Last night I found myself once again frustrated with one of my children because my tv time was being interrupted. I have long held this time after the kids have been tucked in and before I retire for the night, as sacrosanct.
But, lately, I have been feeling...embarrassed and ashamed for my feelings of resentment and anger which lurk right beneath the frustration. Not only did I sign up to be a parent, but it's something that I have looked forward to my whole life, and it is something for which I am so grateful. (It would not be overstating it to say I feel I was born to be a mother.)
I am not advocating for the sublimation of Self in order to be a Parent. This balance, the blurring of lines and boundaries is part and parcel of Life for me. I am, however, ready to reflect on my tv watching with "clear eyes, full heart" (haha, a tv reference y'all).
I was going to do it on a piece of paper, but thought, why not archive it here on the old blog?
These are the shows I am watching/dvr-ing/thinking about watching this Fall (that's "recording" in digital speak). And this is where the TMI comes into play...you may be surprised and dismayed by my list (which is in no particular order)...
• House
• Parenthood
• Breaking Bad
• Boardwalk Empire
• Hawaii Five-O
• Project Runway
• The Guild
• Community
• Parks and Recreation
• The Office
• Sons of Anarchy
• The Good Wife
• The Walking Dead
• The Amazing Race
• Homeland
• Dexter
• Enlightened
• Person of Interest
• A Gifted Man
I figured making a list would clearly show that there is too much. I want to be reading more and I want to start knitting again. I don't actually want to be spending as much time watching tv as I do...but it's easy and I get sucked in. (Why I value good tv...the medium brings together aspects of books/reading and film in a wonderful way.) So, looking at a list, facing the beast, will help me tame it.
I am now going to slash shows off the list to make more time in my head and life.
• House
•
• Breaking Bad
• Boardwalk Empire
•
• Project Runway
• The Guild
• Community
• Parks and Recreation
•
• Sons of Anarchy
•
• The Walking Dead
• The Amazing Race
•
•
•
•
•
My initial slashing cut out nine shows for a total of eight hours. Not bad though I am already thinking I really want to check out Enlightened.
That leaves seven shows that are one hour long and two shows that are half an hour each and The Guild which is about five minutes.
Reducing by 50% seems like a good start. The Walking Dead starts after Breaking Bad ends so they actually cancel each other out. So that leaves five one hour shows which will soon go down to four when Project Runway ends in a few weeks. And two half hour shows.
This is great! I can now plan on watching no more than an hour of tv a day (and I can check out Enlightened, after all :-) If I use this time frame as a guideline (making sure I take something off if I am going to add something) I can feel okay about making this time a no-interruption time and working with the kids on shifting their expectations of me when I am watching tv.
If I still find that I don't have enough time to read/knit, then I will reevaluate.
And, by the way, I have yet to watch the House premiere, but I am fully prepared to drop this show...I found last season to be quite wobbly.
My new list, for now...
• House
• Breaking Bad
• Boardwalk Empire
• Project Runway
• The Guild
• Community
• Parks and Recreation
• Sons of Anarchy
• The Walking Dead
• The Amazing Race
• Enlightened
5 comments:
Glad to see that Project Runway survived the cut!
Hahaha, I forget you and E are fans of the show, too :-)
I find it funny that you and I are so opposite. I watched a TON of tv as a kid. My parents were not very involved (coughcoughunderstatementcoughcough) so I spent a lot of time in front of the boob tube.
Now as an adult, I only make the time to regularly keep up with three shows - two of which are sitcoms I watch with the kids.
Now to be honest, I spend way too much time on the internet, but tv just isn't a big draw for me anymore. I enjoy it and will whole heartedly defend it against those who put it down, but even when I like a show, I tend to forget about it for weeks at a time (I only just realized that most shows started up a month ago, lol! I'm already behind ;-)
Though honestly, I don't count the Guild as a tv show. It's like 6 minutes long (usually) and only runs 12 weeks a year. I watch that and another web show I won't tell you about because you might get hooked ;-)
But no matter how you look at it, cool for you for taking the steps to fix something you don't like :-D
My feeling, for whatever it's worth, is that YOUR time is YOUR time however you want to define it. So, if it is encroached upon, you are going to resent the encroacher, no matter how much you are dedicated to him/her.
Elsa wanted to talk about her trepidations about attending the school dance last night, right when I had to return to working and when (past when) she needed to go to bed. Of course I shut the laptop and listened, but not before I was slightly resentful, though more in my head than toward her.
Thanks Shannon :-)
Anna, part of the problem for me was that I wasn't really defining it. Generally, the end of the day, which is really the end of the night, is a tough time for me energetically. I haven't really worked out a meaningful way to wind down...it's more like I collapse when I seize what appears to be an opportune moment.
What I have done by taking a critical look at my tv time is to better define my "me" time, at least in this context.
Thanks for chiming in and your support. And Oh my goodness...Elsa and school dances?!?
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