Feeling protective

Curling up into a small ball today.  Dropping the honey and maple syrup, going deeper into sugar-free is proving to have its ups and downs.

When I went off white sugar and grains in August, it felt like being hit with a ton of bricks.  I was nearly immobile with aches and dullness and irritability for four straight days.  And then I was fine.

This time, going deeper, I am generally fine, but experiencing pockets of things that make me go hmm, here and there.

• Yesterday afternoon, Vinny noted that my neck and upper back were super tight (I hadn't realized).  It also turns out that sugar acts in concert with the stomach system to promote healthy digestive flow.  Things have definitely shifted in the poop department since going sugar- and grain-free.  Cutting out the honey and maple syrup has led to a wobbly balance being tipped to the negative.

• Last night I slept like a log...I woke fine.  Not bad, but not good.

• This morning I headed out to run errands with a shopping list in my hand for my new recipes.  While I sat in the car warming it up, I realized I couldn't go food shopping...there simply wasn't enough funds in the account in case our landlord decided to cash our rent check today.  This wasn't a big deal and I was grateful for the clarity.  Cap gets paid tomorrow.

• But, something about it still made me sad.  I ended up going to Ikea with Danielle and Leo, happy for their company.  It was actually liberating being in a store like that (lots of visual candy) knowing I couldn't spend any money.  And I got a free coffee, which I truly appreciated.

I think I'm going to uncurl just enough to pull in a book read this afternoon.  I want to protect myself during this time of change.  I know this will pass.  I surrender.