To the woods

The short and good story.  We went to a nature center not too far away and walked in the woods.  Then we went to Fairway for the first time.

Happy weekend.  Peace and love.

Common meal

I am a little sad.  I made some kickass dishes last night for common meal and kept thinking "gotta take some pics"...and then didn't.  Preparing for common meal is such a whirlwind.  And yesterday we did it sans Cap (he has bowed out this semester due to work constraints...though he will help with cooking things beforehand).

Anyway, I made Easy and Delicious Sausage Frittata, Sautéed Apples (Paleo Comfort Foods), Creamed Spinach (Paleo Comfort Foods) and a simple fruit salad with an incredibly luscious cantaloupe and local, organic blueberries from the beginning of summer.  Cap made his signature corn bread and jello.

Dinner was a hit.  It was the first time making the Sautéed Apples (I used Honeycrisp apples, Kerrygold butter, pecans and Penzey's cinnamon) and they were comforting and delicious.  The frittata was, indeed, easy to make.  I used Vacchiano Farm's Sweet Italian Sausage and it was so scrumptious.  The savory of fennel and pork, the pop of black pepper, the sweet of the yam and the creaminess imparted by the pastured eggs and coconut oil...a lovely dish. 

Sag ran running from the room to spit out the creamed spinach.  I was pleased to get a better result this second time around. (I am a kinesthetic learner and though I dislike making mistakes, I really do tend to learn from them quickly and efficiently.)  This dish took the most time to prepare and, for me, was fussy.  (Squeezing more and more water out of thawing frozen spinach is so not my idea of fun.)  Also, it simply is not as creamy as dairy creamed spinach.  Dropping this expectation is crucial in fully enjoying the dish.

There were virtually no leftovers despite triple batches of the spinach and apples, a double batch of corn bread and a batch and a half of the frittata.  My peeps left happy and full.

And now, an ode to my sister.

This morning I scrambled my leftover chard from the farm (originally braised with liquid leftover from the slow cooker pork) with a pastured egg.  I grilled a piece of corn bread leftover from last night with Kerrygold butter.  I had skipped the bread last night, but this morning, I heard the siren song of a piece with butter and fig jam.

My sister brought us a small jar of fig jam months and months ago.  I love everything figs, especially fig jam.  So I have kept this precious jar on the top shelf in the pantry.  Despite it being full of sugar.  Because I love fig jam.  And my sweet sister.

So, when I was inspired this morning, I considered it, and went for it.

Man, jam is SWEET when you haven't eaten it in a year!  I was really surprised by the sugar punch.  But, I enjoyed my crunchy crusted buttery corn bread with jam.  Yes I did.

(Oh and chard when it comes straight from the farm?  A wonderful toothiness remains through the tenderness of gently braised leaves.  Yum.)

As the kids and I picked up the living room in preparation for our guests, we came across the pine shaving curl my sister and brother-in-law brought to us Monday.  I asked the kids to place it on the seasonal shelf.  Simple, sweet, seasonal, sisterly.  We're planning on going up to the cabin in October and can't wait!

Peace.

What's up

Yesterday, Sag, in a rare moment, asked me to take his picture.  I thought it would be a nice counterpoint to last night's picture.  Here he is nine years later.

I am so loving this Fall weather we're enjoying.  Yesterday I pulled on a pair of woolen handknit socks.  So delicious.

This is the stuff for a longer post, but I have been thinking about appetite and capacity this morning.  Mine change (with my hormonal shifts I now believe) from day to day sometimes, but they definitely run large comparatively speaking.

For breakfast today I had two slices of Udi's white with Kerrygold and an avocado mashed with salt, pepper and granulated garlic.  I heart this butter so much.

(I am realizing that much of the food I prepare for myself would be perfect for two.  But I don't have a food soulmate living with me with whom I can share.)

After hearing how my week went, Vinny decided to bring back the liver pills (Green Dragon).  Some women just need that extra emo liver support.  He also put me back on the "relaxing" herbs (what I have begun to think of as my TCM Prozac).  I took a few minutes this morning counting pills and getting them organized.

We have friends coming over in a bit and a common meal to host tonight.  Chatting, cooking and cleaning ahead!

Peace.

Emotional liver

Ahhhh.  I had a great session with Vinny.  I am so lucky to have found him.  Grateful, grateful, grateful.  There was a lot of pain in my emotional liver meridian/points.  There's a band name for a different life: Emotional Liver.

I wanted to post a picture to represent "tranquility".  Which is how I felt after the pain was brought forth and let go.  Nothing on the 'net called to me.  Looking through my iPhoto since January (remember, I started using this laptop right after last Xmas) I realized I/we don't spend nearly enough time "feeling small" as Barbra so succinctly and eloquently put it to me the other day (upon her return from communing with the redwoods in northern Cali).

(We are going somewhere to feel small on Friday.  Yay for inspiration and intention!)

Scoping about, my eyes landed on a favorite photo of the kids and me.  Julie took it in their backyard.  It's kind of classic grainy 35mm circa 2003.  I love everything about it.  That it captured the three of us in an un-self-conscious moment together (and Gem appears to be having his own moment within our moment).  That they are so little.  That there is visual evidence for me of what I imagine so many of our moments looking like (though not on a hammock :-)  Happy, peaceful, in love, together.

When you are living something (as in, your life), furiously happy, as The Bloggess puts it, it is lovely to have mementos that you can gaze upon and hold.  Thank you, Julie, for being part of my tranquility, today and every time I see this photo.

Peace.

Eventide

After dinner, as the storm system settled overhead and I turned on the air conditioning to escape the oppressive humidity, the kids and I gathered to play some games.  Blokus and Uno.  We had a three-way tie for the first time ever in Blokus.  Uno was rousing and we blasted through a half dozen rounds with a light in our eyes and smiles on our faces.

While they nibbled on their desserts, the seasonal shelf caught my eye.  I took down the summer pieces, dusted, and put up the autumn ones.  It looks a little different every season, from one year to the next.

The picture on the card was such a timely reminder of an aspect of this season...gathering courage and strength...cultivating our inner fire in preparation for the quiet dark cold of coming winter.

The autumnal tree is one of my favorite things from Sacramento.  It just makes me happy every time I bring it out.

The beautiful (love the gorgeous orange) pumpkin was the first thing I ever needle felted.  Julia, the first friend I made in Sacramento, was my teacher, guiding me step-by-step with patience and warmth.  I miss her.

Peace.

Jagged and jiggy

Egads.  I have no words for this humidity.  110%.  There's low pressure bearing down on us.  And high winds.



I am fortifying myself with leftover slow cooked pork.  It was freaking delicious.  Probably due in no small part to the high quality meat.  I loved the simplicity of Nom Nom Paleo's recipe.  Served the pulled roast with guacamole, salsa verde and sour cream on the table.  Yum.  (Sis and BIL came over last night to pick up my n'er used bicycle.)

I am listening to lots of music.

I am alternately wafting/awash and pinging/ponging.

I am hyper and held still.

Anyway, I have managed, between compulsive online nattering and pollinating, to be productive here and there, too.

I have paid bills.

I have made phone calls.

I have fed children a balanced meal.

I decluttered the coat/bag hooks.  (Clutter on the bookshelf there, your days are numbered...)

And then, I made shore onto the Isle of Knits.  While poking around and setting things to rights I came across two (deeply) hibernating projects and was shocked to see that I had made progress on both that I had completely forgotten about.  (When did that knitting happen?)

On top is a sock for Brian.  He has big feet.  That is not an optical illusion.  I promised him these socks...maybe three years ago.  I had no idea I'd finished one and am now motivated to finish the pair.  I have to dig for my notes to see what size the needles were...

On bottom is a lap throw I started for Gem...years ago.  I bought a lot of ten or so balls of this yarn (Noro Matsuri).  I was stunned to see there were only two balls left.  I could easily finish this in a week if I put my mind to it.

Interestingly, a third project I was expecting to see was nowhere to be found.  I must have frogged it and cannot recall.  Weird, this knitterly Alzheimer's/ADD...

Off to get some sauce on for the kids' dinner.

Peace and Supremes.

Coffee

Crap.

It has occurred to me that my now habitual/ritual coffee drinking may have contributed to the crazy emo-chemical PMS I've been experiencing.

Is nothing sacred?!  Serenity now!

Ahhh...

At my friend's house hanging out while the five kids play.  She is up at school, she's gone back, with her eyes on the prize of a doctorate in biochem.  For some reason, after numerous attempts over a couple of years, today, I was able to connect to their internet!

So, with a Moomin mug full of my fave coffee, I am reading and writing online.  Content.

I'll make lunch in an hour, dinner slow cooks at home and my book and other book hibernate.

Peace.

Burst

Underwater.  In stasis.

Flummoxed.  Dismayed. 

I had a tiny bit of PMS at the end of last cycle.  Then DMS (during menstrual syndrome) after my period started which was more intense.  Then after barely a week in between I went into what I was jokingly describing as POS (pre-ovulation syndrome).  Which I've never experienced before.

I ain't laughing anymore.  Last night I experienced a powerful surge of chemical storminess that had me flailing and shrieking for a lifeline.  Problem is, how I am feeling doesn't translate well during such moments and I appeared to Cap a bitter and angry hormonal maniac.

Two things happened back-to-back that on a "normal" day I would find barely to a little annoying.  I know because they are things that have happened before.  Familiar.  When I am PMS hormonal, these familiar non-events suddenly bloom into problems with no solutions and drive me crazy. 

I take it personally, really hard.

In the last year or so, the surges have not been so difficult/I have found it easier to ride them out while silencing the beast, so to speak.  I've been much more able to just keep my mouth shut knowing that how I felt was going to pass.

Not so much last night.  I opened my mouth wide and the scream was not silent.

Fury, hurt, fear (of rejection), utter and base desperation...where does it all come from?  Is it old stuff buried/held in me?  Is it less emotional and more powerfully chemical (from having consumed more grain/gluten lately...from having switched up my herbs...from a new perimenopausal level reached)?

Unleashed.  Unhinged.

After my system, which literally felt like it blew up, restored some equilibrium, hindsight refocused immediately to 20/20.  But, by then, the damage had been done to my partner.  It was a TKO and he climbed into bed before I did.  Which, almost never happens.  Unless he's sick.

I attacked.  Viral (hopefully not bacterial).  Took my baby down.

My blood was throbbing.  I took some emergency herbs.  Watched the penultimate episode of Weeds on my laptop.  And went to bed.

One kid climbed in and then another.  Their warm bodies anchored me as I was buffeted about by dreary dreams.  When I awoke, I swear, my belly felt crampy.  My first thought: am I getting my period again (two weeks early)?  My second thought: am I having a miscarriage (even though, technically, structurally, there is no way this could be true)?

Lingering crazy.  (But that's how strong the throes were last night.  I felt like I was in the clutches of something impossible.)

In TCM, an episode of diarrhea can be viewed positively.  It's an example of the body/system expelling something that had been stuck...something that it doesn't need or want.  I am wondering if I can take this perspective with last night's episode of what felt like chemical/emotional vomiting.

At least now that this has happened, I can raise my awareness and cordon myself off next time: to spew in private and clean myself up before re-entering relationship to others.  Interestingly, I have never liked vomiting (I know...who does?)  Something about the loss of control...

(I have a deep old rusty need to keep stuff in.  In such diametric opposition to my Aquarian nature.  Maybe this is why my shoulders/neck are so tight lately?)

I can see now that when I am feeling that PMS-y vomit coming on, I have an instinct to latch onto Cap for protection. 

For saving.

But, no one can save you from vomiting.  The instinct might feel real, but in reality it simply doesn't make sense.  Vomit needs to happen, it's actually good for you, and it is unstoppable.

Listen to your body.

I'm outie.  Busy day ahead.  Thank you for reading.

Peace.

Sunday

The day has been full of lovely.  I wish every Sunday could be this mellow, each of us doing our own thing, some of it for our selves, some of it to pitch in with and for each other and our shared space.  (We continue to grow our intention, Cap and I, towards having one of the weekend days be a "day at/for home".)

As we settle into Fall, Cap has been making breakfast for the kids.  And the kids continue to do more morning work...making their beds, unloading the dishwasher, getting their own thing in the kitchen, etc.  This is great for me.  It gives me time to relax into my morning.

Last night I went to bed earlier.  I overshot my 10 o'clock goal by an hour, but woke up an hour earlier than I have been, feeling rested.  This slot of time will be mine to fill with practicing Qigong, communing with nature, writing, eating...  Morning meditation to be with myself within the universe.

(On the weekend this time is used for my solo job of meal planning and food shopping.)

I am simplifying what I put into my body food-wise, for the next few weeks.  (Then I will eat whatever I want while visiting Barbra.  Then I will do a Dragon's Way session for six weeks.)  This week I realized I have become one of those people.  My appetite for coffee now supersedes that for breakfast.  Will wonders ever cease?

Pastured egg scramble in Kerrygold butter with scallions and plum tomatoes.  And a mug of mocha java coffee with pastured half-and-half.

We have cycled back into down comforter season!  The kids and I love love love snuggling into down three seasons of the year.  I miss my apples cover, especially this time of year, but the birdies and pussy willows will do.

This afternoon I will read my library book.  I've had it for ages and can no longer renew it.  I finally started it a couple of days ago and want to finish it.  It is due tomorrow.  What a blessed life.

Peace.

Addendum

In the realm of TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), it is Fall.  Maybe according to the lunar calendar?  I don't know...but just wanted to 'splain since I have already gotten feedback that it's still "summer".

Fall fall

The chaotic energies, the scattered bits of me, in and of this season...I've been bobbing with my head above the water...admirably, compared to past seasons that have been this unsettled, swimming, through and despite, the pulls and pushes of powerful currents felt and unseen.

Being on the sensitive side, part of the challenge for me during a time like this is to maintain my own balance while holding the chaotic energy of the people around me, especially the family.  Each of them have been dealing with their own experiences of Summer settling into Fall.

Yesterday morning I fell.  I was hugging Gem, with swinging/turning movement, he was wearing thick woolen handknits on his feet, the trickster spirit of the season overtook us...his socked feet slipped out from under him on the linoleum of the kitchen floor and suddenly I felt a whoosh as the mass supporting me was suddenly gone.  We both went down.

I was frantic not to fall on top of him.  We were in a fairly tight space, the very solid wooden countertop storage unit was right behind him.  I credit the powers within me, the same ones which have kept my head above water despite strong and salty splashes to the face the past couple of weeks...they are a combination of physical, mental, emotional and chemical...they come together to form a stronger will and spirit...stronger and yet more pliable...to bloom open and reform quickly and efficiently (within the general manatee pace I tend to take...it's exhilarating and incongruous).

He went banana peel straight down landing on his butt.  He was shocked, but fine.  I landed most of my controlled and concentrated weight down on my right knee.  The pressure jolted up through my body slamming up into the underside of the cranium,  (Which is where I felt a dull ache for most of the rest of the day.)

It woke me up, this fall in Fall.

I am stronger than I know.  I am luckier than I know.  My capacities have grown and solidified.  The trails to my foundation are clearer, more brush removed than I realized.

I don't recommend setting out banana peels to test your skills (life does enough of that, don't you think?)  But...I hope for all of us that we can move with the vigor and freedom of the season, as chaotic as it is...and fall and wake up, if need be, to see more truly and be healed.

P.S.  My knee is sore.  My neck is tight.  My head no longer aches.

P.P.S.  First day of the rest of my life, baby!

In my mind

Upon pages

The kids and I have started a new blog.  It is called Upon Pages (named by Sag aka cuteshark, inspired by the song below) and will document our reads over the next academic year.  You can check it out here.  (They love comments!)

September playlist

Every month(ish) I compile a playlist of songs.  Some are new-to-me songs that I hear on a movie or tv show soundtrack.  Some are old songs that come to me for one reason or another.  Some are songs the kids are into.

My September playlist is shaping up...interestingly.  We're about halfway through the month and here are the nine songs currently on high rotation:

That Year / Brandi Carlile

Leave A Tender Moment Alone / Billy Joel

How Do I Know / Here We Go Magic

Bizarre Love Triangle / New Order

Istanbul Not Constantinople / They Might Be Giants

Sidecar / Kathleen Edwards

Little Black Mess / Shivaree

With Or Without You / U2

Screw The Nether (Moves Like Jagger parody) / inthelittlewood

Peace and tunes y'all.

A tip and a lesson and a mystery

The tip:

One may think this applies only to women, but I think it does to men, as well.  Lately, I have been remembering to massage my chest while in the shower.  Therapeutically.  And I don't mean this (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I know it's healthy because it feels freaking good.  We can't massage our backs, but our fronts?  Yes.  (And I suggest getting someone else to rub your back.)

If you think of flow (as opposed to stagnation) as being healthy (and natural), then it's not much of a leap to see massaging parts of our bodies as beneficial to our health.  Our chests tend to be static compared to our arms, legs, and even our backs.  I learned awhile ago how good it feels for me to rub the area of my collarbone and upper chest.

And, getting right in there with the fleshier part of the chest?  A revelation.  Leave any lingering Puritanism at the door and give it a try.  You won't regret it.  (This doesn't have to be done in the shower, but the heat of the water/air while showering makes "things" more malleable in a good way.)

The lesson:

I ordered a bunch of Math materials from Lulu this morning.  They have a really good sale till Friday, 25% off any order of $100 or more.  (Math Mammoth books are available as downloads, on CDs, and as printed books.  I prefer to pay up front for the nicely bound printed books.  Lulu does a nice job.)

I saved $46 on my order.  Then, I balked at the $26 shipping cost.  (They used to have a non-trackable low rent shipping method which did not come up as an option today.)  I hate paying for shipping so much that the rush of happy chemicals from saving nearly $50 on my order was obliterated by the chagrin I felt about paying the hefty shipping charge.

The lesson here is what?  How would you put it succinctly?  Focus on the good.  Get with the program of living in an online shopping world and accept shipping costs as an inevitable part of that.  Keep it real and get out of your head.

Sigh.

The mystery:

When I excavated my jewelry box a couple weeks back, I found these earrings and do not remember from whence they came.  It was as if I'd never seen them before.  But, I must have, unless someone else placed them in the box.  I think they're made of resin, probably synthetic, but who knows.  I love how they look like hazy light.

First ferment

Nothing ambitious, a pint jar of end-of-season freebie CSA turnips.  I followed the simple (generic) instructions in my new book and it was a breeze.  I have been compulsive about releasing the CO2 (a must during the first few days to avoid liquid overflow/jar explosion).  I am already thinking I'd like to go the crock method, but the crocks I have are too big or too small.

Isn't it pretty?

Whenever I have Japanese eggplant in the crisper, I think of my grandmother and the amazing Japanese eggplant she would cook up for me straight from her Yokohama garden.  I have yet to replicate the distinct deliciousness of her dish.  And I doubt I ever will.  But, I do love trying, if only to be with her memory.

I saw Vinny yesterday.  My shoulders/upper back were so tight.  But, I was feeling up, on the other side of all the chaos.  Coincidentally, or not, I had a hormonal surge last night which had me chowing on popcorn (salt and oil) and then dark chocolate (which tasted...gross?!?) while watching some episodes of Weeds (a show I have mixed feelings about).

This morning, I wanted coffee more than food (what?!?)  I did eat, though.  I patiently sautéed garlic and Japanese eggplant in olive oil (while drinking my current fave coffee) and then surprised myself by realizing what I really wanted to eat with the eggplant was rice with nama tamago (raw egg mixed with soy sauce).  I haven't had this in awhile since I very rarely eat rice anymore.

It was a simple and satisfying meal.

New quarter

Some of the ingredients of our back-to-school-ish morning...

• Math Mammoth (this curriculum is more spiral than linear and I felt compelled to start assessing their skills going back to Grade 2 to cover our bases...for anyone who saw "Grade 2" on the cover of the book and freaked).  after doing a bit of research and thinking and discussing, Cap and I have decided not to buy a general curriculum for Gem, at this time.  we're going to continue developing content ourselves for everything but Math and Foreign Language (we're using Math Mammoth and Rosetta Stone for those).  we're going to plow through the Grades 2, 3, 4, Intro to Fractions, Multiplication 1, Multiplication 2, Division 1 and Multiplication and Division 3 books (yep, that's a lot of material) at a more rigorous pace this quarter (compared to last year).  as we approach the end of November/December, we will see where we are and assess whether we want to explore a different Math curriculum.  if the kids were attending our local public schools, Sag would be going into fifth grade this month, Gem into sixth.  we'd like to get them in the ballpark of "caught up" as would be reflected in their functional day-to-day needs, as well as, would be reflected on a standardized academic test.  while, of course, not having their natural curiosity in topics of mathematics, or the general process of learning, be diminished.

• snacks.  so key with us.  the scrumptious Macintosh apples and wheat-free tamari almonds helped carry us through to lunch.  and, my coffee juice.  very important (today's brew is Peet's Ethiopian left in our kitchen by Mary and Nate).

• tools at the ready: a clean table, sharp pencils (and our trusty excellent pencil sharpener---not photographed), eraser, good quality ruler that has its own place for simple retrieval and clean up, and my laptop.

• Thich Nhat Hanh.  we started our work session by sitting and reading/hearing the following insight:

"Your true home is in the here and now.  It is not limited by time, space, nationality, or race.  Your true home is not an abstract idea; it is something you can touch and live in every moment.  With mindfulness and concentration, the energies of the Buddha, you can find your true home in the full relaxation of your mind and body in the present moment."

I think we may incorporate these weekly.  A peaceful way to provide food for thought and living.  Something to chew on, with time, as the week progresses.

Peace and love.

Mother earth

Yet another example of the power of Mother Earth.  I do not like celery.  When I was a kid, I hated it.  It was one of the few foods that would make me gag (carrots were the other one).

When I started making vegetable-chicken stock soups (back when we became Waldorf-y), celery re-entered my life.  The whole mirepoix thing.  And I discovered that celery, when cooked as part of an undeniable homemade soup, not only did not make me gag...but I liked it.

Yesterday we received a bouquet of celery in our CSA batch of veggies.  This variety of celery pretty much needs to be cooked because it is quite spicy.  I cut the ends and washed the stalks to put away in the fridge.

And I was awestruck by the leaves.

They were so beautiful.  And fragrant.  So fresh.  (And I had a feeling they had nutritional value.)  How could I throw these away?  I considered asking my vegan neighbors whether they'd like to use the leafy bounty.  But, there was a lot and...I found myself wanting to use them myself.

Huh?!  Me and celery.  We've come a long way.

The color of the leaves is truer in this shot.  I made a simple soup.  I sautéed the chopped celery leaves in olive oil (about half of the bunch, the other half I froze for green smoothies) and then added about half a box of beef broth.  I doubled the liquid with filtered water and then popped in a veggie bouillon cube.  After it cooked for a bit, I added some honey for a touch of sweet.

Gem and I liked it (though he only wanted a bit of leaves).  Sag did not care for it.

These end-of-season turnips were freebies at our CSA pick-up site.  I had just flipped through my new fermenting book the night before.  I thought I remembered the author (a graduate of my high school) mentioning turnips amongst the many vegetables one can ferment tastily.  So, inspired, I grabbed a few handfuls of these ugly beauties.

(Full disclosure: I have been a vocal advocate of not using Amazon to buy books for about a year now.  But, this book, a hardcover discounted 40%...I bought this from Amazon.)

I will let you know how the fermenting goes!

Peace and local organic veggies.

Up-to-date

Did I mention this book here?  Here is my Goodreads review:

Ahhh. This book challenged me. The four star rating is for quality. I can't say I "really" liked it.

The structure, I thought was generic/uninteresting. (Alternating chapters of past/present.) However, in the end, I could see how it was almost necessary (even if awkward) not only as a device, but as a metaphor for how memory can layer in gentle folds or jarring bumps.

The characters...I really liked how well drawn the "minor" characters were. The mom, and particularly, the sisters. It was a feat to have the girls bloom before our eyes to such life.

The novel freaked me out within the first pages. I gave it a couple of days. By the end, I was riddled with anxiety. It almost didn't matter what happened. It was so harrowing...just wanting to get to the end and be done with it overrode any "pure" interest in the whodunit.

(Full disclosure: the reading of this book did coincide with some personal, unrelated, real life anxiety.)

So, did the book do its job? Yes. And it did it well. In some ways the writing seemed unrecognizable from the first book. All in good ways.

But, I did not enjoy it. Unlike my experience of her first novel, I found it very difficult to access "humanity"...the beauty found in quiet moments (or even chaotic ones) of even the most wrenching narratives. The restlessness found amongst these pages was relentless. Such hollows everywhere. 

We have enjoyed what I imagine were the last of the season's peaches.  The apples have begun.  This beauty was a Gala.  This afternoon I fell in love with a Macintosh (a variety I rarely favor).

We are easing into a schoolish schedule.  The energy has been chaotic.  Such shifting: weather, light, availability of friends who go to school, Cap's academic schedule, table activities...  I keep pausing when I remember to...orient myself towards true north...and resume the rush.  Rinse and repeat.

Gem's jellybeans.  Cap bought him two pounds of Jelly Belly jellybeans at an "Ye Olde" type of tourist trap candy shop in Williamsburg which turned out to be a pretty cool place.  I was stunned and delighted that night, after our celebratory family meal at Fat Canary, because Cap hates to shop.  He jovially traipsed into the candy store with Ellie, Sag and Gem and got them all sorts of sugared up.

I don't know if it's the change of season, but Gem has been going to town on his candy corn and watermelon jelly beans the past few days.

We hung out with the girls over the weekend.  It was a lot of fun.  My mom joined us and led us in a roll-your-own sushi dinner.  This one cried for a few seconds when her parents left (to celebrate their anniversary), but then stood her own as part of the dynamic extended family gaggle (including Baxter, can you spot him?)

This was the scene when we dropped my mom off after our babysitting venture.  Finally, finally, the heat and humidity were breaking.  Lovely, lovely cooling rain.

Cap waiting at Home Depot.  I needed a board to support my heels in renewing my squatting practice.  (Squatting is really good for you.)

My food choices are shifting, too.  Less gluten, less grains, less dairy, much less sugar.  It's been slow going what with the chaos.  Last night, Cap and I got Chinese food.  This is what I saw when I paused and looked up...sitting in the car while Cap ran into the restaurant.  It had been go, go, go till 7:30pm.

Money-spending is shifting, too.  Less take-out, weekly meal planning and budget grocery shopping two weeks strong.

I've liked this flower for ages.  But, never knew its English name, just whatever my mom called it in Japanese (which I never remembered...hence, it was always known as, "oh it's the flower I like").  I very recently learned that it is a Rose of Sharon.  Loved this stand of them I came across today while visiting with Leo and Danielle.

We finally made it back to Pokemon after a six-month plus hiatus.  We ran into some old friends which was unexpected and really nice.  It is such a great, mellow crowd.  Makes me so happy for the kids that they have access to such a warm community.

Off to watch the season premiere of Sons of Anarchy.

Peace and love.

Backwards

There has been so much going on.  Working backwards. 

As the kids were eating lunch, I cooked up some eggplant and peppers from last week's CSA.  We pick up again today.  I used up some sad scallions (from the supermarket, also from last week) and less than half of the eggplant that has collected in the crisper drawers.

I sautéed the veggies in a dollop of coconut oil in the cast iron skillet.  For a long time on medium and then medium-low heat (over 20 minutes).  Once I dished the nicely wilted eggplant and still on-the-crunchy side peppers into a glass storage container, I mixed in a heaping actual tablespoon (not a measuring spoon) of white miso and sprinkled on Kosher salt, to taste.

Yum.

I've been chipping away at my perpetual pile of paperwork.  Cap and the kids have played Villains and Vigilantes the past two Fridays on the big table which has pushed me to get through more and more of the paperwork because the big table is also where I do my organizing.

I'm not quite caught up.  I now have a master list of the tasks I need to get done in order to reach the balance point.  It took awhile to just look at everything that had collected and evaluate their position in my world today.

Headache

I have a post I started yesterday in "drafts".  I have photos backing up.  Musings to share.

But.

A pretty painful headache has been dogging me all day.  My body, mind, heart, soul are processing something emotionally complicated, painful and big...something I really can't share the specifics of here.  (We four are fine.  Directly affected but not the primary source...who is not a family member.  No need to worry.)  Just real life stuff that is mostly out of our control.

The kids and Cap are playing Villains and Vigilantes again tonight with the two other guys in their...group?  I don't know what it's called when players come together to game.  They are having fun.  Gleefully.

I am going to go eat and then maybe watch Sunday's True Blood (which I swore off and then realized I can't quite quit).  A quiet evening to nurse this hurting noggin.

But, before I go, here's some internet awesome.  Here, here and here.

Peace and my first pick for the September Songs 2012 playlist.

Yum

I heart quesadillas.  This one had smoked gouda, sautéed mushrooms (baby bella shrooms/Kerrygold butter) and basil from the farm nestled between brown rice tortillas.  Breakfast of gluten-free champions.  (And, yes, bane of my trying-to-go-grain-and-dairy-free-existence.)

No red tent neessary as it turned out.  Energy rebounded nicely yesterday in between fairly tedious social and educational calendering, running a few errands, and a final playdate with schooling friends (school in town starts tomorrow).

The weather continues to be utterly not up my alley.

A lot lot lot whirling as Fall planning continues.  Daniel is here for the day, a grounding force.

Peace and love.

And a song.  Heard this yesterday in the car and smiled.  I never thought I'd love having Sirius in the car as much as I do!

Morning meal

Mark Sisson's Salmon Patty Cakes with two pastured eggs perfectly over medium-easy.  Starting the kids and me back on daily morning cups of Chinese herbal tea with a dollop of honey.

The weather is for shit the birds.  So so so so humid.  And dreary.  And grey.

Cap starts back on campus today.

I am full on bleeding.  Wishing for a red tent...creating my own in the ways that I can.

Off to give my honey his back-to-school haircut!

Peace and love.

Breathe

Surprised...and encouraged by my own look of determination.  I was really effed up and seriously challenged by an event that occurred yesterday afternoon.  Grateful...so grateful for my life...partner, kids, friends and family.  (And my peapod earrings which are yummy and tickle me.)

Hole-y moly

After a refreshing shower, I grabbed Cap for moral (and visual) support and set out to explore the state of my ear pierce holes.

I got my ears pierced in a doctor's office when I was a freshman in college.  My mom refused to allow me to get them pierced while I was living at home.  So, first chance I got living "on my own" (I had a work-study job in college, but my parents supported me generously during that time, as well), I nervously (hence the doctor) and giddily got holes punched into my earlobes.

That was 28 years ago.  And I haven't worn earrings with any sort of regularity/permanence for nearly two decades now.

Yet, today, my left hole was fully intact.  No pinch, no nothing!  The hole on the right needed some nudging.  I poked from the front and then had Cap poke through from the back.  There was a tiny punch of the earring post, so tiny that it registered no pain, and then we were through.

I put in a pair of garnet earrings my mom brought me back from a vacation in the Adirondacks.  They are at the very least gold-plated with a solid post (as opposed to the tarnished wire of some of my other earrings).  I figured these would help my ear pierce holes "bloom" to being occupied again.

Looking forward to playing around with other earrings soon!

Weekending monthbeginning

I've received healer's orders to rest today.  Not dwelling on the fact that I could not allow myself to that without the words of a higher authority.

So, quickly:

Went out to breakfast with the boys.  

I have procrastinated long enough and today is the day.  Eeny meeny miny moe...shall I do Dragon or Paleo?  I'm going with a modified Dragon's Way.  Qigong every day, eating warm and cooked foods, mostly veggies and fruit.  No grains, no sugar.  (That part is Paleo.)  I'm keeping eggs and thinking of going down to one serving of meat a day and if it feels okay, eventually cutting out meat completely.

For a month.  I am stoked to embrace the change of season, to embody it.  Detox and strengthen.  Clean out and settle in.

(Did I tell you I'm going to Oakland in October?  I'm going to Oakland in October!  My plan is to relax and rejuvenate: hugging redwood and eucalyptus trees, drinking in the essences of faraway friends, being quiet...and eating lots of good food.)

So, breakfast.  It was kind of a bust.  I've eaten my last meal at this once beloved former favorite spot of mine.  Something is up and I feel bad for the place.  But, I had fun with the kids.

Peace and love.