Flowing

Friday

Holly and Lucia, Kelly, Lila and Pippa, Silke, Anna and Lukas, all came
over for lunch. It was phase one of welcoming Holly and Lucia back for
their brief trip stateside to deal with visa stuff (they are in the
midst of a six month stint in Paris). It was a warm, gentle and
wonderful time. The cold sesame noodles were yummy :-)



Kinder's drumming and movement class went smoothly. No issues, no tears, it was
as if last week had never happened. The second class is challenging for
him. He seemed to be off rhythmn for nearly 50% of the time. But, he
just kept sticking to it and sticking to it, his self-esteem untouched.

When Yayah, the teacher, asked if there were any questions about
halfway through class, taking care to check in with the new kids,
Kinder's hand went right up and he said it was really confusing to have
more than one rhythmn going at the same time. (They had been practicing
"Kuku" with three different interweaving rhythmns.) I learned something
about patience and perseverance watching him that day.

Saturday

We trekked into the city and met Lisa, Takai, Ellie, Akihiko and his
mom for lunch at my mom's place. My mom had to work, but had left us a
feast that I just had to warm up. Everyone had a nice time catching up.

I particularly enjoyed watching the kids. Ellie loves the boys and
can't get enough of them. Kinder played peek-a-boo with her for awhile
and First played with her for a long time in that silent, but loving
way he has with young ones. Watching him with babies reminds me of
something Erica told me, oh god, nearly 20 years ago, that for her it
was easier being with animals than it was with people a lot of the
time.



After lunch, the kids and Cap and I went to a puppet show of "Comet in
Moominland" which was fantastic. I was really impressed by the
staging/set. The kids liked it much more than they thought they would
and Kinder asked a lot of questions afterwards when the audience was
invited to check out the sets, each manned by a member of the
production crew available to answer questions.

We met Sandy back at my mom's and then hopped in the car to head home.
And we sat in fracking traffic for a looooong time. It took us two
hours, me on the hump in between the boys in back. (The video was shot by Kinder in the car.)



Once home, Cap fed the kids quickly (I was queasy from car sickness for awhile) and put them to bed. The grownups had take-out from our favorite bbq/southern food place and then Cap and I took off for Matt Pond PA.

Having lived and learned from the Gob Iron show (the one where we left
after Jay's solo set, me unable to bear another minute of standing), we
skipped the opening band, walked right up to the stage when we arrived
(second row of people, there was a guy who looked just like Ricky
Schroeder from his Silver Spoon days in front of me, yes, the place was
full of twenty year olds, some amusingly drunk), and the show started
about fifteen minutes later.

The band was great (Cap thought the bass was too pumped, I loved it),
the lead singer funny and good at bantering, there's nothing like a
fantastic song that you've only whirled around to in your living room
washing over you and vibrating in your cells, completely becoming one
with you as you are in touching distance to the very big amps and the
band jamming intensely, literally, right in front of your eyes.

Sunday

We all slept in (my kids seem to have graduated from waking with the
sun, which is what they have done their whole lives), I made
mini-pancakes (First's new favorite, he's asked for them every
morning for the last week-plus) and then Sandy and I rushed out to get
her to the train station a few towns over (our train line doesn't
operate on the weekends).

We were thwarted by a 5k road race shutting down some streets and ended
up back home. I walked her to the bus instead and we had a nice time
sitting on a bench for a half hour just chatting.

The kids and I went to Lucia's birthday party, phase two of spending
time with them. It was a wonderful gathering. Kids were having fun,
grown ups were having fun, it was a beautiful day, and Lucia's
grandparents hosted in a space perfect for the occasion.
Nick was giving kids ride on the pedicab, there were games where kids
were getting toys and prizes throughout the party keeping them very
happy, I had the chance to talk to friends and meet some new people, it
was really nice.

First had an accidental ingestion of dairy and it was an interesting
opportunity to see that the few hives he got around his mouth were
going down by the time I was giving him Benadryl (about 15 minutes
later). It looked like his body was able to absorb the reaction
smoothly and well. I gave him the Benadryl anyway, but it did make me
go "hmmm".

Saying good-bye was hard. I really like Lucia and Holly has a special
place in my heart as the first friend I made here. But, adventures will
continue to be had and they'll be back in the spring.

Monday

We went to Fiber Arts at Kate's and, drumroll please, the kids had a
good time! It took a year, but they finally feel comfortable with the
kids they've gotten to know and had a great time with a new friend,
Malik. I felt strangely (but in a pleasant way) unmoored as the kids
weren't clinging to me and asking me every ten minutes if it was time
to go. Holly and Mary are absent (Mary and her girls are due back from
Ireland in a couple of weeks), and Felicia and Shannon have joined in.
I actually think I'll be able to get some handwork time in!

Tidbits

Our new nephew was born Sunday night, no name yet. Everyone is doing
well and we're heading up to Beantown on Friday to go see the little
guy. Can't wait.

Kinder starts French class today. If he absolutely hates it, we won't
do it, but I'm hoping that it might help inspire me to do some Japanese at home with them.

I'll be cooking today for our common meals that start tomorrow. Silke
and Roger have started up a small co-op meal group. We'll meet for
dinner on Wednesdays rotating through each family's home. We're up
first. Unfortunately, the schedule didn't mesh with Cap's so he won't
be involved. I'm making Thai curry, rice, tzatziki and an apple cake.

The Red Sox are in the playoffs, they start against the Angels
tomorrow.

Going to Vinny today for a tune-up. My energy has been good, I just
keep corrupting my healing with crap food, though my portions are
getting better. The qigong exercises are pretty impressive in the
results they produce. Even if it's just five minutes that I do in the
morning, there's a difference to the quality of the day.

Seasonal table

Yesterday, at the playground, First picked up the season's first blood red leaf. It was smudged with yellow and green and was a beaut. It passed through many hands and in the end, he plucked it from Kelly's fingers, wanting definitive ownership.

This afternoon I remembered the leaf, and inspired, announced I'd be deconstructing the summer seasonal tableau. First, who was watching the Wonder Pets Save The Three Little Pigs (quite funny), bobbed up above the top of the couch to say he wanted to create the fall table. TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) rocks. I am so grateful and moved at how much more connected he's been.

He began by placing items at each corner. Then he constructed the middle. He had other ideas and was reassured that he/we would be able to add things as the days pass and we find treasures in nature. (He was thinking about resorting to use pencils to make something because he didn't have twigs.)

The leaf, incidentally, had dried up considerably during the night and First no longer desired it.

First's first seasonal table. Enjoy.

Harvest moon

I love hearing the train blowing its horn...especially early in the morning or late at night. The trains we see here aren't as majestic as the ones we'd see in Sac, but the sounds are just as good.

I got some bodywork done by Vinny on Tuesday which was wonderful. Afterwards I felt like my body had become a giant magnet, the pressure of my weight on the table felt incredible and grounding. I wish I had been able to sleep there for an hour.

I'm at that place where I know I have to "release" dairy from my diet again. A month of traditional Chinese medicine had healed my system to a point where I could digest dairy again, but it's been too much too soon. My emotional ties to pizza and chocolate are strong!

The start of the fall tv season, with dvr for the first time ever, has brought on a lot of tv watching once the kids are in bed. I watched America's Next Top Model, drawn by the contestant with Asperger's and had my heart broken a bit last night.

I finished the first season of Deadwood and am taking a break with some movies. I have Catch and Release in the tv basket, Year of the Dog is next on my queue.

Yesterday I opted not to go into Manhattan to see Akihiko and his mom and my family. The kids were both running low grade temps. I was able to reschedule with Akihiko for Saturday. It'll be good to see him, it's been a couple of years.

Serendipity stepped in and we ended up meeting Kelly and the girls at a great playground that was new for us. It was in nearly complete shade (crucial with a day that warmed up to 85+º) and the structure was wooden and had a lot of unusual and interesting components.

I wish I had brought my camera. Kinder and Lila are like two peas in a pod, very comfortable with each other whether walking, climbing, or building a fairy forest. First spent a lot of time with Pippa (who turned one in August). I don't think he said a word to her the whole time, but he was saying a lot with his eyes, body language and proximity. It was really cool watching them in their wordless, yet very connected play.

Later in the day we went over to Danielle's. Our four kids are just crazy about Ben 10 and whenever they get together, the first few minutes are a bedlam of excited talking updating each other on the new Ben 10 goings on in their lives (new drawings, comics, toys, etc.) Their friendship preceded the Ben 10 craze, but it seems so much a part of it now that I wonder what it will look and feel like for them when the inevitable (it is inevitable, right?) decline in interest in things Ben 10 begins.

My session with Vinny helped stopped the closing in on myself that I was feeling for about a week. Kelly and Vinny both spoke of the harvest moon, it was full last night or will be tonight. Apparently it's a tough one for many to get through.

It's going to be a busy few days:

Today - Silke and kids this afternoon

Friday - Holly and Lucia (who are back from Paris for a long weekend to deal with visa stuff) and Kelly, Lila and Pippa at lunch time, drum and movement in afternoon

Saturday - lunch in the city with Akihiko and his mom, puppet show of Comet in Moominland in the afternoon, Sandy and Mike come over to baby-sit and Cap and I go to see Matt Pond PA at night

Sunday - Lucia's birthday party, family swim at the Y

In between the social engagements and voracious tv watching I'll be planning some structure for our mornings next week (home learning time), cooking and cleaning, and eagerly awaiting news of the baby we're waiting for up in Boston :-)

Up at 4:16

Kinder needed some early morning care. Arnica for his aching foot, sting stop for his mosquito bites from yesterday's "unconventional baseball" game (the Pink Scarves won the game shortened by Kinder's being bit multiple times being the only one in shorts---the usual order of skeeter preference is me, then First, then Kinder...if I'm amply exposed, they don't get touched), and the last dregs of tylenol for his feeling crappy (my word, not his :-)

I actually went to bed at 10 last night and so could not fall back asleep. My body had six hours of sleep in it and would not settle down. So after snuggling with Kinder till he fell back asleep, I got out of bed.

I checked and read e-mail, checked the weather (highs in the mid-80s today and tomorrow---huh?!?), read the local newsy blog and though I thought about getting back into bed, realized I would not fall back asleep, or probably even relax much. With three other bodies in the bed, it just wasn't going to happen...

I saw that it was 5:50 and thought if I were to go to the Y class for "morning people", I'd be leaving my house NOW to walk down to the Y. And I thought, now that's crazy. I'm hoping to start going to the Y next week. This month my Tuesday and Thursday mornings (my child-free times) have been devoted to appointments ad errands.

October is the new September in our household. I guess that's what happens when you lose August.

Black and blue

I lay in bed last night, past 11:00 pm tossing and turning. I realized I was feeling black (dark, self-annoyed) and blue (depressed). Not horribly, but enough that in the past few days I've been more out of my body and in my head than is good for me.

This morning I did some stretches as I had decided I should do as I was finally falling asleep (nothing like Kinder coming into bed at midnight asking to be snuggled to get me back in my body :-) I was shocked at how tight some parts of me were because I don't feel it during the course of a day.

Kinder just handed me his sketch of the Upgrade costume he wants me to sew him for Halloween. Sweet. To see Upgrade, go to this link, click on the drop down menu for "characters" and click on Upgrade. Plus, you'll get to hear the catchy Ben 10 theme song :-)

http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/tv_shows/ben10/index.html

Today is Fiber Arts day. First is snuffling and a bit drippy. He may not be up for it, we'll see.

Ah, I watched Stranger Than Fiction Sat night and enjoyed it (watched The Forty Year Old Virgin for the second time Fri night and loved that). It was so good to see Emma Thompson again, I love her. Both these movies, in retrospect, helped soothe these feelings I have inside of me.

As did Ainori last night. It's been on and off a local channel that carries Japanese programming, and I found it relocated to a higher-than-100 cable channel for "Asian American" tv. My mom introduced it to us a few years ago and we love it. Now that we have higher-than-100 cable, we can watch it even if we're not at her house (where, incidentally, she no longer gets it because she has bare bones cable). This site describes it much better than I can:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ainori

Consignment shop

I finally made it over to our local children's consignment shop and struck gold. I so should have gone there before trekking out to the mall where I had been utterly (and unsurprisingly) let down.

Almost done with fall/winter kid clothing gathering. I'm checking out the local Marshalls for the first time today. The Target stuff I've bought and they've worn in the last year did not hold up well. The Land's End shoes haven't either. I miss the days of having so many hand-me-downs we didn't have to buy clothes for the kids.

It was with relief and a smile that I saw Cap's first paycheck of the fall had been direct deposited into the account yesterday. After months of waiting for our tax refunds, I recently discovered that I had had them direct deposited. $700 came and went without my comprehension (frack!)---no wonder I felt like I could spend some money on myself earlier this summer (a summer nightgown, a pink and red muumuu, deluxe slippers from the Vermont Country Store).

Yes, now I'm paying closer attention to lines other than the balance when I check on our funds online.

Most honorable son

I watched this doc about a Japanese-American fighter pilot the other night and learned some things.

http://www.pbs.org/mosthonorableson/

Growing up

Sometimes growing up is hard to do.

Kinder went back to drumming and movement class yesterday after a summer away. He was resistant, cried, said he didn't want to go, that he didn't want to do any "classes". He cried at home and he cried once we were there. Once he saw Donovan arrive, a boy who was in the class last year and who is a special connection because he was in Lukas' Kindergarten class last year, he calmed down. We chatted with him and Kinder settled right in.

A number of kids, including Kinder, were invited to join in the second class. They are "tweens" now and straddle level one and two. He resisted this, too, but hung in there with my firm encouragement and enjoyed class with Kevin (the first class is led by Maya) for about 45 minutes. We ducked out early, 90 minutes of class was long for him!

Change of season, change of routines, approaching his sixth birthday, it's a lot for my second born, the one who seemingly has no filters, who feels everything so intensely and becomes one with those feelings, whether it feels good or not.

Apple cookie jar

This is my apple cookie jar. It is part of a set of apple ceramicware that Mummu (before she was Mummu :-) and Auntie Carol made for me for Christmas one year. I love this set. This afternoon I finally baked the batch of cookies Cap was unable to because of the faulty old oven (we have a brand spanking new oven which I am thrilled about). As I transferred them into the cookie jar, I felt quite blessed.

Still feels like summer

Just came in from the third game of the season. The Aliens won again---14 to 8. Our legs are itchy from mosquito bites, the backyard was in humid shade.

Vinny's body work did wonders for First. He has a sparkle in his eye and a spring in his step. He has said, "I'm happy today" out loud. My heart was flipping over and over as he hung out with me as I made meatloaf and pesto. He asked questions, helped, and we played around after he noticed that I sounded as if I were on a cooking show with how I was talking about what I was doing. I can't remember the last time he relaxed with me in the kitchen.

Kinder is having bursts of intensity (ie. crying, hitting, screaming). I think he may be fighting a cold/virus. It may be hard to believe, but he pitched a pretty big fit about not wanting to go outside about 15 minutes before this picture was taken. It was so unfair that I was forcing him to go out....

I offered oatmeal or quinoa for breakfast. They chose oatmeal. First loved it, Kinder did not.

I'm doing some laundry. I'd taken a long hiatus due to my back/shoulder issues, but with Cap not feeling well and in the midst of his late nights at work (Wed and Thu), and, being on call to go up to Boston this weekend if the baby comes, I figured better to get it out of the way. The load felt pretty heavy going downstairs. I'm going to have to bring it up in waves.

Still haven't gotten to what I wanted to do today, go through the kids' clothes, change over summer to fall/winter, etc. Not stressed, just noticing.

A little pooped

We left Friday at 6:30 am for a long weekend in Massachusetts, returned at 10:30 pm Sunday night. It was a great few days full of time with family and, well, family, since that's what Karen, Brent and the kids are to us. I'm too pooped to blog about the details about the trip right now.

Yesterday I cleaned and did some pre-emptive cooking in the morning using the veggies from Evie and Jake's garden and then the kids and I spent the day with Anna and Lukas. Silke and Roger (their parents) joined us for dinner. It was a nice, long, full day.

I had a rare hour and a half alone this morning as I managed to slip out of bed without the kids waking. Got the dishes from the drying rack and dishwasher put away, sipped on my ginger-lemon-honey tonic tea, steamed/roasted some beets from Evie and Jake's garden with garlic, lemon and dill, and ate some oatmeal. (Brent cooked some Irish (therefore safely GF) quick oats for breakfast Sunday morning which reminded me I had bought some awhile back. They were fast and yummy, I'm looking forward to making some for the kids next time.)

I walked down to B. Avenue to get my haircut (not wild about it, an "in between" cut). On the walk home I stopped at the Y to get my pic taken and get an ID card, at the eye doc's to get my glasses adjusted, and at Danielle's, who wasn't home.

After lunch the kids and I drove Cap up to school and stopped at M. Park to play a game of wiffle ball (much more spacious than our yard). Yet another great gift from Mummu. There was someone playing their bagpipe the whole time we played, the sun was shining, the breeze alternated between balmy and cool, frolicking on a "Little House" type of hilly lawn, it was fantastic. (The Aliens, First and Kinder's team, won today's game 14-13. The Pink Scarves, my team, won yesterday's 1-0.)

Then we skedoodled over to the kids' first appointment with Dr.Vinny (Dr. Lu's assisting doc). Kinder turned into Massively Silly Boy and was relentless in his antics for the hour we were there. It was so unexpected, I was thrown for a loop. Vinny was unfazed, I kind of retreated in embarrassment and flummoxment. It didn't feel good since I couldn't really fully retreat being the only parent there.

First, after some initial trepidation, was practially drooling while getting his back massaged and worked on. Kinder could barely stay still during his treatment. He was much more into climbing on Vinny, spinning around in his chair, or, no joke, tipping the garbage can over spilling its contents onto the carpet.

When I asked him about it tonight as I lay down with him in the dark (my third attempt to talk to him about it), he said he was nervous and just couldn't stay still. But, he was not nervous about going back, which was good to hear.

After dinner, Kinder took a bath (I've begun having them alternate bath nights again so that they can stretch out in the tub and relax more) and First continued picking up (they are doing really well with this these days). They watched an episode of Blue's Room off a Netflix dvd (it still freaks me out to see Blue talk) and then we read "The Dancing Cow" chapter of Mary Poppins which was a lot of fun.

Cap's got a cold which is no fun, hopefully, his won't last as long as mine did. Hmmm...I look a bit pale in this pic. I think it may be due to the clots I dropped last night. I've been having a different (better in most ways) period this cycle with Dr. Lu's treatment. I was surprised to see the clots again, the likes of which I haven't seen since Sac.

Field trip

Ahhhh the weather has shifted and we're now in a trend of dry, sunny and a high of 70º.

The kids and I took the train into the city yesterday to spend the day with my parents. It almost didn't happen as First was reluctant to go. But, he changed his mind on his own (with some debate and conversation, but no coercion which felt really good).

I packed some lunch stuff, extra layers for all, grabbed my Metrocard and we were off. We walked up to the train station, it took 15 minutes, Kinder complaining semi-loudly for about the last 5.

Once we were on the train, the kids were delighted and commented on how they had forgotten how much fun it is to ride the train. They're still at an age where most conductors don't charge me for them and I scoot them under the turnstiles in the subway. So, the total cost for transportation yesterday was $13.75.

At one point we did a little lesson on directionality as First correctly figured out which way was west, north and south after discovering we were headed east. Kinder jumped in by working on left and right and I agreed with them that although left and right aren't included in the traditional foursome of north-south-east-west, that they do often denote directions.

Once at Baba and Jiji's, I made lunch for everyone. Chicken apple sausage, sautéed peppers, steamed carrots, and slices of heirloom tomato all from our farm, challah sandwich bread that Baba picked up at her farmer's market, grilled munster cheese sandwiches for Kinder, Baba and Jiji, rice with sesame seeds and Bragg's for First, and slices of Gala apples.

After lunch the kids, Jiji and I took off for Central Park. We carefully avoided a building facade that scares Kinder (the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant) and enjoyed a walk around a pond where we saw turtles sunbathing on a rock, ducks wading about, lots of interesting grasses including some that looked like giant chives, and the grand event, a beautiful and fierce hawk that swooped over our heads in pursuit of lunch (pigeon---yuck) and landed in a tree ten feet away from where we stood.

The kids had decided that they wanted to go to the zoo, something we hadn't done in over a year. It was cash only which astounded me, but luckily I was with someone with cash :-) We watched the sea lions for a long time. I got as much of a kick watching my dad with his new digital slr camera, as I did the kids following the graceful moves of the animals in the water and the rocks.

We saw the penguins being fed, the polar bear snoozing in a cool corner of his "habitat" and were treated to unusually active red pandas assiduously marking their territories by rubbing their bottoms on spots.

The kids had a snack of ices on a park bench right outside the zoo entrance and I noticed Gwyneth Paltrow strolling by with one of her kids.

Once we got back to my parents', they showed us some of their pics from their safari which were amazing. There was something incredibly majestic and powerful about how the animals looked in the wild...or their protected wild as the case may be.

Sandy came by after work and we were all treated to sushi and other yummy Japanese fare at a restaurant owned by the family of one of my mom's tea ceremony friends. Everything was delicious, but I nearly overdid it with my unassuming plate of toro, uni and ikura. So, so rich.

The kids were droopy on the ride home, but stayed awake and Cap met us at the station when we climbed off the train at 8:30. It was our second late night in a row, but felt utterly satisfying. We walked in the door and one of the kids said, "it feels so good to be home". You know that feeling that you get after a full and wonderful and not routine day? That was it.

Odds and ends

• Jamie told me her aunt (in MA) had a cold that ended with a 3 week long cough. This was my cold. The cough has been hanging around though at this point it only rears its ugly head at night and feebly at that. There's something impressive to me about stories like this...cold bugs are so cool. Another aspect of nature, really.

• Someone messed up and my parents' trip was cut short. When they arrived to Brazil from somewhere in Africa they were denied entry into the country because they did not have visas. I think their tour company assumed they were American citizens and hence the unfortunate event. So now they are back and we will see them today, all of us babysitting Ellie, and I'm going to take the kids in to the city tomorrow to see them again (before my dad leaves for Japan on Thursday).

• I switched our dishwasher soap from liquid to powder recently. An environmental move. Well, we're having problems with the powder caking up in its little receptacle before it gets released into the machine. I'm trying to dry out the soap space completely with a tissue before putting the soap in, but it doesn't always seem to help.

• I cannot wait for this wave of humidity to pass. It's been days and it really affects me by draining my energy. Today it is supposed to rain on and off throughout the day. It is somewhat cooler, around 70º, but I long for that autumn crispness that I know will be here soon.

• Having said that, I can feel that my system is tuning up thanks to Dr.Lu's work. I am stressing less about things, I am less bloated, I feel a current of energy going through me on better days, and I am able to digest dairy better (though the 2 slices of pizza with fresh garlic at 9 o'clock last night was probably not the best choice to make...but it was damn good at the time :-)

• The oven and stove are on the fritz. The landlord came by yesterday evening to check it out and I think we may be getting a new one.

• I defrosted one of our slabs of salmon that my brother brought back from Alaska to cook for dinner tonight (at his place). It looks SO good.

• I have started using a timer to help the kids and me with cleaning up. It takes my repeating myself to them out of the picture (and my frustration) and it seems to help them by making time, and the process, more concrete, less amorphous. The continuing decluttering is helping, too, I think. Also, that they are getting older.

• The fall schedule is slowly starting to come together.

Fiber Arts will be on Mondays. The kids are still very lukewarm on this...we'll see how it goes. We missed yesterday because First had a dentist appt and then we ran a bunch of errands.

We're going to try a French class for homeschoolers through a local language school on Tuesdays with Kinder.

It looks like we'll be able to have a regular time with Silke, Anna and Lukas on Wednesdays.

On Fridays, I'm going to try to make it to the homeschool park days, but also plan on doing field trip type outings. And, Kinder has drumming and movement.

Generally, we'll do our "school" like activity in the morning and go out in the afternoons.

I discovered a woodworking class at the Y that I thought First would like, but he is reluctant, wait, who am I kidding, adamant that he doesn't want to take a class. Even knowing that Owen might be interested in taking the same class, he doesn't want to do it. I've pulled off "Carpentry For Kids" from a shelf to see if he'll pick a project from it that we can do at home.

• First's appt at the dentist went very well yesterday. Dr. M talked him down like a pro (First was like a monkey hanging onto me when we got there) and smoothly walked and talked First through the procedure of getting a cavity drilled and filled getting all the tools of the trade into his little mouth along the way. We return in a couple of weeks for the real deal. He has a cavity in a baby tooth and cavities in two molars...

• Loved The Closer. Thanks to the dvr I was able to catch up on all the eps of this season when they had a marathon a couple of weeks ago.

matt pond PA

I just got us tix to go see them later on this month. When I learned we were moving back to the east coast, I was determined to see Girlyman, Matt Pond PA and Dar Williams live. One down, one soon-to-be down and that leaves Dar.

Through any window

Here's the video I was watching....

Mortal Kombat - Ben 10 Style

I was watching a video on Jenna Fischer's mySpace page (Pam form the American version of The Office) when Kinder asked if we could search "Ben 10" on YouTube.

This is one of the videos we found.

Relaxing

A quiet moment alone for First (while Professor Kinder was hard at work in his water lab).

Water, water, everywhere

Kinder loves water. This afternoon, during a bath, he filled and emptied containers, especially the big, plastic cranapple juice one, over and over again. I could see him watching, listening, feeling, as he worked a material while partially submerged in it, as intent, curious, and completely open as, I imagine, the most bright and creative scientists to be.

Earlier today, on our hike, it was throwing rocks of various sizes and weights into the deepest part of the stream. Yesterday, it was creating "tattoos" on his t-shirt as his and Lila's stop at the water fountain in the park became less about quenching thirst, and more about quenching endless hydro-possibility.

It's important to me that he, and all kids, have the chance to pursue their interests, whatever happens to be rocking their world at the moment, as much as possible. What they are learning in each moment cannot necessarily be quantified, categorized, assessed or labeled. But, the quality of this type of learning, unrushed, self-created and utterly meaningful, is something that, if you have the chance to see it, is unmistakable in its zen-ness and its profound potential for the future.

Tattoo

It seems like not so long ago when First and Kinder used to ask me to put their baby in a sling so they could carry it around while they played.

Second saturday hikes

We went on our first "second saturday hike" today. We went solo, none of the other invited families were able to join us. It was a great way for me to slow down and get back into my body. And a nice way for us to mark, as a family, our "back to school".

It was hot and sunny, but in the deeper part of the woods, the skeets were a bit of a terror. We were eventually able to find the trail that leads to the stream that Silke and Roger had told us about.

It was quiet. We saw one chipmunk and one frog. And a lot of broken glass and garbage...certain areas we came across were clearly fun hangout and cookout spots for the less ecologically conscious.

First was in his element. He loves to climb and is especially fond of clambering onto big, big rocks. He was impressed by the exposed roots of a large overturned tree and asked for this picture to be taken.


Kinder enjoyed holding Baxter's leash. He held up pretty well with the hiking (he still does not enjoy walking for any length of time) and had opportunities to stroll at his own pace, thinking his thoughts and taking in his impressions.

Week one

This week was supposed to our first week of "back to school". Despite my unschooling leanings, there is something about being "off" for the summer and re-entering the structure of a school year that appeals to me. In fact, having the summer off is what really freed me up to unschool this summer.

This is a synopsis of what happened this week:

Tuesday

• I decided not to give the kids their "back to school" presents because First decided he wanted to start school when Owen and Lukas did, on Thursday.

• Danielle and the kids were back from Maine and so I dropped them off to play while I ran some errands: picking up my glasses and touring and joining the Y.

• After lunch, the kids and I drove up to the park with Baxter and walked the paved loop.

• I made dinner from scratch for the first time in what felt like a long time. Between my shoulder strain and then my cold, I've been serving up a lot of hot dogs lately.

• I spent some time researching something for Cap (online and by phone).

Wednesday

• After breakfast, I cooked. Made one of First's faves, carrot tofu scramble for lunch and then made chicken and green beans from the farm for dinner. I also breaded and fried some eggplant from the farm.

• After lunch the kids and I walked to the park down the street with Baxter and played. We spent a lot of time watching the small school of fish in the stream.

• The kids drew a lot.

• I finally chose a read aloud book and we read the first chapter of Mary Poppins.

• I spent time online checking into the Christopherus forum (printed two articles on festivals which are being studied right now, amongst other things) and e-mailing (happy about the burst of e-mail with Wendy).

Thursday

• I went to the dentist to get two cavities filled, had a wonderfully kid-free time in the hardware store and then dropped in on Danielle to see how her kids going back to school was.

• Fed the kids lunch and baked some banana choco chip muffins to bring over to Kelly's.

• Dropped the kids off to Kelly's and Cap and I went to his and hers acupuncturist appts.

• A quick walk around the block with Bax followed by picking up sandwiches at a local Italian place and driving Cap up to work before dinner.

When I told First he was going to the dentist on Monday morning, he asked whether that would interfere with our first day of school. I told him I'd get back to him.

I'm feeling kind of vulnerable, a bit like my skin is jumpy...no, more like it's nervy. I think it's connected to seeing the acupuncturist. Despite the feeling that I'm off balance, or perhaps because of it, I am feeling some clarity.

I need to plant my feet and take a breath.

Mindreader

First and Kinder continue to make lots of books (chapter books and comic books). Often, they ask for help spelling words or writing sentences.

This morning, First asked me to write some words on a blank page. I wrote them and he launched into a 7 going on 14 admonition with plenty of righteous indignation that the letters were supposed to be much bigger.

When I tried to defend my actions and asserted that I wasn't a mind reader, he replied, "well, I'm pretty sure that you can (read my mind)"!

Baxter

This is Baxter. Normally, he lives with Takai, Lisa and Ellie, but we are dogsitting and so he's with us this week. He's been a great reason to get out of the house and spend time outdoors. Yesterday we drove up to the park and did a loop around the paved path. Today we walked to another park and watched a small school of fish darting around in the stream and hiding under the bridge.

He's also really cute and fun to have around.

Dr. Lu

I just found his organization's website. Interesting and insightful stuff. Now I know why he's so expensive.

http://www.tcmworld.org/about_us/

My new specs

Waldorf inspired

A local Waldorf homeschooler is selling her homeschooling resources to help fund school supplies for her first grader who will be starting school at a Waldorf school this week. We had met in cyberspace, but never in person. I bought her copy of Donna's Curriculum Overview for Waldorf Homeschoolers at a discount of 27% off the cover price. Plus, had it dropped off to my door which was nice because I got to meet her in person :-)

Well, I wish someone had told me long ago to get this book. I had resisted buying it because it costs $55 and I felt like it wasn't a match for me because I wasn't committing to the whole scope (through highschool) of the homeschool experience yet.

After skimming through most of the book, it seems to me that it is the logical next book to get after the Kindergarten with Your 3 to 6 Year Old book. I opted instead to get the First Grade book. It would have made more sense for me to get the Overview last fall when I felt like I wanted more than the Kindy book to mull over. The First Grade book would have been fine to get this summer, as prep for First Grade this fall.

But, who knows, stuff like this can't always be planned and follow a preordained sequence. It's possible that a year ago the Overview would not have resonated the same way...that my experiences and development in the last year have brought me to where I am and that the book is a nice bonus for the now.

So, what I like about this book:

• Donna talks about how she and her family integrated unschooling and Waldorf homeschooling in ways that make sense to me. This has been a struggle for me for the last year and for the first time, I feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel... Getting that "aha!" feeling reading parts of the book has renewed my energy.

• She presents the curriculum horizontally (by grade) and vertically (by subject). I like this method and feel like she gets to a lot of depth by talking about things in both contexts.

• She talks about penetrating the curriculum, to look deeper than the "what, when, where", to think on what it is at the core that the child should be getting from the material and then having the flexibility to individualize how your kid will meet that core lesson and truly create your own way to make that happen (the ultimate "way" may not end up being "purely" Waldorf---but the process of coming to that end being the "Waldorf" way.) This really made me think about"form", which is a critical element of Waldorf pedagogy, in a new and invigorating way.

• It has inspired me! Yesterday, sitting in the new blue chair, the sheepskin warming my back, the breeze wafting through the window onto my being, I thought a lot of thoughts (yes, I felt quite like Pooh). I copied down verses and songs for Morning, Mealtime and Closing.

I thought about what I'd like to do for foreign languages (First would like to do Japanese at home, Cap and I are pursuing putting Kinder into a French group that Holly started last year and Lila will be continuing to participate in, in addition to the Japanese---in Waldorf schools kids traditionally learn two foreign languages.)

And I thought about what I could plug into the recorder time of Donna's First Grade curriculum. I've decided to do recorder with both kids next fall when Kinder starts First Grade (delaying it for a year with First). I even posted to Donna's forum about this. I'd kept my membership up in this online forum, renewing every three months, despite remaining quite inactive in it.

So, now, after a summer of embracing unschooling, a twist of fate has brought Waldorf inspiration back into my lap. It feels good!

End of summer

It's Labor Day. Outside, there's a wind blowing through the oak and maple trees. Kinder's drawing papers were being blown about and we had to close the windows. I love this kind of cool and breezy morning.

I am being dogged by this cold/seasonal allergy. I've had an annoying cough for days (causing squirting...) and yesterday I was pooped again and spent most of the day reading Donna's Curriculum Overview or zoning out in front of the tv.

Sometime last night or this morning, in dreamtime, I remembered that I hadn't made any of the homemade tea remedy that Dr. Lu (the acupuncturist) had recommended I drink daily. I'm sipping it now. A few pieces of fresh ginger (peeled and sliced), a few squeezes of fresh lemon juice, a dollop of NJ honey, all steeped in some hot water.

I've been watching episodes of Dexter and Brotherhood on Showtime on Demand. I like both...they are like apples and oranges.

It was a relief to see that Michael C. Hall, who played David (the middle child) on Six Feet Under (a show I love), was able to pull off (in my eyes) the transition to another character, and pull together a nice ensemble cast as the lead (Dexter).

Brotherhood was mentioned in Dalton Ross' column in EW this week and so I checked it out. It takes place in Providence...it's kind of like The Wire, but in Providence, and on a much smaller scale, focusing on an Irish-American family/community.

Mmm. This tea feels very curative.

Baxter comes today for a week while Takai, Lisa and Ellie head down to Myrtle Beach for vacation.

GF breadcrumbs

Every couple of weeks I clean out the top shelf of the fridge which has somehow become the official way station of the "ears" of bread (as they are called in Japan). There are usually a dozen or so of the bags that the bread comes packaged in, with only the ends of the loaves left inside. I actually don't mind the ends of the loaves, but my boys don't like 'em.

I grab my Japanese plastic grater which comes with a fitted catching container and make breadcrumbs. (Since it's a Japanese grater, I guess technically, I am making panko :-) I just love these breadcrumbs. I feel like I am mining treasure as I whittle down the slices into crumbly bits.

I like to use them for turkey (dark meat) meatloaf and for breaded and fried yummies like chicken fingers, fish or veggies (Farmer John's summer squash from earleir this summer was heaven...)

What is that?

Kinder and I discovered the wonders of paper towel tube photography yesterday.

The toilet is dirty

...commented First last night as we were all piled into the bathroom for the nighttime routine of flossing, brushing, and peeing. Do you want to clean it? I asked. Sure, he answered. And so he did. He spent much longer brushing it than I ever do and when he was done, it looked all sparkly :-)

I love teachable moments. I think unschooling is all about living life with your kids and the teachable moments. For children truly are 'learning all the time'.

Uno!

I've been teaching the kids how to play Uno. We picked up a Magic Treehouse Uno deck at Barnes and Noble the other day. Perfect. Tonight, Kinder won the first hand, very exciting as any of you who are not first in birth order can attest to.

The picture is a bit dark because the flash kept causing a glare...

Heirloom tomatoes

I love 'em. In Sacramento, the food co-op would get lovely specimens from local farmers (all their produce was organic). I was partial to the red-orange ones with the yellow streaks. Yesterday we got some in our farm share and, mmmm, this morning I enjoyed some of this succulent green one. My thumb is touching it, to give you a point of reference.

Ikea

"It feels like we're in a whole new house." (First)

Yesterday afternoon the stars lined up and we dropped the kids off with Danielle and drove over to Ikea. Our fifteen year old pair of full-size futons and frames have been showing their age quite a lot lately (both frames are broken and one futon very shabby---the other futon is mysteriously like Dorian Gray) and it was time for a change.

We were both prepared to be conservative, not even planning to buy, only to test pieces out. But, Cap felt an urge to get things taken care of before the semester starts next week and Ikea literally had the goods.

We now have a new sofa bed with eggplant (or should I say "aubergine" :-) slipcover and a funky pair of Miro-y cushions.


And a great chair, the Poang chair. It's design is so simple, using a minimum amount of material, and it has this gentle bounce/rock. Sitting in it last night it was easy to imagine myself knitting away happily in it.


We actually got the chair for Cap so that he would have a comfortable chair to read in. I think we may have to go back and get another one for me. Think Papa and Mama bear.

Because the kids were not reluctantly shopping with us, I was able to do some perusing of the bottom floor, where all the fun stuff is for me---glassware, ceramicware, frames, textiles... I picked up another set of our "Poem" silverware, a fluffy sheepskin, an ergonomic pillow, a stepstool for the bathroom sink, a storage container for recyclables, wrapping paper, a shower curtain... I was quickly overwhelmed in the fabric area and decided I'd have to come back again when I had more time and a bit more knowledge about making curtains.

Cap tinkered away last night while we watched the Red Sox fall to the Yankees and this morning, as First said, our livingroom is feeling like a space with new possibilities and promise. (All for the price equivalent to my new pair of glasses---still waiting for their arrival.)

Silke just called, they are back and she and the kids will be over this afternoon to play!

Tidbits

• I drew up a list of things that both kids like to eat, with their input. Their tastes have been changing and diverging even more than before. Once we hit next week and our official start of our second year of homeschooling, I want to establish a weekly dinner plan of foods that they'll eat. Tired of the whines and barely nibbled food I am. Also, during the week, I want meal prep to be more efficient.

This is the plan:

Mon - bean burritos, brown rice, veggie

Tue - Cap's chicken (sautéed breast with balsamic vinegar), white rice, veggie

Wed - potato night (latkes, homemade fries or tortilla patata), veggie, apple sauce

Thu - spaghetti with meat sauce, breadsticks, veggie

Fri - sushi (First)/pizza (Kinder) night, veggie

• The Upside Down Show. It's on Noggin and it's great.

• Definitely enjoying Deadwood. I'm about five or six eps into the first season. A wonderful variety of characters, all interesting and well played.

• The sunflower buds have arrived!!! I've been neglecting the garden a bit. When I checked on it today, I found two flower buds. One is on a stalk that had bent...it may be lost, but I'm going to try to nurture it along. The tomatoes have really slowed down in their ripening/reddening. Not sure if it's due to weather conditions or mold (there is some kind of mold on some of the plants out there) or what...

• The kids back-to-school prezzies are tucked under my desk --- a Ben 10 backpack for Kinder and a Ben 10 shirt for First. They picked them out (my first choice fell through, a home business that makes t-shirts using batik and Celtic designs --- a dragon for First and snake for Kinder [their Asian astrology signs]), but they don't know that the gifts are in the house. A little surprise for next Tuesday.

• A couple of hours ago, Kinder punched First in the arm. In kind of classic punch throwing form. Reason? Frustration. First's response? Mildly indignant. I talked to them about it because it seemed to bother me much more than it bothered either of them. Turns out, First wasn't bothered because "it didn't really hurt". Kinder knows he shouldn't, after the fact, but the kid has very little impulse control when it comes to certain emotional situations. I decided to put aside my desire to knock some sense into Kinder with a big consequence.

• I bought a sewing machine, on sale at Target (thanks for the tip Julia :-) We'll be making a trip to Ikea soon for some curtain fabric and arm chair hunting. We're finally going to get rid of the broken futon frame and the hopelessly lumpy and schlumpy "blue" futon. We'll put the "red" futon on the rickety, but still standing, remaining futon frame and put a reading chair for Cap in the space that will open up from losing one of our couches. We've had both frames and futons for fifteen years!

• I'm bummed to hear the rumors of Owen Wilson's alleged suicide attempt.

• Eagerly awaiting my new glasses. Cap found some piece of paper in his office yesterday that has info on it about eligibility for a free pair of glasses once a year. A few days late and $500 short.

Overheard in bed

I opened an eye this morning and that was First's cue to report: "you can floss with hair!" And sure enough, there was my firstborn, flossing his teeth with a strand of hair...

Blah

I don't know if it's a side effect of this cold or of being very cooped up due to rain and the cold (now the kids have it, too), but I feel caught in my head.

Last night I walked into the kitchen after the kids were in bed and looked for something to eat. And nothing appealed. My tongue felt dulled and my neurons couldn't make any positive associations or connections. So, dinner waited till 9:30 when Cap came home, taking a break from his past due project. The chicken parm sub was okay (took a risk with the cheese but am feeling no ill effects this morning) and the caramel apple cake slice was disappointing.

One of the nights that Mary was here we got take-out from Smokey's and I finally got to have the crabcakes (they're usually out). Well, now I know why they're usually out. They were amazing. And the sweet potato pie was scrumptious (that's what got my caramel jones going there was a completely unexpected and incredible caramel undertone in that pie).

I watched Feasting on Asphalt last night (love the dvr!) Alton Brown is my new crush. They were in Memphis in last night's episode and the ribs looked so good. David gave me a rec for a place in Austin that has good ribs, that reminds me (thanks David!)

Okay, blah is moving on. Cap booked our Austin stuff. Hotel and flights. He has a conference and I'll be joining him for the weekend. Takai and Lisa will have the kids. I'll have two nights and a full day there, my first time in Texas. This will be the weekend after Thanksgiving. I'm psyched.

Recently we caught a Throwdown with Bobby Flay that took place at a crepe place in Austin. So, ribs and crepes will be had. I'm hoping to hear of other good eats and fun things to do, though of course, I'm looking forward to exploring and discovering, too.

We're not going to Massachusetts this weekend. The kids popping fevers yesterday did it. Mummu's health cannot be compromised as she is recovering from surgery. We'll go up in September...between Cap's schedule (no classes on Fridays) and homeschooling, we've got some nice flexibility this semester. Still a bummer though. I would have liked to participate in Amy's blessingway which will be on Saturday. If Boston was 2 hours away instead of 4 life would be so much better...

I joined a local unschooling Yahoo group and that's been fun. Kelly had said they are a bunch of very friendly and supportive women and that has been evident. There are some other Waldorf inspired folks there which is nice, too.

I finally talked to Erika which was...perfection.

So, we're looking at a weekend alone (no guests!) and without plans. Sounds foreign...but good.

Word books

For a year or so now Cap and I have talked about putting up a "word wall". Anyone that's been or worked in a lower elementary classroom has probably seen one. The words are organized by their first letters and are sight words (high frequency words that are not phonetically easy to read) which become easily accessible once they're on the wall to encourage standard spelling and more fluid and independent writing (less of "how do you spell ____?") One of the nifty general education tools of the trade I learned about when I worked with El. Cap is familiar with many of these tools through his graduate coursework from way back when.

Well, tonight, I improvised. I plucked two old notebooks out of a basket and made each of the kids their own "word books". They've been writing and drawing their own comic books like mad lately (which is what they are doing right now) and there's no time like the present.


(click on the pic for a closer look)

Mummu sent them a kids' thesaurus today, another perfect learning and writing tool!

I love homeschooling. I love simply working with the kids on what is rocking their world and embedding my teaching into these interests to develop their skills. After dinner, on a Tuesday night, in summer.

I'm looking forward to sparking their curiosity and making connections with them via some of my own interests in the coming months like nature appreciation and study (I'm attempting to round up some friends for a "Second Saturday" series of family hikes), fitness and exercise (joining the Y still on my "to do" list, handwork (sewing, knitting, embroidery, appliqué --- Target has the basic Singer sewing machine on sale right now for $75), and the performing arts (Chinese acrobats, a Moomintroll puppet show, Dan Zanes' Holiday Hootenany, the Symphony Orchestra family subscription series...)

Life is good :-)

Pause

Saturday evening my body hit the pause button. I have a cold for what feels like the first time in years. I've been sleeping when I can, trying not to feel the weight of Cap's having to pause on his work (deadline came and went today) in order to pick up the slack to keep the household humming.

In my dazed and aching waking hours I've been learning how to program our dvr system and have been taping documentaries, movies and tv shows galore. Also guzzling cold prevention tea (it would seem too late, but maybe it's helping it from getting worse) and thinking about fabrics for curtains and embroidery. And hoping I'll make it to Massachusetts in a few days as planned.

Acupuncture it is

Dr. Lu pretty much kicked ass. He fixed my shoulder with some "torture" as he put it. I canceled the rest of my PT appointments from the car in the parking lot of Dr. Lu's office. He felt my pulse, looked at my tongue and concurred, "you really have no energy". So I'm taking some herbs and will probably go back in a few weeks.

When I showed the kids my range of motion was back while they ate dinner, that I was "fixed", First whispered in awe, "that's amazing" and Kinder asked me to pick him up (which I haven't been able to do for a few weeks).

Dental blues

Me

Good news: if I floss regularly (time to make another decision) my gums should be absolutely fine

Bad news: I have two cavities!

Cap

Good news: no need for a root canal

Bad news: he has one cavity and will need two crowns

First

Good news: ... (cue sound of crickets chirping)

Bad news: he has his daddy's teeth---he has two baby teeth cavities and needs two of his 6 year molars sealed up

Kinder

Good news: he has perfect teeth

Bad news: none

Thanks to Kelly for the rec, the dentist, his staff and office were great. Our playdate with Kelly and the girls continued at the dentist's office when Lila decided she wanted to watch First and Kinder get their teeth cleaned and checked out. Fun.

Also fun, watching Kinder bond with Lila (they both loved watching I Spy episodes today) and Kinder discover another warm lap and pair of encircling arms in Kelly

And Pippa? She is all that and a bag of chips. I felt a twinge of sadness thinking of Holly...I think she had a soft spot for Pippa.

Early morning air

Two wakings in a row now. The air is cool, the breeze rustles the leaves in the trees in a strong and restless way. A nip suggesting the new season galloping closer. I wish I could bottle this sensation. It washes up against my skin and then transforms my molecules layer by layer infusing me with refresh and awareness.

One more thing

I'm also in the market for a basic sewing machine. I talked to Julie about it when she visited (she is a crafting wiz) and she recommended going with a Singer which sounds good to me. I dream of making curtains and maybe some clothes.

I just popped some challah in my mouth. Mmmm.

Nudging the kids to bed and wondering if tonight's the night and Eleanor and I finally get to chat after over a week of fairly rigorous phone tag.

Anna called. She's in her new house. She can't find any of the small wooden pegs which hold up all of her Ikea shelving. Ah, moving.

Chocolate rugelah

The chocolate rugelah has jacked up my body to high buzz. The excellent massage Kelly gave me a few hours ago I'm sure has opened up my system to maximum buzz potential. I need to drink some water. Never underestimate the wonder of a good massage. Go get one. Soon as you can.

Quick random thoughts.

For once, I was patient and waited to find good shoes at a good price. I'm waiting for my "bright avocado" faux Dansko clogs to arrive from L.L. Bean any day now. They were reduced to $40. With a Bean card you get free shipping with every order.

I'm thinking about going to church! I may go Sunday depending on how things are here with Mare and Sask staying over. Next Sunday we'll be in Massachusetts. I'm going to try the local UU church. It's a step forward in terms of the self-care thing and the making decisions thing. I first started thinking about it when the kids were born. I am most interested in the social justice and service aspects of joining up.

Corn came in the veggie share today. As delighted as I was (First loves corn. He fingered the tassle at the end of an ear and said, "what beautiful silk".), it also signifies the beginning of the end of the summer for me and that's a little sad. Even though my favorite season is fall.

Kelly is one big present for me. Not only is she warm, cool, funny and interesting to talk/listen to, she's a gifted body worker! She joins Maria and Catalina in my pantheon of trusted masseuses.

My pms is different yet again. Very tender "itis" in the mammary region and big cravings for bread. We almost never bring gluten bread into the house, but I couldn't resist the squishy loaf of challah at Whole Foods this afternoon.

I miss Erika.

Y-M-C-A

I was all set to join when I hurt my shoulder. With physical therapy set to start tomorrow and my first appointment with my new acupuncturist scheduled for Thursday, I figure I'll have some good (ie. informed) feedback about what sort of exercise/ activity/ movement will best match my body's needs and abilities.

My non-starting relationship with regular exercise has been an albatross for years now. In trying to make this decision/commitment yet again, I took a harder look at some of the players in my personal drama.

Fear.

I have a resistance to being out alone outside which lies near healthy, but a little towards unhealthy.

When I was twelve, I began commuting to Manhattan to go to school (this continued until I was eighteen and graduated form high school). This involved walking about a dozen residential (read sleepy) blocks in my leafy Queens neighborhood to the subway station and then taking 2-3 subway lines to my school.

During this time period, enough men exposed themselves to me or molested me that I had to suck up a regular dose of dread and loathing just to get to school and back every day. (One guy targeted me for I don't know how long on the N train and would actually follow me when I tried to dart into another car to avoid him.)

I think I talked to my mom about it, but what could she do other than to be sympathetic and advise me to be alert and careful. It was "shouganai" (what can you do?) and I felt so lucky not to be my sister who was with a friend when she was mugged in a girls' bathroom at her high school during the first week of school a couple of years later.

Cost.

The Y is appealing because they are family friendly. But, it has been out of our price range the last few years because of the cost, and also, because we haven't been geographically stable enough to make the investment of joining a gym worthwhile. Now that we're here another four years at the very least, I'm feeling ready to take the plunge. Also, my last grad school student loan was paid off this summer. We're still carrying credit card debt, but the extra $200+/month will help to cover this new cost.

Climate.

I'm sensitive to heat and humidity. I'm back in the northeast where soon enough it'll be getting dark at 4:00 pm. And cold. And icy. Joining a gym cuts all this out of the equation. The Y is about a 10 minute walk from the apartment and once I'm there, the climate will be controlled.

Age.

At 41, I'm much more conscious of my mortality and really want to make the most of things and try to prolong my life in the ways that I can. Exercising will give me more energy and make me happier (hello endorphins). And, will give my organs and body systems a break. I'm pretty healthy overall, but incredibly sedentary. I could stand to lose 25 pounds or so and loosen things up.

Self-Care.

I'm trying to give myself more time and space. Our parenting style has been very hands on. The kids still come into bed with us (and given their druthers would always sleep in the big bed), Kinder nursed till he was 3, and they have never been cared for by a paid caregiver. Homeschooling is a natural progression of our parenting style. We've been very lucky and blessed.

Now that the kids are 5 3/4 and 7, I am parenting and homeschooling kids who are more independent in their skills and desires. I'm still with them nearly 24/7, but am no longer attached at the hip. I can do things like blog at the table while they draw (this morning, they started with their Ben 10 comic book creations and have moved onto their own versions of the Scrambled States of America).

Cap's academic job gives us more flexibility than his former 9 to 5 job (which so often means 8 to 6 unless you live 5 minutes from your work). We know his schedule for the fall now and are starting to construct a family schedule around it.

I'm blogging, I'm reading more (I cleaned up around my desk yesterday and collected all the books I'm in the middle of reading in a basket---surprising since I am usually a book-at-a-time kind of girl), and getting out of the house on my own to improve my health fits right in with my needs and desires.

It's really easy for me not go out every day. But then, I do go out, like this morning when I walked down the street to get my mammogram, and I loved the fresh morning air... Yesterday I checked the movie listing of our local art house theater. I can walk to this theater, I need to get out more!

Weekend

We had a great day Saturday with Sandy, Mike and Momoko. We had a simple yet sumptuous lunch which highlighted our farm veggies. We looked at Sandy and Mike's vacation pics and caught up with Momoko a bit about her two months in Paris.

Then we drove over to a nearby park and rode the paddle boats! It was hot, sunny, sweaty fun. After some iced goodies to cool down, we strolled around the lake and saw an egret of all things (this was a suburban park), a turtle, and took a break to clamber onto a wonderful, branchy tree.

I awoke the next morning to a wonderful aroma wafting through the bedroom. First and I wondered to each other what the source could be (he likes to wait for me to get out of bed to get out of bed himself and was mildly chagrined at my late awakening---Cap let me sleep in :-) Kinder, First and I wandered into the kitchen to this:


Cap invited Danielle and co. over for crepes and we ate alfresco on the patio. It's rare that all four of us adults get to relax together and it was very nice. Then they invited us to the lake. Kinder and Cap went and had a blast. First had a low grade fever and was forced to stay home. We had a quiet and productive afternoon. We spent abut two hours cleaning his and Kinder's room---one of those true cleanings.

And, I made a decision. I upgraded our cable tv service to include HBO and dvr (like Tivo but built into your digital cable system). Our promotional billling price for our bare bones service was about to come to an end and because of the company's smart/sneaky service structure, we could have paid $20 more a month for the same bare bones or upgrade for $29 more a month. HBO and BBC America, here I come!

The dvr is an experiment. My plan is not to watch more tv, per se, but to watch when it is convenient for me. So, with the dvr, instead of watching entertaining Food Network filler while I wait for Rescue Me to come on at 10:00, I can chill in some other way, go to bed at 10:00 and watch Rescue Me some other day at 8:00...

The kids are snuggling down for the night. Time for the night time blessing.

Kb toys

A shout out to them and a great local store manager. They accepted my return. So, two opened and used deluxe Omnitrixes went back to them a day after purchase for a full cash refund ($50).

The boys handled it well, took it in stride, really. I think First was not surprised because he has consciousness about my "no handheld video games" policy. I think they also realized that they have a pretty good life as we drove from the mall directly to our local comic book store where one of their comics was waiting for them in our "hold" bin. This followed by an errand to our doctor's office and dropping into our bookstore which is two doors down from the doc's.

Our new books:

Kinder • Night of the New Magicians (Magic Treehous #35)

First • Stage Fright on a Summer Night (Magic Treehouse #25)

Äiti • Stardust (Neil Gaiman)

Japanese eggplant

My heart did a little joy dance when I picked up our veggies this week. Japanese eggplant! I cooked some up this morning for breakfast, just like my obaachan used to do for me when I would summer with her in Yokohama (every five years during my childhood). I told First my story of Japanese eggplant as he perched on a stool eating some yogurt.

The eggplant was so tender, especially the beautiful purple-with-a-touch-of-magenta skin. As I thought about the difference that fresh, organic produce harvested in small batches, makes, I realized a there-all-along-but-new-to-my-consciousness element of my memories of Obaachan's cooking. What Farmer John does, is what Obaachan did, though on a much smaller scale.

Obaachan had a big vegetable garden and most of the veggies she used to prepare her meals came directly from the ground a stone's throw from her kitchen. I never appreciated her garden as a kid. I was impressed by its size and location more than anything. It was on a piece of land, an outcropping, that was below the sight line of the house or yard. We would have to pick our way down a path hugging the wall of dirt on one side lest you lose your balance and tumble down into garden plot.

Once in the garden, I was a kid whose eyes began darting about imagining all the worst creepy crawly, multi-legged, madly stinging bugs just hiding under the next leaf, perched on the tendril just over my head.... It became all about being ready to defend myself against these cursed beasts of nature.

I'm glad that something positive stayed with me, the image of my grandmother planting a seed in me completes the whole picture, doesn't it. I have been acting on my desire to bring our kitchen and nourishment closer to the garden. We've been enjoying our cherry tomatoes, green beans, chives, basil and mint. Our weekly CSA share has brought us a wonderful variety of veggies and herbs.

But, man, not having air conditioning in the kitchen and my recent shoulder injury have really put a dent in my kitchen productivity. (Productivity in the kitchen is key in order to keep up with the summer harvesting!) I miss the central AC we had in Sac. The shoulder pain is completely gone, thankfully, but I think my range of motion and arm strength are going to be problems till my physical therapy gets going next week.

So, there have been a lot of hotdogs, frozen potato products, pizza, sushi, and coldcuts being consumed as of late. Thank goodness for Whole Foods where you can buy processed and prepared food that isn't as bad for one's health as what's available in the mainstream (and is gluten and casein-free!)

But, this morning, the Japanese eggplant returned me to a better place. Simple and whole nourishment. Thanks, Obaachan.

Serenity personality quiz

Your results:
You are Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)

Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 90% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 80% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 80% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 70% Wash (Ship Pilot) 65% River (Stowaway) 50% Alliance 30% Inara Serra (Companion) 30% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 30% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 10% A Reaver (Cannibal) 0%

Medicine and physical healing are your game, but wooing women isn't a strong suit.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz

What were the chances, Chancer?

Chancer, a Clive Owen British tv series was next on my Netflix queue, but, how bizarre, a "short wait" for Chancer bumped Deadwood Season One Disc One ahead of it. Well, now I'll learn sooner than later what all the DW fuss is about.

And while I'm here, what are the chances that KB Toys will honor a toy return because the kids bought identical toys yesterday (the deluxe Omnitrix at $25 a pop using their own money) and I didn't realize until we were home and the kids were playing with them that they contain a tiny videogame and I have nixed the toys outright? Of course the toys are out of their packaging...

"Girl" talk

The orthopedist/sports medicine guy I saw yesterday? His last name is Filion. The physical therapy guy I'm going to see next week? His last name is Ruffalo. Too bad their first names aren't Nathan and Mark.

http://www.myspace.com/nathanfillion

http://markruffalo.net/

Oh, now I'm all hot and bothered. I had no idea Nathan Fillion had a mySpace page till I just googled him right now. Julie, are you reading this?

Record keeping/documentation/archiving

A focus for the first few months of the "school year" will be record keeping/documentation and archiving. As intuitive a person as I am, I want some sort of organized result of the kids' (and my) work. I trust myself (and Cap and the kids) completely in this endeavour of home learning, but I want to make sure that I have something to "show" for it on the other side. This will be useful for later schooling if the kids and/or we ever decide to go that route, as well as, for concerned family and friends. Most of us are primarily visual learners and having that visual can truly help to process and understand what it is we are being told/hearing.

I am thinking of large cardboard portfolios to collect the kids' 2D artwork for the year (browsing an art supply store...dangerous!) And some sort of binder system for various papers. Taking pictures and posting to the blog will also serve as documentation.

Since I am utilizing a bottom up approach, I'll be figuring out much as I go along. This is in line with my own learning style which is very kinesthetic. I learn by doing. It makes it harder to reign in the feelings of chaos that I sometimes feel. For, how can I bring about order when I don't yet know what I'm dealing with?

It is also the opposite of an institutional approach, which tends to be top down. Create goals and objectives (align them to state standards and standardized tests) and then disseminate the necessary information in the form of specific, structured, planned lessons. It is still sometimes hard for me to unharness my mind from this type of thinking having worked in schools as a teacher.

But, I don't have to answer to the state. And I don't have to "teach to the middle". The fact of the matter is, right now I have to go and get ready to drop the kids off at Danielle's and head out to my doctor's appt.

Telling time

Finally sat down with First for a few minutes to "work" on telling time. What this means is that instead of talking about how we can tell time on the fly, as the (plentiful) opportunities have arose over the past couple of months, I pulled out the Kumon book about telling time and we sat down at the table and flipped through it together.

I'm a sucker for these books. They're Japanese and appeal to a certain personal aesthetic. Something about the colors and quality of illustration. I usually pick them up at Barnes and Noble (they're more expensive than your run-of-the-mill workbooks, but when has that ever stopped me...I am willing to pay for quality).

We got to telling time to ten past the hour (noting the "minute" ticks on the clock face and how every time the minute was pointing to the number 1 it was five past the hour) when First stated that he was bored so we broke till next time. Kinder was chomping at the bit and wanted to write numbers in a fill-in-the-numbers chart from 1-60. The first chart I just sat back and let him go. During the second chart, I started gently correcting him (start forming the numbers from top to bottom, forming the number four by lifting the pencil rather than doing it etch-a-sketch style, using a pencil with a nicely sharpened point, etc.) Within a few minutes he was throwing himself on his bed yowling for me to stop.

Interesting, interesting.

South Africa/Stomp the Yard

Yesterday I faced a formidable pile of laundry which really needed to be folded in order to make the place halfway presentable for Danielle, Owen and Lukas. They are, frankly, used to the cluttered nature of our home and so halfway was really good enough :-)

The problem was that my shoulder prevents me from doing most things that require the use of two hands (my range of motion on the left side is limited to somewhere around elbow level). So in order to distract myself, I turned on the tv in the middle of the afternoon, something I haven't done for myself since having tv sentient kids.

I watched a show, I think it was called Globe Trekker, on a local PBS station. South Africa was being highlighted. Between my parents impending visit there (they leave Japan next week) and Anna's trip there in January, my interest in SA has increased as of late. Something I really liked about the show was that the two correspondents were themselves from South Africa.

Then last night I watched Stomp The Yard. Anna had left it behind for me to watch from a collection of contemporary films about blackness that she was viewing for potential teaching material (I'd seen Rize already and decided to pass on White Chicks). The "stomping" or line stepping in the movie (an artform performed and practiced by fraternities and sororities at African-American colleges around the country [an offshoot of a larger movement of dance]), had some notable similarities to the communicative movements/stomping that diamond miners in South Africa were demonstrating in the travel doc I had watched earlier in the day.

The miner stomping reminds me of hollering. So interesting how different parts of the body have been employed by cultures across the world for similar purposes/functions. And that had I not happened to catch Globe Trekker, I wouldn't have had this connective and contextualizing piece of information which expanded my viewing of Stomp The Yard in a critically meaningful way.

A movie we saw recently, Linda Linda Linda, was a Japanese movie set during the days of a high school festival (bunkasai). Bunkasai are a big deal in Japanese school culture and there really is no equivalent here in the States. The gist of the story is that a band comprised of girls needs a new singer last minute and an exchange student from Korea is randomly recruited. Cap loved it. I did too, but wondered what it would be like for someone completely unfamiliar with the culture and language of Japan to experience the movie.

The shoulder is starting to feel better and better with each new day. My appt with the orthopedist is in a few hours.

My breakfast of choice lately has been the Whole Foods brand organic granola with fruit and nuts. And, we have switched from soy milk to rice and almond milk. First and Cap are resisting the barley challenge (Rice Dream has a tiny bit of barley in it). Pacific Foods has started an unsweetened, organic almond milk line---yippeee! In the back of my mind I think about making my own granola and milks, but for now, it stays on the back burner.

I pulled out my two John Holt books yesterday (Teach Your Own and Instead Of Education). I want to read through them and possibly pick up Why Children Fail. I think for First a more unschooling approach is going to be the way to go this year (meaning more unschooling than Waldorf---last year was essentially an unschooled year for him). But, when I think of Kinder, I see him loving a very Waldorf Kindergarten "curriculum". More on this soon...

Weekend update

We had a great weekend with Cameron, Julie and Mike. Cam is about a year younger than Kinder and the three of them had a lot of fun together. Cam loves playing with trains, dinos, water, and running around the apartment chasing kids so he fit right in. It's always nice seeing Kinder and First rediscovering old joys like their train set.

We also went to the zoo. The train ride, crocodile, cougars and otter were the highlights. It was summer hot, but of course the kids didn't mind and the adults caught shade when they could.

I kept my shoulder pain at bay with loads of ibuprofen, resorting to round the clock dosing. It is strange to suddenly feel so restricted. I took advantage of Cap being home for the weekend and really tried not to do anything requiring the use of two hands. He was a trooper and picked up the slack despite having missed a work deadline and having company over.

I loved walking into the kitchen late on Friday night and seeing him and Mike (friends from childhood) playing Blokus and listening to the Sox game.

My shoulder feels a bit better today. I have an appointment with an orthopedist tomorrow and an acupuncturist next week.

First lost the last of his loose teeth late last night (that's his tooth box in his hand). Off to put their pet eggs in some water. They should hatch in 12-24 hours. Thanks Julie :-)

The gall bladder

Yesterday I went to Kelly's for a massage. I am having rotator cuff problems for the first time ever so to Kelly's I went in hopes of getting some pain relief. (The pain roared back last night and this morning. 800 mgs of Ibu is keeping it in check for the moment.)

The massage felt great, but not surprisingly, the best little nugget came in the form of the question posed by a gifted bodyworker: do I have trouble making decisions?

I thought, no I don't, but then it hit me, maybe I do.... I've always thought of myself as someone who has trouble "sticking" to decisions I make. Maybe there's another way of looking at that. Maybe, I think I am making a decision when in fact I am still in vacillation about it, and that's why I change my mind on what seems like a regular basis.

Interesting, interesting. Oh, and it comes down to the gall bladder. The sister of the liver, which has been pinpointed as a major trouble spot for me by many practitioners over the years.

So, the blog is back. I thought I was going to take a break, but I have changed my mind. There you have it.

Big, huge, loving congrats to Marci and Rich who welcomed Ismael home this week. He's a beauty and I can't wait to hold him.

Taking a break

I've decided to take a break from blogging.

Yesterday, I thought I'd like to put our tv down in storage for a year and Cap and the kids have agreed, albeit with mixed feelings.

As far as blogging, I think it's been a good way to ground me the past year as we made a big move and settled into a new home, neighborhood, community. It helped me feel connected to family and friends, many of whom I do not have regular phone or in person contact with. Sometimes, it simply made me feel connected, even if it was to etherspace.

But, as we approach our first anniversary of leaving and arriving, I've been feeling more aware and reflective of my personal well-being. I don't know if it's that I had some blinders on to help me through the year or if it's a natural progression of having more time to think about myself, but I ain't liking some of what I see and feel.

I cycle in and out of feeling tired (often), a touch depressed (sometimes), and asexual (almost always). This is nothing new and has been consistent for years. More recently though, I've been realizing that my imagination feels very...small and dried up.

One of my homeschooling kid friends that I've met this last year took a survey a few months ago of the moms that had gathered for Fiber Arts at her house: "what are your dreams?" As each mom ticked off her answers, a feeling of dread and sadness washed over me. I had no idea. I had no answer for this fresh-faced, wonderfully alive and inquisitive girl of nine or so.

This has stayed with me. And I thank her.

As we are in a break of sorts from the "school year" routine, as we begin our second year here (with no move planned in the near future!), as the kids grow older (and particularly as First enters his next phase of childhood), as I stand perched at what I hope is the second half of my life, it is time to take stock of what I want for myself and to go about attaining that.

So, a break from tv, a break from blogging. More time clearing the pathways to help myself feel and be more connected to my true self. For me to reclaim that self, my relationship, my dreams.

Thanks to those of you kept up with me/us by reading this blog. I do want to construct some sort of family website to share photos and updates of our goings on. I'll let you know when that happens.

Love and peace.

Our quilt

Sandy (my sister) made this quilt for us. She used our chuppah, which was orchestrated by Diane and put together cooperatively by a clutch of us on a wood floor in our apartment on Bellis Circle.

Our chuppah (as it stood during the commitment ceremony) had lots of mementos dangling around the edges of it, sent to us by friends and family around the world who were unable to join us for the event. The ones made of cloth were incorporated into the quilt, the ones of paper are saved in a box.

For over ten years, this quilt was treasured privately in various containers, shuttled around with every move. It has known the insides of many closets. I recently decided to actually use it. (I'd always thought of it as my first "heirloom" piece and felt a fierce protectiveness over it.)

Now it can begin the process of living life with us...and one day join the global pantheon of tattered, beloved, beautiful quilts, which are my favorite kind.