No crystal ball

I realized tonight there is something specific taking up valuable real estate in my mind that I haven't mentioned.  We may move this summer, after all.

The house has become more albatross than anything else for our landlord, this year.  His wife is sick and he does not have the time or energy to devote to dealing with the house (which was a stretch for him even before he got married a few years ago).

He was here the other day helping our downstairs neighbor with something (she is moving out July 1 after living here for 12 years!) and let it drop that he's considering putting the house on the market "as is" and seeing if he gets any interest.

We were seriously thinking about moving on up this Summer when our lease was up.  We would love just a bit more breathing room now that the kids are nearly as tall as we are.  They were 4 1/2 and 6 when we moved here.  As Gem would say, "le sigh".

But then, we bought the car.  And we got nervous about the double whammy on the budget: new car payment and bump in rent.  So we thought we'd stay put...and now the Universe seems to be suggesting we develop a plan B.

So, I have been looking at rental listings.  My late night scrolls through Trulia are engrossing.  Clicking through photographs, mapping out locations, chuckling at words like "cozy" and...chewing my lip when I see, again and again, how much nicer the apartments are once you leapfrog over our rent budget ceiling.

Le sigh.

I do not know what will happen.  I wish I had a crystal ball.  Not knowing is hard, but what's harder is not succumbing to useless worry about what might happen and how negatively that might impact the kids.

What I do know is that I really love this apartment.  It's too small, but it's our too small.  It's kind of dinghy and dilapidated, but it also has a lot of character.  This is the space the kids have lived the longest in their lives.  And for Cap and me, our time here falls just shy of the apartment we lived in the longest up till now (Sargent Street in Cambridge).

In a way, I can't imagine living anywhere else.  Which is dangerous for the heart.  And may explain some of the late night/off-Paleo shenanigans.

Peace and love...and feng shui.

crystal ball by jantsu18

Sagittarius is 10

It's always such a treat to look back in photos.  (I missed a chunk from the end of Sacramento/beginning of NJ...those digital pics are on an external hard drive somewhere...)

He was born into water after a peaceful labor.  When the doula walked into the birth center, she heard my laughter come floating down the stairs.

He used to love holding a little toy in his hand.  He nursed till he was three, the sling was his preferred mode of travel while he was two, and he was talking by one.

He has always been easily absorbed by the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures that surround him...as well as the music, thoughts, questions and imagination within him.

He doesn't know what it is like to not have a twin-like companion in life.  These two have always gotten along.  Always.

He lives life fully and feels everything intensely.  When he laughs, it's like huge rays of sunshine.  When he cries, it's like deep churning midnight blue.  When he yells, it's red hot lava.  To know him is to adore him, but it is also to feel a little unnerved.  He is powerful stuff.

I feel lucky to know him, every day.  Happy birthday, Sagittarius ♥