Tuesday 10

• combining my interests in Finland, aging and nature, this photo series rocks my world.

• I've been on a documentary kick and have loved this, this and this.

• Hyperbole and a Half has so entranced Sag he rued not bringing his gift cards to the bookstore yesterday when he spotted it on the shelves.  oh, and the shop was having "Cider Monday" with a warm cider station and mulling spices greeting you as you walked in!

• speaking of which, this article helped clarify my issues, critically, with the frenzy of consumerism associated with this time of year.  the underbelly of the beast is incredibly ugly, the beast a force of destruction.  I have taken a step back and am considering my purchases (and how I purchase) even more carefully.

• speaking of which, I do rely on an online vendor for our holiday photo cards.  I grew up with my mug smiling out of a Kodak photo card, every Christmas, literally since I was born.  Kodak is no more and we rode the tide over to Shutterfly (who took over Kodak customers) a couple of years ago.  long story short, this year's card arrived (all 150) and the text of the message was difficult to read.  I gave them a call, the rep took a look on her screen, agreed immediately and issued us credit for 150 more cards and their most express level of shipping!  excellent, excellent customer service.  (because I am a flibbertigibbet I realized as soon as I clicked "order", when reordering, that the edited cards look Halloween-y because I went with the thickest font in black (overcompensation for the original delicate font in white) on an orange background.)

• the Hubble Space Telescope Advent Calendar!

• some really lovely illustrated children's books and picture books.  I used to collect them in my life before kids...some of these are quite enticing.

• I follow National Geographic photos on Instagram and Facebook.  if you are not on social media, check out their "Photo of the Day" on the website...you won't regret it.  their photos are stunning.

• "because when I am tired and frazzled, what I'm missing most is my own attention."  read that line recently and it hit a chord.  the author was Jennifer Louden and I now have two of her books (one borrowed from a friend, one from the library) waiting to be perused.

• I kind of can't get enough of this shot I took from the car and processed in Instagram.  it's a Plympton cranberry bog in late afternoon Thanksgiving Day light.

Peace and love.

True stories

Wow.  This graphic novel was amazeballs.  It was an unflinching look at aging and dying, parental and familial ties, and the gifts and challenges of the passage of time.  There were moments of incredible joy and wonder, true rewards for sticking with often heartbreaking and difficult terrain.

I am feeling slightly depressive.  I think, mostly, due to the time change.  As I mentioned yesterday, I am sensitive to the decreasing light this time of year,  The shift of daylight savings takes a bit of a toll on me.

I've noticed lately that I seem drawn, inordinately, to consuming art that is on the dark side.  I am not questioning it, there is, as they say, no accounting for taste.  It would be more accurate to say that it's occurred to me lately that perhaps if I sought out lighter fare, it might help tip the balance of my mood and/or perspective...which has felt a bit on the raw/rough/harsh side of things.  

But, I love what I love and so I recently watched a documentary about The Donner Party.  It was riveting and I learned a lot.  It says something when the most shocking aspects of a real life story had nothing to do with the consumption, by humans, of human flesh.

I have Blackfish on tap.  I have a feeling this one is going to gut me so I have been waiting for "the right moment" to watch it.

There is an empowerment that comes with bearing witness.

What are you reading/watching?

Peace.

Whole30 :: Day 11

Kitchen 2.0.  

We like rearranging furniture and have done so numerous times in this apartment.  But, the kitchen, with its limited space, three windows and a pantry (in the right far corner not in the picture), has remained as is for seven years.  This has been a teeny thorn in my side and I have spent considerable energy trying to figure out a way we could make a change.

Since we had to empty and move the old fridge out, Cap pounced on the opportunity (while cleaning, he's rock solid, that one) to re-envision the space.  We love how shifting the fridge opens up the space and invites the natural flight to flood in.  (The breakfast bar will slide in and out of its spot as needed.)

I am feeling inspired to do another declutter/reorg of the kitchen.  I may even finally put up some curtains or shades.  I would so love to put a table in there, but there just isn't the space.

For now, I am breathing easy and am very tired.  This morning was a flurry of farmer's market with Kelly followed by chatting with iced coffees followed by clearing out the fridge and freezer and toting bags and bags over to Danielle's basement fridge followed by feeding the kids as the delivery guys arrived.  I ate somewhere in there, but a little too late.  I was a jittery time bomb by the time the fridge was being carried up and had to hide away for some introvert time.

A few asides:

• so great to have friends who bear witness.  Kelly noticed that I have dropped some bulk.  on the advice/directive of the book, I have not weighed myself.  it is notoriously difficult for me to truly see how I appear, so I appreciated the feedback.

• I am thinking of getting a serious haircut but am wondering if my much thinned head of hair will make a good cut too challenging.

• been turned onto a delectable online clothing store.

• love this photo from a 1970 Jet magazine.

• appreciated this piece.  deeply.  considering it.

• this recipe for Primal Thai Beef caught my eye.  bet it would be good with pork or chicken or turkey, too.

• sad but important essay.

Peace and love.

A moment (or longer) of silence

When there is no 12A

Don't tell my kids, but deep down inside, I kind of believe, at this point, that the earth...or at least the United States, is going to hell in a hand basket.

A small, yet telling, example.  Yesterday, Cap was reassigned to a seat in a row that did not exist on the plane he was boarding.

Down with bureaucracy!

When there's something wrong

I have been thinking that, along with reading more in 2012, I'd like to watch more documentaries.

Last night, I wanted to watch something light and funny.  A movie.  But, I couldn't find anything that called to me.  So, I popped over to HBO's on demand documentaries folder.  There was one that intrigued me right away.  It was called There's Something Wrong With Aunt Diane.  (The link will take you to a New York Times review of the film.)

It was an investigative documentary that probed into the "whys" of a devastating auto accident on the Taconic Parkway two summers ago.  The accident, which was caused by one driver in a minivan, killed eight people.  Among the fatalities were four children...the very young daughter and three nieces of the offending driver ("Aunt Diane"), who was also killed.  The other victims were all in one car...they just couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

I found the description of the film compelling and watched it.  About halfway through, I began feeling some dread.  But, I wanted to finish watching.  About three fourths of the way through, there was little doubt as to whether there had been an error made by the toxicology team who had determined that "Aunt Diane" had had high amounts of both alcohol and pot in her system at the time of her death.

But, by then, the filmmakers had also raised, skillfully, a number of other questions, which provided some serious food for thought: about childhood trauma, women's psychology, reactions to unsafe driving engendered in us as children (instincts) and adults (societal mores)...about marriage, gender roles and living with grief and surviving tragedy.

In the end, I was pretty upset...and very shaken by one image in particular, from the accident scene.  The film was well made, in my opinion.  And I don't judge the filmmakers for using the image that really stayed with me as I lay awake in bed hours later, freaked out that it was so crystal clear in my mind.  But, it was hard.

And it's got me thinking.  Do I try to stay away from documentaries that are potentially going to be difficult to watch, for whatever personal reasons, as I try to watch a documentary a month in 2012?  Or do I just roll with it...experience the upset that life sometimes brings and work through it?

Ultimately (this may sound like rationalizing an irrational impulse), I think documentaries (like other forms of art) take on the brunt of a particular kind of bearing witness.  And, it is also for this reason, my own commitment to bearing witness, that I tend not to shy away from stories that are sometimes very hard to listen to/sit with.

I am a fan of darker themes in the fictional movies and books I consume.  But, documentaries are much closer to real life...and I realized firsthand last night how the visual format provides much less filter between me and the darkness.

Barbra has already recommended a documentary that won't be hard to watch at all :-)  I think I'll make that my January selection and go from there.  I'd welcome other recommendations, too!