It's all i can do

My happiness at getting into bed before midnight has faded because...

• I was sleepy enough to go to bed earlier but didn't...which nagged my mind

• I didn't have much space...and didn't have it in me to do a firm pushover to make room

• tossed and turned

• finger combed many hairs out

• general mugginess of still air

• tendrils of hot flashes (it's been awhile since I've had sleep woes, even longer since hot flashes)

• mind would not quiet

• realized my sleepiness was fading

• jumped in my skin when my mind yelled at me: you are living amongst garbage!*

• took that as a sign to get out of bed, if even for a bit

Peacelovepeacelovepeacelovepeacelove

* I was having semi-free floating thoughts about decluttering, clean lines in living space, moving into new space, dumping loads of stuff into wonderfully large disposal bins...when, bam, I yelled at myself.