Gem is signing his name to his thank you cards, putting them in the correct envelopes and sticking the Sinatra stamps on them. Why do I have to send a card to someone if I said thank you to them already?Um. Just because. No. I didn't really say that. But, teaching the kids about gratitude (or being made to feel that I haven't done enough in this regard) has been the cause of occasional pangs of guilt, doubt and regret.
This may have to do with boy-ness and girl-ness. There are girlish aspects to Cap, Gem and Sag in their personalities and their beings. I do think we are all a mix of both at birth. But, it's looking like maybe Gem and Cap are a bit more to one side and Sag and I to the other when it comes to expressing our feelings.
Cap and I not only express our gratitude in different ways, but I think we actually feel it in different ways. Yet, we have never discussed how we want to model the expression of gratitude for our kids, and teach them the many ways there are to say "thank you".
In Waldorf practices, reverence (a sister to gratitude) is a cornerstone of what and how to model and provide for young children. I was very drawn to this idea, but had a hard time folding it into our lives to the extent that I thought I wanted to. (It was too much for just me to take on...it didn't resonate for Cap in the same way.)
I still haven't done more than flip through Soulemama's book, but one of the things that caught my fleeting attention were her family/home activities that accentuate gratitude.
Food for thought, time for some more cud chewing.
2 comments:
For starters - you should SEE what they want me to type to get this past security: wlhhjhxb
Come on!
Second - the whole gratitude thing raises a good point. I'm a firm believer that if someone sends a gift - you should definitely send a thank you card, but what if you do say a very specific and sincere thanks in person? Hmmm.
For Magoo - I make him participate in the notes to drive home the point. But let's say I was at your house and I gave you a gift and you said thanks right then and there - that'd be good enough for me. My mother - she'd be looking for the thank you note in the mailbox every day.
I guess what it boils down to, for me, is what I feel each individual needs to feel like what they've done is truly appreciated. For some it's not more then a mention - for others, something a little more formal.
We'll put this into practice tomorrow at Cam's 5 1/2 yr par-tae.
Happy birthdays and half-birthdays to daddy and Magoo.
You bring up a good point, that the recipients of the "thank you" has varying degrees of expectations, desires and needs.
I think that Gem's resistance to my traditional thank you response will forge the way for discovering new ways to express thanks.
More organic to who we each are.
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