GFCF pizza

It's a quiet day here.  Gem seems to be moving away from the mystery virus as a more garden variety cold settles into his system.  Sag is reluctantly going about his homeschooling responsibilities as his brother continues to take it easy.

I slept (yay!) and also seem to have a slight cold.  Cap left early to pick his Japanese charges up and host them for the day.  We don't expect to see him for dinner (or much of him at all, really) till the weekend.

I did not make it to the Y or to practicing Qigong at home, but I did make the kids oatmeal for breakfast.

After breakfast, I did some online shopping.  Without realizing it, shopping for clothes and footwear for the kids and myself has become a Fall ritual.  It feels akin to collecting and burying acorns while it also seems, upon the slightest glance of thought, to be just the opposite.

(I measured the kids' feet and their growth never ceases to astound me...size 8, people, men's 8!)

Here's a preview of the insane robe I ordered for myself.  I have been looking for a robe for years...like, five, six, seven years.  Until I spotted this one, I never saw a robe that appealed to me, or, felt worth the money I was being asked to spend.  There were aspects of this robe that drew me immediately.  I liked the color (though I am not typically a blue girl).  It looked exceedingly comfy and warm.  It was undeniably unique/vintage.

But, it took me awhile to decide to click "purchase" because...well, see for yourself...

I am fully open to the possibility that, in person, this robe will be untenable.  But, also, it may be so much awesome.

On another shopping note, I have been both impressed and suspect of the great deals I've been snagging online.  Land's End strikes a balance between feeling economical and providing a product that looks good and holds up well enough not to be offensive.  I still think of them as L.L. Bean's lesser sibling, but my esteem of Bean keeps going down with their bait and switch moves.  And if you live near a Land's End store, the ease and convenience of returns increases to bonus levels.

I found a staggering deal on eBay that confounded me so much that I decided to shut my brain off completely and go for it.  A sweater that I could only find at the full retail price of $130 (at REI and the Smartwool websites) was selling for $54 including free shipping.  New with factory (but not retail) tags.  Whut?

This morning, with some googling, I was able to reduce the cost of my order at Sierra Trading Company and get free shipping.  Their prices are discounted already, so the additional $50 reduction was super sweet.

Alright, enough with all that.  Pics to follow as things arrive.  After shopping, I headed into the kitchen to make some pizza.  The kids did not need me much and I was feeling inspired.

I used M.A.G.'s recipe.  The first order of business was to put together a batch of her High Protein flour blend.

There was flour blend left over so I pulled out my beloved labeler and stored the good stuff in the fridge.

Handling this pizza dough was moving.  It was simultaneously damp and pillowy and felt so damn good.

While the crust pre-baked I fried up some on-the-edge pancetta, pulled out a jar of marinara and the opened bag of cheddar-style Daiya.  While the pizza baked with its toppings, I cut up some cuke and grabbed the leftover cooked carrots.

Voilà.  My first GFCF pizza.  (I probably made one years and years ago, maybe in Sacramento, but honestly don't remember.)  Making this was remarkably simple and straightforward.  Sag, the gluten-eating pizza-loving kid loved this pizza.  Gem was lukewarm on the cheese.  I promised to make it with mozzarella-style Daiya next time.  Also, he tends to like the Daiya cold, after it has been melted.  We'll see if he likes this better cold, as a snack.

I was very happy.  I found the crust pleasing...it hit the sweet spot between soft and substantive.  I have some pastured ricotta from the farmer's market and would love to make a white pizza for myself with garlic and roasted zucchini.  Mmmm...

Peace and love.

Playing with food

The recent down shift in cooking has meant:

• way too much eating out (SO rough on the wallet, not to mention the waistline)

• little to no meal planning or sticking to the meal plan

• deterioration in the no-bringing-gluten-into-the-house practice

• less general/overall rhythm to the day

• more stress/anxiety due to all the above

Yet, some clarity.  When I thought about meal planning for this week, I recognized that between Gem's mystery "not feeling well" which I will be hitting head on (done waiting it out) and Cap's hosting-in-every-way-except-they-won't-be-sleeping-here of two Japanese professors (they arrived today and leave next weekend), I needed to balance out nourishment with convenience.  I must assume limited time/energy/attention for cooking.

There will be hot dogs and Alphatots.  Trying my hand at making the meat sauce from Against All Grain (Nom Nom Paleo's photos of the sauce are divine...click the link!) will wait while I serve up good ol' Amy's Family Marinara mixed with ground meat, again.  One of my goals this Fall, to test cook and taste test some grain- and/or gluten-free kid classics like pizza, mac and cheese and pancakes will also wait.

Putting the groceries away today, I noticed the pantry and freezer were bursting at the seams.  Time to declutter/cook down.  I realized they contained some good and interesting stuff.  Inspired, I made a list.  By next week's food shopping, I will devise a meal plan that utilizes most, if not all of these ingredients:

rice vermicelli

dulse flakes

nutritional yeast

beef broth

jasmine rice

kelp noodles

green chiles

sardines

anchovies

ground Mangalitsa pork

pastured turkey sausage

pastured chicken livers

pastured ribeye steak

Peace and love.

Celebrating the beautiful now

I had an impromptu late lunch with Donna today and we got to talking.  I said something which surprised her: cooking is not in my nature.

Cooking is not in my nature.

Yup.

Cooking is something I do because I have to.  It is something I have had to do, having a child with multiple food allergies.  He was born allergic, thirteen years ago, so cooking for him/us is now old hat.  But, that has not changed the fact that my deepest desires do not ever involve cooking.

I don't begrudge it, despite having my moments of resenting the tedium of the toil.  (And it is something I have always enjoyed doing in celebratory spurts...Solstice parties, anyone?)  Luckily, what is in my nature, is having my breath taken away by the experience of beauty...something home cooking of whole foods is replete with.

I love food and find joy in celebrating even the smallest occasion for breaking bread.  The looks, the aromas, the textures, the flavors, the colors...the company, the communion, the connection...  I have learned some neat tricks, I have gained skills and my time in this earthly realm has most certainly been enriched in pleasurable ways because I have cooked and cooked and cooked.

But, it's true.  Cooking does not come naturally to me.  And times like now when life "stuff" converges and leaves me drained, it's good to acknowledge that home cooking takes time and energy for me, more than others.  I'm in a downshift right now and the imbalance is uncomfortable...but cooking will right itself again, soon, no doubt.

Peace.

Saturday snippets

A quickie as I am shifting and shifting and scattered and still a bit of a mess.

• yay for clarity and clear/ed channels through which understanding and communication can flow.  Cap asked me if I'd be interested in doing something next week which I knew would be helpful to him, but I really did not want to do.  I struggled with it for a bit, but then a light shone and the dam that burst turned out not to be holding the flood I feared.  and things sorted out fine.  I faced the internal thing I was resisting facing, which in turn was why I resisted agreeing to help him out.  and it's all good.

• a lovely and sad read.

• a funny and insightful read.

• I am determined to go here before this exhibit leaves.

• I deleted Candy Crush and Bubble Witch Saga from my phone.  that this is worth mentioning is...I don't know...what my life had become, I suppose.

Peace and love.

Stick a fork in me

...'cause I am done.

I am on the brink of overwhelmed.  It's all I can do to muster calm and breath...and see the joy that lies on the edges of where I am.

Sleep, stomach, hair plucking, weather...all rolled up in a big ball of UGH.

Thistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistooshallpassthistooshallpass.

Peace, peace and peace.

Here

I'm still here.

I apologize for the inadvertent absence from my blog space.  I had insomnia three times in the span of a week and have been recovering from that blow.  I am unable to fully accept/embrace sleep deprivation into my life as others have, with grace.

As a family, we are easing into the new home/school year.

Last night I made soft tacos for the first time and they were a smashing success.

More...soon.

Peace and love.

Baxter

Heartbroken.  Baxter, our nephew dog, died tonight.  He had undergone surgery to remove a tumor from his liver, earlier in the day.  The veterinary team believes he developed a blood clot which got into his lung and caused respiratory arrest.  They tried to save him, but death came quickly.

Rest in peace, sweet pup, I hope you weren't scared.  I will miss you so much and am so grateful to have known and loved you.

Peace and love.

Looking up, down and all around

Today's theme: things that caught my eye (and oftentimes my heart/soul).

The moon as we crossed the Bay Bridge from San Francisco to Oakland on our first night.

First morning.  Early morning jet lag did not persist.  The 3 o'clock dip did for awhile.

Gem and I took a neighborhood stroll our first morning.  He was antsy to get out of the house.  I took this shot because I loved the way the garbage cans dotted the street (garbage day).  But then Gem, who was walking uncharacteristically quite far ahead of me, crossed the street alone to get back to the house.  I hold him, his style, his pace, his path, fiercely close to my heart.

Seen on our walk.

A house near the Rose Garden.  For want of a better way to put it, they do a lot of cool stuff with rocks.

The rock people also like their newspapers.

Sag sat at this fountain in the Rose Garden for quite a bit.  He really wanted to go in it.  I think he was trying to figure out a way he could go in (without consequence) as much as he was enjoying the serenity of it all.

These numbers indicated years that donors made large contributions to the Rose Garden.  I liked the way they looked and the fabulous Bay Area light is always good for brilliant shadow-making.  Gem is an "aughts" baby.

Everyone loved this reclining chair.  I was a bit worried the kids were going to break it.  So inviting, though, could you blame them for enjoying it as kinesthetically as they could?

This was a sheer curtain in front of the stage curtain at Berkeley Rep, made for the play we saw.  It was hauntingly beautiful.

Leo in alert mode in the backyard.

Blue wagon in Mary and Nate's front yard in Berkeley.

Two pensive kids.

Three turquoise trucks seen from the walking path on the Oakland Estuary.

Three versions of Barbra.

Audrey and Leo starring in a post-apocalyptic universe.

Mystery (I take all blame, I did not note the artist or name of work) public art in Oakland.

Gem shooting footage for his vacation vlog.  Outside the Exploratorium in San Francisco.  The light, the light.  So fantastic and breathtaking.

This kid.  He spends so much of his time super comfortable...or super uncomfortable.  This is a good example of the former.  A sunny reverie by the bay while we waited for our friends.

Gem was reminded of reclining (ancient) Egyptian royalty when he spotted this chaise lounge outside the restrooms in the Exploratorium.  He lay right down for a reenactment.

Malachi may have been pondering fish here.  He loves them.

American River.

Dusk in Sacramento, evening breeze cooling the land down.

Night play.

A sweet little owl that reminded me of my grandmother who loved them.

Laundry day.  Sacramento has ideal line drying weather.  Jealous.

Reading the funnies.

This was a display at the train museum in Sacramento.  The telephone operator's lunch remains!  I adored the pewter salt shaker and eggshell pieces.

From an exhibit of produce crate labels at the train museum.

Stained glass train window at the train museum.

Light fixtures in the Tower movie theater, Sacramento.

Erika and Charlie.  A huge and palpable sigh of relief as Charlie turned a corner and started healing the day before we left.

My favorite of Malachi's displayed paintings.

Cap and Sag under the eucalyptus trees, Berkeley.

Leo snuggling.

Sag in contemplation.  The super comfy being in the super comfy chair.

Mary's birthday pot de crème with whole wheat hazelnut shortbread at Zut! in Berkeley.

This is a cool underpass mural in Oakland that says "eRACISM".

Noticed his body filling the space differently.  I may have a shot of him on their steps when he was wee.

Alameda view before stepping into the restaurant for dinner.

Peace and love.