Mitsi

I saw Mitsi today!  We had a good old NYC foodie time: coffee at Dean and Deluca and lunch at The Carnegie Deli.  Afterward we took a short stroll over to Central Park despite the temps in the 20s.  It was so good to see her, I miss her already.

Alchemy

Day 2 of sugar-, honey- and maple syrup-free.  And grain-free.  And legume-free.

I guess my body is missing the sugars from honey and maple syrup because for the first time in months, I am craving grains!  I am drinking coconut water, which is Paleo approved, though for purposes of balance I am making an effort not to exceed a can per day.

Coffee with what's left of the milk has helped fill the void of tea with honey and milk.

In addition to the improved sleep of last night, I can feel that at 8pm, I am much more alert than I usually am this time of night.  I also feel lighter...and like I can feel myself in my body.  That I can feel my body as a distinct entity...that my Self is not just a blobby consciousness floating around in the air.  This is not a usual feeling for me.

But, I am also hungry despite having had 2 eggs scrambled in the last of the grass-fed butter, a serving of Rogan Josh (lamb stew) and half an avocado for dinner about two hours ago.

I am sipping some coconut water, but may have to eat something again.

As the dairy starts to dry up I am going to have to lean more on yummy veggie preparations to give my meals more variety...in flavor, texture and color.  However, I have not been planning and prepping for that.  Tomorrow, we head into the city to visit with Mitsi and then my Dad.  We have appointments with Vinny in the afternoon and then common meal at night.

Thursday some time will be devoted to recipe searching, veggie shopping and cooking.  Otherwise, I'm toast.  Pun intended.

Peace and love.

P.S.  I am having one of the easiest periods ever.

Coconut aminos almonds

To stick to the Whole 30/strictly Paleo thang, I decided to roast almonds and sprinkle them with coconut aminos rather than the usual Bragg's or wheat-free tamari.  I'll admit, it took a few hours for my palate to adjust, but once it did, yum.  These coconut aminos almonds are more delicate and delectable than their soy flavored counterparts.

I can now find coconut aminos in Whole Foods.  Though, of course, I discovered this after I'd ordered a bottle online.  It's a great alternative for anyone who needs or wants to be soy-free.

These almonds were toasted in the oven at 350º for 8 minutes (I found the originally recommended 375º to produce almonds too on-the-edge-of-burnt for my taste).  They were immediately sprinkled with coconut aminos and stirred (ratio of almonds/aminos=1 cup: 1Tbs).  I shook the almonds back out onto the baking sheet to cool.

Bon appetit!

2011 holdovers

I have a pile of library books from the end of 2011 that just got smaller.  Today I read two graphic novels: Empire State and Three Shadows.

I love graphic novels.  They are quick reads that pack powerful punches.  The complementary combination of compacted words and sprawling visuals often yield an exponentially positive result.  I imagine they are to me what poetry is to others.  (Poetry continues to grow on me.)

Three Shadows was the better one of these two.  If you want to try one, read this one.  It was riveting and moving.

I am moving onto Linger, the second book in the Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy.  I'll get to my 2012 books eventually!

Lovin' the shuffle

It was a pleasant surprise to create a new iTunes on Lula (the laptop).  I am not a techie through and through and there's plenty I don't know.  Like, when you get a new device, the iTunes from your former device(s) do not magically appear on the new one (despite your singular iTunes account).

The last few days I've been listening to (2000+) songs on "shuffle" mode so I never know what's going to hit me.  It has been loads of fun, especially with additions from Cap and Stephen's collections.

This song, from Solomon Burke, I think came to me via Treme.  I may have posted it here before.  I love the lilting swing of it.  And his voice...smoove yet warm...very nice.

Enjoy!

Sugarless sleep

I am grateful.  Just 24 hours of no honey and maple syrup on top of no "regular" sugar resulted in a noticeably better night of sleep.  

When my body hit the bed I felt a distinct relaxing spread throughout me.  In retrospect, I can see how my body received a clear signal to rest simply by getting horizontal in the dark.  (As opposed to "time to think" or "time to daydream" or "time to ruminate" or "time to stare blankly into the dark".)

I fell asleep very quickly.  Quicker than usual.

When I woke up, I wasn't bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  (Will I ever be again?  We shall see...)  But, I felt rested in a way that I haven't for a long time.  It wasn't a chore to open my eyes.  I felt lighter inside. And, again, I could feel a distinct physical connection and relationship between my body and the bed.

There is something about sugar which cuts my mind-body connection.  Literally.

(Incidentally, I went with the photo above because my skin also feels different this morning.  It is super soft and supple.  So interesting!  I don't know that I look "brighter", but rubbing my fingers on my face feels nice.)

A first

Sag has discovered his first not-just-for-kids tv show.  It is Once Upon A Time.  They aired a a marathon of the first six episodes yesterday that we taped.  Tonight, he and I watched the pilot episode.  The show begins with what we all think of as the end of the Snow White story.

But, rather than getting their happy ending, the Evil Queen catches up with the happy couple and places a massive curse on all of the Enchanted Forest.  The key to reversing the curse lies in the daughter that is born to Snow White and Prince Charming moments before all hell breaks loose in the kingdom.

The baby is magically whisked away...and ends up on the side of a freeway in our modern times, in somewhere U.S.A.  Fast forward 28 years and she is a grown woman with issues.  On her birthday, the son she gave up for adoption ten years earlier, shows up on her doorstep.  Somehow, he has landed in Storybrook, Maine, where the denizens of the Enchanted Forest all ended up.  It is a place where time has stood still for 28 years...the Evil Queen having robbed all the citizens of their happy endings.

The boy is determined to bring her back to Storybrook.  As it turns out, it is her destiny to return to her people, 28 years after the spell was cast, to save them and restore the kingdom.  But, none of the fairytale folk remember a thing.

It's an interesting set up and Sag is finding it quite fascinating.  He can't quite keep up with all the details (and the sound, incidentally was terrible...it was hard for me to hear the dialogue over the background music way too often).  He had a tendency to want to know who characters were immediately.  I explained to him the concept of "build up" and "back story".

I am looking forward to seeing where and how this goes.  He's a very visual kid and he enjoys figuring out how things work.  He's definitely got an eye out for effects, as well as, storytelling.  In the meantime, it's fun to have found something just for us.

Words, truth, story

Loved this so much I'm subscribing to his blog again.  Loved this so much I'm subscribing to her blog again.  And thus, my Google Reader expands.  Time to trim soon.

SimpliBudget

I've been looking for money management type software on and off for years.  But, nothing has ever fit the, er, bill.  Over the weekend, it occurred to me that I might find something in the Apple App Store.  You see, when you have a Mac, compatibility can be a significant issue in the PC world.

I present to you: SimpliBudget.

Before anyone gets too excited, SimpliBudget is very basic and not much more than something you could slap together yourself if you had the desire, time and energy.  But, for 99¢, it does just enough to streamline the process of creating a personal budget in your computer to make it worth it (for me).

I input some figures and categories this afternoon and now have a budget going for the month.  It has quickly brought spending into sharp focus.  January has been designated a "No Spend" month for non-essentials.  It's interesting to challenge what we think of as "essential" as we buckle down to conserve some of our financial resources.

Hmm, I suppose our personal allowances should be slashed this month...are allowances for "fun" essential?  I think not when we have so much at our disposal already...

Cusp

Creaking along the cusp of routine today.  Rust has formed.  Eschewing sugar, honey and maple syrup till February 1.  Dairy is going, too, but I decided to finish the dairy I have rather than chucking it.  My big job today will be a thorough cleaning of the kitchen.  My new Lula iTunes will make good company.

Also on my mind: homeschooling, decluttering, Paleo cooking and meal planning...

This photo of our niece, retouched a bit in iPhoto, is my visual mantra of the moment.  Keep moving, in concert with souls who love us and bring us joy, feeling the whoosh of fresh air as we dance through Life.

I need a little somethin' somethin' as things adjust inside me and outside of me.  This is a good place to start.

Peace and love.

Burning the old year

Just read a delicious poem.  You can read it here.

Cuttin' it close

Well, well, well...I knit a cowl tonight.  There were a couple of rusty moments casting on and binding off, but otherwise, I was pleasantly surprised at how basic knitting is much like riding a bike.  It seems, you don't forget.

I realized this afternoon that I had completely forgotten about a Secret Santa happening tomorrow later today (it's 2am!) when we gather with my side of the family.  So, after we had our New Year's Eve dinner (I ended up eating Chinese food...more on that later), I searched Ravelry for quick projects.  With a couple of patterns in mind, I then stash dove for inspiration.  Then, I dug deeper into Ravelry for yarn-specific projects (I love that website).

Just over an hour later, I had a free cowl pattern downloaded onto Lula and cast on some very nice Debbie Bliss Cashmerino DK.  It was 9pm.

While knitting on the couch, the boys blogged, played Wii, watched Buster Keaton, had ice cream with fresh fruit, and watched The Three Stooges.  I paused long enough to toast in the new year with a glass of sparkling cider.

Then, Cap tucked the kids in and he wandered off to his laptop and chair.  I watched a repeat of Saturday Night Live that came on.

I finished weaving in the ends as SNL ended.  The cowl took just under five hours.  It's called Cuttin' It Close and was a perfect project for someone who hasn't knit in nearly a year and who wanted to make a fast handknit to gift to someone special.  (The name of the pattern was so apt.)

This isn't a fancy knit, but as is so often the case, good yarn transforms the finished object into something greater than its parts.  This was my first time knitting with Debbie Bliss Cashmerino DK and I thought it was lovely.  The cowl has both loft and cushy substance.  And it's warm.

Happy new year wishes to you.  I hope 2012 is lovely, warm and has both loft and cushy substance.

Cuttin' It Close cowl

yarn: Debbie Bliss DK Cashmerino (held double)

needles: 10.5 US, 16 inch circulars

gauge: 3.5 sts/inch (yep, I swatched)

started: 12/31/11

finished: 1/1/2012

Boys blogging

The kids have started blogs.  You can find them here and here.  Subscribe to their RSS feeds to keep up with new posts!

Baby come back

We are back from a lovely trip north.  We stayed with Jay and her family.  There was lots of cousin love and Party Down with Jay and Cap in the evenings.  (Amy left to go on silent retreat for a few days.)

We spent time with Cap's mom, dad, dad's companion, aunt and cousin (Alexandra and her girls).  We also saw Karen and her kids which was a rare treat.  Jamie graced us with her godmotherly presence twice in three days.

I didn't take many photos...here are my three favorites.

There is a seed of something growing and pushing, against some resistance, in my photography self.  One thing I've been considering is doing a photo-a-day kind of journaling.  We'll see.

While away I wandered "off the Paleo reservation" as Nom Nom Paleo would say.  I continued eating white potatoes by partaking of latkes again, this time made by Jay.  (I started eating them again when Cap made a huge batch of latkes Christmas Eve.)  Then she made some yummy white bean soup which I ate twice. Then, Karen made white potatoes with Penzey's Northwoods seasoning and they smelled so good I had to have some.  Then, yesterday, we had lunch with Cap's mom and I went ahead and ate my whole lobster roll.  For dinner, we rolled into our favorite Japanese restaurant at 8:30pm straight from the road.  I had some toro sashimi and a Mets roll, complete with tempura bits, rice and soy sauce.

I am amazed at how clearly I can feel the negative effects from these various bites of starch, legume, gluten and grain.  And when I think of all the other bites I could have had, of grains and sugar, bites I used to take without a second thought, I get a sense of the spectacular snowball effect I have been living with for years.

It is bad enough now that I knew this morning I didn't want Chinese food, our traditional New Year's Eve fare, for dinner tonight.  (I'd been looking forward to the Crab Rangoon).  So, instead, I will make some Rogan Josh for myself.

Interesting aside.  In the past, when I have eliminated foods from my diet and then had them again, they have tasted really good and wonderful.  Not so with the rice or the bread.  They tasted...ordinary.  I hadn't missed them and they didn't explode in my mouth with pleasure.

My head is fuzzy and my energy is low.  Biding my time till the poison leaves my system again.

Tucked in

Watching Wanda Sykes (vintage 2003) with Cap and Jay.  Feeling happy.  Just like old times.  I think this photo is funny.  My head is enormous, Cap's is small and Jay's is tiny!  I am pretty tired and am heading to bed.  Our drive here last night was brutal due to rain and wind, in the dark, for five hours.

I am feeling tucked in, spending time back in the mother state with family and friends.

Peace and love.

When there's something wrong

I have been thinking that, along with reading more in 2012, I'd like to watch more documentaries.

Last night, I wanted to watch something light and funny.  A movie.  But, I couldn't find anything that called to me.  So, I popped over to HBO's on demand documentaries folder.  There was one that intrigued me right away.  It was called There's Something Wrong With Aunt Diane.  (The link will take you to a New York Times review of the film.)

It was an investigative documentary that probed into the "whys" of a devastating auto accident on the Taconic Parkway two summers ago.  The accident, which was caused by one driver in a minivan, killed eight people.  Among the fatalities were four children...the very young daughter and three nieces of the offending driver ("Aunt Diane"), who was also killed.  The other victims were all in one car...they just couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

I found the description of the film compelling and watched it.  About halfway through, I began feeling some dread.  But, I wanted to finish watching.  About three fourths of the way through, there was little doubt as to whether there had been an error made by the toxicology team who had determined that "Aunt Diane" had had high amounts of both alcohol and pot in her system at the time of her death.

But, by then, the filmmakers had also raised, skillfully, a number of other questions, which provided some serious food for thought: about childhood trauma, women's psychology, reactions to unsafe driving engendered in us as children (instincts) and adults (societal mores)...about marriage, gender roles and living with grief and surviving tragedy.

In the end, I was pretty upset...and very shaken by one image in particular, from the accident scene.  The film was well made, in my opinion.  And I don't judge the filmmakers for using the image that really stayed with me as I lay awake in bed hours later, freaked out that it was so crystal clear in my mind.  But, it was hard.

And it's got me thinking.  Do I try to stay away from documentaries that are potentially going to be difficult to watch, for whatever personal reasons, as I try to watch a documentary a month in 2012?  Or do I just roll with it...experience the upset that life sometimes brings and work through it?

Ultimately (this may sound like rationalizing an irrational impulse), I think documentaries (like other forms of art) take on the brunt of a particular kind of bearing witness.  And, it is also for this reason, my own commitment to bearing witness, that I tend not to shy away from stories that are sometimes very hard to listen to/sit with.

I am a fan of darker themes in the fictional movies and books I consume.  But, documentaries are much closer to real life...and I realized firsthand last night how the visual format provides much less filter between me and the darkness.

Barbra has already recommended a documentary that won't be hard to watch at all :-)  I think I'll make that my January selection and go from there.  I'd welcome other recommendations, too!

Moving music

I spent hours and hours today adding music to Lula's iTunes.

I now have over 2000 songs uploaded.  I culled from three collections: Stephen's, Cap's and my own (thanks, guys!)

Follow up projects will be:

• creating some playlists by genre to expose the kids to some more stuff

• going through my old music library on the desktop (nearly 3000 songs), and vetting anything I don't want/need anymore

• making a decision about whether to store Lula's 2000+ on a flash drive rather than her hard drive

• going through my CDs and uploading songs from that collection

It was really nice hearing a bunch of songs, albeit in snippets, as I added them to Lula.  Some real gems, most of them from the past.  Here's one that never fails to remind me of Marcella, a good friend from Hunter.  We became friends when I was fourteen and are still in touch today.

   

Lula has landed

I am doing a happy dance inside and out.  Lula, my new laptop, is right here on my lap.  Yipeeeeee!

In other news, I am feeling a multitude of illin' symptoms this morning (headache, bloat, fatigue) and am ready to push myself a bit to leap to the next place of well being.  On January 2, I will start a Whole 30.  (Vinny is shooting to start a Dragon's Way class in February which would be a nice dovetail for me.)

I am stoked to begin exploring the way Lula will streamline my ideas and thoughts into actions and "finishes".  She is bringing a tingle of efficiency and excitement to my process.  Thank you, thank you to Cap and the kids for making this happen.

Off to delve into Whole 30 resources...

Love and light, y'all!

Christmas eve

Tiina and her family came over to celebrate the holiday.  The dinner table was a lovely melange of cultural traditions and flavors: braised beef short ribs (with wheat-free tamari and coconut crystals), kale salad with date and anchovy dressing, latkes, sushi rice, jello, lanttulaatikko (rutabaga casserole), porkanalaatikko (carrot casserole), rossoli (winter salad), joulutortut (Christmas star cookies) and pakastepuolukat karamellikastikkeella (frozen cranberries with caramel sauce).

Santa tracker on the computer screen.

It was wonderful fun having them over.  Amazing to think of the friendship born of a fateful meeting on a playground, by chance, five years ago.  Both our families have Finnish and Japanese blood woven into them, another coincidence.

I'm pooped.  Did not sleep well last night.  I think the combination of sleep deprivation and a bit of sugar intake at dinner (the coconut crystals, the pickles and pickled beets in the rossoli and the caramel sauce Tiina made special for me with agave and maple syrup) dealt my system a hit.  After our friends left I crumpled into a chair feeling simultaneously caffeinated and leaden.

In our little family, we continue a Christmas Eve tradition Cap grew up with.  Everyone chooses one small present from under the tree and opens it.  I opened a handknit mini-sweater ornament.  Cap opened a frame photo of him with the kids at Fenway Park.  Gem opened a set of watercolor pencils and a pack of watercolor paper ATCs (artist trading cards).  Sag opened this...

headlamp!

Our gifts remind us that we are loved, life is fun and we have much to be thankful for.

Elving

I like the word elving.  Google can't find a definition of it in one hit/page...it thinks I want to know what delving means.

I enjoy finding signs of elving...

and participating in the larger elving community...

Wishing you continued delights, elvish or otherwise, as we welcome Winter and its seasonal specialties.