Physical

A few days ago, while Wendy was still here and I talked to her about some of what has been on mind re: the physical, it seemed so much clearer.  A head cold does intrude.

I could start with now, I could start with a long, long time ago.

A thought I had last night while lying awake and wanting to be falling asleep: for most of my life I have either thought I was overweight (and wasn't at all) or have been overweight without giving it much thought/fully realizing it (being surprised at my appearance in photos, a season returning and not being able to fit into its clothes).

My weight gains and weight losses have never been by design.  In our society weight gain is rarely by design.  But weight loss usually is.  The three times in my adult life that I have lost overage in my body mass have been due to:

• change in diet/culture: the year I lived alone in Japan right after college.

• illness brought on by stress: the year I had gastritis and was put on medication and the BRAT (banana, rice, apple sauce, toast) diet.

• continual unconscious massive calorie burning: the third year Sag and I nursed.

Turning my attention to the physical is not all about my experience of being overweight.  And yet it dominates.  A lot of strands come together.  Because of my age, my eagerness and excitement over redefining the second half of my life, I have been thinking about the internal physical aspects of being overweight.

I am overweight because I eat too much.  And I am sedentary.  The whys seem less and less crucial to figure out as I age (comfort eating, emotional issues, love of eating, compulsive about eating but not about exercising...) 

It would, simply, be better for my physical comfort and controllable longevity to lose some excess weight.

Not to 'look' better, but to give my internal organs, and myself and my kids, more time.

Michael Pollan comes to mind: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

Dragon's Way and Qigong comes to mind.

Daily gentle walking comes to mind.  (In the woods?  Bonus points.)

Why is it so hard to connect the part of my mind that thinks of these strategies to the part that executes my behavior?

Kiddus interruptus.  More later.