One hundred percent

"Be there truly.  Be there with 100 percent of yourself.  In every moment of your daily life.  That is the essence of true Buddhist meditation.  Each of us knows that we can do that, so let us train to live each moment of our daily life deeply.  That is why I like to define mindfulness as the energy that helps us to be there 100 percent.  It is the energy of your true presence."  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Before I had kids I did not think about things like mindfulness.  Of course Buddhism and its tenets have existed for millenia, but pre-"new millenium" words like mindfulness were not bandied about amongst non-disciples like they are today.

So I cannot speak to my natural predisposition for being there with 100 percent of myself.  Maybe Cap could.  What I can tell you is that since I became a parent it has become quite impossible to do so.

I have attempted to end run myself into thinking that I am being there 100 percent at all times because not only am I mother, I am an attachment mother.  Ergo, all of it, all of me, is wrapped up in motherhood.  Motherhood = personhood.  A quid pro quo, at least till the kids become adults.

Which is it?  Maybe both.  Likely simply a process.  Moment-to-moment is all there is.  One can tap into the eternal juice in a variety of forms within a single physical lifetime.

This a mere scratch on the surface.  We could go all day.  Or, for days. 

I finished a dazzling graphic novel last night about a mother and daughter, motherhood, infant psychology (Donald Winnicott), analysis, memoir...it was dense but so connective (Virginia Woolf and Adrienne Rich were both used as touchstones throughout the narrative).  It seemed so much about this particular daughter-mother pair, but had, I thought, deep and broad universal reverberations in the end.  I loved it.

Off to go be there 100 percent with the next thing.

Peace and love.