Catching up

I was feeling emotionally down for a few days. That has abated, but I am tired! It has been hot and muggy-ish all week. I am grateful for my air conditioning...but long for fresh air.

Gem was under the weather last week, fine over the weekend, but back to under the weather this week. A friend described having a symptom-less virus at common meal last night (I went solo, I really needed to get out of the house for some company) and it struck me that this is what Gem seems to be dealing with.

Cap comes home tomorrow, storm gods willing. We are looking forward to his return. I actually like this annual threesome time...but we do miss our fourth.

We will finish off Gem's birthday celebrating with a family gathering on Sunday. Then we will go into something of a summer mode, I suppose.

Here are some pictures to tell the story of the past week...

Snapped at Kate's during a feed-the-cat pop-by.

Shot out on the sidewalk in front of the house with my Precious (iPhone). Super moon. I am sensitive to the moon and weather. My mood dip may have been related to the special lunar event.

I ran out of my new favorite coffee so picked up this local blend. It's flavorful and refreshing. (Cap will be bringing home some more Momoko coffee tomorrow, yay!)

Recalling something funny and then telling me the story...

...and then getting back to long division.

The iPad was propped up against that blue back pillow and they were homeschooling via Skype with Cap.

Mystery bag piper. S/he has been practicing/playing across the street this week. Our street is very wide and not conducive to impromptu chats so we don't know our neighbors well. I don't think s/he is one of the kids who lives there... Regardless, I adore hearing live music and have enjoyed their playing enormously.

The lately daily "I don't want to go to school..." ritual of re/iterating the day's work/tasks and bemoaning the lack of hours in a day and attempting to negotiate personal burdens down.

Sag and I have been enjoying cream cheese, something we don't often have in the house. I introduced him to a childhood favorite of mine, cream cheese and jam on toast. This, though, is avocado with cream cheese. I stopped buying avocado for awhile after having some less than satisfactory ones (one of the things I miss about living in California is the abundance of fresh avocado year-round). I picked up a bag of 'em this week and they have been yummy.

Speaking of abundance, the CSA is fast having a "win some" kind of season (as in you win some, you lose some). That is a frakking motherlode of green stuff! Two kinds of lettuce, napa cabbage, kale, escarole, arugula, two bunches of spinach...and that's just the leafy, greens.

Last week, despite cooking up the greens, I didn't eat them! I could not keep up. I was still eating veg from the week before. I have also strayed WAY off the Paleo reservation lately and have been filling myself with carby carbs and take-out...too much take-out.

What I have managed so far this week: the strawberries and cherries (fruit share commenced, yay!), the lettuce has been washed and prepped at-the-ready in the fridge, we shelled 2lbs of green peas and they are cooked...but they are old (I now know they need to be cooked/eaten within a few days of being picked), and I finally made some garlic scape pesto!

Scape pesto is one of my favorite things about summer. A sublime and snappy seasonal sensation. I had some with the last of the cream cheese yesterday and found it to taste like the best Boursin cheese, ever.

Donna has a beautiful garden. It is a lush and creative space...using design born out of inspiration and a keen eye and mind. I rarely go for white when it comes to flowers. But, these gorgeous beings caught my eye last night and had me swooning.

Peace and love.

Super seasonal shifts, Batman!

Between the Solstice and the Super Moon, I had a short and intense PMS "labor" and my body is squeezing out a period "on time".

I no longer expect anything and try to honor my body's need for gelato and rest.

I would like to be more consistently relaxed and pleasant to my children.

I would like to crack open my menopause books.

Good intentions, I am coming to feel more and more, really matter for not much. It's what you do, that does.

This was the hilarious tableau that befell my eyes when I stumbled to bed last night. It's good to laugh in this life. I rolled  200lbs of boy over and got in bed.

I will be doing much of this today. A little dizzy again, a lot wiped. Saw Vinny yesterday and gave him a workout. It was a chair massage day...my upper back was so tight I never made it to the table!

Peace and love.

Salad turnips tsukemono

Yum. A CSA favorite of mine: salad turnips. I make Japanese salt pickles with them. Trim, peel, slice, grab the tender little leaves nestled amongst the shoots...put them in a ziploc with some salt, knead them to distribute the salt...leave alone for 10 minutes, then knead them again, remove as much air as you can from the bag, seal it and let sit an hour...then stick 'em in the fridge and eat at will.

Gem is still under the weather. His body's m.o. tends towards feeling kind of crappy (and/or feverish) for four to five days and then bouncing back. He rarely gets intensely sick.

Sag snagged a play date with a friend who graduated from middle school yesterday so is now home for the summer.

I roasted some broccoli and summer squash from the farm and pickled the turnips. Enjoying an iced coffee...which should inject the gumption to wrassle up the carrot-tofu scramble I have been promising Gem for a week.

Loving this gentle breeze-y sunny dry day.

Peace and love.

Things that start with "s"

The prettiest spinach I ever did see.

A dear friend who is a veteran of menopause was stunned (and relieved because she had been feeling very wacky for a few days) when she got a period THREE years after the last one.

Yet another reminder to find a comfy perch for what is going to be a long ride.

I have been hit with a wall of spacey fatigue and a beastly craving for rich food and flavors. 

I have a friend who posts amazing food and dessert photos online which I normally admire from afar with serene appreciation. This afternoon her pics unleashed a banshee within.

I made a 911 call to yet another friend (and reader of the blog, thanks Kelly!) and she is picking up some ice cream for me. Because, another hormonal friend-of-PMS, dizziness, has decided to pay me a call, making driving dicey.

Anyhoo, a GF quesadilla loaded with cheese, truffle oil and sriracha later, I am taking deep breaths and aiming to keep this she-demon calm and happy.

Serenity now!

Quiet hump day

Older boy is under the weather. A quiet day today, methinks.

I am feeling a bit sensitive. Did manage to control myself with public enemy #1 to my sensory system this morning, but it has taken a toll.

Good thing I have a scrumptious (CSA) spinach and (Trader Joe's) sun-dried tomato and (Anthony's) pastured eggs frittata to fortify me. I think restaurant frittatas are forever ruined for me.

Off to the kitchen for some CSA therapy...but before I go, here is a shot of this morning's classroom. 

Peace, love and breath. Deep, deep breath.

Shift from soulful

Hahaha I'm a chump mama who saw, to a certain extent, what I wanted to see.

When Gem awoke this morning he noticed how I had arranged Fat/Skinny Elvis and made a correction.

I present to you: Fighting Fat/Skinny Elvis. Cerebral, philosophical, Three Stooges stuff. I love it.

Peace.

Kid art

I continue to sleep at night! It has been nice. Four nights (?) in a row, I think.

The weather has been of the muggy and heavy variety and I have been sweaty and under its thumb.

The kids' paper mâché projects came home today and I was struck, once again, by how differently their art is expressed. I'd say Sag's art is emotional...and Gem's is soulful.

And here, some local flora in wet and cloudy conditions.

Peace and love.

Seasonal food

The bursting forth of the local growing season has inspired a lot of activity in the kitchen.

I am pooped.

This morning I had the pleasure of farmer's market-ing and then Whole Foods-ing with Kelly.

The rest of the day:

I searched for a strawberry cake recipe. (We don't do any baking with gluten in our kitchen.) I don't know why I got it in my head that I wanted to make a strawberry cake, but I did.

I "processed" the still good amount of strawberries we had left. My cake, Gem's strawberry lemonade, Sag's "snack" stash...the rest were hulled and put in the freezer.

If the cake comes out well, I will post a pic and the recipe I used. The batter smelled amazing and, in a rare move, I licked some of it. 'Twas yummy.

The recipe calls for refrigerating the cake (apparently it is very moist...it was very soft when I transferred it, cooled, to a plate) and eating it the next day. The kids and I were invited to a cook out tomorrow evening so, fingers crossed, I'll bring the cake for dessert.

What am I worried about? The frosting. Making the frosting (a different recipe) was frustrating. I can't get the hang of arrowroot flour and so I rarely use it, so then when I do try using it again, I have forgotten that I don't get it...

The frosting is supposed to sit in the fridge for an hour or two to solidify. I have been afraid to peek...it's at the 90-minute mark as I type.

Making a commitment to use/eat all that the CSA has to offer takes some work. I would have been so happy to sit my sleep-deprived butt down and watch a movie or something, but every time I opened the fridge door for something, my eye kept being drawn to the glass container with what I thought was the spinach I cooked up earlier this week (which had remained untouched since bring placed in said container).

So once all the cake- and frosting-making accoutrement was washed and tidied...and Gem was fed (Sag is subsisting mostly on a diet of videos/video games today)...and I enjoyed toast with ricotta cheese (from Anthony's pastured cows) and homemade jam...

I pulled out the container and a carton of eggs and looked up frittatas in Nom Nom Paleo's iPad cooking app. The container contained, not spinach, but the mixed sautéed greens!

The frittata was beyond easy to make and quick because I was using an already cooked/prepped filling.

I was in an herby mood so I loaded the frittata with dried dill and thyme. Yum.

Off to sample the frittata and gaze at some frosting. If the frosting worked, I may frost the cake tonight...

Peace and love.

Bread and jam for manatee

Wanted to report that I did sleep about seven hours last night. It's hard to know how I sound since I sometimes put up a front without realizing. Being blessed with sensitive souls who care about me, I thought it best to assuage any concerns, today. Because it is possible I sounded down yesterday.

My left knee tightened up two nights ago, during the night, and my left elbow has followed suit. Age and inflammation. My body speaks.

Qigong, sleep, time outside, modifying my food. I know what will help. Stay tuned.

My breakfast this morning was quiet...approached sacred...certainly ritualistic. It harkened back to childhood...hot dang forty years ago now.

I really love this gluten-free bread. Whole Foods brand white sandwich bread. Gluten-free and dairy-free. I want to enjoy it just a little bit longer, with Kerrygold and homemade strawberry jam, before going grain-free again.

Peace and love.

A little ragged

An unfortunate second night in a row of not falling asleep till after 3 a.m.

At one point this morning, before any caffeine, my hands started shaking...which apart from being a little freaky, was a nuisance because I was in the midst of a kitchen-heavy day.

I dosed myself with a single cup of coffee...and have decided to heed the advice of three different friends and manage my caffeine consumption with intention the next few days.

I began tackling the motherlode of strawberries. Made jam and scones. Both with cane sugar, the scones gluten- free and vegan.

I had a magnificent brunch-for-one. Poached farm eggs, baby spinach with shallots/pine nuts/raisins (so delicious), and pickled radishes (very tart, great crunch).

I ran out to the supermarket early this morning for lemons (Gem wants to make strawberry lemonade) and baking provisions. I remembered Sag has been asking for Rogan Josh for weeks now (our meat guy has not had the cut of lamb though) and had the shop butcher make me up a package of stew meat.

It smells all sorts of amazing in here. I am looking forward to tucking into a bowl of Indian lamb stew for dinner.

Off to research freezing strawberries...and maybe gluten-free strawberry cake recipes.

Peace and love.

Thursday things

Woke up to news that a storm is bearing down on us. Despite the weather (we have already had some driving rain and the temperature has dropped a good ten degrees) and a sigh-inducing five hours of sleep which commenced sometime after 3 a.m., it has been a productive day. Trouble is, insomnia is an oomph stealer and I need to power through some more tasks.

Sag slept in...he has a sore neck and upper back...after watching him at gymnastics yesterday I can't say I am surprised. He needs more instruction than he is getting. I think he's much bigger and older than they are used to in a newbie and because of this, is and will be prone to injury without proper training.

Gem helped me with laundry and recycling going up and down stairs in and out of rain all morning. It feels good to have gotten that taken care of.

With laundry folded and hung, I made my way to the kitchen. Washed and spun the ginormous head of red leaf lettuce...and put it in the fridge ready for wraps and salads.

Regretted having bought the tub of baby spinach last week and then sautéed it with shallots, pine nuts and raisins.

Washed two bunches of spinach from the farm and then decided to sauté those with a small onion from Anthony's farm. This spinach is now ready to be combined with protein: tofu, ground meat, eggs, cheese.

Oh, the new kitchen trash can arrived! It has been a pleasure using it while cooking today. I almost want to name it Precious...but that would be asking for trouble. I am so pleased to have found a can that is not cookie cutter, red, and made in the USA (by Rubbermaid). I expect this red refuse receptacle to be with us for many years of culinary fun and  adventure to come.

I have been enjoying the coffee Momoko gave me as a good-bye present. I ground some beans this morning and made a small pot. I have been taking sips of iced coffee with cream...will time my last cup of the day to help with the oomph but not mess with my fragile sleep Eco-system.

Off to make some carrot tofu scramble. And hard boil some eggs. And choose a protein to defrost for tomorrow.

I do believe I have found some oomph.

Peace and love.

Veggie tales

It was not a deep, uninterrupted sleep, but I slept again. Yay.

Not everything is getting checked off the list today. But I did prepare half the CSA veggies, took Sag to gymnastics, and we head out to common meal soon.

Bok choy, tatsoi, kale, with non-CSA vidalia onion and garlic. Sautéed in Spanish olive oil with a splash of Japanese sake.

I also pickled some radishes of the red and long variety. I'll call them fingerling radishes since they resembled the shape of spuds of the same name.

I looked at a few recipes online and settled on David Leibowitz's version. (Don't know how to create links on the phone...Google it, please.) He has a way about him that I like. Clean, simple, kind of elegant.

These will be ready to eat by lunchtime tomorrow. Looking forward to it!

Peace and love.

On being a super smeller

Maybe "super smeller" is overstepping. I don't have anything official decreeing my smelling status. But, as an adult, I have become increasingly aware that I am sensitive to smells (pleasant and unpleasant) and I process/learn through them, as well.

A couple of nights ago I was struggling to fall asleep.  As I finally began to drift off around 2:30 a.m., I was enveloped by the aroma of freshly ground coffee. Heavenly, comforting and nourishing.

And curious. My mind was aroused enough to wonder: who nearby was quietly grinding coffee at this hour?

Suddenly, the smell morphed. Skunk. Wow. It was so strong that it smelled almost chemical/inorganic. Foreboding. I got out of bed to confirm there was nothing hot in the kitchen. It didn't smell like fire/smoke/burning...it did smell like synthetic heat.

I lay back down and could not get back to that drowsy place. My system was stressed. My receptors had taken in the chemical message loud and clear: fight or flight!

My heart and pulse alternated pounding, fluttering, racing. My eyes were wide open. I was so tired in body, though, so I stayed in bed. Eventually, past 4:30 a.m., sleep came.

Today has been humid. There have been plenty of wonderful breezes, cold and warm fronts competing in relative vicinity bringing dark clouds and scattered showers.

It has been the kind of day where suddenly, in a fit of stillness, sweat would begin to stream.

Since going soap- and shampoo-free a couple of years ago, I have virtually no body odor. I can't remember the last time I used deodorant. Being a super smeller, I have enjoyed noticing the way my body, specifically my arm pits, smell on a day like today.

I wonder what my body, my chemicals, are communicating. Hormones, pheromones, any-other-mones.

This evening my pits smell like semen. How interesting. They have smelled like this before, though not frequently. A bit salty, a bit musky, a scent that screams re/fresh birth/life.

I confess, I have been taking hits of my intoxicating pits.

It's no wonder, really, that, a) the scent of the so-called seeds of life would smell really good; and b) that if you dug a little deeper, semen would contain elements both male and female...so a woman could exude this particular scent.

The world just beyond

I spotted this little guy as I jogged out of the museum after dropping the kids off. For a moment, I was transported into the Miyazaki-esque world just beyond. The one on the other side of our fields of vision, across the edges of our imaginations, the fantastical one that flourishes just fine without us while quite possibly containing other versions of ourselves.

I burst with love and joy and wonder.

Then snapped the pic and meandered to the car. Moving slower, with more peace.

Laptop

Well.

First things first.  Gem's birthday was lovely.  We now have a teen amongst us.

We decided to give him a laptop.  The timing for Mac Book Pros is not good at present so we gave him the choice of waiting for a new one or taking over my year-plus old one.

He chose to take mine.

So, I am operating without a laptop. I will probably buy a new Mac Book Air next month.  In the meantime, it is time to adjust again.  Though I have been largely sharing my laptop with Gem for six months or so, this feels different.

I will get the hang of blogging via iPhone, I hope.

Here's a shot I took from the car early this morning on the way to the airport.  I think it's a fairly old section of wall from a former train station that is now a strip mall downtown.

Peace and love.