Revving up

Woke up this morning in not such a good mood. As patient as I can be, I have my moments of expecting change to be quick. And when I drag during such times, physically or mentally, I get frustrated and question myself ("what is wrong with me?")

Luckily, Cap was home this morning so I took a walk. Getting outside always helps when I'm feeling this way. The kids never want to walk with me. Which is fine since it gives me some space to myself. Me and nature.

I came home and then was able to talk to a friend. This is always such a balm, as well. It's amazing how quickly a bad mood can snowball when you feel alone in your experience. And the aloneness has more to do with the circumstances of that physical moment more than anything else. But, the physical aloneness morphs rapidly into an existential aloneness...vulnerability breeds more vulnerability and soon I'm just a hot mess.

With my head and heart back in place, I played Chinese Checkers with Gem and then Sag, Gem and I played Yahtzee. It was a lot of fun. From there it was on to lunch and the arrival of Lukas and Anna for some play.

Once I was alone in the kitchen, I dug out the farm season's first spinach and sautéed it with garlic scape, sweet onion, sea salt and olive oil. Heaven. Serenity. Peace.

I've been listening to this Josh Ritter cd a lot lately and really like it.