Purge

Wow #1

Someone visited the blog from New Zealand since I last posted.

Wow #2

After I posted last night, I went to bed.  And began to feel really crappy.  I felt vulnerable purging onto the virtual page and leaving it out there, I filled up with doubt.  I thought "everyone" was going to think I was a bad a mom.  Anxiety was thrumming through my body, my fingers were nearly twitching as the darkness sought an exit at my ends.

I remembered to breathe.  While reminding myself I normally don't care what other people think.  Because normally I trust myself implicitly.  I held the Dragon Stands Between Heaven and Earth pose while lying in bed.  And after a few minutes I began to feel calmer.  Qi to the resuce once again.

I realized that I was the one judging myself.  Overly harshly at that.

I got out of bed and talked to Cap.  Purging to a person, especially the one who loves you most, the one who was in triad with me and the precious soul in question...there aren't many magic bullets in life, but this was one.

As the tears hiccuped out, the bile drained...the stagnation was busted open and bright energy moved through.