Showing posts with label olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label olympics. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Overload

I've been eating very small amounts of gluten here and there since coming off of Whole30 (which a slew of folks started today, including Shannon!) 

After my session with Vinny this afternoon (neck and shoulders very tight again, but he was excited about my sleep change and upbeat mood), I took the kids to the comic book store since Cap is pulling a late-nighter getting the editing done for camp.  This is exactly the kind of thing I haven't had the energy for this summer.  But, today, I was completely up for it.

As we were driving home, I realized we'd be driving right by The Pie Store.  I had dinner set for the kids and Cap wasn't going to be home for dinner.  If I had given my brain a moment to breathe, I would have thought: I have leftover braised cabbage...liverwurst...eggs...a beautiful head of lettuce from the farm.  But, something in my mind started dancing.  I wanted a savory pasty.

I picked up two sweet potato and blue cheese and onion pasties.  One for my upstairs neighbor, who loves them, and one for me.  He was so pleased, his joy was totally worth it.

And for me?  Now I know.  A pasty is way too much of a gluten hit.  My mind feels woozy, my head heavy.  My stomach is so bloated.  Blech.

Now I know.

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Earlier today I thought: I could stop watching the Olympics and my world would not end.  The novelty has definitely lost some of its luster.  In no small part because of frakkin' NBC and their heavy-handed grubby coverage.  In this age of internet streaming, something has to shift.

I think the two events Sag is really looking forward to start soon: trampoline and rhythmic gymnastics.  I will check the listings for those and record...but otherwise, I have 3/4 of a mind to watch last week's Burn Notice or start my "new" and therefore non-renewable library book.

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Our new-to-us reconditioned Vitamix was either delivered to the wrong porch or lifted off of ours (within the short span of ten to fifteen minutes).  UPS said take it up with Vitamix, but it was too late to call them once I realized the package was AWOL.  I have no idea what will happen.  Will it show up tomorrow or in the next few days?  Will Vitamix send another one?  Will we simply be out a few hundred dollars?  (Yep, they are that expensive.)  Not the way I wanted my long and patient journey to a Vitamix to come to an end.  Fingers crossed.

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Peace and love.

O sleep

Each of the last few days has been revelatory in the new pockets of energy experienced.  With the energy has come more smiles, more laughter and more peace.

Last night, though...a sleep setback. 

The post-common meal hungries were particularly strong (the kids and Cap often need a second dinner because they didn't get too distracted playing and not liking the food).  I enjoyed a dinner plate of salad with roasted chicken and feta cheese and a piece of watermelon for dessert, but in this post-ovulation second half of my cycle...I was hungry again a few hours later.

10pm last night I was chatting in the kitchen with Cap while he made me a signature, masterful, grilled cheese sandwich (Udi's white sandwich bread buttered with Kerrygold sprinkled with garlic powder on one side...my cheese last night was smoked gouda).  And then I stayed up till midnight watching the Olympics.

I fell asleep pretty quickly and went into dream sleep again.  Can I digress?  I had noticed...for at least the past few years...that I was no longer remembering my dreams.  It never occurred to me, I don't know why, that I wasn't remembering because I wasn't having them.  Since the weekend, I have been waking up remembering my lengthy and cinematic dreams.  They've had lots of narrative and suspenseful tension.  It has been a homecoming of sorts and I've come to feel that I am sleeping not only longer, but more deeply for a longer stretch of the night, thanks to the herbs.

Sleep deprivation is an insidious and bad thing for well-being.  My eyes have been opened (no pun intended...but I like it) to how significant an obstacle it had become in my own path of healing.  I see Vinny again today.  I'm glad to have some observations to report and wonder what he'll say.

This morning, I was roused from dream-sleep by the clattering clamor of a powerful downpour on the metal box in the bedroom window that has kept me sane this persistently hot and/or humid summer.  A disharmonic convergence.  My eyes couldn't unsee the daylight, my stomach couldn't unfeel the late night sandwich deposit, my mind couldn't unwake the abrupt transition from my olympic dream.

Less than six hours of sleep.  And a rain system pressed down on us for the duration of the day.  I feel tired...but not as tired as I felt when I first got out of bed nearly two hours ago.  I feel happy...I feel the energy of possibility.  And that?  Pretty wonderful.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Jottings

• sleep is shifting thanks to the Chinese herbal sleep aid.  (not surprised) it hasn't slipped right into smooth sailing.  one night an epic cinematic suspenseful dream.  one night hot flash mid-sleep awakening followed by a too cold/have-to-pee mid-sleep awakening the next night.  (same climate control both nights.)  Olympic fever has made it hard to go to bed earlier, but I am definitely sleeping later and getting closer to eight hours a night.  also falling asleep quicker with much less mental thought spiraling.  I can literally feel the sleep deprivation-crazy ebbing from my system.  (a crazy I tend not to feel until it's way too late, or, I am in recovery/repair mode.)

• eating some non-Paleo and/or junky food: brown rice wraps, cheese, potato chips, ice cream, dark chocolate, yogurt, corn tortillas, coconut cream pie, Thai iced coffee...  it has been mostly very enjoyable.  the potato chips went into minus balance zone almost right away (yet I went for a second go around a couple of days later...cycle related salt/fat craving, methinks).  noticed quite distinctly that last night's Rita's "twist" of vanilla and chocolate frozen custard did not fill me substantially in any way.  I needed to eat shortly afterward to get some protein.  meal planned yesterday to eat Paleo this week.  we have a weekend away coming up and next weekend we go on holiday for a week in VA.

• experienced a definite mood drop this morning (after days dotted with bright energy).  spurred me to fill in smiley-neutral-sad faces in my calendar.  (Donna's idea...thank you to all my friends and supporters who have tossed ideas my way in the wake of this "d-word" crisis.)  I think this is a post-ovulation drop.  it helped to do something concrete, outside of my head, to deal with feeling emotionally down.  it also occurred to me to call someone and make a date today.  it definitely helps to be in the company of friends when feeling this way.

• but first, because I had meal planned a light breakfast for myself (Dragon's Way style nuts and fruit), once I unloaded the dishwasher and washed up/loaded the stuff in the sink and made breakfast for the kids (and rejoiced that Cap had organized a messy corner of the kitchen and ignored the bordering-on-filthy kitchen floor), I grabbed my homemade iced coffee and bowl of cantaloupe and practiced Qigong in the front room.  the shifts in sleep, food and routine triangulated, finally, so I could practice in the morning as I am wont to do.  (eventually I am hoping to practice first thing in the morning, early enough so the kids are still asleep.)

• beginning to plan for MA and VA.  want to make more headway in figuring out the exercise thing before we go away.

• am loving the inspiration of watching the Olympics: archery, volleyball, dressage, weightlifting...so many sports I know little to nothing about that I want to try now!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Olympic fever

Sorry for the absence.  Things are bubbling and shifting.  Last week's unexpected crisis (the "depression" dx) has proven to be a positive opportunity for change.  It was a linchpin.

It opened me up in the way reckonings do.

So I have been talking and writing and thinking and doing...off blog.  Not on purpose, it's just how it has happened.  I am lucky, things have been good.

The weather's been getting me down energetically.  It's my alpha, I have no say.  Books have been picking up the slack and keeping in balance.  I finished Freedom which was devastatingly good and read Born Round in about 24 hours.  It was a stunning read.  Swaths of the memoir read as if Frank Bruni was actually me.  Not the exotic journalistic travels and being a NYT restaurant critic parts...but the whole internal workings of a being born with a powerful appetite for food thing?  Wow.  Very connective.

Now I am in the throes of Olympic fever.  It is so much fun for all of us, but especially me.  Already today we've watched cycling, swimming, archery, fencing, table tennis, soccer, tennis and basketball.  And it's barely noon!

Peace and love.