The calendar keeps filling up and I find myself buffeting back and forth between activity-activity-activity and being very still, think bump-on-a-log, tuning out of life and into tv and iPhone games.
In between, sleep is happening but I'm still on a late to bed and late to rise schedule.
And I'm trying to keep up with the mundane things to do. On the one hand, the stuff that's getting done is getting done, but on the other, my inner critic voices murmur and sometimes cry out that I am not getting "enough" done.
This morning I walked to the post office and bookstore with Leo and Danielle and enjoyed a mango-banana smoothie on the walk home. It was a nice quiet pocket of time for which I am grateful.
The kids have a movie and dinner date tonight at home (How I Trained My Dragon), Sag has decided he wants to participate in the NJ Regional (State) Pokemon Tournament tomorrow, Cap and I are going to see Matt Pond PA tomorrow night. Sunday is our Equinox walk.
Gem requested a break from school work today. He continued to work out his stress yesterday well into the night. He told me at one point that he didn't like growing up, and didn't want to (something he has voiced on and off since he was about 5). He said that he's noticed that as he grows older, people expect more of him and there is less time to play. Can't argue with that.
I feel blessed. Bouncing is not in my nature (or so I tell myself), but this season is about movement, growth, energy vibrating like crazy. I'm going with it, hope to bounce up against you in our Spring travels.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Land crocs
One of the things I enjoy so much about co-existing with my kids is learning about things and going deeper into topics that I would likely otherwise not have done. This morning Gem and I watched this video over at National Geographic, his body warming mine as he sat on my lap.
Made me think of this :-)
Made me think of this :-)
Land Shark
Tags: Land Shark
Thursday, March 17, 2011
D'Nealian
I've begun working with the kids again this week. We've dived into Math Mammoth. Sag is working through the 2nd grade material and Gem through the 3rd grade material. Much of it is review work for them so it's going quickly and relatively painlessly.
Sag has had some moments of frustration flood right into despair. He's an intense kid and definitely does not like feeling like he doesn't "know" something. He goes so easily to a place of believing he "can't" do something and that place is very uncomfortable for him.
This afternoon I pulled out the handwriting books. We haven't worked on handwriting in months. It is the official "other" subject Cap and I assigned to me back at the end of last Summer. Handwriting is, in a word, tricky. Finding the balance between the physical act of writing (correct positioning of fingers, hands, body, pencil and paper, etc.) and a love of the creative process of writing... The functionality of the whole comes together in different ways for the long spectrum that we writing kids and adults inhabit.
I have long held to the idea that nurturing the love of writing was paramount (and our boys love to write). And, as the parent of a boy whose fine motor development has taken its sweet time to coalesce, I have not been willing to come down hard on the mechanics of writing. That it was happening at all (the act of writing), despite an obvious gap between intelligence (creative/cognitive content) and performance (what the writing looked like on paper), was good enough for me.
Recently, in the last three months or so, this certain boy's handwriting has really changed. The size of his letters has decreased dramatically. The strength with which he pushes down on the paper to produce his marks has let up significantly. His tongue is making much less of an appearance. Some synapses have myelinated and his brain is ready to take on more.
Enter the D'Nealian workbooks...
and the pencil grips...
And tears. Of utter frustration. From my very stubborn boy who thought it was all a waste of time and didn't want to have anything to do with it. (But, who also did not want to lose his screen time for the day...this is the part where I am not an unschooling/unconditional parent, I am eclectic.)
It was Gem.
In the end he made it through, of his own volition (albeit with the DS carrot a-dangling). I gently held his hand in mine and physically supported him through it. He had a relieved smile on his face as we finished the page.
By this point Sag had fled the room. His emotionally sensitive self retired to the kitchen to finish his work. But, not before he saw his brother, to whom things seem to come so easy, have a hard time with something. From my perspective, this was a good thing.
We moved from handwriting to a read aloud from The Moffat Museum. Which had us discussing, of all things, how the life-bearing years of women are shorter than that of men, and why. Smiles on the faces of both boys (the Moffats make us very happy), life moving us right along on our mostly merry ways.
Sag has had some moments of frustration flood right into despair. He's an intense kid and definitely does not like feeling like he doesn't "know" something. He goes so easily to a place of believing he "can't" do something and that place is very uncomfortable for him.
This afternoon I pulled out the handwriting books. We haven't worked on handwriting in months. It is the official "other" subject Cap and I assigned to me back at the end of last Summer. Handwriting is, in a word, tricky. Finding the balance between the physical act of writing (correct positioning of fingers, hands, body, pencil and paper, etc.) and a love of the creative process of writing... The functionality of the whole comes together in different ways for the long spectrum that we writing kids and adults inhabit.
I have long held to the idea that nurturing the love of writing was paramount (and our boys love to write). And, as the parent of a boy whose fine motor development has taken its sweet time to coalesce, I have not been willing to come down hard on the mechanics of writing. That it was happening at all (the act of writing), despite an obvious gap between intelligence (creative/cognitive content) and performance (what the writing looked like on paper), was good enough for me.
Recently, in the last three months or so, this certain boy's handwriting has really changed. The size of his letters has decreased dramatically. The strength with which he pushes down on the paper to produce his marks has let up significantly. His tongue is making much less of an appearance. Some synapses have myelinated and his brain is ready to take on more.
Enter the D'Nealian workbooks...
It was Gem.
In the end he made it through, of his own volition (albeit with the DS carrot a-dangling). I gently held his hand in mine and physically supported him through it. He had a relieved smile on his face as we finished the page.
By this point Sag had fled the room. His emotionally sensitive self retired to the kitchen to finish his work. But, not before he saw his brother, to whom things seem to come so easy, have a hard time with something. From my perspective, this was a good thing.
We moved from handwriting to a read aloud from The Moffat Museum. Which had us discussing, of all things, how the life-bearing years of women are shorter than that of men, and why. Smiles on the faces of both boys (the Moffats make us very happy), life moving us right along on our mostly merry ways.
Gem's protest sign.
in addition to Math the kids have been writing cards and letters this week.
handwriting like this made me realize it was time to start the process of finessing.
seen on the sofa this week. :-)
Dead like me
The first season of this show is available to "Watch Instantly" via Netflix right now. Thanks to friends who have recommended it (Barbra and, I think, Shannon). I looooove it, it is totally up my alley...laughter and good writing truly are good medicine for the soul.
I liked this song I heard on an episode tonight. Sweet night to you...a boom boom ba...
I liked this song I heard on an episode tonight. Sweet night to you...a boom boom ba...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Always
...there is music.
This is Superchunk, now 40-something energizer bunnies out of North Carolina.
Of the 1990 classic Slack Motherfucker fame... :-)
You haven't moved from that spot all night
Since you asked for a light
You little smokestack
You've wasted my time
I'd like to see you try and give it back, yeah
I'm working
But I'm not working for you
Slack motherfucker
Relax, sit down
I'll kick that stool right out from under you
You ran out, sitting outside
Well, I can do the same thing too
I'm working
But I'm not working for you (no)
Slack motherfucker
I'm working
But I'm not working for you
Slack motherfucker
You motherfucker
This is Superchunk, now 40-something energizer bunnies out of North Carolina.
Of the 1990 classic Slack Motherfucker fame... :-)
You haven't moved from that spot all night
Since you asked for a light
You little smokestack
You've wasted my time
I'd like to see you try and give it back, yeah
I'm working
But I'm not working for you
Slack motherfucker
Relax, sit down
I'll kick that stool right out from under you
You ran out, sitting outside
Well, I can do the same thing too
I'm working
But I'm not working for you (no)
Slack motherfucker
I'm working
But I'm not working for you
Slack motherfucker
You motherfucker
Layers
I've been quiet in myself and that is being reflected here.
The situation in Japan has been affecting me. It's hard to explain. It's personal though my immediate and extended family are physically safe and sound. (I am concerned about radiation...the levels in Tokyo were 20x normal yesterday.)
I am not exposing myself to much news about the disaster (I am typically a little to no mass media news person), but I have seen photos and read news pieces here and there and am sensitive to what I absorb. Which I won't go into here and now.
We did finally switch cell phone carriers and bought new smart phones. I decided not to buy an iPhone contract to go with the iPhone our friend handed down to me. I am bemused and slightly disappointed that my new phone hasn't transformed my life into one with unicorns prancing through sparkly rainbows. (I feel that a full service iPhone would, you know :-) But, the new plan, a no-contract $25/mo. for 300 talking minutes and unlimited data on Sprint's network (Sprint recently bought Virgin Mobile)? It's a deal that is hard to beat and is cutting our monthly bill nearly in half while giving us more.
The numbers are the same so no worries there.
The situation in Japan has been affecting me. It's hard to explain. It's personal though my immediate and extended family are physically safe and sound. (I am concerned about radiation...the levels in Tokyo were 20x normal yesterday.)
I am not exposing myself to much news about the disaster (I am typically a little to no mass media news person), but I have seen photos and read news pieces here and there and am sensitive to what I absorb. Which I won't go into here and now.
We did finally switch cell phone carriers and bought new smart phones. I decided not to buy an iPhone contract to go with the iPhone our friend handed down to me. I am bemused and slightly disappointed that my new phone hasn't transformed my life into one with unicorns prancing through sparkly rainbows. (I feel that a full service iPhone would, you know :-) But, the new plan, a no-contract $25/mo. for 300 talking minutes and unlimited data on Sprint's network (Sprint recently bought Virgin Mobile)? It's a deal that is hard to beat and is cutting our monthly bill nearly in half while giving us more.
The numbers are the same so no worries there.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Checking in
taken with the iPhone, processed with Instagram (a free app).
Where have I been, where has the time gone.
Yesterday was fraught with earthquake stress. (Dad made it home safe and sound...a 6 hour cab ride meant not having to walk for 18+ hours.)
Seeing Vinny was helpful for the ever important perspective shift. I do have a rhythm...just because it's not the rhythm I want (or think I want) doesn't mean it's not a rhythm. So, so true.
Super late nights continue though they are becoming sporadic.
Again, with the help of Vinny, I gained some clarity on how I operate... When something in my life goes wrong, I tend to blame myself and go into correction mode: I should do this, I should have done that, I'm so (insert negative self-image descriptor here) etc.
There's a fine yet distinct line between taking personal responsibility for actions and thoughts and blaming one's self for shit that happens. We need to own what we do and how we live. But, it's better to observe and be somewhat detached (getting a bit Buddhist here) when reflecting, and to avoid the self-flagellation and self-loathing that can come with being too egocentric and "in your head".
I made a kickass meat sauce this week. Actually, the grass-fed beef is what made the sauce. So thank you grass-fed beef producing farmers. Thank you grass-fed and (hopefully) happy cows. The kids and I really enjoyed the bounty of your lives.
Our step-brother J.R. and his longtime partner Pam are getting hitched in May. A destination wedding in Jamaica. I thoroughly enjoyed my fantastical reveries for 48 hours as I considered how I might be able to go and frolic. Sadly, we won't be going. But, I am deeply thrilled for them and wish them an amazing time getting married.
We were able to get tickets to an all-ages Decemberists show through a fan pre-sale. The four of us will see them in June in Brooklyn! It will be a happy occasion, one which Sag has been eagerly hoping and waiting for.
Discovered last night that Matt Pond PA are playing in the city next weekend. I'm not sure how I missed that. Planning is underway, hopefully Cap and I will make it to the show.
The mother of my brother's best friend (since they were six) passed away last week after battling cancer. I'll be attending the memorial service with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, brother and sister-in-law tomorrow. Cap will provide childcare for our guys and Ellie.
Next week I will resume some structured schooling time with the kids. MATH is on the agenda. The curriculum has arrived.
I hope you're having a good weekend, don't forget to spring forward tonight.
Love and light.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Lego fun
Yesterday the four of us took part in a Lego fundraiser for the local art museum and historical society. It was something I've been wanting to do for a few years and it feels good to have something "off" the list for once :-)
It was a whole lot of fun coming in from the torrents of rain to join a mass of fellow Lego lovers to make a 3D map of our town's downtown with Lego structures.
It was a whole lot of fun coming in from the torrents of rain to join a mass of fellow Lego lovers to make a 3D map of our town's downtown with Lego structures.
I gathered, they built.
we chose the building that houses Mesob, the yummy Ethiopian restaurant.
the boys on the map.
that little yellow structure in the middle there is ours.
I loved the stained glass windows on this church!
folks were cleared off the map for a final gaze.
it's amazing what you can do with Lego.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Winter Song
This lovely song is more lamb than lion :-) I heart NPR's Song of the Day. It's a great way to hear new-to-you music. Off to Terra with friends before it moves to the cafe space at the library, of all places. Feeling like parts of me are grinding, grinding, grinding to a halt. Need more sleep, need more rhythm to my day/night.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
The King's Speech
I unexpectedly went to see The King's Speech with Danielle this afternoon. It was a thoroughly enjoyable movie and well done. (Except for the music, which I thought was a bit too much.)
I am starting to feel the effects of last night's sleep deprivation. Went to bed around 2:30, didn't fall asleep till past 4:00. The other thing that's off...or at least is in some sort of shifting and transformation, is my appetite. Between jet lag and traveling and getting out of my routines and habits at home, I am eating much less than I usually do, but not really finding a rhythm.
So, tonight (after the movie and picking up the kids at Danielle's where Norb had been watching them), I got hungry and cranky, went to the store to pick up a few things, ended up getting myself a pre-made wrap, got home, tossed Gem's tater tots in the oven while Cap got burgers going for him and Sag, took a few bites of my sandwich and realized it had been mislabeled...and got really annoyed. I could feel the irrational anger percolating as I drove back to the store to get my money back.
A few years ago, I would have made more of a useless stink at the store. And likely would have felt worse overall. But, tonight, I stated my concerns with the situation calmly, especially as the parent of a kid with allergies, and found I was able to let it go.
And though it was not curried chickpeas I had wanted in my wrap, those few chickpeas are tiding me over while I figure out what I will feed myself tonight.
Peace and love.
Math Mammoth
Fueled by a wonderful date night and my after dinner coffee, I played Free Cell and Angry Birds while watching The Soup with Cap. He went to bed awhile ago, but I remembered a sale offer at Math Mammoth and decided it was time.
Time for what?
I am "in charge" of Math learning for the boys and have been taking the live and learn approach for awhile (teach theory and skill as they come up naturally in life). I've bought bits and pieces of Math curriculum over the years in the form of manipulatives, games and workbooks (including some Miquon books).
About six months ago...maybe almost a year ago, I became aware of Math Mammoth, the homeschool Math curriculum designed by a Finnish homeschooling mom who lives in Minnesota. When I posted to one of the local homeschooling listservs about Math curriculum, Math Mammoth was recommended with glowing reviews. I've been following Maria's blog for a few months and recently won the game Mastermind there :-)
Around the time I decided to give her curriculum a go, our printer broke. The pdf version was appealing because of the lower price, but with the printer broken, it got complicated.
The holidays happened, Japan and California happened.
This week I received a note from the Math Mammoth blog that the publisher of the printed curriculum was offering a 20% discount on the curriculum materials. Our printer is still broken with no definite plan of replacing it, and, my baby just got paid, and, I am feeling inspired to bang out some Math teaching/learning, so I bit the bullet and placed an order in these wee hours with my abundance of energy.
I'm excited! I ordered the second, third and fourth grade curriculum (Sag would be in third this year, Gem in fourth) and am planning to plow through them this Spring (now through June) so that Sag is done with third and Gem with fourth. If we like the curriculum, I'll order fifth grade over the Summer.
Time for what?
I am "in charge" of Math learning for the boys and have been taking the live and learn approach for awhile (teach theory and skill as they come up naturally in life). I've bought bits and pieces of Math curriculum over the years in the form of manipulatives, games and workbooks (including some Miquon books).
About six months ago...maybe almost a year ago, I became aware of Math Mammoth, the homeschool Math curriculum designed by a Finnish homeschooling mom who lives in Minnesota. When I posted to one of the local homeschooling listservs about Math curriculum, Math Mammoth was recommended with glowing reviews. I've been following Maria's blog for a few months and recently won the game Mastermind there :-)
Around the time I decided to give her curriculum a go, our printer broke. The pdf version was appealing because of the lower price, but with the printer broken, it got complicated.
The holidays happened, Japan and California happened.
This week I received a note from the Math Mammoth blog that the publisher of the printed curriculum was offering a 20% discount on the curriculum materials. Our printer is still broken with no definite plan of replacing it, and, my baby just got paid, and, I am feeling inspired to bang out some Math teaching/learning, so I bit the bullet and placed an order in these wee hours with my abundance of energy.
I'm excited! I ordered the second, third and fourth grade curriculum (Sag would be in third this year, Gem in fourth) and am planning to plow through them this Spring (now through June) so that Sag is done with third and Gem with fourth. If we like the curriculum, I'll order fifth grade over the Summer.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Angry birds
We had no idea Angry Birds is Finnish! All four of us have been enjoying this game on the iPhone.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Bright
Wow, what a gorgeous day. Sunny and cold. High pressure systems agree with me.
Woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck, but every passing hour has found my body refilling with energy, bright and positive.
Errands have been run, a big load of laundry is waiting to be folded, yummy dinner to be made is on deck, peace and contentment reigns. (Except for Cap who has an overwhelming deadline hanging over his head and very spirit...trying to balance staying out of his hair with offering support and care...)
Tomorrow night Cap and I will go out to dinner and hear Raul Malo perform locally. Looking forward to that soul nourishment.
Woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck, but every passing hour has found my body refilling with energy, bright and positive.
Errands have been run, a big load of laundry is waiting to be folded, yummy dinner to be made is on deck, peace and contentment reigns. (Except for Cap who has an overwhelming deadline hanging over his head and very spirit...trying to balance staying out of his hair with offering support and care...)
Tomorrow night Cap and I will go out to dinner and hear Raul Malo perform locally. Looking forward to that soul nourishment.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Um, okay
today.
After an afternoon and evening of feeling nearly post-jet lag energetic and great, I woke up this morning at 5:30 roughly four hours after falling asleep. Of all the darndest things, I was woken up by menstrual cramps.
Really, body?
I haven't had this kind of discomfort in a very long time. I got out of bed around 6 to take some pain remedy (Aleve that "expired" last June). I marveled at how light it got so early out. And realized I was not going to fall back asleep.
I watched some bad episodes of Glee followed by some better ones. Cap left for school and the kids woke up.
Contemplating canceling a play date, going out to buy big pads, what I'm going to feed the kids for lunch.
I have to pick up a kid after school and watch him here till it's time for common meal. Unless all hell breaks loose in my downstairs I'll head over to our friends' with the three young 'uns. And Cap will meet us there.
It's true of any day, but on days like today it's essential. Listen to the bod, respect the bod, and take it easy on the bod.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Peek-a-boo
Boy, am I tired. Jet lag persists.
Today annual check ups for Sag and me. Picked up a box of lovely cards for the numerous thank yous and other words-thoughts-feelings I'd like to express. Paid a bunch of bills. Wrote checks for the veggie CSA, the fruit CSA and the March and April eggs. Started an expenses (outgoing money) document and have it right on the computer desktop. Registered Sag for an art class. Renewed our art museum membership before registering for said art class. Planned dinner. Preparing dinner now (turkey meatloaf, peas and salad). Checked out TLo's Oscars bitchery. Fed children and myself. Signed up for Weight Watchers. Figured out how I can get to Vinny's and the kids could get to Pokemon tomorrow afternoon (Cap will do a conference call standing outside Time Warp...now that is love and cooperation).
I leave you with some pics of the Bay area sky during our trip. It was a pretty dramatic time of year weather-wise...
Today annual check ups for Sag and me. Picked up a box of lovely cards for the numerous thank yous and other words-thoughts-feelings I'd like to express. Paid a bunch of bills. Wrote checks for the veggie CSA, the fruit CSA and the March and April eggs. Started an expenses (outgoing money) document and have it right on the computer desktop. Registered Sag for an art class. Renewed our art museum membership before registering for said art class. Planned dinner. Preparing dinner now (turkey meatloaf, peas and salad). Checked out TLo's Oscars bitchery. Fed children and myself. Signed up for Weight Watchers. Figured out how I can get to Vinny's and the kids could get to Pokemon tomorrow afternoon (Cap will do a conference call standing outside Time Warp...now that is love and cooperation).
I leave you with some pics of the Bay area sky during our trip. It was a pretty dramatic time of year weather-wise...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Oatmeal
Something I enjoy about staying with friends is the inspiration I often find in their homes. While staying with Erika, Jerry and Malachi, I was thoroughly nourished by a wonderful bowl of oatmeal that Erika fed me.
This morning, well, afternoon, really (the kids and I woke up around noon), I made oatmeal. Inspiration incarnate. Love transported. A bowlful of soul.
McCann's quick oats, filtered water, raisins, unsweetened coconut, toasted walnuts, toasted sunflower seeds and maple syrup. (All ingredients found in the fridge and pantry...waiting patiently, to simply be put together.)
This morning, well, afternoon, really (the kids and I woke up around noon), I made oatmeal. Inspiration incarnate. Love transported. A bowlful of soul.
McCann's quick oats, filtered water, raisins, unsweetened coconut, toasted walnuts, toasted sunflower seeds and maple syrup. (All ingredients found in the fridge and pantry...waiting patiently, to simply be put together.)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Easing
Sag has been spending time putting his London Bridge Lego set together (he cobbled together a lot of birthday and special occasion money for that one!) It arrived the day after we left...not good timing on my part (as the adult I do bear the responsibility for such things), but it did give him something to look forward to after the trip. He has also been thoroughly enjoying the Neko Ramen manga he picked up (at my suggestion---Gem has never taken a suggestion of mine, incidentally) in Oakland.
Gem has been sleeping a lot. Our first night back he slept for 15 hours straight, waking at 2pm. He's been reading and enjoying his home food. He requested Cap's tortillas for his first dinner and enjoyed leftover tortillas the next day for every single meal and snack. He also requested a play date and yesterday we went over to Danielle's for a few hours. The kids went back there for more play today.
I've been eating. Chinese take-out last night, Japanese chocolate, leftover Berkeley burrito, and my must-have pastured eggs :-) I slept well the first night, but last night had trouble falling asleep and once I did, around 3am, I had wacky, wacky dreams. This afternoon I had alone time for the first time since before we left for Japan. It was very nice to listen to music, unpack, and catch up with some of my "stories".
Oh, super wonderful news: dear friend of the family (and one of Cap's oldest friends) Uncle Mike sent me his gently used iPhone having heard of my interest in Apple gadgetry. I've been having some fun with my new toy. Especially, Angry Birds :-)
I will be organizing my photos over the next couple of weeks and posting more here. Tonight, I leave you with a shot that looked good every time I saw it on my camera screen. Uploaded into iPhoto, I was delighted to see it came out really well. The kids with my Dad at Narita on the day we left Japan.
Gem has been sleeping a lot. Our first night back he slept for 15 hours straight, waking at 2pm. He's been reading and enjoying his home food. He requested Cap's tortillas for his first dinner and enjoyed leftover tortillas the next day for every single meal and snack. He also requested a play date and yesterday we went over to Danielle's for a few hours. The kids went back there for more play today.
I've been eating. Chinese take-out last night, Japanese chocolate, leftover Berkeley burrito, and my must-have pastured eggs :-) I slept well the first night, but last night had trouble falling asleep and once I did, around 3am, I had wacky, wacky dreams. This afternoon I had alone time for the first time since before we left for Japan. It was very nice to listen to music, unpack, and catch up with some of my "stories".
Oh, super wonderful news: dear friend of the family (and one of Cap's oldest friends) Uncle Mike sent me his gently used iPhone having heard of my interest in Apple gadgetry. I've been having some fun with my new toy. Especially, Angry Birds :-)
I will be organizing my photos over the next couple of weeks and posting more here. Tonight, I leave you with a shot that looked good every time I saw it on my camera screen. Uploaded into iPhoto, I was delighted to see it came out really well. The kids with my Dad at Narita on the day we left Japan.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Home
It feels great to be home. Will reflect and report in the next few days. For now, I leave you with this hilarity:
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