Put one foot in front of the other

Kale salad.  So delicious.  And green.  But...but...but...I washed the kale this morning and then left it to dry between tea towels while I did a bunch of things (made a pot roast, visited with Leo and Danielle, made lunch for the kids, drove them to a playdate, picked up some things at the supermarket (see below), confirmed with Tiina that she's feeling a bit better today and didn't need dinner stuff, drove Cap to work, pre-ordered a book for Gem at the bookshop in honor of his Name Day tomorrow, picked up the kids)...and then, it took me over an hour to put the salad together!

I was pretty Zen about it.  Took my time like the manatee that I am and ignored the voice that piped up every now and again, the "this is so frikking boring!" voice.  Over an hour, pulling the leaves off their ribs, slicing them in ribbons, chopping garlic, chopping dates, chopping anchovies, zesting oranges, zesting a lemon...

I am looking forward to eating it.  For the next couple of days.  The kale holds the salad up really well and it tastes even better the day after because the dressing gets absorbed nicely.

We have a new mission, Cap and I.  To see if we can increase proteins and fats in Gem's diet.  He is growing taller, but hasn't gained any weight since last Summer.  One of our ideas is to make him protein- and fat-rich smoothies.  He loves a good fruit smoothie.  We'll see how this goes.  (This path may lead us to buy something I have been coveting for awhile: a Vitamix!)

(For the record, I think this is a positive exploration and I am not worried.  Cap and my brother were both very skinny as kids.  And, because Gem has been allergic to milk since he was eight weeks old, he doesn't consume most of the typical protein- and fat-rich foods that kids eat in our society.  Can he stand to be eating more protein and fat?  I think so.  Is he unhealthily skinny?  I don't think so.  Let the fun begin.)

Uncertain

I may be laying low, electronically, this week.  I am down, emotionally.  I feel like my energy is sapped.  Not sure why or how.  I want to throw what energy I do have into getting some IRL (in real life) stuff done: getting back on track with the more structured homeschooling, cooking up some vegetable dishes and preparing and filing our taxes.

But you know, there is always stuff that needs to get done.  Something else is going on.  Maybe some new and complex PMS, maybe some seasonal change chaos, I don't know.  Bear with me if I don't check in here for a bit.

Peace and love.

Moving along

The other night, Cap introduced the kids to a game from his teenhood, Villains and Vigilantes.  They had fun.

Early this afternoon, Cap took the kids out back to play.  Gem loves finding living treasures and bringing them in.  (Spring has definitely sprung around here.  Much like it has in Florida though are pollen hasn't quite kicked in yet.)

Mid-afternoon we headed out to Route 46, a roadway I tend to avoid like the plague.  But, there were Skylanders figures to pursue and a car to test drive, so we killed the proverbial two birds.

Sigh.  Part of me was hoping riding in the Prius wagon would leave little to no doubt that the Outback was the vehicle for us.  Nope.  The Prius was just a good fit enough that we now have some thinking to do.  

The Outback is cushier and more enjoyable to drive and ride in.  It also has excellent safety ratings.  (The Prius' federal safety ratings have not yet been posted.)  The Prius is comfortable, simpler and more utilitarian in its lines and feel.  Perfect for tooling around locally, which is what we need our car for 75-80% of the time.  And the gas mileage is, as you likely know, through the roof (44mpg/city driving!)

First world problem, I know.  I'm not complaining.  I suppose the next step is to take the kids to Subaru so they can ride in the Outback.  Then do some math and hard thinking (cost vs. comfort vs. safety) about whether we want to buy for the predominant city driving or the more serious highway driving we do to visit family, the occasional vacation, and Cap's professional road trips.

One last thought...the Prius wagon is, technically, a first generation vehicle.  However, I think it is essentially a Prius that has been elongated.  I believe the technology used "inside" is not new in it of itself.  Would buying it be risky?

I just googled "route 46 new jersey" and this photo was the first one to pop up.  Traffic wasn't this bad today, but it is a craptastic byway that is clogged with stores, parking lots, industry and cars...and I hate driving on it!

Car talk

Cap and I dropped the kids off at a friend's house for a gaming party and went to test drive some Subarus.  We met a lovely salesman and took spins in the Impreza (hatchback/wagon), the Forester and the Outback.  (We are bummed Subaru no longer makes our car, the Legacy wagon.) 

The Outback was sweet.  It is bigger and more luxe than our current car.  The interior was comfortable and roomy.  (I rode in the back because it is critical that the backseat be comfortable for our growing boys.)  Cap said it felt good to drive.  

Our next step will be to test drive the Prius wagon.  If the wagon is not a good match for us, we will likely go with the Outback.  If the wagon is a very good match, we'll have some thinking to do.  The wagon is a first ever generation and, so far, all opinions shared with us have urged us not to get a first generation car.

Before we test drove, I was leaning towards the Impreza wagon because it gets excellent gas mileage.  But once we drove it, we realized that it would be too small, comfort-wise, for family trips of any length.  Also, the lighter frame, which makes the better gas mileage possible, made for bumpier handling according to my driver.

I'm glad the process is rolling.  As I said to Cap, it was remarkable what a crucial difference it made to actually get in and out of these cars.  Scrolling through websites and lists of features, while fun, can take you away from the bottom line: a car is a car is a car.  Most details aren't worth anything if the car doesn't feel right when you drive it.

I was kind of shocked to meet a salesman who was down-to-earth and easy to hang out with.  (The owner of the dealership fit the negative stereotype of car salesman much more.)  If we do end up going with the Outback I will actually make an effort to buy it through our dude today.  I liked him that much.

After we picked the kids up, Sag flipped through the brochure we'd received.  He really liked the way the Outback looked and eagerly noted that it comes with an entertainment option.  (He so wants dvd screens for the backseat.)  He has been taking the impending loss of our current car (the only car he has ever known) very hard.  I was thrilled that he likes the idea of an Outback enough to banish his sad thoughts away.

Yum

More yum from the kitchen.

I fried up some of Anthony's pork sausage for the first time and...ooh la la. They are delectable and not for the faint of heart.  Very hearty.

Thankfully, my head has cleared up enough that I realized in time I could sauté my mushrooms in the sausage pan.  I dropped in a big pat of grass-fed butter and as the fungi sizzled I scraped up the good brown stuff (sausage crusties and olive oil).

My jaw dropped in amazed pleasure.  These 'shrooms reminded me of a tv episode I watched long ago...Jamie Oliver and his trusted sous chef Gennaro tromping around in the woods, picking mushrooms and hunkering down to the ground and cooking them right up.  I'd never seen mushrooms look so good.

Till now.  (The image is a bit overexposed.  In real life, the mushrooms are a much richer color.)

Peace and love.

Crossing the schism

I took a bite and thought: take a picture!

pastured eggs, sun-dried toms, pine nuts, Parm, grass-fed butter

I'm back.  I'm feeling better.  I'm my (other) self again.  I like to think of this as my true self.  But my thoughts of yesterday have me thinking.  If I am to be honest and fair, when I feel crappy and the thought of cooking anything is anathema, that's me too.

I don't know if it's because I'm sensitive...or kinesthetic...or just mental...but when I am any of my selves, it is as if I have jumped a chasm, entered a separate and different world.  Schismatic, yes.

All my aches are gone and I fell asleep much easier last night.  When I made dinner for myself (Cap's doing dinners for him and the kids this week), there was none of the angst about what to eat, what I could eat, what I shouldn't eat.  I sautéed some zucchini half-moons in grass-fed butter with a handful of walnuts, Kosher salt, some grinds of black and white pepper, and red pepper flakes.  Yum.

This morning, one of my new favorite ingredients, sun-dried tomatoes, sang out to me.  I made the scramble above and was delighted.

Peace and good nosh to you.

Divided existence

I took Julie's advice and have started a lighter book.  (It has elicited some deep thinking, maybe I'm a hopeless case.)

From My Korean Deli:

"A double life.  A divided existence, schismatic even.  Let me give you a bit of advice about such endeavors: they are even trickier than they look.  You must be careful.  One half is always threatening to swallow the other, to consume it, to wipe it out.  Sometimes a double existence is more than impractical; it is fundamentally an impossible feat---a folly---and in the end you may have to give one side up."

This was something that the author's boss, George Plimpton, said to him when he heard the author was in the process of buying a deli with his wife and her family.  It reminded me of my decision to leave my job mid-school year, after Sag was born.

That decision, as unexpected, shocking and dramatic as it was, was actually not a difficult one.  I knew in my bones that I could not continue to be both mother and teacher at that juncture.  It had become, impossible.

What I have been struggling with much more (because there isn't a choice to be made?) is managing what does feel like the single-double-triple-exponential life of a full-time homeschooling homemaker.

There are perks to not being a professional.  To not working out-of-the-house.  I think of this often.

Perks or not, though, for me, it has never been simple.  Or easy.  Beyond the veil of the loss of a professional identity was a world of personality traits, chemical quirks and curveballs (both mental and physical) waiting to reveal themselves more clearly now that I had "more time".

The last decade has been post-career vs. family (or career and family), but I wasn't able to escape the Supermom mindset.  I thought, doubly, that she would be me.  (That thing, not ergo, of "more time".)

Instead, I was baffled.  And ashamed.  Everything excepting being a loving mother was so hard.  There was a lot to juggle and before long the challenges not met in these other departments: managing money, cleaning, having a clear head and heart, threatened my positive self-image as a mother and partner.

As I continue to try to improve myself in these various spheres, I read the excerpt above and thought, in a way, I am now attempting the double life of parenting and self-improvement.  But, I can easily expand the diagram...add homeschooling and it becomes a triple life.  "Self-improvement" splinters easily into numerous branches.

It's exponential.  And all connected.  But, not impossible.

Convergence

There must be a word better than this.  Convergence.  But it'll do.

Reading Blue Nights starting to feel a chafing deep inside.  46 (me) is no 75 (her)...but.  But.  I recognize some of the things of which she writes as she illuminates the process of aging.

Telling it like they see it.  I love memoirs.

She also ruminates on parenting.  Parenting and aging.  In this second of back-to-back memoirs.  The first about her husband dying, the second about their only child dying.

: :    : :    : :

Then there was the light.  Walking through the kids' room to the kitchen, I glanced out one of the windows and something about the light outside, completely diffused inside, brought me right back to sophomore year of college, the springtime.

Muscle memory or present chemistry made me lurch, my limbs enervated.

I was in my room, the first room I lived in that I loved (windows on three sides, off of a bigger room I shared with Wendy and Janet).  I withdrew from three or four of the five classes I took that Spring.  I had no energy.  I don't know if I was depressed.  I don't remember if or how much support I sought from the campus clinic.  I don't know how long it lasted.  Long enough that I put graduating on time in jeopardy.

The convergence made me think: I've had this/these kind/s of issues (season, body, mind, energy) for a long time.  Sophomore spring would have been 1982.

: :    : :    : :

Just thoughts, these thoughts.  Today I lack the chutzpah to create more out of this coming together of disparate yet connected moments.

I do not have a headache today.  Yay.

My body does not ache all over like it did for most of today.  Yay.

I do feel heavy as the densest of elements.  Iridium.  (Thank you, Google.)

: :    : :    : :

Light.  Sometimes it cuts me to the quick.

Bunny choc

Just ordered one for our GFCF kid.  If you know me, you know the shipping cost is killing me, but...in my mind, Easter is all about the solid chocolate bunny. Check out Indie Candy for pretty allergen-free sweets.

Detox

Consciousness is pushing pushing wanting out of the body.  Ache ache and ache.  If I stay very still it's okay.  Though my head feels like it would simply and definitively float away if not tethered by my neck.

Drain sugar and grains drain.

Here's a piece I enjoyed this morning (via Alex Chee on Twitter).  A companion to my remembrance of Gem announcing yesterday in a moment that filled with portent: I am a gamer.

Mindful morsel

A headache started.  It portended more to come.  It's the sugar withdrawal.  

Last week, I took a pill which masked the pain I could still feel as "wrong" just below the surface.

Today. I thought of the dark chocolate bar I had stashed in my desk.  In a brown paper bag, even.  Little blue pill or a square of chocolate?  The decision wasn't as easy as one might think.  There is, that slippery slope.

I chose chocolate.

This bar can be broken up into 30 squares.  I broke off one square and let the medicine do its work.  The headache has been fed for now.

Can I really consume just one square a day?  It will be an exercise in mindfulness this month.

P.S.  Sag does still have strep.  I am trying to stay positive in the face of giving him a stronger antibiotic.  Meditating on the Sun, the balm of the blanket of warmth that has dropped on us from the sky, the rhythm of folding laundry, the pleasure of a new book.

Umami

Have I mentioned this fish sauce yet?  I first heard about it on Nom Nom Paleo's blog.  It is Paleo-friendly because it contains no sugar, unlike other brands.  I kept thinking I might pick it up in the city, but then got tired of waiting for something that wasn't happening, and ordered it directly from the manufacturer, online.

This morning my mind was less noisy.  I practiced for about a minute (oh the aches) and decided to simply be happy that I got some solid shuteye.  I couldn't feel my physical hunger (mentally I knew I had to be somewhat hungry), but I did feel a distinct hunger for nourishment in the form of food.

I sautéed some baby spinach in grass-fed butter, sprinkled Kosher salt on, then scrambled two pastured eggs in with a dash of the fish sauce.  I had some Parmesan cheese ready to top the scramble, but discovered that the fish sauce really did pack a punch of flavor and umami.  No cheese necessary.

Little tips that provide substantive flourish.  Love.

Off to bring Sag to the doc to see if the strep was resistant to the antibiotic or if he has yet another virus on top of everything.  (Drawing on the dregs of my patience here.)

Peace.

Pick up sticks

It's been a day of pieces strewn, yet touching.  No pattern, but a harmony of sorts keeping total chaos at bay.

I almost didn't buy the book of knitting-connected essays.  I tend to forget about my Educator's discount until I am at the register at Barnes and Noble and today, at point of purchase, I was quietly relieved for the 20% discount.  I was worried that the book was going to be cheesy.  Despite a strong review I read or heard, where, I can't recollect.  I was thinking maybe I should have borrowed it from the library.  (I have since requested Rat Girl from the library...not because I don't think it's going to be good, but because I really do need to curb my book buying a bit.)

This afternoon, while the kids played quietly (popped low grade fevers once again) and Cap worked and power napped, I opened the book and started reading.  It is a great collection of memoir-essays.  I am thoroughly enjoying them and am glad I came upon it in the store today.

It is sinking in.  How reading is learning.  I'm a kinesthetic learner and so it is not surprising that my return to ravenous reading after a decade-ish away has led to this gut reaction.  I am alternately tickled and moved by the moments I am having while reading.  Of connection, of recognition, of reflection, of cognition.  I am so appreciative.

Tomorrow, I go cold turkey off sugar and grains.  It's going to be tough for a few days.  I may go quiet, or I may complain loudly.  I have not been enjoying meat and dairy lately.  Consuming them mostly to eat down what we have so it won't go to waste.  So what will I eat?  Nuts, vegetables, fruit and eggs.  Really?  Can't imagine being sustained by that...but, as Spring comes upon us, it is a TCM time for cleansing/rebirthing and lightening the load to help the process along.

My body has me...not skeptical so much as quizzical.

Peace and love.

Rueful shade of blue

Cap is home, which means, secondarily, that so is the car.  So this morning we piled in and drove over to Target where Gem bought a new game he's been saving up for.

We were in the vicinity of Barnes and Noble so I dragged the fam in to sate my new addiction to buying books (I had some gift cards burning a hole in my wallet).  Gem scored again, finding the new 39 Clues book, Cap picked up some music mags and I found one of the three memoirs I was looking for.  (They didn't have this or this in stock.)

On the way home, there was much joy when we realized that Rita's has reopened for the season.

It's another day of taking it easy.  Both kids had little fevers yesterday, they are in recovery...rolling along rather than bouncing back.  I am on the cusp of depressed.  Food-related chemical sensitivity.

Peace.

Thoughts percolating

I swim deeper amongst words...on the pages of books.  And when I come up for air, I am vaguely dissatisfied with what I am writing myself.  The words I string together.

I am somewhat repelled.

: :    : :    : :

I finished Another Bullshit Night In Suck City.  It is incredible.  A precious work of art, heartbreaking and wonderful.

This line tugged at me (p. 292):

To be caught in a notion of self is bad.  To be caught in a notion of nonself is worse.


These words may very well haunt me for a bit.

: :    : :    : :

My right forearm and shoulder have tightened from knitting.  But those spots in my brain are lighting up staccato now.  The ones that shout less than 3 out of the 10 skeins we started with!  The throw will be perfect for the season that is nearly upon us, the one of open windows.  Twilight walks scented by the blossoming octaves of time.

: :    : :    : :

Double feature for one in the front room last night.  Meek's Cutoff and Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.

Meek's was astonishing.  Words and whole passages lost to me as the sound dropped and eyes were lost to the dark space crowding out firelight.  A meditation, a modern take on the Western, sparse...singularly and in its multitudes.  What I did hear and see were beautiful.  Moments given time and weight, simple and profound.

I will have to see it again.  It ended and "what?" sprung immediately to mind.  (This movie was not a good one to be watching while tired and knitting.)

Cirque du Freak was a good antidote.  Visual, funny, it had a lot of heart.  And vampires and freaks, always a good thing in my book.  I'm kind of surprised this movie hasn't been better received.

: :    : :    : :

I wish...something not worth the energy wishing for, but what're you gonna do...I wish that I was not so sensitive in my body...to my body...my physical realm.

The mantra recited (though perhaps not quite believed) is try, try again.

• Descreening in general, but especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

• Practicing Qigong.

• Cutting the cords with grains and sugar.

• Getting outside.

In the meantime, I am disoriented...stunned by the realization that my body is not wanting meat and dairy lately.

: :    : :    : :

Peace, love and breath.

Transition

Yesterday:

Today:

Reading (Birchbark House read aloud among others), Rosetta Stone, loom knitting and sewing, Qigong and homework...easing back into structured activity.

For me, Another Bullshit Night In Suck City (which I am loving...so happy to be reading again), getting back to making regular food for the kids, knitting the Cavendish throw (just over three balls of yarn left), living with the consequences of eating some rye yesterday (ouch)...easing into what feels like yet another day in transition.

The three of us will be heading out into the world for the first time since the kids got sick.  Today is Sag's last day of Robotics and families are invited to come and watch the competitive games to close out the session.  Thankfully, Donna can give us a ride.  Cap is at a conference in Providence.

Peace and love.

Having a laugh

Key and Peele, which can be seen on Comedy Central (likely on CC's website, too, I am guessing), is a smart, engaging and funny sketch show we've been enjoying this winter. Take a look and enjoy.


 

...

Instinct is to spat out frustration.  Recalibrating to calm instead.  Hence the ellipses.

In a pocket of sleep deprivation and immune system hard-at-work.  Could not resist the siren song of gluten-free store bought blueberry muffins.  I particularly enjoyed the crunch of the sugar crystals on top.

And I thought: I miss this texture.  And I wondered: what in a sugar-free world can replicate this crunch?  And then because my mind is shot: the thought fled, unanswered.

Nots to self:

It has been harder to completely forego sugar and grains this time.

I don't miss dairy, per se, but I can feel my body calling for some fat.  Grass-fed butter may be the bridge I need.

I am feeling a wired overload.  After this blog post, I am shutting off my devices for the day.

The negative thoughts are not real.  They are expressions of chemical messages...surges and dips...  Let them walk on by.

Three movies releasing this week have caught my attention: Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Sound of Noise, and John Carter (Tim Riggins alert!)

Oh, and Being Flynn, which I have become mysteriously and somewhat obsessed with.

Peace and love.

M for

...Mythbusters

...muffin, medicine, memoir, mystic mango

...mound

...meerkats marathon

Have you had a letter dominate today?

P.S.  It has been a quiet day of beginning to feel better and recovering.  All is well.

In afternoon light

I knit some stitches today.  In between offering sips of tea and holding hair back for vomiting.  And taking temperatures.  And soothing and holding.  And watching one sleep and listening to the other iPadding.

I am back from having Sag checked out at the family doc.  He does indeed have strep, on top of the GI virus his brother started with in the middle of the night.  I feel bad for him with this double whammy...he's hanging in there.  Cap is out getting the amoxicillin.  We fervently hope that he'll be able to keep it down.

I wish I could close my eyes for a bit longer.  But, I was lucky.  Vinny was able to push my appointment back.  So I will head off for his healing hands with my new book.  (I know, another one...this one I purchased with the last of my Xmas cash.)

The River of Bees (link to poem)

Sag went to bed streppy, but Gem was the one up between 2 and 6 with a bad GI bug.  It was a Florence Nightingale kind of night.  Within an hour of Gem's falling back asleep, Sag was suffering from a high fever.  Thankfully, the fever responded well to medication.

Havoc was wrought sleep-wise.

I am not planning on doing much today.  Sag has a doc appointment this afternoon and I am hoping to see Vinny after that.  Keeping my fingers crossed that Cap stays healthy...he has a conference later this week out-of-state.

As is the way of poetry, this one was a balm to me today.

Peace and love and the everlasting battles waged by immune systems.

P.S.  And speaking of bees...

Bits

Another day has flown by without touching down here.  It's as if the gravitational pull has gone haywire.  Look out, here comes a hail of bullets...

• late this afternoon, Sag started complaining of a sore throat...I took a peek and it didn't look good...we're hoping to get in to see a doc tomorrow afternoon.  in the meantime, it is getting quite sore, poor guy.

• this morning, Sag and I had a lovely time at the quilting and sewing supply store in town.  he is making a Creeper plush and we were getting the materials he needed.  I have misplaced my sewing tin somehow, so we needed to get needles and pins on top of everything else.

• I made the best soup I've ever made today: onion, garlic, ginger, carrot, celery, fennel, daikon, bay leaves, veggie bouillon, homemade stock and CSA chicken...it was outstanding.  it was too late to catch whatever is ailing Sag now, but hopefully, it will help to kick it to the curb sooner rather than later.

• I went kind of crazy with food this weekend.  February was a slippery slope.  once I let very small amounts of sugar, gluten and grains back in (at celebratory restaurant gatherings), I started skidding and then full on sliding.  when I realized I was going to get really strict again, I decided to have some last hurrahs, listening to what my body was calling for: key lime pie, a cheeseburger avec bun and pistachio ice cream.  the pie and ice cream were very satisfying.  the burger bun, not so much...gluten/wheat has really revealed itself to be a problem food for me and the shine is really coming off of wheat-y foods.

• I thought I was going to be a mess today between the weekend's overload and the cold turkey (cutting out sugar, grains, dairy and caffeine for now).  color me shocked because it hasn't been that bad.  what I am noticing more than anything is that my hunger cycle is off.  I ate very lightly all day with no strong hunger pangs until about an hour ago,

• Cap and I went out yesterday.  we were shut out of A Separation (last tix sold to the folks just ahead of us in line).  so we browsed in both bookshops in town which was so relaxing.  we'd decided to each buy a book since it was about equivalent to the cost of a movie ticket.  but I bought two...this and this.

• I've noticed that many of the titles on my 2012 Book List are...dark.  or darkish.  it's how my tastes run.  I am going to need to intersperse some fun reads to lighten the mood every once in awhile.

• I am loving reading and knitting more.  having a book or project at hand gives my day-to-day some welcome, grounding heft.  though they also serve to signal how fast the hours of a day slip through the fingers.

• there is so much more...I think as my brain weans itself off some of my food chemical culprits, I will settle back into some thoughtful thinks.  in the meantime, here's a catchy ditty the kids and I have been enjoying:



 Peace and love.  Wishing you smooth sailing during the chaos of the season (is it Winter/is it Spring?)

March madness

Flit, flit, flit.

Landing long enough to embed this fun vid from days of yore.  This song grabbed me today driving around with Sag.

I hope your weekend was good and wish you a lion's roar of a week.

Reading

So this is what it feels like to be reading again.  Last night, I read and read, pushing through tiredness to read just a few more pages...cozy in a pool of lamplight in an otherwise dark and quiet room.  No tv, no music, just me and my book.

I finished Last Night In Twisted River this morning.  I got to a point last night where I knew I wouldn't appreciate finishing the book because I was just...spent.  So after waking, chopping veggies and tossing them into the stock pot with our last pastured chicken, loads of cold filtered water and a couple of splashes of apple cider vinegar, I settled into the red chair and read.

It was an amazing book.  Masterfully rendered.  Diverse settings and characters brought to vivid life, a story so dense, yet ever flowing and truly moving.

I've updated my list, five down, twenty (or more) to go!

More books

A book my parents gave me.  It's one of the first books I remember owning and reading.  Gem chose this for a read aloud after Wildwood.  We enjoyed it.  It's got some spots of old fashioned racist crap and some spots of laugh-out-loud hilarity.  Overall, a clever and engaging book.

A classic in our home.  Given to us years ago by friends who are Irish, this book is funny. funny, funny. Sag picked this for read aloud.

My pick for read aloud.  She is one of my favorite authors.  She was my first.  If I read this book, which I've had since it was published in 1999, I don't remember it.  We are intrigued and I am already enamored.

I have this out from the library.  I flipped it open because my John Irving book was in the bedroom where Gem had a rare late morning.  I am fascinated by the science of fe/male brain/hormonal differences.  But also turned off by the generalities that the author utilizes in talking about fe/males, so far.  Provocative and challenging.  I am considering buying the book.

This one I added to my "to read" list.  It's the memoir Paul Weitz (Wes grad) adapted for his movie "Being Flynn".

Another one added recently to my "to read" list.  Essays about life tied into knitting.  Yes, please.

Also added to the "to read" list.  Alex Chee (Wes grad) mentioned this book in a recent blog post.  Lit up my brain..

These days and nights

...reading Last Night In Twisted River.

...watching Lucy Liu in Southland (love this show and cast...she is a new addition).

...drinking Amy & Brian's Coconut Juice.

...considering the pros and cons of caffeine.

...knitting the Cavendish throw in Noro Matsuri.

...sleeping like a bear in Winter.

...expanding and contracting as if exiting a chrysalis.

...dreaming about travel/retreat.

All of this and more...with so much gratitude and love.

Time for art

Creating a new grid of how to spend our time together has provided us with opportunities to do some of those things we talk or think about, but rarely get to, impromptu.

The kids do "art" on their own.  They love to draw, they love to make short movies/video clips, they create/make every day.

It felt odd to carve out some time for "art" in the new schedule, but I did it anyway because I wanted to make space for the boys to explore materials/media that they don't gravitate towards on their own.

Gem loves to paint, for example, but he rarely does.  Same for Sag and sculpting.

Yesterday, we pulled out the new table top easel (no building necessary, you unfold it right out of the box) and the Sculpey.  Gem's painting is called "Hobo Tornado" and Sag made a Creeper.

Busy with some bumps

I'm pressing the kids a little.  Part of it is squeezing some more "stuff" into our homeschooling.  Part of it is a PMS-y intensity.  Hence, the minor bumps here and there.

I'm stealing a moment here while Gem does an interactive lesson online about story elements (he is feeling like he has a ton of great ideas for stories, but then gets bored with them and rarely gets to see a story through to completion...I'm on a mission to try to break the process down for him...something to help him along in his process) and Sag finishes up a D'Nealian workbook (something I probably need more than he, if I'm being honest).

Yesterday, the kids chose the bathroom for housework.  It took about an hour for us to clean it top to bottom.  I hope that as we develop a stronger weekly rhythm of housework that our efficiency improves.  But, if it doesn't, that's perfectly okay.  It is work that needs to be done.  Nothing wrong with slow and steady.

I noticed later on in the day that the bathroom seemed quieter (for being cleaner... energetically... particle-wise).  It was a profoundly peaceful moment.

This morning has included letter writing to cousins and liquid measuring of cups, pints and milliliters.

Peace and love.

Brilliant

This dish is brilliant.  Shared by Jules Clancy at Stonesoup, it's a modern day and super simple version of Spanish tortilla patata.  Sag and I marveled at the potato flavor...even as the chips stare at you while you eat, it didn't taste like you were eating potato chips.  Gem didn't get the potato flavor at all.  He doesn't like eggs.  He ate nearly his whole slice, but in the end, it was too eggy for him.

Sorry, but Jules' website is down at the moment so I can't link to it.  Check it out sometime!