salad on my plate.  I was hungry!

Baba ganoush is on deck (pondering halving the recipe or buying another eggplant...if I wait till Saturday I can buy another just like it from Farmer John) and there is a gorgeous cabbage to contemplate.

Life is good...but, of course, it's not, in many ways.  I have been feeling sad, angry, and close to hopeless after the Zimmerman verdict.  This piece and this piece have been standouts for me...have helped me process and contextualize and feel grateful for our capacities to communicate, connect and add meaning to our shared co-existence, to our spiritual collective.

I am finding that David Lebovitz's recipes/writing are a balm.  They consistently give me a lift.  Our very short local cherry season has come to a close, but this recipe for Cherry Mess caught my eye.  I am clipping it to Evernote (just created a CSA recipes folder) for consideration in 2014.

I recently started subscribing to the 101 Cookbooks feed and was rewarded this morning with an intriguing sounding combination of ingredients: coconut oil, avocado, toasted macadamia nuts and squash blossoms!  Very Paleo.

Last thing I'll leave you with is a made-for-Netflix show that is big on my radar: Orange Is The New Black.  I plan on starting it soon.

Peace and love.

Happenings

The viruses continue to stalk and stake claim.  But, we have been paying them less heed.  Interestingly, it seems to not have made much of a difference...but there is an element of "ragged" coloring itself in with more force than is pretty.

So, though I sent the kids off to swimming class, I think the rest of the day will be a quiet one.  For them.  Me, I have a date with a friend for tea.

What's been happening:

• went to Ikea with Sag and Cap to flesh out this idea we've been brewing to possibly put a loft bed in the kids' room.

• decided to go back to bunking the beds we have.  one of the things Sag loves about his bed is the mattress and we realized that mattress probably cost as much, if not more, than the loft bed frame.  it's a good quality mattress.

• something ephemeral reached out to me from the spirit of the woman working the register at Ikea and I struck up a conversation with her.  above and beyond my usual: how are you doing?  it turned out she was going to a wake after work for a co-worker who died suddenly of a heart attack.  she was 28 and left an 8 year old.  we were gripped in such a moment of truth and sadness.  I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes.  and we hugged.  it was a really interesting moment.  I think both of us behaved in ways we normally wouldn't have, but it worked and felt right and was gratifying and connected.

• our 25th college reunion is coming up.  we had a long conversation about whether we wanted to go or not last night.  I have yet to attend a college reunion.  I kind of feel like if it's going to happen, 25 is it.  I bet it would be pretty fun.  but we have a summer vacation plan percolating and I am not sure it will be in the budget to bookend the summer with not usual fiscal events.  we shall see.

• fell off the Paleo wagon.  it literally does not feel good: super itchy skin, bloating, aches and pains, brain fog, irritability.  but, man, the draw is incredible once off.  off gluten again as of today, off everything else Monday.

• not a coincidence that my interest meter ran out around the time I fell off the wagon.  made it 7 weeks before I started feeling bored with my food options and routines.  also interesting: the bits of non-Paleo food I've been eating have not been very satisfying.  last night's white pizza with fresh garlic from Whole Foods was.  that was very tasty.

• I'm getting tired of meat.

• feeling loved.  as I so often do.  I am one lucky creature.

• wearing my manatee knee-highs, which I love.  as most of us who grew up in the 70s, I wore knee socks a lot.  but once I was became a young adult, I ditched them because I was not a fan of my calves and felt knee socks accentuated the calves.  here I am decades later and I pulled on my birthday manatee socks with some trepidation because they were the dreaded length.  I LOVE them, Jamie!  they are so warm and cozy.  and, frankly, I think my calves appreciate the freaking support!  I am officially, again, old middle-aged.

•  Anna sent me some books.  the ones I was hemming and hawing about over at Amazon.  thanks, babe.  I am very happy to have the big old menopause doorstop of a book to peruse at my leisure over the next few years.  my stack grows and grows.  as Gem says, wish the could be 48 hours instead of 24.

• this has been cracking the kids and me up:

• and this woman just continues to inspire me and make me smile:

Peace and love.

Bright meadow

I don't often see meadows.  When I do, I am drawn to them.  We came upon this meadow during our walk in the woods today.  And I remembered, as I sighed into it, that my name means "from the bright/white meadow". 

I felt connected...as I always do when I am out in nature.

Eventide

After dinner, as the storm system settled overhead and I turned on the air conditioning to escape the oppressive humidity, the kids and I gathered to play some games.  Blokus and Uno.  We had a three-way tie for the first time ever in Blokus.  Uno was rousing and we blasted through a half dozen rounds with a light in our eyes and smiles on our faces.

While they nibbled on their desserts, the seasonal shelf caught my eye.  I took down the summer pieces, dusted, and put up the autumn ones.  It looks a little different every season, from one year to the next.

The picture on the card was such a timely reminder of an aspect of this season...gathering courage and strength...cultivating our inner fire in preparation for the quiet dark cold of coming winter.

The autumnal tree is one of my favorite things from Sacramento.  It just makes me happy every time I bring it out.

The beautiful (love the gorgeous orange) pumpkin was the first thing I ever needle felted.  Julia, the first friend I made in Sacramento, was my teacher, guiding me step-by-step with patience and warmth.  I miss her.

Peace.

The art of correspondence

Letters going out to a special someone this morning.  Would really like to make this happen more.

Stardust, we are

This never gets old.

Meditating wolves

A very interesting read...surreal and lovely slice of life.

Seasonal shelf side track

Things are falling into place.

For me, a primary reason to declutter is that I hope the resulting simplicity will make it easier to do what I want to do.

Ever since my Waldorf days in Sacramento, I have tried to keep a nature/seasonal table, off and on, for years.  But, I would inevitably be thwarted by my disorganization/inattention.  When we started the current living room reorg, I designated a shelf that used to hold a mess of photo frames as my/our new seasonal shelf.

Our autumn has been unseasonably warm, but the leaves are finally off most of the trees and things have turned a distinct brown outside.  With the time change a couple of weeks ago, our days are noticeably shorter.  Winter is coming...even as the temps rise above 60ºF in the daytime.

Changing the seasonal shelf has been niggling at me.  Tonight, I got sidetracked from continuing with the paper work.  I dug through my "seasonal" box.  Then, I dug through my postcard box looking for a good image to match the season as it is feeling and looking for us, right now.

Done!  (For now...this scene is calling for some "stuff" from the outdoors...)

New York Comic Con: part 1

In a word: WOW.  It was exciting, dramatic, engrossing, inspiring.  There was tons of walking and, honestly, a lot of waiting on lines.  One angel, an exceedingly mellow and good crowd (it was sold out), one douche bag.  Five-plus hours of breathing canned air, seeing no sun, living as one with a massive comic/anime/gaming loving throng.  There were a lot of smiles, some tears, special edition comics, autographs, $1 on-the-spot sketches by admired artists, not-yet-released video games, panels, swag...  One day was not enough.  The kids want to go again next year.

I am beat.  I'm going to let this pics speak for themselves.  More photos, that Gem took and were taken of Gem by Cap, to come later (we split up for parts of the day).

This and that

At the Farmer's Market.  Inspired by Daniel, Gem sampled some pickles.  He ended up getting a lemonade at The Bread Company.  Sag got a cinnamon bun (Tree-licious was sold out of cider donuts).  Daniel got a horseradish pickle on a stick.  The three of them loved the generous free samples of kielbasy, too.  It was enlightening because the kids have not liked the same kielbasy when I served it to them at home.  I wondered if it was the deliciousness of food enjoyed outdoors, but Gem pointed out that it might be that they were grilled.  So I bought some more and cooked them up on our new cast iron stovetop grill and lo and behold, they loved it.

At Theo's birthday party.  Sag had a wonder-full day.  He got to play with an electric bass (that's a bass, right?), a real bow and arrows, and a real whip.  He was in heaven.  (Thank you to cousin Kyle who made it all possible!)

Also at Theo's party.  My sister by marriage (on the right) and my sister in spirit.  These two became friends over twenty years ago and we met Jamie through Jay.  Jamie is one of Sag's godmothers and has been a big part of both boys' lives and looms large in their hearts.  I loved getting this snapshot of these old buds.  The affection just oozes.

Declutter 2011 has begun!  I am tres excited.  Cap's presence and cooperation are making the process more efficient and focused.  We'll be doing the whole apartment, room by room, an afternoon here, an afternoon there.  It's going to take awhile, but we are committed.  I am so looking forward to see how things unfold in terms of increased simplicity and cleaner air.

This evening we're having some split culture.  Sag was interested in this show and is having an evening out with Cap (my so-far-not-really-a-bad-cold kept me home).  Gem and I are home watching this:

Happy weekending to you.  Peace and love.

It was just like that

Cap and I had an arduously long discussion tonight.

It is challenging to find and make time for yourselves as a couple, for fun and for logistics, when you have kids. Being two people who bring a fairly high level of commitment to the very many things we do adds to the challenge.

It can be frustrating when the talking takes so long. You know, what with the whole lack of time thing hanging over your heads. But, these talks are necessary...they are truly part of the process of being partners and parents...of being a family.

So, we stick to it. Learn our lessons in hearing the other without feeling the need to defend our self...or lose our self. It was a calm discussion...but I was starting to feel like we weren't going to "get" anywhere (tonight, we were, for the most part, talking about homeschooling).

Then, it was just like that, there was resolution, and it came about in the most unexpected, yet satisfying way. Which is bonus.

This song is about something else, thematically, but the chorus of "it was just like that" came to mind tonight.

Glimpses of the past

Today the kids and I went to the Israel Crane House (part of the Montclair Historical Society) for a Passport to the Past home school day.  The program was wonderful.  Our guide, Jane, was a bundle of passionate and bright energy who clearly loved what she does (including interacting with inquisitive and active kids).

I think my boys were pleasantly surprised by how much they enjoyed the activities.  I was thrilled to finally be partaking of this very local treasure trove of a resource.

Sag was the first to volunteer when the presentation started.  He was "2011" in the timeline.  I get tickled watching the kids in these types of situations because they are much more open and willing to take risks than I ever was a kid/student.  The human timeline was an imaginative way for all of us to travel back in time...to get us to where we would be in the following hours.

Each student was given a passport.  They were to have their passports stamped after completing activities in various rooms throughout the complex.  Here is Gem in the General Store getting his passport stamped.

Studying his passport.

They used quill pens and ink to write letters.  We left them to dry and re-gathered with Jane for a tour of the Crane House.

In the dining room of the Crane House.  Jane was, as you can see here, completely willing and able to truly "be" with the kids.  The white gloves on her hands allowed her to handle the artifacts, which was just about everything in the house!  (Original, "old" things, as opposed to replicas, which we were welcome to touch.)

After the tour, the kids' letters were still not quite dry.  So, we climbed upstairs to the school room.  Our guide here is holding an abacus.

The slate boards and slate pencils completely took me back to "Little House" and I was in a happy dreamy place.  We learned about the long "s".

Dunce hat and chair.

If you click to embiggen, you can see the flame at the end of this sealing wax stick.

Ever curious.

Applying the seal.

In the General Store, these post office boxes were built into part of the counter area.  I'd never seen glass paned P.O. boxes before!

The kids also made sachets.  Sag's was mostly chamomile, Gem's had a bit of everything...with the scent of cloves dominant.

(There was also a passport stop into the exterior kitchen.  When we first got there, it was incredibly smoky and the kids couldn't tolerate it.  By the time we made it back, about two hours later, the butter had been churned and the apple fritters made...and the smoke had cleared.  I was prepared to downplay this part of the tour because Gem wouldn't be able to eat much, if anything, of what was being prepared.  As it was, the kids were thirsty and we were all hungry for lunch and ready to go home.  The guide in this room made us some hasty pudding.  It was really nice that he had something to try.  Though he didn't really care for it.)

Parting shot of the Israel Crane House.  It has a remarkable history beginning with Israel Crane who made a fortune in Montclair in the early 1800s (he created, among other things, the Newark-Pompton Turnpike which is now Route 23, which just happened to run right in front of the General Store he opened in Montclair allowing local folks to shorten their previous 7 mile trip to Wayne for groceries and dry goods.)  

About a hundred years later, the house left the family and was taken over by the YWCA.  The YWCA provided young African-American women with a place to live while learning societal and career arts.  The YWCA remained there for about fifty years.  When they decided they needed to update their facility, and raze the building, the town swooped in, desperate to preserve this piece of town history.

In 1965, with three weeks' notice, the Crane House was moved about a mile, to its current location.  The photos documenting this trip were marvelous.  The history of the house, as much as, the wonderful activities, helped us tap into our senses of wonder and delight.  What a gift.

I hope you received a gift today, too.