Winter solstice

I had a thought...and followed through.  Again, with this thing which is un-ADDishness.  

My thought was this: I would like to go on our Solstice hike on the day of the Solstice.  Since our friends with whom we started this tradition switched from homeschooling to schooling, it has been challenging to line up schedules to hike on the actual days of solstices and equinoxes.

We have even skipped hikes because the timing didn't mesh.

This Winter Solstice, I wanted to return to the source.  To be in nature, a familiar vantage point from which to note, observe and live rhythm.  I hoped our friends would join us (this would require pulling one of their kids out of school early), but was prepared to go through with the hike ourselves if they couldn't.

Everything aligned and we walked around the pond together.  The setting sun was somewhat muted due to the clouds.  Yet the silvery sable landscape caught patches of burnished orange and rust as the sun set through the stark winter branches.  While we stopped to snack, on tangelos from Florida and marzipan potatoes from Germany, the clouds cleared enough to give the treetops that warm glowing Inness light.

Our walk was a string of stunning, perfect moments.  How lucky we are, how grateful I am, to experience such wonder.  Simply by being who we are and being where we are.

Wishing you much love and light on this darkest day of the year.

Shout outs

During this intense time of shopping and commercial crazy, I have had the absolute pleasure of receiving, sometimes unexpectedly, incredibly responsive and top notch customer service.

Hats off to you Keep Calm Arsenal, Akiseo, Watchung Booksellers, Toys R Us, L.L. Bean, and Hanna Andersson.

And a very special mention goes out to Jerry's Artist Outlet.  Once a year, I venture out to this wonderfully well stocked art supply haven for stocking stuffers.  Every year I wonder why I don't come to the store more often.  I had a lovely, lovely time wandering the aisles last week and picked up some inspiring items.

Thanks for keeping it humane and spiritful.

Seeing red

Makes me smile.

The only thing keeping me from buying four more red storage cubes from Ikea was time.  It was never the right time to go get 'em.  Then, the other day, somehow it came up in conversation with Tiina.  And we discovered that they were looking to unload just what I was looking for.

Makes me sad.

A situation with friends that keeps repeating itself.  It's something that triggers a primal response...that is negative...protective.  Despite the bigness of the emotions that rear up, it's not a huge thing.  Nothing worth discussing, no less making a shift in the relationship.  I heard myself saying out loud, to myself, something I said to Cap recently.  "You don't have to understand it.  It's okay not to."  That helped me let it go.

Angry birds go classical

Very fun.  Go have a listen here.

That's a wrap!

 holiday cards are done!

After a fitful night of sleep (final caffeinated cuppa came too late in the night, even for me; restless sleep of sick child right next to me), I woke up and started holiday carding.

I feel like I'm beginning to sound like a broken record...but things were so much better this year with this seasonal task.  (Last year, in a fit of I-can't-deal-with-this, I decided not to send out a holiday card for the first time since we started sending them.)

I naturally and unconsciously dealt with the process in small, broken down steps.

A few weeks ago I began inputting the names and addresses of recipients into a document in the computer.  Something I've thought of doing before, many times, but something that never got to the "do"-ing.

Also a few weeks ago, I created a folder in my iPhoto for photos that were contenders for gracing the card.  I began searching for pics and putting them in the folder.

Then, I went onto the Kodak site and searched through the different templates to get a feel for what we wanted.  This card was created by consensus, amongst the four of us.

The master list of addressees took awhile.  My brain experiences data entry as extremely tedious (unlike Lego sorting, which it loves).  I kept at it every few days and after about two weeks, I was done.  I then had Cap add anyone I missed.  Then, we had the grand total.  (Over 100.)

One day I had to go to the post office so I bought a bunch of this year's delightful 'holiday baubles' stamps while I was there.

The list was done, the stamps were bought, now to create a card.  That we could all agree on.  Which did not happen quickly.

Our foliage photo op weekend up at my sister's cabin in the woods was transformed by a snow storm in October.  Our Xmas tree photo op at my sister's apartment the night before Thanksgiving was thwarted by posing overkill (we shot a bunch of pics for my parents' holiday card first).

It was finally mid-December and I gave an ultimatum.  If the card wasn't done and ordered by the 16th (the next day), I was going to let it go.  Personally, I wanted the cards out in the celebratory ether before Christmas, if they were going to happen at all.

The four of us huddled around the computer screen.  We took some Photobooth shots, we scrolled through photos, we matched pics with card templates.  And it was done.

The silver lining to the process taking as long as it did?  The discount at Kodak was deeper!  I ordered the cards online and Cap picked them up the next day at our local Target.  I was so stoked that I decided to write a "highlights" note to insert into the cards.

Cap's face looks ham-pink, unfortunately.  But, otherwise, it's a nice photo of us.  He selected the template, which I almost nixed.  I'm glad I didn't because it looks much nicer than it did on a screen.

The cards ended up sitting on the table for a few days because we had company over the weekend.  This was followed by the urge to finish shopping solo while Cap worked with the kids on Monday and Tuesday.  By this morning, I knew it was now or never.

So, I plowed through nearly half the cards before I headed out for some more shopping.  I went back to the post office for international stamps and handed over my stamped pile.  I made my shopping stops.  I came home, refortified with lunch and then plowed through the rest of the cards.

I did not expect to finish them in a day.  I am convinced that my increased organization with the process and my improved attitude/demeanor during the process helped.  I love that the four of us truly worked together to create the card.

This is striking me as...funny and inane that I have devoted a whole post to holiday cards.

But, the feeling of "that's a wrap!" was so good...it's what drove me to share.  For folks with ADDishness, it is uncommon to finish what one starts.  This feeling of satisfaction is a rare commodity for some.  The more I experience events in a more attentionally typical way, the more I realize, with true wonder, how differently I've been living from most other people for a long while now.

Peace and love.

Taking it down a notch

Sag has been in that shadow place: sick and sleepy yet not asleep.  Gem got up to eat again and fixed himself a piece of toast with melted Daiya and a glass of rice milk.  Cap arrived home a little bummed (whiny student), but cheered up showing Gem this seasonal clip from way back when.

Me, I haven't picked up the book yet (you can see it there on the table).  I've been enjoying the Christmas lights, sipping a hot cup of milky tea and nestling into the quiet of the season.  Tapping into my hibernating bear self.  Yes.

What's up

Gem's cold is ebbing from his body as it has begun flowing into Sag's.  We saw Vinny for our last treatments of 2011.

The Flip camera Sag received for his birthday has been devouring AA batteries.  I picked some rechargeables up on a short trip out with Danielle and Leo to Best Buy.

I experienced firsthand why express shipping, if you can afford it, is so worth it.  The secret gift (which turned out to be amazingly sweet, soft and sizable) arrived today, less than 24 hours after ordering and paying for 2-day shipping.

Local grass-fed ground beef on sale at Whole Paycheck: nice.  Having Gem declare (through moans of pleasure) my burgers are his new favorite food: priceless.

Another day gone with no progress on holiday cards.  There's always tomorrow.  After I write some logistical e-mails and call the comic book store about yet another gift, I am off to bed with World Without Fish...which was due back to the library today.

Peace and love.

'Tis the season

My hands hold up my head...I is tired.  Today was a day of errands.  

My glasses are in the shop.  The good news is I finally brought them in to the eye doc who confirmed that, indeed, there were perfectly circular marks on both lenses.  Apparently, from when the lenses were made.  My lenses have various coatings so they're going to have to be remade.  The bad news is that I won't have my glasses, probably till after the new year.  The good news is I still have my old glasses and so far they are not giving me a headache.

The car could not be seen at the shop.  This means we have to decide whether to buy new tires before our trip to MA next week without knowing whether the repair done two weeks ago has, in fact, resolved a much larger issue...an issue which would actually make or break our keeping this car.  The tires are pretty bald...but the thought of spending the money on new tires and labor for a car we may not be keeping much longer...

I have been quite successful in avoiding malls this holiday season.  Since deciding to give Amazon my cold shoulder, I have shopped locally and quite happily.  It's getting to be down-to-the-wire time (Cap and I once stopped in at a mall in Braintree on our way down to celebrate with his sister and dad...our hope that the mall would still be open at 6pm was severely dashed).  

This morning I made numerous calls trying to locally source a certain type of stuffed animal and was thwarted.  So, for the first time ever, after consulting with Cap, I plunked down the dough for express shipping from an online store (that was not Amazon).

I did brave a trip to Barnes and Noble this afternoon and it wasn't too bad traffic-wise on the road or in the store.  Thankfully, I was able to go sans kids.

Dishes keep piling up in the kitchen as my attention goes elsewhere.  I was happy to see that leftover Chinese eggplant with spicy garlic sauce paired pretty well with Mediterranean feta salsa from Whole Paycheck.  I did manage to make a meat sauce for the kids and restock on watermelon and berries.

Off to fold laundry, watch the season finales of Homeland and Dexter, and write, write, write holiday cards!

Cousin time

The Commonwealth cousins came down for the weekend.  It was short, but super sweet.  They, and their moms, are such good eggs.

Books!

 Lookin' a little maniacal...

The four cousins are watching Panda Go Panda and there is a lot of giggling behind me.  I'm minding the kids while the other three grown ups are out.

These are two new books, both from my list.  The Windup Girl was an anniversary gift from Cap.  Nine Simple Patterns for Complicated Women was a gift from me.  I figured it'd be cool to allow myself to buy one of the books off my list.

Today was kind of a weird day.  Much calm amidst the storm of the season...the tides which felt so overwhelming last week are not pulling at me as much this weekend.  I just kind of did one thing at a time, without stress, without struggle.  Cooked up the ground beef and the whole chicken that had thawed in the fridge and were ready to go...yesterday.  Picked up Daniel and had him over.  (Donna has been sick as a dog the past two days.)  We were very housebound today.  Cap was up at school most of the day and Gem wanted to stay put in his pajamas all day.

After dropping Daniel back home, Sag and I stopped into our local bookshop as the light fled and the cold nipped our cheeks.  Stepping into the warmly lit hues of books and sweaters and smiles, I took a deep breath in and out.  I love this place.  We picked up some books I'd ordered, had two of them gift wrapped, and back out into almost-Winter we swept.

Now I get to listen to these kids stitch together a memory.  They have moved onto Surf's Up.  I'm going to make some tea and sit back.  Tomorrow morning, as long as Gem's feeling better and his fever is, indeed, gone, I will be at Whole Paycheck picking up short ribs.  My side of the family will be over for holiday celebrating in the afternoon.

Peace and love.

This little light of mine

Cap and I were able to go out to dinner for our anniversary last night.  Between Jay and her family arriving and Gem's is-he-or-isn't-he under-the-weatherness, we weren't sure how things would go. 

We went to Egan's after considering Mesob (Ethiopian) and Brick Lane (Indian).  It was too dim to photograph my most excellent meal.  I had half a dozen delectably briny oysters to start.  For my entree I had a special, NY strip steak crusted with bleu cheese and mushrooms.  It was scrumptious.  I had a lovely salad of greens in lieu of the mashed potatoes.

But, the star of the plates was the side of broccoli rabe that came with my steak.  Oh.  My.  God.  It had a sublime umami to it that I couldn't figure out.  So, so, so, so good.

Grateful to live in a town that's a foodie's delight.  Grateful for friends who will watch our kids on short notice.  Grateful for our income which allows for indulgences on special occasions.  Grateful for a life, and a season, of such bounty and light.

Happy day

Taking a break from my Dyson to wish Cap a happy anniversary!  22 years ago tonight we shared our first kiss at a house party in San Francisco.  This shot was taken on Ben's and my back porch in the Mission district during the year I lived in SF.  Cap and I re-met that year in the Bay Area (we first met as college freshmen back in 1984 O.o)

I have no words to string together eloquently.

Love.  Amazing.  Grateful.  Lots of laughs.  So, so, solid.

And a lovely time it was

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I hosted a Minecraft homeschoolers gathering.  Seven kids with their laptops and my guys on our desktop.  It was fun!

The introvert in me wipes out after an event like this.  I was tired last night and feel a bit more tired this morning.  But, it was totally worth it.  We met brand new folks and got to know people we've only caught glimpses of here and there.  All of us were pretty stoked.  This game is truly something.

This morning I fortified with a heaping plate of protein.  The last of the pot roast and kick ass pastured eggs showered with Parmesan.

I am moving slowly towards getting our room ready for weekend guests.  Jay, Amy and the kids are coming!  Our holiday cards are in the house and I jotted a nice little "highlights" note last night.  I'd really rather do those than clean, but what can I say, I am less governed by my impulses these days and so off I go to tidy up.

Here's a shot from our late night Photo Booth shoot two nights ago (we almost used this one but decided Sag's face was just a touch too tucked behind Gem's melon of a head):

Peace and love y'all.

Right now

Already this morning I've yammered on to Cap about being convinced that at least some of my cells have lived through trauma connected to this time of year.  What else can explain how deeply rattled my system has been feeling?

Full moon?  Yes.

Shortest day of the year?  Yes.

Seasonal Affective Disorder?  Yes.

Holiday madness?  Yes.  (The most lunatic of oxymorons.)

Yet, yet, yet...it struck me this morning.  Something is being remembered as wrong.  Way down inside me.

Here come the bullets:

• dinner and dessert were well received last night.  (Cap made poached cardamon pears...yum)

• I felt like I *got* the slow cooker a bit more yesterday as I eased the pork into a nice, tender finish.

• hosting a gaggle of homeschooling Minecrafters this afternoon.  excited and nervous.

• MA cousins coming this weekend!

• holiday celebration with family this weekend...latkes!

• getting some stuff done in the big bedroom (impending guests provide good impetus :-)

• I love tzatziki.

• my three dudes rock.

Peace and love.

Cooking for a crowd

We're hosting common meal tonight.  I rose early (for me) and picked up our chicken, eggs and apples from our CSA.  Then popped over to Whole Paycheck (appreciated that they are not sticklers for opening only on the dot) for tzatziki fixings.

Baton touched with Cap who headed downstate while I headed into the kitchen.

Dug out the pork shoulder that'd been getting loved on by a spice/herb/salt rub in the fridge for the past two days.  Placed it into the slow cooker with sliced onions and carrot disks.

Put together a tzatziki.  I'm wondering why mine looks so different from the photo accompanying the recipe.  No matter, it's hard to go wrong with plain full fat Greek yogurt, English cuke and garlic.

On deck, a veggie Thai red curry and braised cabbage.

Music mosaic

I love a good cover.



Which led to the original. The kids discovered Led Zeppelin tonight.



Which led to a certain earworm from the 90s which made its way into the kids' ears recently.



Which brings us back to another cover...though re-rendering may be a better term for it. (From one of our favorite "holiday" movies.)

Stitched together

Patiently waiting.

The pot roast I thought cooked for two hours actually needs to cook for three.  It's coming out soon, dinner is late tonight.

It smells...so comforting.

Last night we drove out to Astoria for a celebration dinner.  My cousin, Momoko, has finished her program at FIT in interior design!  She arrived to NYC seven years ago at age 18.  She has worked so hard and nurtured her passion/talent.  Incredibly independently, an ocean and continent away from her parents and friends.  Color me impressed and inspired.

My aunt, Momoko's mother, flew in for the thesis presentation (graduation will be in May).  So she was at last night's dinner.  I've always loved this aunt for her gentle manner and quick intelligence.  And, she always gives the perfect gift.  For the kids, she brought erasable markers and colored pencils.  For me, she brought thread and cloth for sashiko.

I am so grateful to my parents and extended circle of aunts and uncles.  They provided us cousins with strong and loving relationships which have connected us through decades of time and thousands of miles of distance.

Stitched together, we are.

Name day

One way we honor and celebrate the Finnish aspect of our family is by celebrating name days.  Cap and I decided to integrate this cultural tradition into our home when the kids were born.

Both boys have names which are names in Finnish and Japanese.  Cap's name is also a name in Finnish.  Mine is not.  So I dusted off and used my confirmation name to find my name day.

(I was lucky enough to be baptized at age 12, of my own choice.  At the time it was a very meaningful experience.  I was confirmed the following year and was delighted to be able to choose a name for myself, having already developed a deep interest in the origins and meanings of names.  I chose Anne...Bernadette was a very close second.)

My name day was two days ago, but we celebrated this morning.  I was presented with a lovely breakfast.  Instead of his usual GFCF Nisu (Finnish cardamon bread), Cap made me Primal-friendly sweet and savory crepes using almond and coconut flours and sweetened with stevia.

They were so good.  I am one lucky woman.

 my Sacramento skirt.

 happy name day!

 floral arrangement by Gem strawberry blossom and hydrangea.

 stevia sweetened strawberry crepes dusted with cinnamon.

 garlic scrambled egg crepes topped with tomato and showered with Parmesan.

on my 2012 book list...love this cover!

Bits

 the salvaged pork scrambled well.

 Gem put together this Winter arrangement.

a domestic scene from yesterday.

I finished Shiver and I liked it.  I've requested the second book form the library.  I've started World Without Fish.  It's a profoundly powerful read so far and I am finding it difficult to get through because it's so...depressing.

Spiriting