Eyes opened around 3am for the second time in three days. I tried a variety of relaxation techniques and stayed in bed/in the dark till about 5am. By then I was wide awake and the sky was lightening.
Right before I got out of bed, I made a mental list of...what to call it...symptoms?...issues?...states of being?...that I have been dealing with during this post-Barcelona time. (Some of these things have been present since before Barcelona and even during...but they have all been significantly impacting me ever since.)
• social anxiety
• insomnia
• GI irregularity/discomfort
• brain fog/attention deficit
• my version of PMS (physiological menstrual stress/symptoms)
• anxiety
• irritability
That's quite the list. It woke me up a bit, metaphorically, though perhaps actually, too :-)
It remains notable to me that depression and self-loathing, which dominated my lows (when I had them) during my 20s and 30s, are gone in my 40s. (I do feel occasionally blue, don't get me wrong, but nothing like I used to.) My work with Vinny has a lot to do with that.
I didn't walk yesterday morning, but I did practice Qigong for 20 minutes. I could feel benefits from that for the rest of the day. Powerful stuff.
Turning my mind's eye again to going a bit deeper into my personal study of ADD and getting off gluten (thanks, Tamar)...while continuing to practice Qigong.
4 comments:
I have many of those same symptoms and I've been told it's likely perimenopause. Anxiety being the worst of them.
I hope Vinny can help you with this stuff.
Vinny is a huge help, but I could sense that I stopped bringing myself completely to the table, so to speak, a couple of months ago. He can only do so much, I have to do my part, too. And I wasn't. Beginning to practice again is a good, firm step in the right direction. I won't see him again for awhile bc of my schedule, but when I do, I am hoping for a resurgence of progress in my work with him.
Perimenopause, a change of life, this certainly feels seismic enough to fit the bill :-) I do think, in both our cases, that there are lifelong personality traits at play, too...
Sending you peaceful and healing thoughts. xo
Shirl, you might want to check out the Women to Women website for perimenopause: http://bit.ly/r7XHLg.
xo Anna
I'll put it on the list, thanks Anna :-)
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