More food

It seems, there is always more food.

I hadn't grated Parm in a long time.  The microplane made it fast and fun.

Linda's hot artichoke dip.  A favorite appie from back in the day.  Enjoying the dairy right now.

Nom Nom Paleo's Quick Cream of Tomato soup.  This is a quick soup to put together.  The flavors deepened with every spoonful.  I bet it will taste even better tomorrow.  Could it use a bit of sweetness?  I wasn't convinced so I refrained from adding honey.

What wouldn't have happened

It sure has been a relaxing morning.  A string of experiences which would not have happened if we were in the car heading north right now.

 Sag was delighted.

 Inge's dip.

my breakfast.

Gem was delighted.

Inge's dip.  My brother's wife, Lisa, made this years and years ago.  My copy of the recipe is a printed e-mail dated December, 1999.  At the time, I was nonplussed by these ingredients which tasted so good.  Capers...anchovies...I was not yet an adventurous cook (I truly have Gem, who was born the following year, to thank for that) and I never made the dip.

This year, our plan was to go to Cap's aunt's house for Thanksgiving dinner.  I was eating dairy and I'd be surrounded by other dairy eaters.  As I flipped through my recipe book, I came across Inge's dip.  I enjoyed anchovies while in Barcelona and my interest in this recipe was piqued.

Inge's dip is not for everyone, as I learned last night.  I had bought all the ingredients for Massachusetts, but ended up bringing it to Queens.  Lisa had some nostalgic bites.  My sister found it too mayo-y (she is a recovering mayo-phobe who consumes mayo very rarely and with a lot of discrimination).  My mother found it way too salty (no added salt called for in the recipe, but my anchovy fillets were salted).

Me, I love it.  It is very creamy.  But, I find this dip to contain a lot of bright and strong flavors which go a long way in cutting through the strong cream factor.  I'm going off dairy again soon, so I am savoring each dollop right now.

Inge's Dip

1 Tbs chopped capers

1 cup chopped parsley

1 pint mayo

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 can chopped anchovies (I used a 2oz can of flat fillets in olive oil)

1 Tbs dried basil

1 Tbs Gulden's mustard (I used Dijon)

3 Tbs sour cream

juice from 1/2 lemon

Put all the ingredients in a bowl and mix them together.

Easy and tasty and holiday special.

Whirly whirl

On Tuesday, I was here:

Gem and his new Warriors book in an exam room.

He does not have mono, appears to be at the tail end of a virus, and we've been told to watch the low grade fever and resume normal activity.  He is feeling better and better, temp hovering up to 99º still on most days.  (He lost 4lbs. in two weeks...focusing on fattening him back up!)

I was also here:

We never made it to the pizzeria, but his Tour de Favorite Foods is over.  In the end, the grand finale won out.  He really effin' loves the cheeseburgers at Five Guys.  Later on this day, Sag popped a fever high enough to give us pause.

Late Tuesday night, we decided Sag and Cap would not be going to Massachusetts (we had already decided Gem and I were staying home).

Yesterday was mental insanity for me most of the day.  

I was in multiple conversations with Massachusetts family about our change of plans...and managed to forget to call key people.

I was in multiple conversation with the mechanic about our car and the various long-not-dealt-with glitches and noises, etc.  (He was fantastic...drove down to the house pick up my set of car keys when I said I couldn't get them to him easily because we didn't have a second car and I had two kids under the weather.  He wanted to try to get the rear hatchback open...the door hasn't opened in months...and Cap's keys were not working for him.)

I was in multiple conversations with various family members from my side of the family about when we could get over to Queens to take my parents' holiday picture.  I really felt the effects of my lack of balance and energy (Qi) as the day wore on and I felt more and more stressed and pressed by wanting to please the most people possible and not being able to please everyone.  This is never a good scenario!  It's always easier, smoother and simpler to have a singular well-lit path.  Ridiculous when I consider that no one was pressuring me or demanding to be pleased.  It was all me.

I continue to see how things are better than they were before.  When Cap called after he was done with his class, I was able to tell him how overwhelmed I felt.  He took the disjointed details I was spilling out, reorganized them, and became a quiet, reasonable beacon.

The kids were deemed well enough to travel.  I packed Inge's Dip, potato chips, a just-in-case meal for Gem, a collection of cheeses, a box of crackers, a snack for the car, candied pecans for my mom...and as soon as Cap came home with the car, we endured the trip to Queens which took twice as long as usual due to holiday traffic.

The holiday pic was taken, my sister's Sauerbraten rocked, we kept the cousins as not-on-top-of-each-other as we could (germ control), and my sister popped in The Wizard of Oz (which my guys have never seen).  It was lovely.

And last night at 9:35pm, we were here:

With everything going on, it was the first chance we had to food shop for an unexpected Thanksgiving at home.  I think this is the first non-traditional Thanksgiving we are having since Sag was born on Thanksgiving Day ten years ago.  (The store was not as crazy as I'd imagined it might be.)

I hope it's a good day for you wherever you are and whatever you do.  Peace and love.

P.S.  Good news on the car front.  The mechanic, who happens to love Legacy wagons and has a ton of experience working on Subarus, was pleasantly and genuinely surprised to feel that our car has some legs left on it.  We are starting with a relatively minor repair and if that holds up the working theory, then we will likely keep the car knowing it has another good couple of years with additional, reasonable work given the car's mileage age.  Yay!

Today's awesome

Thanks to Shannon for pointing me in their direction...steampunk Lego creations!!!

Lovely day

A very special Uglydoll from brother, a Moomintroll comics collection, the latest Nipper collection and a Flip.  He is a happy boy.

Sagittarius is 10

It's always such a treat to look back in photos.  (I missed a chunk from the end of Sacramento/beginning of NJ...those digital pics are on an external hard drive somewhere...)

He was born into water after a peaceful labor.  When the doula walked into the birth center, she heard my laughter come floating down the stairs.

He used to love holding a little toy in his hand.  He nursed till he was three, the sling was his preferred mode of travel while he was two, and he was talking by one.

He has always been easily absorbed by the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures that surround him...as well as the music, thoughts, questions and imagination within him.

He doesn't know what it is like to not have a twin-like companion in life.  These two have always gotten along.  Always.

He lives life fully and feels everything intensely.  When he laughs, it's like huge rays of sunshine.  When he cries, it's like deep churning midnight blue.  When he yells, it's red hot lava.  To know him is to adore him, but it is also to feel a little unnerved.  He is powerful stuff.

I feel lucky to know him, every day.  Happy birthday, Sagittarius ♥

Out with my single digit baby

With everything that has been going on with his brother, Sag has risen to the occasion gracefully.  It occurred to me this afternoon that if I didn't carve out some time now, I'd miss out in the blur of days coming up.

• We went to Sugee! to spend a gift certificate, but they were closed.

• From there, we moved on to Learning Express' new location. There, Sag spied something he thought Gem would love. (Gem swooned when he saw the pic.)

• I am in the market for some photo frames so we walked over to the photo shop I thought might be gone...and it was gone.  But, Sag's eye was caught by the old Learning Express location where they had a cute window display up.

• We then drove over to Time Warp for the Mameshiba, Edamame.  He spent some birthday money for this truly adorable being.

• We came home for a bit.  I made Gem's dinner.  Then, my second born and I headed out into the night for dinner.  He has been doing his first annual Birthday Tour de Favorite Foods with Cap for the most part and I wanted in.  (So far: chicken parm sub with onion rings at Mr. Dino's, a gelati at Rita's, bacon and eggs at Raymond's...on deck: Cap's French toast, a cheeseburger and fries at Five Guys and Mr. Dino's cheese pizza.  He had also asked for grilled skirt steak and a bacon and mayo sandwich on the bread machine bread, both of which had been on the menu for our "family" celebration which was canceled yesterday.)

Tonight, after much thought and consideration, we opted for Raymond's (where he had breakfast with Cap).  It is my favorite restaurant in town and they make a mean burger.  Sag decided he likes their cheese burger better than Five Guys...he'll get to test his theory tomorrow at lunch.  I had the fish tacos, making a conscious decision to have the grain.  They were delicious and so satisfying.  But, I can already feel the brain cloud settling.  Lesson learned...again.

• I wasn't sure he was going to have room for dessert.  (He could not stop eating the fries after the burger was done.  I understand this, their fries are amazing.  I had him pause and take some breaths and see if he could feel how full he was.  He couldn't, so I had him make a fist to get a visual on how small his stomach actually is.  This had an impact on him and we discussed how big our stomachs feel, especially if we think of the area from under the ribs to the tops of our legs as our "stomach".  He still wanted to keep shoveling :-)

Across the street there was a cupcake shop and a fro-yo place.  He chose the fro-yo and was excited, this was his first experience.  He sampled the blueberry and black cherry and really liked the black cherry.  He topped it with strawberries and rainbow sprinkles.  His review comparing fro-yo with ice cream: he liked that you could start enjoying fro-yo right away (because it's softer than ice cream), but felt that the flavors were not as concentrated as in ice cream.  He liked it a lot.

I am deeply grateful for the time we spent together today.  We didn't talk much, but I got to absorb and appreciate him absorbing and appreciating the world around him.  And, the silence we shared while eating?  Well, that's what you get when you put together two people who enjoy their food as much as we do.

Tomorrow, he turns 10.  Here he is, in utero, a month (to the day) before he joined us on the outside.

Trying to stay calm

Today has been one of those days.  A day when I can clearly see that our perceptions can go a long way towards mitigating our emotions.  And seeing that mind over matter can really matter.

I took Gem to get his blood drawn so it could be tested for mono/Epstein-Barr virus.  It did not go well for him.  No blood was drawn.  I came away with the realization that he really is too big to be physically overpowered by me (in a smooth and calm way).  I wish I'd had that clarity before I made the appointment, but...unlike a tooth extraction, I thought he might be able to handle a butterfly needle.  (He thought so, too.)

So, we're waiting to hear back from our family doc (who does e-mail...love that.)  We think we're going to proceed as though he does have mono, and treat him with at least 4 weeks of rest.

I have bought so much food (or ingredients for food) for celebrations that have not happened/I will not be present for.  It's kind of killing me.  Trying to stay positive and in the moment...tomorrow I am spending a lot of time in the kitchen making dips and veg and short ribs.  Therapeutic activity for me and therapeutic nourishment for Gem.

We are dropping the car off tomorrow night so a local mechanic with lots of Subaru experience can take a look-see on Wednesday sometime.  Craziness on the day before Thanksgiving.  Chaotic convergence.

Keeping the kids out of the fray as much as possible.  Keeping Cap close...when the poop hits the fan it helps so much knowing you're not in it alone.

 Sag with his new Mameshiba, Edamame.

the iPad has been a lifesaver.

A true day of rest

Harmonic convergence.  It's Sunday, yo.

We decided to cancel our family celebration of Sag's birthday.  Since moving back East (six years ago) the kids' birthdays have been observed in triplicate: with their buddies, with extended family (usually my side since they are geographically proximest), and en famille on the actual day.

We like birthdays around here.

Gem is still under the weather.  Did I mention we may test him for mono tomorrow?  Did you know mono is now Epstein-Barr?  (I didn't.)

So, today is an unexpected day.  I see it as a gift.  Daniel will be here for the day.  He's easy.  Sag will continue his Tour de Favorite Foods (first annual birthday event) with a stop at Rita's which shutters up till Spring tonight.  Gem will rest and heal.  Cap will work and work.  He has also suggested finishing the living room declutter today which would be...incredible.  One room actually done.  Be still my scattered heart!

Me?  I want to read.  All day.  I want to spend the day reading.  Something I used to do a lot.  Before I had kids.  I doubt I will be able to forego any cooking.  But, I might try.  I have started The Chestnut King, the third book in the 100 Cupboards trilogy.  I am not as grabbed by it as I was the first two books, but I'm giving it a go.  On deck, I have Shiver, which comes highly touted by Julie.

oh, and so enjoying my snuggly Scottish wool.

Wishing you some quiet rest and relaxation today.  And no mono.

American horror story

Truth be told, they had me at the font.  I'm a bit of a freak for fonts.  It fits right into my love of textiles, patterns, graphics.

But, when a show gets as much attention before it even airs, as this one did, I tend to turn my back on the bandwagon.  Plus, at the time, I was trying to decrease how much tv I was watching and being incredibly picky and choosy.

Nearly two months into the Fall season, during this I-need-a-daily-dose-of-escapism stressy time, I watched the pilot episode of American Horror Story.

Wow.

I wasn't sure I liked what I saw.  But, I did like some of it.  It was striking...and struck some nerves.  I gasped out loud and gasped in giggles.  It was, in a word, confusing.  It was, in another word, to a lesser degree, compelling.

I couldn't find the second episode anywhere.  So, I read a summary of it and watched the third episode last night.  I felt it didn't hold up as well as the pilot.  But, what I liked about the pilot, I liked even more in this episode.  Namely, the cast, especially Tami Taylor aka Coach's wife aka Connie Britton.  This actress was so iconic to me, it has been refreshing to see her embody another role skillfully and believably.

Yet, my confusion persisted.  I wanted to watch another episode, but part of me really questioned that desire.  So, I googled "American Horror Story" and "Onion AV", and thankfully, my most reliable arbiter of movie/tv came through for me.

I read this piece and felt much less alone in my confusion.  And it has a laugh out loud line near the end which ties together two shows I adore: Friday Night Lights and Community.  (B, you have to read the piece if only for this line...)

So, thank you Onion AV, I can move forward with clarity.  I am curious to see Sylar...on to episode 4!

Jack goes boating

I watched a movie yesterday.  Stress management.  Escape.  It was called Jack Goes Boating.  I liked it quite a bit.  It was quiet and meditative with moments of uncomfortable intensity.  It was definitely stage-y at times and I was not surprised to learn that it was, originally, a play.

The soundtrack was lovely.  Here's a song from it.  Dearly Departed by Devotchka.

Robotics

As August wound to a close, I asked the kids to think about new topics they wanted to explore this Fall.  Sag immediately said "Robotics".

And, so, in the past ten weeks, he has dipped his toes into this new-for-us field of study.  Lego has a robotics branch and his experiences (both in a class at a local enrichment center and as part of a newly formed homeschooling First Lego League team) have been predominantly in Lego Robotics.

Sag has an engineer/builder/scientist's curiosity.  And the imagination and creativity of an artist.  These innate qualities and his longtime passion for building with Lego dovetailed wonderfully for a focused period of growth in a new area.  (In both settings, having string teachers who were themselves artful in their guidance, was a true gift.)

Yesterday, his Robotics class had their tug-of-war derby.  It was their last class and families were invited to come watch.  I stayed home with Gem (who was still sick), but Cap went.  It was very exciting to receive a text that Sag's robot had won his division.

I am so grateful that Sag has walked away from this experience with such a deep sense of accomplishment.  Not so much that he performed so well in the culminating activity (though there is a special sense of pride that comes with that), but that he did this on his own, separate from us.  This experience required him to flex his wings of independence in different ways every week.

He did it, and he did it with a smile.  (Today he participates in his first ever First Lego League tournament with his team, The Learning Pirates!)

No alarms, no surprises

My breakfast.  I took this shot this morning...it feels like so long ago already.  The end of the pulled pork with zesty zauce, store bought guacamole (oh, to be back in northern Cali where avocado can be found fresh and ripe year round) and cilantro chimichurri.  Oh, the pork was scrambled with eggs.

My food nourishes me.  And is healing my body and its systems in new and wonderful ways.  But, it takes so much time and energy to pull it all together.  I am struggling to hold the other parts of my life.

I can only do what I can do.  One step at a time.  Focus and be present.

It has been hard to find flow this Fall.  I suppose it might be true of every Fall.  I love this season, but it's not really mine.

Pecans have been candied (for my mom), bacon is baking, thinking on what to make and bring for sustenance to the all day First Lego League tournament Sag is participating in tomorrow.

Sag's last Robotics class is today.  Sadly, I won't make it to the open classroom because Gem is still recovering from being sick.

This melancholy song, covered here by (another Wes alum) Amanda Palmer, is what came to mind as I sit here sad and forlorn. I made a parenting mistake which deeply hurt one of the kids.

Mighty fine advice

Kelly sent along these inspirational nuggets...thank you, friend.
 
ONE.   

Give  people more than they expect and do it  cheerfully. 

TWO.   

Marry  a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get  older, their conversational skills will be as  important as any other. 

 
THREE.   

Don't  believe all you hear, spend all you have or  sleep all you want. 

 
FOUR.   

When  you say, 'I love you,' mean  it.  

 
FIVE.  

 When  you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the  eye. 

 
SIX.   

Be  engaged at least six months before you get  married. 

SEVEN.   

Believe  in love at first  sight.  

EIGHT.   

Never  laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have  dreams don't have much.

 
NINE.   

Love  deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but  it's the only way to live life completely.  

 
TEN.   

In  disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.  

 
ELEVEN.   

Don't  judge people by their  relatives.  

 
TWELVE.  

 Talk  slowly but think  quickly.  

 
THIRTEEN.  

When  someone asks you a question you don't want to  answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to  know?' 

 
FOURTEEN.   

Remember  that great love and great achievements involve  great risk.

FIFTEEN.   

Say  'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze. 

SIXTEEN.   

When  you lose, don't lose the  lesson.  

 
SEVENTEEN.  

 Remember  the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for  others; and Responsibility for all your actions.  

 
EIGHTEEN.   

Don't  let a little dispute injure a great friendship.  

 
NINETEEN. 

When  you realize you've made a mistake, take  immediate steps to correct  it.  

 
TWENTY. 

Smile when picking up the phone.  The caller will hear it in your voice .

 
TWENTY-  ONE.  

Spend  some time alone.  

On inspiration

Okay, so this morning, clearly, I am filling in the void that Google Reader "Sharing" has left behind.  Bits and blurbs from the internets delivered right to the blog.  Through my manatee filter.

I love Alex Chee's writing.  He went to our university, but neither of us knew him very well.  Edinburgh is a beautiful and haunting read.  I am eagerly awaiting his next novel.  In the meantime, I enjoy his musings and essays on his blog.

Enjoy this one, on inspiration, writing, talent and stamina.

Serotonin

This time of year can be tough.  Here are some ways to boost your serotonin levels and even things out:

• sunshine

• massage

• exercise

• remembering happy events

Read all about it, here.

Madeiran mosaics

Portugal has long been on my short list of places I'd like to spend time.  I don't talk about it much because travel for pure leisure has dropped off my life style since the children came along and we became a single income family.

Needled's most recent blog post has reignited my interest in Portugal...some day, some day...

Murmuration

This has been making the internet rounds.  We are so lucky to be surrounded by such wonders.  Inspires me to get outside!



Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Add it to the mix

We are probably buying a new car soon.

I have gone from feeling excited and finding the process fun, to feeling sick about it...and a bit stressed.

It's a money thing.  Its a change thing.  So psychological.

We are leaning very much towards the new Prius wagon since Subaru no longer makes a Legacy wagon.  We got our Subaru just before Gem was born.  11+ years and nearly 180K miles later, I am grateful to our trusty, but increasingly tired and run down, vehicle for all its seen us through.

Here's to the future...(as she tries to keep her glass from wobbling...)

Food, glorious food

Caught up on some sleep (did you know, technically, there is no catching up?), woken by tween mid-dream at 8:20am.

Spent some time before breakfast perusing my recipe binder.  We will be celebrating Thanksgiving with Cap's Aunt Nancy in Massachusetts.  It was fun remembering celebratory foods from years past.  This year, the paradigm shifts yet again and I will be eating dairy, but no sugar or grains.

Here is what I am planning on contributing to this year's feast:

Almond Poppyseed Crackers (I have yet to eat these with a smear of dairy and honey as the original recipe called for...maybe this time?)

Tomato Jam

Inge's Dip (shared with me by Lisa, my SIL...a dip she made years and years ago that I have never forgotten...and never made)

Hot Artichoke Dip (I could actually use my former lead teacher, Linda's, recipe which was my go to dip in my pre-GFCF years...anyone who came to one of our Solstice parties will remember this dip fondly...)

I may also bake some sweet potato spears (Angela's recipe) and roast some Brussels sprouts with maple syrup...and I may make GFCF rice crispy treats for the kidlets.

Gem has requested turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes and soy ice cream.  All easy to prepare beforehand and transport to MA.  (Well, except for transporting the ice cream, but I have Jay working on that one.)

All this thinking about food made me hungry!

My breakfast was lovely.  Leftover roasted tomatoes with smears of one of my new favorite cheeses.  Bonus: Cap left some fresh, hot coffee before he dashed off to catch is bus.

I am feeling better than I was yesterday...Gem is dipping again...whatever it is that hit us, it's not been super intense, but it is hanging around.  Vinny later...yes.

Peace and love.