Doing the math

I read this short piece on The Necessary Art of Subtraction recently.  The wisdom/strategy is obvious and simple, yet easy to miss.

My tendency is to add...and see how the chips fall in terms of what gets subtracted.  I find it difficult to actively subtract.

Here is what I have added and subtracted in these days after Thanksgiving and before Winter Solstice:

+

• dosage of magnesium supplement (really helps my sleep)

• meditation (doing the 10-day free trial)

• Qigong

• setting an alarm to wake up

-

• cane sugar

• grains

• dairy

Decluttering, keeping up with household cleaning, and tightening up the household budget continue to be glaring areas of need.  What must I subtract in order to bring these aspects of responsibility into the fold of my present intention/attention?

(post-sauna selfie in Plympton.)

Peace and love.

Glasses gone wrong

Here I am.  Sleepless.  My consolation is that I am not stressed about not sleeping.  I wish I had slept, but it was not in the cards.  Once I realized it was starting to get light out about twenty minutes ago, I knew there was no use staying in bed.  The only times I can sleep in natural light are when I am very sick or just a bit pregnant.

I realized, also, that with Gem asleep, I would have my laptop uninterrupted.  He has been using it more and more, it feels like.  So I got up.

I recently learned that the lenses in my new glasses, which I'd been wearing for over a month, were incorrectly made.  Not enough as to be glaringly obvious...which is why I spent weeks and then some more weeks wondering why my upper back and neck were SO tight without concomitant stressors and why I was starting to experience headaches (unusual for me)...and why I was finding that I could not read things close up and generally feeling eye strain/fatigue (particularly when reading on my phone screen...which I have doing much more of because my laptop has been occupied by another).

Because the onset of my body's messages of protest was gradual, it took me awhile to figure out the problem might be my eyes (it did not occur to me that it might be the glasses...luckily, I brought my old pair with me in the event that, crazily, my prescription had changed in the month-plus since my last eye exam and I would need to temporarily part with the new glasses).

I mention this because I had noticed, and been feeling bad about, the persistent lack of pleasure reading/writing in my life the past few months.  I do believe this is one of the reasons, perhaps the main reason, my blogging has come to nearly a standstill.  It is a relief to have the smoke clear...metaphorically...my revamped spectacles are due back to me sometime this week.  Time will tell whether and how much my newly-able-to-focus eyes will guide me back to reading and writing.

This integrates a whole new awareness and understanding of learning issues/disabilities into me, physically and mentally.  It took a long time for me, an adult who once made her living working with kids with learning issues, to put two and two together.  I can't imagine a kid, or an adult who has never known themselves to be otherwise when it comes to reading and writing, would be able to easily articulate the connection between the complex physical realities and manifestations of deficit (eyes/brain/body) with what may not even feel like unmet potential...

And pretty much on cue, my eyes are straining...my shoulders are tight, and I am going to sign off.  My dreams of luxurious uninterrupted writing time, dashed.  The light outside just seemed to intensify...as if to make it clear there will be no sleep for me tonight.  It being nearly six a.m. and all.

Peace and love.  (Speaking of love, I LOVED Call The Midwife!)

Shifting

Tomorrow some beginnings will spring forth...the rebirth of familiar fauna, the arrival of new shoots.

• daily morning Qigong for me.  perhaps with the setting of an alarm clock to nudge me into an earlier to bed/earlier to rise pattern.

• piggybacking on gluten-free, and going sugar-free.  a tweet I saw today said it all: "The key to a healthy diet is to cook or live with someone who does."  the last few weeks I have loosened up on meal planning, which is not good for the budget...but it has been good for taking pressure I wasn't even aware of, off of my shoulders.  removing a component like sugar from one's whole foods leaning diet means making a commitment to cooking/baking more of your own food.  it takes a commitment of true time and energy, in addition to a sense of mission/intent/discipline.  I have recovered enough energy to renew my commitment to cooking more.  and improving the health of myself and our family.

• sigh.  it's that time again.  renewal.  making a list of my tv commitments and cutting down.  I heart watching tv.  but it's the thing that has got to give a bit right now.

Game of Thrones

Mad Men

Amazing Race (ends soon)

The Good Wife

House of Lies (ends this week)

Shameless (ends this week)

Top of the Lake

The Following

Revolution

The Mindy Project

Nashville

The Americans

Southland

The Soup

Project Runway (ends soon)

Parks and Rec

Community 

Legit

Hannibal

Spartacus (ends this week)

Real Time

sheesh.  not including the shows ending this week, that's 15 16 hours a week.  I was going to reduce to 7 hours a week, but I don't think I can...  (wow...in addition to these shows I marathon watched two Cinemax series...Hunted and Banshee...in late winter/early spring!  and Downton Abbey was on for two months there...and The Walking Dead...and Justified!)  I also have the first season of Call The Midwife on my dvr and am recording the second season.  *deep cleansing breath*  yes, I love good tv.  oh my god I just remembered I started watching Hannibal...and it's really good.  and the baseball season just started so we're watching Red Sox games.  the Good Wife...I crossed it out, but dang, two weeks ago they put out a top notch episode.  it was so good.  Nashville is my guilty pleasure.  Amazing Race and Project Runway are ending in the new few weeks.  I could drop Project Runway now except I've given it so much of my time already I kind of want to see who wins.  it has been an interesting season with crazy judging.  a friend on Facebook pointed out that things will slow down with summer, which is true.  it feels good to just take an accounting.  to face the situation.  and looking at this list, yes, it's long, but if I cut The Following and Revolution, there isn't much garbage in there.  I guess what will be culled will be culled organically, as time and new commitments dictate.  (see above, setting morning alarm.)

• new rule pertaining to electronics: no electronics until after day's table activities, cleaning work and outdoor time are done.  this is a biggie and will be tres challenging for the kids and me.  but I think the bump to a different reality will be enlightening.  I have no idea how I am going to deal with checking my e-mail.

Here are some photos that tell other parts of the story of my day/weekend:

the upside to sugar is enjoying a bowl like this: vanilla ice cream with a splash of Pedro Ximenez sherry.  so, so scrumptious.

switched the seasonal shelf to a Spring tableau.  I asked the kids if they were still into it and their response was immediate and unequivocal: yes.

the Japanese corner.  the rock and its stand belonged to my paternal grandfather.  the card came from an aunt.  the card holder is from Japan, too.

the gnomes are from our Waldorf days.  they arrived in Christmas stockings, I think.  the rock was painted by Sag in an art class a few years ago.

decluttered the linen closet and now have a supermarket paper bag full of old linens to donate to our local animal shelter.  these towels on top were a commitment ceremony gift to us...twenty year towels.  special.

some chemical shifting within has already begun.  I eschewed the Chinese food I thought I wanted for lunch for simpler home fare.  the last of the goat Brie with baby spinach in a brown rice wrap with grape tomatoes on the side.  yum.

this is what my corner of the apartment looks like at the moment.  a way station for decluttered stuff from the kids' room and the living room.  some day, hopefully sooner rather than later, this area will be my morning Qigong spot.  visions of Qigong, meditation and yoga dance in my head.  it is a process...always.

Peace and love.

A speck breathing easier

Paid a visit to my western doc today.  I've had some curious physical things occur in the orbit of the left side of my face the past couple of months...all minor and intermittent/fleeting...which yet put together clanged a distant alarm.

Vinny has been consulted all along and he has been treating me accordingly.  He agreed that finding out more info would, of course, be useful.  Especially anything visual of the inside of my head/body.

However, western doc was completely unconcerned.  I am quite enamored of this doctor, our family doc since we moved here nearly seven years ago.  It is remarkable how opposite ends of the spectrum western and eastern medicine can be.  She treated my symptoms as completely unrelated.  Vinny and I have tended to view them as very much potentially connected.

I was relieved to hear her use the word "crazy" when I asked for confirmation that I need not worry about stroke.  (This is a testament to how good our relationship is.)

So, one thing checked off the list (cease worrying about a possible tumor growing in my skull).  I am still feeling like a speck overwhelmed by just about everything.  But I am a speck breathing easier...enjoying the good moments which I find tucked into the chaos.

St Pat.

Peace and love.

P.S.  I don't know how to put this eloquently...but I totally think it is possible that there is something going on underneath skin and bone on the left side of me...in the upper left quadrant.  But, whatever it is, I am content not to worry about it any longer, in this present.

But wait, there's more

I am on the mend.  Plying myself with warm liquids brewed with things like ginger and garlic.  Cap and the boys are now sick.  We've been due a big family sick.  Luckily, we're not about to board a flight to Disneyland or something.  Our immune systems will strengthen and we will keep on truckin'.

Peace.

There and back

I LOVE OUR NEW CAR!!!  Love, love, love, love.  It is so comfortable (my bottom is spoiled for leather seats with power lumbar support forever now...and I so look forward to flipping on the seat warmer switch come winter!) ...and watching the mileage monitor creep up and over 45 miles per gallon cruising along endless I-95?  Enthralling.

We spent just shy of 24 hours in Plympton and it was wonderful.  Jamie came over for the lovely backyard dinner Amy put together.  It was so relaxing and the night was perfect for it.  Cool enough to keep skeeters away but comfortable enough to play and play and play.

Though I can say no toads were harmed in the making of these photos...it was pretty traumatized-stunned, the poor thing.

Mother's Day was spent celebrating Cap's mom, Mummu to the four "grands" as she calls them.  I was very pleased that she seemed to really like our gift, a Barnes and Noble Nook.  We set it to charge right away, but didn't have enough time to go over the ins and outs with her.  We will be calling upon her local techie gurus for help with that.

And what would a visit with the Plympton cousins be without a viewing of Panda Go Panda?  Sorely lacking in tradition, that's what.

Sigh.  Cap and I really miss Massachusetts.  It's always good to visit and a little wistful to leave.

This morning, I treated myself to a belated Mother's Day and took the kids out to breakfast.  We went to Toast and loved it.  They are knowledgeable about gluten issues and we felt comfortable (safe) ordering.  Homemade hash on the menu daily...yum!

Peace and love.

P.S.  We've decided to remove gluten from Sag's diet for the next while (3-6 months).  He has experienced enormous physical growth in the last six months and we suspect there are some hormonal/chemical shifts taking place based on new signs of inflammation (puffy appearance and higher than usual sensitivity).  Cap and I are renewing our own commitments to gluten-free/grain-free...it has become a full blown family affair.

Here for a moment

A shot from a Sunday mid-day Minecraft play.  His brother was on the desktop and they were doing something together.  Lots of shrieks and laughter.

Did you read the link I posted last week about the hazards of sitting?  I'm going to try leaving my laptop at this "standing desk" to reduce my sitting time.

These piles?  Oh they are just the beginning...  So much to do and catch up on.

Our new slow cooker arrived last week and it remains in its wrapping.  Hoping to get some chicken stock "tea" going this week.

Our friend Anna and rats.  I had a lovely time at Roger's birthday celebration Saturday including having these inquisitive and active rodents crawl on me.

Peace and love.

Growing

In the last few weeks, I have been noticing subtle, positive shifts in Gem's appetite and energy.  I think there is photographic evidence of these changes, too.  Have a look...

 April 1.

 April 7.

April 15.

His coloring has improved.  He still has his moments of melancholy or anxiety, as we all do, but he seems happier.  He is definitely more affectionate.  I've been receiving lots of hugs and kisses.  Clearly, he is feeling a lot of gratitude.

This week, I asked him to weigh himself.  I was curious to see if he'd gained any weight.  He had.  Over five pounds since we discovered he hadn't gained any weight since last Summer.  (It is possible he had gained some, but then lost it during his on again off again month-plus battling viruses this Winter.)

It could be a coincidence, but I do rather think the near daily doses of fish oil and protein-rich smoothies have made an impact.  I wonder if the fish oil has helped to kick start something metabolically...or if it simply is a matter of increased protein/fat (I usually put hemp powder and almond butter in the smoothie).

Maybe it has more to do with timing.  Fall and Winter brought some virus-y times for him.  But, now it is Spring and he is unfurling into the season.  Organically and beautifully.

It is okay that it can't be explained or analyzed to solution.  I am simply happy.  For him and for us.

Powered by change

That's how I feel about Spring...this Spring, for sure.  There is an incredible energy of change.

This morning I walked with Danielle to the library and back.  Walking and talking, a nice combo.  Now, my body is wanting to be still.  This dearth of energy seems to be hormonal...cycle-related.


Before the walk I zipped over to the big Whole Paycheck and stocked up on many items of change:

• nutritional yeast (good source of vitamin B12, which I want to get more of into the kids)

• Barleans fish oil (for me and the kids, absolutely no fishiness)

• Barleans Essential Woman (to boost me in the second half of my cycle...PMS time)

• hemp protein powder (trying out two brands in addition to the Vega which uses yellow pea powder)

• vitamin D3 supplement (for me...wish I'd thought to supplement during Winter)

• macadamia nut oil (for homemade mayo...moving to reduce the kids' consumption of canola, soy and safflower oils...increasing olive and coconut oils.  was looking for avocado oil for the mayo, but they didn't have any.  my mayo consumption is down to essentially zero, but Sag...that boy loves his mayo!)

With all my recent spendy-ness (in addition to the above, this for Danielle's first birthday, the specially ordered chocolate Easter bunnies, some other special birthdays, the base for an exciting art project ordered online...all the pesky shipping charges...), when I came across this book, I was bummed not to find it in the library database.  I wish I could take a look to see if it is worth buying. It looks so promising (gluten-free, dairy-free and sugar-free!) that on another day, in another week, or month, I might have just ordered it through our local bookshop.  Not right now, though.

One more thing I have changed recently is the kids' bedtime routine.  Usually around nine o'clock, I have them put their reading material aside and turn the lights down (they get into pjs and floss and brush around 8:30.)  I rub their bellies with ginger oil.  Sag takes a few spritzes of Rescue Sleep on the tongue.  I massage Gem's spine a few times with my finger tip.  I rub Sag's back with my hand in circular patterns.  I rub Gem's upper back and the back of his calves.  I try to get Sag's calves, too.  (Sag finds most massage very tickle-y.)  There is usually a request for a few drops of lavender onto their pillows.

That I am doing this, which was a long time coming, is a sign of my own increased Qi energy.  I am in better balance, in better energetic shape.  This time of day is tough for me.  I am often "done".  But, somehow, I have a new reserve and it's been put to good use.  Sag is very sensitive before falling asleep and is plagued by nightly "bad thoughts" (spiders, poison, abandonment, death).  Gem responds very sensitively to massage.  It's the best time for the two of them to receive this kind of, literally, hands on care.

Peace and love.

In afternoon light

I knit some stitches today.  In between offering sips of tea and holding hair back for vomiting.  And taking temperatures.  And soothing and holding.  And watching one sleep and listening to the other iPadding.

I am back from having Sag checked out at the family doc.  He does indeed have strep, on top of the GI virus his brother started with in the middle of the night.  I feel bad for him with this double whammy...he's hanging in there.  Cap is out getting the amoxicillin.  We fervently hope that he'll be able to keep it down.

I wish I could close my eyes for a bit longer.  But, I was lucky.  Vinny was able to push my appointment back.  So I will head off for his healing hands with my new book.  (I know, another one...this one I purchased with the last of my Xmas cash.)

The River of Bees (link to poem)

Sag went to bed streppy, but Gem was the one up between 2 and 6 with a bad GI bug.  It was a Florence Nightingale kind of night.  Within an hour of Gem's falling back asleep, Sag was suffering from a high fever.  Thankfully, the fever responded well to medication.

Havoc was wrought sleep-wise.

I am not planning on doing much today.  Sag has a doc appointment this afternoon and I am hoping to see Vinny after that.  Keeping my fingers crossed that Cap stays healthy...he has a conference later this week out-of-state.

As is the way of poetry, this one was a balm to me today.

Peace and love and the everlasting battles waged by immune systems.

P.S.  And speaking of bees...

Bits

Another day has flown by without touching down here.  It's as if the gravitational pull has gone haywire.  Look out, here comes a hail of bullets...

• late this afternoon, Sag started complaining of a sore throat...I took a peek and it didn't look good...we're hoping to get in to see a doc tomorrow afternoon.  in the meantime, it is getting quite sore, poor guy.

• this morning, Sag and I had a lovely time at the quilting and sewing supply store in town.  he is making a Creeper plush and we were getting the materials he needed.  I have misplaced my sewing tin somehow, so we needed to get needles and pins on top of everything else.

• I made the best soup I've ever made today: onion, garlic, ginger, carrot, celery, fennel, daikon, bay leaves, veggie bouillon, homemade stock and CSA chicken...it was outstanding.  it was too late to catch whatever is ailing Sag now, but hopefully, it will help to kick it to the curb sooner rather than later.

• I went kind of crazy with food this weekend.  February was a slippery slope.  once I let very small amounts of sugar, gluten and grains back in (at celebratory restaurant gatherings), I started skidding and then full on sliding.  when I realized I was going to get really strict again, I decided to have some last hurrahs, listening to what my body was calling for: key lime pie, a cheeseburger avec bun and pistachio ice cream.  the pie and ice cream were very satisfying.  the burger bun, not so much...gluten/wheat has really revealed itself to be a problem food for me and the shine is really coming off of wheat-y foods.

• I thought I was going to be a mess today between the weekend's overload and the cold turkey (cutting out sugar, grains, dairy and caffeine for now).  color me shocked because it hasn't been that bad.  what I am noticing more than anything is that my hunger cycle is off.  I ate very lightly all day with no strong hunger pangs until about an hour ago,

• Cap and I went out yesterday.  we were shut out of A Separation (last tix sold to the folks just ahead of us in line).  so we browsed in both bookshops in town which was so relaxing.  we'd decided to each buy a book since it was about equivalent to the cost of a movie ticket.  but I bought two...this and this.

• I've noticed that many of the titles on my 2012 Book List are...dark.  or darkish.  it's how my tastes run.  I am going to need to intersperse some fun reads to lighten the mood every once in awhile.

• I am loving reading and knitting more.  having a book or project at hand gives my day-to-day some welcome, grounding heft.  though they also serve to signal how fast the hours of a day slip through the fingers.

• there is so much more...I think as my brain weans itself off some of my food chemical culprits, I will settle back into some thoughtful thinks.  in the meantime, here's a catchy ditty the kids and I have been enjoying:



 Peace and love.  Wishing you smooth sailing during the chaos of the season (is it Winter/is it Spring?)

Boy fun

Sag has been getting a lot of mileage out of The Encyclopedia of Immaturity.  It has been a few years since their Auntie Sandy gave it to them.  This is a book he goes back to regularly for entertaining, creative fun.

Gem went back to Pokemon TCG play at the comic book shop yesterday.  He is raring to go.  There is a pre-release tournament next weekend he is planning on attending and he has dreams of one day making it to the World Championships.

On our way out the driveway, we saw the UPS deliveryman.  Gem's long awaited comics had arrived!  This Sonic fanboy spent the bulk of his sizable holiday gift money on a big batch of Sonic back issues.  106 of them, to be exact.

And now, off to some girl fun.  My annual meeting with the speculum (warmed up, thank you very much :-)

Sugarless sleep

I am grateful.  Just 24 hours of no honey and maple syrup on top of no "regular" sugar resulted in a noticeably better night of sleep.  

When my body hit the bed I felt a distinct relaxing spread throughout me.  In retrospect, I can see how my body received a clear signal to rest simply by getting horizontal in the dark.  (As opposed to "time to think" or "time to daydream" or "time to ruminate" or "time to stare blankly into the dark".)

I fell asleep very quickly.  Quicker than usual.

When I woke up, I wasn't bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  (Will I ever be again?  We shall see...)  But, I felt rested in a way that I haven't for a long time.  It wasn't a chore to open my eyes.  I felt lighter inside. And, again, I could feel a distinct physical connection and relationship between my body and the bed.

There is something about sugar which cuts my mind-body connection.  Literally.

(Incidentally, I went with the photo above because my skin also feels different this morning.  It is super soft and supple.  So interesting!  I don't know that I look "brighter", but rubbing my fingers on my face feels nice.)

Mole out of the hole

illustration by Adelaide Tyrol.

What an unpleasant night.

Realized I didn't receive a Xmas package ordered from a retailer "delivered to the front door" by UPS.  (This happened twice last year.)  The issue was resolved painlessly this morning (retailer is sending out a replacement "express" which should arrive by next Thursday...I guess "express" slows down during the holiday season...)

I am in my PMS week (never quite know how/when it's going to strike).  But, also, I am not built for dealing with this kind of commercial/commerce crap.  I run high/empty during the "holiday season" and I have not yet figured out how to more truly-to-my-Self be in it and with it.

I was shaky and had a stress headache...which set my bedtime back a bit.  And...I actually had the thought, which I briefly believed, that the Universe was getting back at me for feeling so good about getting so much of the shopping done quickly and early.  What?!

Before I hit the hay, I encountered a posting issue on Blogger.  This was one of those things that felt significant and insignificant at the same time.  More dissonance.  I wondered if I should take it as a sign to get offline for the month like I thought about doing a couple of weeks ago.  (Not really feeling that way anymore, as you can see.)

I noticed this glitch because I was trying to post a personal advert for someone else's blog in order to promote a XBox Kinect giveaway (and hopefully win one).  Again with my ties to the commercial realities/aspects of this season.

By this morning, a tip someone posted in a help forum worked for me.  So here I am composing, hoping when I hit "publish", the post will go through.  If any of you are having this issue (the blogs are remaining readable and commentable, it's just not new postable), the fix that worked for me was to be signed out of Gmail, sign in only to Blogger, then hit "New Post".  (A bizarre work around since Gmail and Blogger are both owned by Google.)

I did sleep in, which helped my body...which has actually been achey lately!  (A true sign of imbalance and the need for restoration.)  Sag woke early and alone to continue building his Lego and Gem and I slept (usually Gem wakes up first and then wakes me up...Sag stays in bed for up to an hour more.)

Once we were up, Sag and I took the dog out.  I really do love how the dog gets me/us out of the apartment and into fresh air, no matter how short the outings are.  Gem stayed home cozy in his robe "reading his daily Wikis" on the iPad.  His version of the ritual of reading the morning paper.  I didn't make a big deal of this...but it was a first.

Growing, developing, learning...sometimes it is such a quiet moment that it could steal right past you without your notice.

Seasonal

Sag's name day was celebrated this morning (a nod to the Finnish side of our family).  Found a wee strawberry flower in the yard!  Just like him, a force of nature.

Heading back to the doc this morning.  Gem is not feeling well and i think I spot evidence of infection in his throat.

I am feeling the pull...towards pulling the covers over my head...burrowing...being quiet and still...in the dark.

Quiet storm

It was a busy day.  I am not complaining.  It was full and involved a number of stops out of the house.  It was vibrant.

I got home just past 7pm.  Thankfully, Cap is cooking for the kids this week or I would have been between a rock and a hard place what with the emergency Vinny session for Gem this evening (nothing to worry about, as it turns out).

When I walked into the kitchen, I made a beeline for the green beans.  These beans from the farm, I tell you, they are heavenly.  Cap cooks them to perfection.  But, soon after, I had to have protein...and a lot of it.  I had some of the chicken salad Cap made (another of his signature dishes) and then moved onto some of the leftover turkey stuffed butternut squash.

I quietly observed this insistent call for protein...a shift of some sort.

A couple of hours later, I felt it.  Cold symptoms coming on like a storm front.  A new weather pattern.

I love reading my body.

Slow-mo

The work...the process of sifting through stuff and dust to reorganize and streamline...it was indescribably tedious yesterday.  I am sensitive to flow.  When I am part of it, I am juiced.  Thrumming with Life, with Energy, it feels amazing.  When I am not, I feel out of sync, disjointed.

Yesterday, I felt like was I moving in a molasses flood.  I was acutely aware of the blanket of DULL which lay over me and the room.

But, I kept going.  The ducking and denial that I would step into the past did not happen.  That's how powerful this recent shift within me, is.  I was in extreme slow motion, but I never stopped.  I was in somewhat-agony, but it never reached unbearable-pitch.

Rather than filling bags with stuff-to-sort-out-later, today, I will be going through old bags to clear them out of my frakkin' way.

I'm not feeling positive...yet.  There ain't nothing "good" about tedium in my book.  And the sense I got at some point yesterday evening, that keeping a clutter-free and dust-free space is relentless (not to mention being the head cheerleader of sorts when it comes to maintaining said space thusly)...well, that's an indication right there that I am not in flow.

But, in-between is okay.  Actually, it is so much better than any of the negative "d" words of the past: down and out, denial, depressed, dragging...I'll take it.  With a smile.  Which tips the scale towards plus.  Nice.

Looking pretty good 24 hours later!  The old shelf, a hand-me-down from Basha when she moved from Boston (for you old timers) will not stay there under the window.  Where it will go next is TBD.

This spot on the computer table, also known as, my desk, tends to fill up quickly with the minutiae of passing hours and days (foot tall piles are frequent guests).  I am curious to see what happens this week.  It doesn't really feel my desk most of the time.  Adding these little touches may help.

We picked up four of these red plastic bin inserts at Ikea the other day.  (The other two have been inserted into the white shelves.)  These bins contain smaller game containers and game accessories.  We love how it gives the shelf a cleaner look, while, hopefully, keeping the dust factor down.  (Our game shelf is the same type of shelf, Expedit, we bought for homeschooling storage, just a different color.  They don't make this color anymore.  Our first choice color for the homeschooling shelves were unavailable, but we actually really like the way the white looks in that corner.)

The silver lining to Gem's new environmental allergy situation (his symptoms continue to subside) is that we have a new impetus to redesign and manage our space with a critical eye towards keeping the space as dust-free as possible.  The less stuff we have, the easier it will to be clean frequently!

Reflecting on yesterday, I can see a greater Flow in place.  Fills me with gratitude and peace.

oh em gee

This is so similar to what we've been dealing with Gem ever since we visited Massachusetts.  I haven't been driven as crazy as the author because it hasn't been as long, but I can really relate to her experience (and cringe as I think on how Gem would probably relate to the experience of the boy).

This certainly has me rethinking the advice we received from our family doc about the futility of visiting a pediatric allergist.


http://www.livingwithout.com/blog/airborne_allergies-2667-1.html

Morning yum

Bing cherry jam from the farmer's market (Treelicious) and kiwi jam from Barcelona.  Made for a lovely breakfast with eggs from yesterday's farm delivery scrambled gently in olive oil, seasoned with salt and pepper.

I continue to be overwhelmed with bouts of insomnia/persistent sleep deprivation.  It has been motivating, in a way, to realize that my physiological disarray (hormonal-neurological-emotional soup) is likely due to deepening entry/full arrival into a new phase of my life: perimenopause.

This doesn't really change how I want to deal with anything (practice Qigong, take my herbs, keep rebalancing and recalibrating in pursuit of inner and outer peace, being gentle), but moving away from confusion (which at moments led to near panic) helps to transform some of the feeling of chaos into a jumble of pushes and pulls that feels more manageable.

I am still laughing, weakly, remembering the phrase I read a couple of days ago that perimenopause can last anywhere from two to fifteen years...

Which reminds me of a video my local homeschoooling fellow HCHS alum friend Elizabeth posted this morning on Google+ (I'm still there waiting for more folks to join me!) about living with indignant joy...

Peace and love and furious happiness to you.