Kid art

I continue to sleep at night! It has been nice. Four nights (?) in a row, I think.

The weather has been of the muggy and heavy variety and I have been sweaty and under its thumb.

The kids' paper mâché projects came home today and I was struck, once again, by how differently their art is expressed. I'd say Sag's art is emotional...and Gem's is soulful.

And here, some local flora in wet and cloudy conditions.

Peace and love.

Seasonal food

The bursting forth of the local growing season has inspired a lot of activity in the kitchen.

I am pooped.

This morning I had the pleasure of farmer's market-ing and then Whole Foods-ing with Kelly.

The rest of the day:

I searched for a strawberry cake recipe. (We don't do any baking with gluten in our kitchen.) I don't know why I got it in my head that I wanted to make a strawberry cake, but I did.

I "processed" the still good amount of strawberries we had left. My cake, Gem's strawberry lemonade, Sag's "snack" stash...the rest were hulled and put in the freezer.

If the cake comes out well, I will post a pic and the recipe I used. The batter smelled amazing and, in a rare move, I licked some of it. 'Twas yummy.

The recipe calls for refrigerating the cake (apparently it is very moist...it was very soft when I transferred it, cooled, to a plate) and eating it the next day. The kids and I were invited to a cook out tomorrow evening so, fingers crossed, I'll bring the cake for dessert.

What am I worried about? The frosting. Making the frosting (a different recipe) was frustrating. I can't get the hang of arrowroot flour and so I rarely use it, so then when I do try using it again, I have forgotten that I don't get it...

The frosting is supposed to sit in the fridge for an hour or two to solidify. I have been afraid to peek...it's at the 90-minute mark as I type.

Making a commitment to use/eat all that the CSA has to offer takes some work. I would have been so happy to sit my sleep-deprived butt down and watch a movie or something, but every time I opened the fridge door for something, my eye kept being drawn to the glass container with what I thought was the spinach I cooked up earlier this week (which had remained untouched since bring placed in said container).

So once all the cake- and frosting-making accoutrement was washed and tidied...and Gem was fed (Sag is subsisting mostly on a diet of videos/video games today)...and I enjoyed toast with ricotta cheese (from Anthony's pastured cows) and homemade jam...

I pulled out the container and a carton of eggs and looked up frittatas in Nom Nom Paleo's iPad cooking app. The container contained, not spinach, but the mixed sautéed greens!

The frittata was beyond easy to make and quick because I was using an already cooked/prepped filling.

I was in an herby mood so I loaded the frittata with dried dill and thyme. Yum.

Off to sample the frittata and gaze at some frosting. If the frosting worked, I may frost the cake tonight...

Peace and love.

Bread and jam for manatee

Wanted to report that I did sleep about seven hours last night. It's hard to know how I sound since I sometimes put up a front without realizing. Being blessed with sensitive souls who care about me, I thought it best to assuage any concerns, today. Because it is possible I sounded down yesterday.

My left knee tightened up two nights ago, during the night, and my left elbow has followed suit. Age and inflammation. My body speaks.

Qigong, sleep, time outside, modifying my food. I know what will help. Stay tuned.

My breakfast this morning was quiet...approached sacred...certainly ritualistic. It harkened back to childhood...hot dang forty years ago now.

I really love this gluten-free bread. Whole Foods brand white sandwich bread. Gluten-free and dairy-free. I want to enjoy it just a little bit longer, with Kerrygold and homemade strawberry jam, before going grain-free again.

Peace and love.

A little ragged

An unfortunate second night in a row of not falling asleep till after 3 a.m.

At one point this morning, before any caffeine, my hands started shaking...which apart from being a little freaky, was a nuisance because I was in the midst of a kitchen-heavy day.

I dosed myself with a single cup of coffee...and have decided to heed the advice of three different friends and manage my caffeine consumption with intention the next few days.

I began tackling the motherlode of strawberries. Made jam and scones. Both with cane sugar, the scones gluten- free and vegan.

I had a magnificent brunch-for-one. Poached farm eggs, baby spinach with shallots/pine nuts/raisins (so delicious), and pickled radishes (very tart, great crunch).

I ran out to the supermarket early this morning for lemons (Gem wants to make strawberry lemonade) and baking provisions. I remembered Sag has been asking for Rogan Josh for weeks now (our meat guy has not had the cut of lamb though) and had the shop butcher make me up a package of stew meat.

It smells all sorts of amazing in here. I am looking forward to tucking into a bowl of Indian lamb stew for dinner.

Off to research freezing strawberries...and maybe gluten-free strawberry cake recipes.

Peace and love.

Thursday things

Woke up to news that a storm is bearing down on us. Despite the weather (we have already had some driving rain and the temperature has dropped a good ten degrees) and a sigh-inducing five hours of sleep which commenced sometime after 3 a.m., it has been a productive day. Trouble is, insomnia is an oomph stealer and I need to power through some more tasks.

Sag slept in...he has a sore neck and upper back...after watching him at gymnastics yesterday I can't say I am surprised. He needs more instruction than he is getting. I think he's much bigger and older than they are used to in a newbie and because of this, is and will be prone to injury without proper training.

Gem helped me with laundry and recycling going up and down stairs in and out of rain all morning. It feels good to have gotten that taken care of.

With laundry folded and hung, I made my way to the kitchen. Washed and spun the ginormous head of red leaf lettuce...and put it in the fridge ready for wraps and salads.

Regretted having bought the tub of baby spinach last week and then sautéed it with shallots, pine nuts and raisins.

Washed two bunches of spinach from the farm and then decided to sauté those with a small onion from Anthony's farm. This spinach is now ready to be combined with protein: tofu, ground meat, eggs, cheese.

Oh, the new kitchen trash can arrived! It has been a pleasure using it while cooking today. I almost want to name it Precious...but that would be asking for trouble. I am so pleased to have found a can that is not cookie cutter, red, and made in the USA (by Rubbermaid). I expect this red refuse receptacle to be with us for many years of culinary fun and  adventure to come.

I have been enjoying the coffee Momoko gave me as a good-bye present. I ground some beans this morning and made a small pot. I have been taking sips of iced coffee with cream...will time my last cup of the day to help with the oomph but not mess with my fragile sleep Eco-system.

Off to make some carrot tofu scramble. And hard boil some eggs. And choose a protein to defrost for tomorrow.

I do believe I have found some oomph.

Peace and love.

Veggie tales

It was not a deep, uninterrupted sleep, but I slept again. Yay.

Not everything is getting checked off the list today. But I did prepare half the CSA veggies, took Sag to gymnastics, and we head out to common meal soon.

Bok choy, tatsoi, kale, with non-CSA vidalia onion and garlic. Sautéed in Spanish olive oil with a splash of Japanese sake.

I also pickled some radishes of the red and long variety. I'll call them fingerling radishes since they resembled the shape of spuds of the same name.

I looked at a few recipes online and settled on David Leibowitz's version. (Don't know how to create links on the phone...Google it, please.) He has a way about him that I like. Clean, simple, kind of elegant.

These will be ready to eat by lunchtime tomorrow. Looking forward to it!

Peace and love.

On being a super smeller

Maybe "super smeller" is overstepping. I don't have anything official decreeing my smelling status. But, as an adult, I have become increasingly aware that I am sensitive to smells (pleasant and unpleasant) and I process/learn through them, as well.

A couple of nights ago I was struggling to fall asleep.  As I finally began to drift off around 2:30 a.m., I was enveloped by the aroma of freshly ground coffee. Heavenly, comforting and nourishing.

And curious. My mind was aroused enough to wonder: who nearby was quietly grinding coffee at this hour?

Suddenly, the smell morphed. Skunk. Wow. It was so strong that it smelled almost chemical/inorganic. Foreboding. I got out of bed to confirm there was nothing hot in the kitchen. It didn't smell like fire/smoke/burning...it did smell like synthetic heat.

I lay back down and could not get back to that drowsy place. My system was stressed. My receptors had taken in the chemical message loud and clear: fight or flight!

My heart and pulse alternated pounding, fluttering, racing. My eyes were wide open. I was so tired in body, though, so I stayed in bed. Eventually, past 4:30 a.m., sleep came.

Today has been humid. There have been plenty of wonderful breezes, cold and warm fronts competing in relative vicinity bringing dark clouds and scattered showers.

It has been the kind of day where suddenly, in a fit of stillness, sweat would begin to stream.

Since going soap- and shampoo-free a couple of years ago, I have virtually no body odor. I can't remember the last time I used deodorant. Being a super smeller, I have enjoyed noticing the way my body, specifically my arm pits, smell on a day like today.

I wonder what my body, my chemicals, are communicating. Hormones, pheromones, any-other-mones.

This evening my pits smell like semen. How interesting. They have smelled like this before, though not frequently. A bit salty, a bit musky, a scent that screams re/fresh birth/life.

I confess, I have been taking hits of my intoxicating pits.

It's no wonder, really, that, a) the scent of the so-called seeds of life would smell really good; and b) that if you dug a little deeper, semen would contain elements both male and female...so a woman could exude this particular scent.

The world just beyond

I spotted this little guy as I jogged out of the museum after dropping the kids off. For a moment, I was transported into the Miyazaki-esque world just beyond. The one on the other side of our fields of vision, across the edges of our imaginations, the fantastical one that flourishes just fine without us while quite possibly containing other versions of ourselves.

I burst with love and joy and wonder.

Then snapped the pic and meandered to the car. Moving slower, with more peace.

Laptop

Well.

First things first.  Gem's birthday was lovely.  We now have a teen amongst us.

We decided to give him a laptop.  The timing for Mac Book Pros is not good at present so we gave him the choice of waiting for a new one or taking over my year-plus old one.

He chose to take mine.

So, I am operating without a laptop. I will probably buy a new Mac Book Air next month.  In the meantime, it is time to adjust again.  Though I have been largely sharing my laptop with Gem for six months or so, this feels different.

I will get the hang of blogging via iPhone, I hope.

Here's a shot I took from the car early this morning on the way to the airport.  I think it's a fairly old section of wall from a former train station that is now a strip mall downtown.

Peace and love.

Stuff

I have slept better for three nights in a row (between 5-8 hours/night).  My body is more leaden today than yesterday and the day before.  My head feels like it's made of papier-mâché.  Not even going to try to understand it.

When in doubt, pretty pictures:

I love our Hario coffee grinder.  It's a perfect little gadget.  The confluence of sensory experience it invites is heavenly: a little muscle, the scent released by fresh ground beans, the shiny dark orbs disappearing out of sight...
 

The Wii U has been very entertaining.  Cool technology.

An example of what happens when the kids and I sleep together.  Three bodies squished together at one end of a vast king-size bed.  That cream colored pillow is mine.  I took this shot after getting out of bed unable to fall asleep one night...from under Sag's leg.

Sis and bro-in-law came over for the start of Gem's birthday season.  I love a special occasion which calls for the making of homemade ranch dip.

Nephew dog Finn is gorgeous inside and out.

Kousa Dogwood.

Late spring canopy.  So grateful the heat wave has been followed by sunny and dry and wonderfully seasonal temps.

Pippa's ruby slippers.

Handmade pappardelle pasta with an organic mushroom medley, micro greens, caramelized onion, black Hawaiian sea salt and quail egg.  At Le Salbuen Cafe.  Yum.

Brioche bread pudding which instantly became my favorite local bite.  Inspired by my Vinny session, I followed my desire to grab some time with my honey and invited him out to a rare weeknight dinner out.  Our intention was to go to the Red Eye (easier on the wallet) but they were closed due to an electrical issue so we wandered across the street to Le Salbuen Cafe.  Yum, yum, yum.

Local architecture.

Evening swinging.

Play ball.

A morning after a night we slept apart.

Gem's breakfast yesterday.  A duo of potatoes.

My loot from Cap's trip to Chicago.  He went to Quimby's and loved it.  In another life we likely could have been very happy living in Chicago.

I baked another pound cake.  Gluten-free and butter-ific.  The littlest common meal-er remarked upon tucking into it: "no, it's not good...it's excellent!"

Our driveway has been ripped up, old pipe being replaced after sewage backed up into the basement one too many times (because ONCE WAS NOT ENOUGH).  Despite its issues, we remain fond of this apartment and are crossing our fingers that we will have another year here.

I love colored glass.  I love old glass.  Kelly was giving away a bunch of old Mason jars and I snagged this beauty.  (Thanks, friend!)

A Facebook friend from high school said these are anniversary jars and pricey.  They are beautiful, either way.

Peace and love.

What's going on

 shot at dawn sometime last week.

Mucho sleeplessness.  Way too mucho.  Going on ten days or so now, nearly half my nights have seen less than an hour of sleep.

This is not good.

Part hormonal insomnia, part getting out of bed multiple times a night to sit in the kids' room, part circadian rhythm shifting.

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A few days ago a local teenager climbed an embankment not far from our place and stood in front of an oncoming train and died.  I have been haunted by this...due in some part to my sleep deprived state.

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Sleep deprivation is not good for hair plucking.  My system is a bath of peri/menopausal hormones, my brain chemistry is far from shooting on all cylinders...I'm in a state of restless stasis.  Pluck, pluck, pluck.

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My corrected corrective lenses are perched on my nose.  Much better.  I am feeling inclined to read again.

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Eleven weeks since my last period, another one came.  It's been qualitatively different.  Not normal is the new normal.

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The kids are growing a ton.  Gem is changing inside and outside.  I swear he goes to bed and wakes up and is another inch taller.  He is morphing into a teen.  The countdown to his birthday has begun.

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We're in the midst of a heatwave, but I have been so out of it I've barely noticed.  Of course, I am using the air conditioners assiduously.  And drinking lots of iced coffee and tea.

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I have been enjoying the game Candy Crush Saga.  It's my first social media tie-in game.  I've been playing it a lot.  On a related gaming note, Gem bought a Wii U.  It all happened quickly and was quite shocking because he has historically been a non-saver/-big spender.  But, he had amassed quite the bundle of coin since his last birthday and so we chipped in just a little bit and the kids have been enjoying the new Wii system thoroughly.

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I am entering a non-productive cycle of the vicious kind.  The sleep deprivation is affecting my capacity for stress management.  I am starting to feel bad about things that I can't control...or can't control easily or readily.  I am getting the bare minimum done on any given day...some days with more impromptu and nice flourishes than others.  But there is no rhythm.  Things feel haphazard and chaotic.  I have been okay with that for months, but now, not so much.

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Cap decided he wanted to replace our long suffering kitchen trash can before his impending trip to Japan.  We did our due diligence and checked out the selection at Bed Bath and Beyond...but we were not impressed.  The cans that had the features we were looking for were crazy expensive.  I found a great seeming can online at a restaurant supply store made by Rubbermaid in the USA.  Not cheap, but not as costly as the highest end stuff in BB and B.  Waiting for its arrival.

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Yep.  Feeling unmoored.  And grumpy.  Called our first, brief, official family meeting a few days ago and proposed a month of seriously increased structure.  I have been feeling quite a bit of tension holding the various strands of "home" together.  Anything that can help increase harmony by paring away missed and/or mixed expectations sounds good to me right now.  The kids were wary of committing to a month so we decided to assess how things were going after two weeks.

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The sky is lightening.  It is 5:30.  I cannot believe I've had another night with not a wink of sleep.  I am going to play a round or two of Candy Crush and then head into the kitchen.  My sister and brother-in-law are coming over for dinner and I am braising short ribs.  Yum.

Peace and love.