Stopping in just to say all is well. I had a significant breakthrough in my thinking and self-awareness for which I am grateful and relieved.
Sag's birthday signals the start of a crazy busy season for our family and it has most certainly begun.
Today I was so grateful for technology which allowed me to photograph (involved downloading a free camera timer app to my phone), design and order our holiday cards, all within an hour.
Here's a funny "awkward family photo" from our living room couch session:
I have very fond memories of lugging dozens of library books the half mile home, on foot (my mom probably did most of the heavy lifting in our trusty metal shopping cart), when I was a kid. When I picture it in my mind, it is always the trip home, full of joyous anticipation and delight over treasures found.
We have a wonderful library in town, which is part of a fantastic consortium of libraries, which in turn, has given us access to just about any book/cd/dvd. My recently re-raised consciousness about our finances has turned me away from my old-habits-die-hard habit of buying books.
I love buying books. I love the feel of a new book. The virgin pages. I love our local bookstore. The smell as you step in, the warm "hellos" of the staff who we have become friendly with, the depth of their collection in a cozy space...
But, I do also love the library. I am grateful for technology and social media. I love having a list of books I want to read over at Goodreads (many of the books have come by way of authors, bloggers, NYT and NPR interviews, etc.) I love being able to cross check my list with the library consortium database.
Today, it took maybe 15 minutes to ascertain that my local library had a number of books on my "want to read" list, on its shelves. I had to go over anyway to pick up some books I'd requested that had come in, as well as, our Friday night "classic" movie for tomorrow night (The Red Shoes).
Once there, in what really does feel like a home away from home in some ways, I gathered my pile, checked everything out, had a cup of tea with my sweetie, and brought my loot home.
Tomorrow some beginnings will spring forth...the rebirth of familiar fauna, the arrival of new shoots.
• daily morning Qigong for me. perhaps with the setting of an alarm clock to nudge me into an earlier to bed/earlier to rise pattern.
• piggybacking on gluten-free, and going sugar-free. a tweet I saw today said it all: "The key to a healthy diet is to cook or live with someone who does." the last few weeks I have loosened up on meal planning, which is not good for the budget...but it has been good for taking pressure I wasn't even aware of, off of my shoulders. removing a component like sugar from one's whole foods leaning diet means making a commitment to cooking/baking more of your own food. it takes a commitment of true time and energy, in addition to a sense of mission/intent/discipline. I have recovered enough energy to renew my commitment to cooking more. and improving the health of myself and our family.
• sigh. it's that time again. renewal. making a list of my tv commitments and cutting down. I heart watching tv. but it's the thing that has got to give a bit right now.
Game of Thrones
Mad Men
Amazing Race (ends soon)
The Good Wife
House of Lies (ends this week)
Shameless (ends this week)
Top of the Lake
The Following
Revolution
The Mindy Project
Nashville
The Americans
Southland
The Soup
Project Runway (ends soon)
Parks and Rec
Community
Legit
Hannibal
Spartacus (ends this week)
Real Time
sheesh. not including the shows ending this week, that's 15 16 hours a week. I was going to reduce to 7 hours a week, but I don't think I can... (wow...in addition to these shows I marathon watched two Cinemax series...Hunted and Banshee...in late winter/early spring! and Downton Abbey was on for two months there...and The Walking Dead...and Justified!) I also have the first season of Call The Midwife on my dvr and am recording the second season. *deep cleansing breath* yes, I love good tv. oh my god I just remembered I started watching Hannibal...and it's really good. and the baseball season just started so we're watching Red Sox games. the Good Wife...I crossed it out, but dang, two weeks ago they put out a top notch episode. it was so good. Nashville is my guilty pleasure. Amazing Race and Project Runway are ending in the new few weeks. I could drop Project Runway now except I've given it so much of my time already I kind of want to see who wins. it has been an interesting season with crazy judging. a friend on Facebook pointed out that things will slow down with summer, which is true. it feels good to just take an accounting. to face the situation. and looking at this list, yes, it's long, but if I cut The Following and Revolution, there isn't much garbage in there. I guess what will be culled will be culled organically, as time and new commitments dictate. (see above, setting morning alarm.)
• new rule pertaining to electronics: no electronics until after day's table activities, cleaning work and outdoor time are done. this is a biggie and will be tres challenging for the kids and me. but I think the bump to a different reality will be enlightening. I have no idea how I am going to deal with checking my e-mail.
Here are some photos that tell other parts of the story of my day/weekend:
the upside to sugar is enjoying a bowl like this: vanilla ice cream with a splash of Pedro Ximenez sherry. so, so scrumptious.
switched the seasonal shelf to a Spring tableau. I asked the kids if they were still into it and their response was immediate and unequivocal: yes.
the Japanese corner. the rock and its stand belonged to my paternal grandfather. the card came from an aunt. the card holder is from Japan, too.
the gnomes are from our Waldorf days. they arrived in Christmas stockings, I think. the rock was painted by Sag in an art class a few years ago.
decluttered the linen closet and now have a supermarket paper bag full of old linens to donate to our local animal shelter. these towels on top were a commitment ceremony gift to us...twenty year towels. special.
some chemical shifting within has already begun. I eschewed the Chinese food I thought I wanted for lunch for simpler home fare. the last of the goat Brie with baby spinach in a brown rice wrap with grape tomatoes on the side. yum.
this is what my corner of the apartment looks like at the moment. a way station for decluttered stuff from the kids' room and the living room. some day, hopefully sooner rather than later, this area will be my morning Qigong spot. visions of Qigong, meditation and yoga dance in my head. it is a process...always.
Apologies for my absence. I wish wish wish I could post some pics. I have some good ones.
Blogger is acting a bit funny on the iPad. Also, I cannot seem to upload photos from the camera roll onto Blogger.
I am enjoying my respite from regular life. The weather has been fantastic. Barbra and Audrey have been magnificent hosts. I am wanting for nothing except maybe some solid sleep. Jet lag is a fickle and slippery thing.
I have been breathing in abundant nature, time with friends and incredible food. I have watched no tv. Nor have I cracked open a book. I have Skyped with the kids. I have been snuggled by the dogs. I have been Instagramming, Tweeting and Facebooking.
Two more days followed by a red-eye and I will re-enter home life on Thursday. I will likely not return here till then.
Running a little ragged. In six hours I'll be boarding a plane. In half a day I will be (Universe willing) landing in SFO.
I'm bringing my 'droid phone and the iPad. I think I'll be blogging, but mostly without pictures. If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, you'll see some pictures.
The 95% humidity yesterday meant my laundry didn't (line) dry. This morning it (the laundry) has that feel of "is this damp or just cold?" I am not packed yet.
The iPad is so full I can't download movies. Discovered late last night that you can delete apps and other up/downloadable material into the Cloud and re-download them onto devices later. We'll dip our toes into that today.
Thinking about whether to travel with a pillow. I don't usually, but my mantra the last few days has been "I can sleep on the plane". (And my return is a red-eye.)
I'm still bleeding and kind of congested. What can you do.
In twenty-four hours I may be sleeping despite jet lag. Or I may be blogging about my first night in Oakland. I any event, I imagine a less fraught state.
Today's food pic is my mug of iced coffee. I've got a pitcher in the fridge. Yesterday I made a carafe of iced green tea. Upgrading my drinks from water is about my speed these days. I go from the air conditioned living room, hungry, to the kitchen where my heat non-sensitive spouse is taking care of business. The wall of heat and humidity hits me and my appetite falls away.
I am in a daze today. My mood has been heinous...masking a bit of despair, I think, most likely powered by hormonal imbalance/shift. (I eagerly await my blood test results. A definitive answer about thyroid and/or vitamin D would be wonderful.)
I installed new anti-virus and anti-malware software onto Sag's PC, updated the iMac software, opened a Steam account for Gem, and helped them each buy a new game (they spent their own money and were psyched the games were half-price).
I had a thought and discovered that, indeed, the adult school has a course on Java programming. Sag is interested in learning and I've been working on figuring out how to manage that. I may take the course and teach him as I learn.
As Whole30 winds down, I am struck by what hasn't changed, today. It's okay. It's all information, it makes me aware. I am tired of being tired...I just have to keep going.
Cap showered us with gifts last night. He had an unexpectedly hefty pay day for a talk he gave at a Japanese university. The crowning glories were Panny and Papa Panda from Panda Go Panda.
Things are about to get hectic here. We have a birthday to celebrate this weekend and then Barbra comes for a visit next week. I'm pretty compulsive about posting so I don't think I will disappear, but things may feel scant here for awhile.
Some ideas about how to spend the Summer are beginning to form...and some kind of mindful technology/screen practice is an idea tossing about in the wash. Time will tell.
Sag made two portals today. Here's me with one of them. Our kids are creative/creating early and often, as the saying goes. But, as with any art, I don't dig it all. This, I love.
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Today, I drove. Which I really don't like to do when the route/destination is not familiar. But, the destination changed last minute to one I was somewhat familiar with which boosted my morale. And, honestly, I love our new car so much, that I was driving Moomin boosted my mood.
It was nice to socialize a bit, hang out with a sweet dog and be out of the house.
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I've been asked: does your new car have GPS? The Prius is high tech. Or...more tech anyway. And, yes, our model comes with a nifty "screen" package which includes a GPS. I've been having trouble setting it up and this afternoon finally discovered the reason: our cell carrier is not a match for the necessary interface.
Annoyance.
Especially because our "Entune" account has been considered "activated" since the day I first went to the website to hook the system up, a month ago. The day it didn't actually connect because as it turns out we don't have the proper cell carrier. I wouldn't call that "activated".
I said, "well, that's not fair", she said, "well, our system isn't set up to remedy that, but I can document your call"...I figured I wasn't going to get very far on the Friday afternoon of the three day weekend that kicks the Summer off.
If we do decide to switch cell carriers so we can use the freakin' Entune (it's free for the first three years), they'll be hearing from me again to make our free period retroactive from when we actually are able to start using the service.
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Read See You At Harry's. It was okay. No great shakes. It had some good moments. For me, it suffered a little bit in that the protagonist was twelve and yet it felt and read like the narrator was much older. The storytelling wasn't as transparent as I thought it was meant to be.
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Inspired by some chicken Donna made for common meal, I baked some pastured chicken legs for dinner tonight. I seasoned them with garlic powder, ginger powder, salt and pepper. Then marinated them in orange juice and olive oil. Yummers. Sag and I were all over the crunchy skin.
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Gem is not having any of his usual pre-birthday angst. It is so wonderful and eerie at the same time. I'm happy for him, but it's such a departure. He still says he doesn't want to grow up/things to change...and I don't know for sure what's going through his mind because I'm in no rush to point out that he has, in fact, changed quite a bit in his pre-birthday mood...maybe he's resigned...or accepting in a new way...or just is in a different way.
12 in 16 days.
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I was floored to find out The Bloggess is coming to our very own local indie bookshop on her book tour! I picked up "tickets" for Shannon and myself today. Shannon is a fan, too. At first I wasn't going to go because it's the night Cap is returning from Japan. But, now that I'm out from under the dark cloud of a few days ago, I'm feeling like this is a really fun and genuine opportunity.
Funny aside. I was confused about why the website didn't mention whether the event was free or not. I didn't see a ticket price, but also didn't see the word "free". I asked via Facebook whether the event was ticketed and one of the staff responded to say it was and I could drop by the store or go through the store website.
I'd had no luck figuring it out on the website so I dropped by the shop. And there I learned that the "price" was buying a book through the store! I don't know if things have changed or what, but I've never had that be a requirement for going to a reading. What am I saying... Things have changed. The last book reading/signing I went to was probably Lousie Erdrich in Harvard Square in 1998 or so. Before Amazon, before the war on independent booksellers.
Anyway, I'd already bought my copy, from the shop, weeks ago, which they knew. I love having a neighborhood bookstore where they know my name.
I LOVE OUR NEW CAR!!! Love, love, love, love. It is so comfortable (my bottom is spoiled for leather seats with power lumbar support forever now...and I so look forward to flipping on the seat warmer switch come winter!) ...and watching the mileage monitor creep up and over 45 miles per gallon cruising along endless I-95? Enthralling.
We spent just shy of 24 hours in Plympton and it was wonderful. Jamie came over for the lovely backyard dinner Amy put together. It was so relaxing and the night was perfect for it. Cool enough to keep skeeters away but comfortable enough to play and play and play.
Though I can say no toads were harmed in the making of these photos...it was pretty traumatized-stunned, the poor thing.
Mother's Day was spent celebrating Cap's mom, Mummu to the four "grands" as she calls them. I was very pleased that she seemed to really like our gift, a Barnes and Noble Nook. We set it to charge right away, but didn't have enough time to go over the ins and outs with her. We will be calling upon her local techie gurus for help with that.
And what would a visit with the Plympton cousins be without a viewing of Panda Go Panda? Sorely lacking in tradition, that's what.
Sigh. Cap and I really miss Massachusetts. It's always good to visit and a little wistful to leave.
This morning, I treated myself to a belated Mother's Day and took the kids out to breakfast. We went to Toast and loved it. They are knowledgeable about gluten issues and we felt comfortable (safe) ordering. Homemade hash on the menu daily...yum!
Peace and love.
P.S. We've decided to remove gluten from Sag's diet for the next while (3-6 months). He has experienced enormous physical growth in the last six months and we suspect there are some hormonal/chemical shifts taking place based on new signs of inflammation (puffy appearance and higher than usual sensitivity). Cap and I are renewing our own commitments to gluten-free/grain-free...it has become a full blown family affair.
Talking to Vinny yesterday, I said things along the lines of...
feeling amidst chaos (Spring, Spring, you do something to me),
feeling busy (we parsed that word a bit and, yes, it means too much, but the too much is by choice and out of love and devotion...family stuff) and,
feeling overwhelmed (if one can remove one's "head"/mind from the past and the expectations that cling...the present moment can power you).
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I took an exploratory/observational trip to Costco with Tiina yesterday morning. After some analysis, I have firmly established that it is not the way to go for us right now. They don't carry our brands or applicable alternatives. Next stop: Shoprite.
Speaking of food and finances, I am running into a problem which tends to crop up when I meal plan and do the bulk of the week's shopping on the weekend. I don't have a clear enough picture of my/our schedule when planning/shopping and perishables lie fallow in the fridge while life happens outside of it.
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I took a pointer from this piece over at Lifehacker and turned off the alerts from e-mail, Twitter and Facebook on my phone. I was out of the apartment a lot yesterday and it made a huge difference.
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Lana posted this gem on Facebook the other day. Made my cells sing. (It's a rainy morning here.)
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Things have taken a turn in Sag's dreaming of acquiring a PC laptop. He has wanted one for months and months. It has been a desire born of playing Minecraft, which can be played on a Mac, but delving into the world of gaming, which like the "real" world, operates majorly on PCs. There have been paths of play and curiosity he has not been able to follow, limited by being on an Apple machine.
We discovered recently that he has been squirreling away his dollars and can pay for half of a budget PC that would seemingly be able to handle the demands he would place on it and is on sale at the moment. We may take a leap and strike while the iron is hot!
I don't feel as terribly tired as I usually do on the second day of my period. Is it a coincidence? Or is it due to the chaos of early Spring shaking loose "stuff" (that had been stagnant) followed by starting Dragon's Way (and that kickass group practice Monday night)?
I feel lighter, and in fact, stepped on the scale this morning and saw I'd lost three pounds. (I sometimes feel like I literally embody my Sun sign, the water bearer...) It's a one-two punch: rotating in the water-releasing veggies of the Dragon Way and the hormonal shift that comes with starting my period which tends to release water retention.
My period arrived without the usual negative fanfare, too. And a bit early. Double yay because no PMS is awesome and I was dreading traveling to and from MA in the depth of my bleeding time.
Okay, enough about my menses.
Here are some pics which have accumulated in the camera:
It occurs to me now that maybe I was a bit PMS-y over the weekend. My mind latched onto having sushi Sunday afternoon and would not shake the notion. Cap brought me some in between sessions of his conference up at the University. It was delicious, but too much. I felt like I was going to explode afterward. Ninety minutes later I was sitting in an Indian restaurant celebrating Kelly's birthday. (I had a lamb samosa and mango lassi for dinner.)
I went on a shopping expedition with Leo and Danielle last week. My quest for Mod Podge (for my lunchbox project) brought me to my favorite local art shop. Ever since spotting the light boxes there during my pre-Xmas annual visit, I have been researching and considering. Sag has been wanting one on and off for awhile having used them in his animation classes and learning how Minecrafters use them in their animations (via YouTube). Here's our new lightpad. It's nifty.
Dragon's Way food: zucchini, spinach, cherry toms, pine nuts, garlic and ginger. Yum.
My as-of-yet unopened Mod Podge. And the tablet stand I found on sale at Radio Shack. The stand will come useful in the kitchen to pull up recipes. It is time to make the shift...towards putting my scraps of paper and overstuffed binder of recipes to rest.
Finished Rat Girl yesterday. It started so slowly for me that I almost abandoned it. I am glad I didn't. You can check out my review via my Goodreads gadget along the right side of the blog. (It's free to join and a great site...like Ravelry for readers.)
Also cool, I sent Kristin Hersh a tweet to thank her for another wonderful piece of art. (There's a Twitter gadget on the right side of the blog, too, so you can see my latest tweets.)
On deck: Blue Has No South by Alex Epstein (recommended by Alex Chee via Twitter) or The Ticking Is The Bomb by Nick Flynn. 2012 has been about memoirs and short stories so far.
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Decided this morning in one of those quick-as-a-flash moments to stop illegally downloading music I borrow from the library. Sag has been very patient with me...this has been a long time coming. He has expressed his discomfort with my actions for a year or two. Ever since he realized what I was doing.
I don't do this nearly as much anymore and I am as likely to buy a song on iTunes than wait to borrow a copy of the cd from the library. But, I did it the other day, and today clarity finally hit me.
This is my next song purchase after I delete the cd from my iTunes:
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Dentist this morning with Sag followed by time in the kitchen. The chicken soup proved unwilling to make itself yesterday. The kale salad, too.
However, the tub of dried apricots emptied with wild abandon. Into my belly.
So...I am having some buggy issues with what I think is the Blogger - Chrome interface. I've been using Chrome since I got Lula and have had no issue other than these glitches that are starting to happen when blogging.
So...please pardon the appearance of the previous post. I don't know how to fix it, and after trying for awhile, don't want to spend any more time on it. I am not even sure how some of the glitchiness happened, which is, in a way, more frustrating than when you know you did something wrong that you can't fix.
I have a feeling using a blog template with a white background would solve this particular issue without figuring it out the actual glitch...more of a workaround.
Blogging with another browser, going back to Firefox or giving Safari a try, is another solution.
I don't know if it's because my mood is in disequilibrium like my body is.
Or if it is simply true.
But, lately, I've been feeling boring on the blog.
It's one thing to blithely post the minutiae of one's life feeling comfortable riding a wave of creative buzz...and being boring to others.
But, the moments of faltering, when the buzz fades away and you find yourself googling fair trade underwear in the quiet space just before midnight (rather than tumbling into bed like your body is prodding you to do) and think about blogging about it...awkward.
Things (tend to) look a bit better in the morning.
But, then you realize you are going to post pictures of what you ate...again.
Whatevs. Like I said yesterday, I will keep doing and moving and not think about it all too much.
Breakfast: leftover cauliflower fried "rice" scrambled with a beautiful pastured egg and a side of fresh guac (avocado mashed with garlic powder, kosher salt, European pepper, hand torn cilantro and a squeeze of lime juice). That empty space on the plate is calling out for some sort of lovely garnish...something pickled would have been perfect...
I dug out Mr. Coffee. Whilst cleaning out the fridge yesterday I came across some Irving Farm, hazelnut coffee. Since it was ground for drip and since the truth is that my lazy ass is more suited toward making a pot of coffee rather than futzing with the French press, I unlazily climbed the step ladder to bring Mr. Coffee down, scrubbed a weirdly greasy coat of dust off of him, searched for the filters I knew were somewhere and made myself a pot of hazelnut. It had been so long that I forgot to put in a little extra water. (As it was, I was lucky there were measurement instructions on the side of the bag and that I could muster the brain cells to multiply and divide as needed.)
My morning cuppa had a bit of a bite to it, but it is sweet, sweet hazelnut, yo (elixir to chick nation).
The underwear. Back when we were in Sacramento, I ordered a batch of black organic cotton undies from Maggie's Organics. They were discounted because they were slightly irregular. I have loved and worn these undies to their very last fibers. Now, seven or so years later, I have learned that Maggie's no longer carries them. My cheap labor safe organic high quality comfortable ones are no more. And I am in pretty serious need of new unders. I am vacillating between getting cheap labor questionable quality/comfort questionable ones vs. expensive labor questionable quality/comfort much less questionable ones vs. expensive labor safe/organic quality/comfort questionable ones.
Boring but true. (If I was geekier, I'd slap up a chart to make the above clearer.)
Here are two pics I took while waiting for Daniel on the porch yesterday. Our doorbell can be wonky and I wanted to make sure he was welcomed properly after such a feat as his. (He scootered to our house from his...love him.)
When I sat done to write this morning, I thought I'd take a self-portrait of this boring mind. The universe had a funny plan. I discovered the new effects in the updated version of Photobooth in Lula.
Not boring!
It has occurred to me that "winterness" is settling in. I have had many bouts of/dances with SAD in my adult life (a breather happened during our two years in sunny/warm Sacramento). Though I am in so much of a better place these days than winters past, I think my body may be nudging me to pay some attention. Mornings and waking up, in particular, have been very challenging. Regardless of how much sleep I've gotten, and the generally good quality of that sleep, it has been hard and slow going getting up and awake.
It was a pleasant surprise to create a new iTunes on Lula (the laptop). I am not a techie through and through and there's plenty I don't know. Like, when you get a new device, the iTunes from your former device(s) do not magically appear on the new one (despite your singular iTunes account).
The last few days I've been listening to (2000+) songs on "shuffle" mode so I never know what's going to hit me. It has been loads of fun, especially with additions from Cap and Stephen's collections.
This song, from Solomon Burke, I think came to me via Treme. I may have posted it here before. I love the lilting swing of it. And his voice...smoove yet warm...very nice.
I spent hours and hours today adding music to Lula's iTunes.
I now have over 2000 songs uploaded. I culled from three collections: Stephen's, Cap's and my own (thanks, guys!)
Follow up projects will be:
• creating some playlists by genre to expose the kids to some more stuff
• going through my old music library on the desktop (nearly 3000 songs), and vetting anything I don't want/need anymore
• making a decision about whether to store Lula's 2000+ on a flash drive rather than her hard drive
• going through my CDs and uploading songs from that collection
It was really nice hearing a bunch of songs, albeit in snippets, as I added them to Lula. Some real gems, most of them from the past. Here's one that never fails to remind me of Marcella, a good friend from Hunter. We became friends when I was fourteen and are still in touch today.
I am doing a happy dance inside and out. Lula, my new laptop, is right here on my lap. Yipeeeeee!
In other news, I am feeling a multitude of illin' symptoms this morning (headache, bloat, fatigue) and am ready to push myself a bit to leap to the next place of well being. On January 2, I will start a Whole 30. (Vinny is shooting to start a Dragon's Way class in February which would be a nice dovetail for me.)
I am stoked to begin exploring the way Lula will streamline my ideas and thoughts into actions and "finishes". She is bringing a tingle of efficiency and excitement to my process. Thank you, thank you to Cap and the kids for making this happen.
If you've been reading this blog for awhile, then you know I am a Mac user (have been my whole computer life). I love Apple products. My devotion has been unconditional...despite my normal wariness towards things institutional.
I read this piece today about "The Agony and Ecstasy of Steve Jobs". If you want to keep drinking the Apple-flavored Kool-Aid, don't read it. But, if you want to know the hard truth about Apple's failings in the integrity department, then check it out.
I am still hoping for a new (MacBook Air) laptop for Christmas. But, I am also going to write to the new Apple CEO to express my dismay over the company's utter disregard for fair and ethical labor practices in their Chinese factories.
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