(No paparazzi!)Kinder's fiery to start with.
But, in the last few weeks, he has had a number of bloody noses. He's also had some molluscum warts pop up on his arm (on the inside of his elbow). The heat seems to be finding spots of vulnerability and forcing itself out.
There has been an elevated intensity in his protests over injustices, a quick and fast banshee-like shriek. And there has been hitting.
This has coincided with lots of busy-ness at home (since returning from the homeschooling conference), which for him, has probably felt like chaos. I've been playing around with lifting limits on tv and computer time, bedtime is later than it has ever been for the boys, I dealt with GI issues for a week, a slew of activity around First's birthday, and then, a heatwave.
The instinct to grab hold of him and simply hold him is strong. He is out of balance, his system out of whack. He is getting good sleep, and that is a good thing. Between houseguests and the heatwave, we've been fully co-sleeping, which is truly his preferred mode.
But, he is six and a half now, and I'm finding that it's not so simple as carrying him around with me all day, calming him and recalibrating him, heartbeat to heartbeat, skin to skin. He needs more... He needs to know that he has the power to rebalance himself and he needs to learn how.
So here's a point at which true unschooling doesn't work for me. I need to step in and say "no" to unlimited tv and computer. For this little boy, it heats him up and he is not able, yet, to recognize the signs of overheating and naturally correct the imbalance.
It's not all or nothing though. I am, at 42, dealing with inefficiency in correcting my own imbalances when they happen. And I do think there is a power in unschooling which gives growing minds and bodies the gift of a strong and simple connection between what you want and what you do which is healthy and active.
I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. A time of paying closer attention to my younger one. To help him help himself cool off (eating cucumber, watermelon, mung bean sprouts) and for all of us, to simply slow down and regroup.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear he's all fired up - but there has been an awful lot going on - hasn't there? I hope things settle inside of him soon. I know it's rough watching your child go through a rough patch like this, but you're absolutely right, this is an opportunity for him to learn how to deal with these issues on his own. And I think to for him to be able to watch you deal with your own issues is a positive thing. Just as you are learning how all your buttons work (aren't we all) he has to learn how to control his.
My relax button today was to watch an hour of tv, by myself, in the middle of the afternoon! Freakin' luxury!
Thanks, Julie.
Last night I was remembering that Wendy had mentioned the title of a child development book about six year olds: Your Six Year Old---Loving and Defiant.
So, part of this is natural development, I think. He's been saying things like, "you never let me do anything I want!!!", and "you don't control me!!!"
His feelings are true even if the reality is not. And that's a hard place to be sometimes...
It is so important to relax in the moments we can, to rebalance and recalibrate. What does it say about us that we consider those moments a luxury?
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