Bridge to terabithia and the departed

On Saturday I was lucky enough to take Elsa to see Bridge to Terabithia. I was familiar with the title although I had never read the book. When I was at Pierce, the sixth graders were reading it. I knew something sad happened, but was not prepared for the tragic event which sent an audible gasp through the theater audience. Elsa and I both cried on and off for the last quarter of the movie. It was well done, nicely acted (I particularly liked the boy actor) and good family fare bearing in mind the intense emotional impact it will most likely have for any kid who sees it.

Last night I watched The Departed at home, in chunks (along with The Amazing Race and Extras). I'm going to make an effort to rewatch it with Cap who decided he wants to see it after all. In a nutshell, I wasn't particularly impressed. My expectations were high. Leonardo DiCaprio was very good, Matt Damon was solid (but not his best work in my opinion). Mark Wahlberg, as usual, rocked, in a smaller part. I thought the "ode to Boston" aspect was weak. It was fun to see Boston on film, but I didn't feel like the movie deepened Boston for me. I remember being much more thrilled by Goodfellas back when I saw that (though, to be fair, I saw that in a theater in Japan---a special occasion unto itself). More recently, I think Mystic River made better cinematic use of Boston as a "character" and setting, as well.

Presidents day party

First decided he wanted to throw a presidents day party. He was the idea man and suggestions needed to go through him for approval. The party was today so that Anna, Elsa and Tobias could be invited and present before heading back to W-town after our already planned weekend visit.

The party started at 10:50 am. Kids and adults busied themselves with various activities and noshing.

• a 500 piece puzzle of a one dollar bill borrowed from Owen and Lukas (Baba and I could be found there for much of the party)

• a Lincoln logs and kapla blocks building area

• a donation bin where First was accepting bills and coins with either Washington or Lincoln on them

• 24 piece puzzles of a five dollar bill, penny and quarter made by Kinder and First

• Tobias' throw a coin over the river game

• the 50 state quarters computer game

• a book area with books from our own collection and the library with books about money, presidents and Washington D.C.

• the food was primarily brown/orange or green in keeping with the more powerful theme of the party: money

• lettuce, celery, carrots, veggie chips, hummus, guacamole, peanut butter, pretzels, hot dogs ("Lincoln logs"), mini meatloaf muffins ("oversized pennies"), cherries and chestnuts

• a spice cake frosted with white frosting and decorated with green sprinkles to look like a dollar bill

We ended up out back for sledding and snowboarding on the slick, hard packed snow. The kids received new Washington dollar coins as a favor. It was a lot of fun.

First had a good time though it was hard for him to face the unexpected (for him...inevitable in my mind) modifications to the plans and vision he had in his head. For example, he really didn't want Tobias to set up the game he had thought up on his own. In the end, First joined the kids to play it, but his stubbornness around it was intense.

We have been very busy lately and I'm looking forward to a quiet week. I just saw that Fiber Arts is cancelled tomorrow and am not going make other plans.

Our visit with Anna and the kids was special. There is such an amazing closeness that we share despite having lived all of the kids' lives so far apart. The children are true cousins.

xoxoxo

Icy snow skittering against the windows. Our first real snow storm in Montclair, though it's truly more of an ice storm at this point.

The kids and I made Cap's valentines in our pajamas around the table this morning as the world outside turned whiter and Cap snoozed cocooned in bed.

I found my valentine in the kitchen wrapped in pink tissue...my sweetie MADE me truffles. He's the best. Apricot, lingonberry, hazelnut chocolate cream and chestnut cream. Yummmmmm.

The four of us in bed unwrapping gifts and reading cards, marveling at artwork. Chocolate and red hearts and Grey Matter all the rage this Valentine's Day.

I think the kids would have eaten their chocolate bars down to the final licks off of fingers if we had let them, while playing Kid Pix before breakfast.

Elling

A wonderful Norwegian movie. Warm, insightful, moving, funny, realistic and magical, smart.... It's about a man who is about 50 and who has some special needs and what happens to him after his mother, who he had lived with his whole life, dies.

I thought it might be interesting to watch this back-to-back with Mozart and the Whale because that's about adults with disabilities, too, but these two movies were like apples and oranges. I liked them both, but would choose Elling over the other, hands down.

Thanks to Eleanor...I think she sent out a note about Elling via Netflix.

Museum

Danielle and co. came over for dinner last night. It was really nice to spend time both families together. Cap made Japanese curry with katsu-style chicken cutlets and baked cardomom pears drizzled with chocolate. Yum.

First and Kinder had the opportunity to expand on their Museum with the joyful cooperation of Owen and Lukas. The result? We adults were treated to:

• a model building area complete with models sculpted of modeling clay and a set of blocks with which to either copy the models or make our own

• a gallery of masterpieces, two paintings drawn by Kinder, one of which was his rendition of "Starry, Starry Night"

• a drawing by First which was taped onto a frame he made out of K-nex

• a massive gallery of drawings done by all the kids depicting the many characters from the Ben 10 series which our guys have never seen, but are becoming ardent devotees of nonetheless

• a maps and shapes section which included a map of China and Australia and a map of North America complete with the U.S., Canada, Mexico and Greenland drawn by First

We did not have to pay to visit the Museum, but this privilege was forever revoked when each of us parents failed to buy anything from the Museum gift shop. The kids have formed a club like conglomerate called Kid Life and they actually have a joint fund going for the group.

Odds and ends

It's windy out today. I feel like a hibernating bear though I'm not burning as many calories as they do.

• Yesterday we wet-on-wet painted some sheets of paper with red watercolor paint. Today we will make some valentines.

• New Zealand Day at the Paterson Museum monthly gathering sounded like it was a success. The next Country Day will be in March and the country to learn about is Egypt. Cap is going to work with the kids on something since he's been doing geography stuff with them. Everyone picks an aspect of the country to put together a presentation on and also chooses a traditional food to bring. First is very excited about the June country: Madagascar.

• I am getting together some materials and ideas to start a Math block next week. I'll introduce them to Cuisinaire rods and we'll continue playing games and doing activities involving counting, sorting, categorizing, patterns, etc. On the shopping list for this weekend: a good set of wooden blocks with cones, cylinders, and various prism shapes. Our set got left behind in California...

• Waldorf-inspired group get together yielded one guest. Marla and I had a nice time chatting and her adorable kids enjoyed playing with Kinder. First was a bit socially awkward and was intense and rigid about wanting us to buy some of the items he had for sale in his store. Marla ended up buying two things willingly (I hope) which helped. Part of my characterization of him has to do with my own unwillingness to fully support his endeavor (you don't invite people over to your house and then try to make money off them if that's not the intention of the gathering). Anyway, it ended up being a nice afternoon and I came away with two important realizations: 1) I really need to cut down on the time the kids spend watching tv (Marla put it so well: "I want my kids' minds to be their own"); and 2) I want to involve myself with homeschoolers with kids who are 5 or older for the kinds of activities I have in mind. It's not actually the content of the activities that would be different so much as the developmental thrusts of the language and thinking and actions that the kids would display and be inspired by that would be different.

• I am thinking about how to form some sort of co-op for homeschoolers to pool resources and give kids the opportunity for multi-age group learning in specific topic or subject areas. I know I could start up a Japanese language class...maybe I will.

• First is planning a President's Day party. He has an interest in presidents that is an off-shoot of his love of money. He slowly flipped through Ingri and Edgar Parin d'Aulaire's book, "Abraham Lincoln", the other day and seemed ultimately disappointed that there wasn't any mention of Lincoln's being on the penny or five dollar bill. Other than the outdated illustrated depictions of black people, it's a great book with a lot of information simply presented, but without talking down to kids. I have a feeling that First is going to come back to the book.

• Tonight Silke and her kids will come over for dinner before we all head out to a performance that the Newark Boys' Choir will be giving at a local elementary school. I'm looking forward to it except that the kids have been awake since about 5:00 am and may very well be basket cases by curtain time. The brown rice is in the rice cooker, the teriyaki chicken marinating in the fridge, the spinach and tofu made and the broccoli steamed. I may make latkes too. And Kinder and I may bake some corn bread. It's been one of those meals where I couldn't decide what I wanted to make so I'm making everything :-) They are bringing a German sweet of pitted cherries in sugar syrup that we are all eager to try.

Peaches in winter

With little fanfare I began my first week of "formal" homeschooling of the new year.

We opened with a verse, a Waldorf classic:

The earth is firm beneath my feet,
The sun shines bright above,
And here stand I so straight and strong,
All things to know and love.

Kinder comes right over and delights in doing the movements with me, First proceeds to run around the house to "hide".

On Monday, I read "Peach Boy" to them from "Japanese Children's Favorite Stories" (published by Charles Tuttle). "Peach Boy", or Momotaro, as he is called in Japanese, is one of the most popular traditional children's folktales of Japan. I started with this because it was familiar and it was a quick way to begin overlaying some Japanese stuff into our homeschooling/life. Waldorf calls for Grimm fairy tales, which I haven't abandoned, but it made sense to start with something that felt more right for me. I also veered from Waldorf practice to read the story from a book rather than tell it orally.

The kids have each drawn a picture in their sketchbooks depicting a character/scene from the story. Today I decided on a whim to retell the story orally which they loved. They added in pieces here and there. We then made beeswax models of the peach (First), spotted dog (Kinder), pheasant (me) and Momotaro (all of us cooperatively). Kinder said he wanted to do a puppet show of the story, so this afternoon we started making some puppets by sewing together felt pieces and stuffing them with roving.


First has been balking at much of what we've been doing and participating somewhat reluctantly and at times under mild threat/pressure. But, the boy likes to sew. I was getting started on sewing the pheasant (Kinder's request, he had fallen in love with the beeswax pheasant) and before I knew it, First jumped right in and began working on the monkey.

He picked out some felt and cut out a monkey outline without using a pattern (which is what I had done for the pheasant). I threaded a needle for him with some thread (embroidery floss) and got him started on a running stitch. Well, before I knew it, he had sewn around about 3/4 of the monkey and stopped to stuff it. The neck of the monkey was too narrow to get the stuffing through to fill the head. I was freaked out that he had worked so quickly and that I had missed opportunities to guide him (comes with the territory of life with two).

I suggested gently that I could take out about half the stitches he had sewn so that he could stuff the head. He glowered and I gave him a minute to think it over. Next thing I knew, he had cut off the monkey's head in order to stuff it. I felt bad, but the kid knew what he wanted and took the initiative to remedy the situation. I liked that.

So, First completed his monkey puppet with very little help from me. The camera is missing, but once it's located, we'll be taking a picture of it. He wants to sell it, of course. Just call him Scrooge McKid.

We played Blokus, Chutes and Ladders, and completed the 360 piece puzzle of the rain forest animals that Wendy gave First for Christmas. First also worked on Form Drawing and recorder. Kinder baked peanut butter cookies with me today for Kate (a fellow homeschooler) and her family who welcomed their fourth child a couple of weeks ago. I abandoned Finn Family Moomintroll for now. We had not read it in weeks and it didn't feel right to pick it up again. We started afresh with "My Father's Dragon", one that we've read before, but has been completely worth revisiting. I'm planning on reading the trilogy back-to-back-to-back.

In other news, we borrowed a bunch of books about money from the library last week, I bought them a book about Washington DC during my birthday date with Cap, we put Kidpix on the computer (thanks, Danielle!), and they have been watching Curious George on PBS. The kids love all of these things and have been very happy and animated.

Next week, I am thinking about doing another Japanese folktale, but haven't completely decided. We'll follow the same schedule of activities continuing Form Drawing and recorder for First and Drawing, Baking and Painting for Kinder. Fiber Arts will be at Lucia and Holly's on Monday and Wednesday I'll be hosting a planning meeting for folks interested in participating in Waldorf-inspired group activities.

Life is good, the boys are great and I can literally smell ripe, white peaches (the kind you can get in Japan).

Mozart and the whale

Wow. A wonderful movie about a 20 something man with Asperger's. So many of the details rang true and the story was rendered beautifully. I read about the movie on the Autism list I'm on. One mom posted that her Aspie daughter wasn't so impressed because the main character wasn't so much like herself :-)

The male lead (Josh Hartnett) was really strong, the female lead (Radha Mitchell) was trickier. I wasn't sure if it was the aim of her performance based on the written part and/or her own instincts, or whether it was a weakness in her performance, but it didn't matter. The whole of the experience was just right.

Make note of the supporting actress who barks out the last line of the movie...something about the gravy. She was pitch perfect in her every line and gesture.

Samson's locks

For the last few weeks I have been thinking about getting my haircut. In the last couple of days it has become nearly an obsession to mull over this seemingly simple decision.

My hair m.o. is to let it grow really long and then to cut it pretty short every few years. The last couple of times I've gotten it cut I've not gone shorter than shoulder length to avoid the repetition of maintenance haircuts needed to keep it very short. My hair grows quickly and it seemed like a lot of money to spend on "hair" to visit my beloved stylist every other month (this was back in Cambridge).

My recent quandary began with discomfort at night because someone or other would be lying on my hair and it would get pulled as I turned over in my sleep. (Both boys usually end up in bed with us by early morning.) Then I started to feel lazy about washing it. I would remember wistfully while showering how quickly I could wash and condition my hair when it was super short.

When my hair is long, I like being able to do things like wearing it in braids or wearing it "up". But, the reality is that I'm not really into spending much time on my hair or giving it much thought, especially in the morning. So, inevitably, it gets pulled back in a barrette. Every day.

I feel that when I have long hair, my identity becomes somewhat entangled (pun intended, I guess) with my hair. I become my hair in a way that doesn't happen when my hair is shorter. And these days that doesn't sit well with me. I'm turning 41 on Sunday and feel renewed in my joy and wonder at who I am and the possibilities for creativity that I am feeling. I really don't want to be thinking about my hair this much at all.

I've thought about asking my sister to chop it all off when she's here tomorrow, but distractions niggle and I may wait and go to a hair salon. I know what I want it to look like at this point, but am convinced that no one will be able to replicate the vision that is me in my fantastical mind. And then I realize I am still cycling pretty vigorously in these mundane thoughts.

De colores

Red

pms fury rejection wanting to hang on half pint of ben and jerry's way too late wanting house getting state of the union

Orange

short ribs bone-in simmering in cast iron nestled with carrot, onion and garlic reminds me of childhood so warming the consuming already begun

Yellow

First delighted by invented spelling which hadn't occurred to him writing a story using the golden path paper I made him

Green

the piece of scrap paper with Mummu's hospital room phone number on it floating around the apartment a testament bearing witness

Blue

the laundry the sky up above washing dishes making phone calls

Indigo

talking with Danielle in her kitchen as the light outside fades the children making money watching the bear old rem the background music

Violet

my hope my joy my strength my self rebooting reconnecting catching up and lingering with El on the phone boys coming in for goodnight kisses Cap waiting to see what he can make me for dinner

The queen

Danielle and I went out today. An unofficial birthday outing. (Cap found out last week that he'll be in Dublin this Thurs-Sun. So, not that much "me" time forecast for b-day weekend.) We had lunch at Lalezar for Turkish/Mediterranean food. It was so good. The decor was lovely, the service nice, and the food, really wonderful. We had a Turkish salad and the appetizer sampler which included some of my favorites: grape leaves and babaghanoush. The bread was a revelation. We had them put our chicken kebob with yogurt entree straight into a doggy bag because we were stuffed by the time it was ready to be brought out.

We then went to Terra for a few minutes (one of my favorite stores in Montclair, the other one being Watchung Books). It's the kind of store that invites lots of handling. All items are fair trade and come from many corners of the world. There's a tea salon in the back and we picked up movie snacks: chocolate for D and a lemon square for me.

We went to see The Queen. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was let down. I thought it was kind of boring, though interesting at the same time if that makes sense. Helen Mirren was indeed wonderful in it. Prince Philip was made out to be a brutish jerk and I wondered what the source material was in general for a movie so based in real people and events. Watching the movie did remind me of how starved of factual and critical information we actually are (most of us) in an era that is hailed as the "information age". There's a point in the movie when Helen Mirren's character, Queen Elizabeth II, says to the Tony Blair character, "you are my tenth prime minister, the first one having been Winston Churchill." It made me go "hmmm" (I know so little and want to know more).

Cap...in part because he is feeling better and in part because I am feeling better (not teaching this semester? check; significant financial worries now past me? check)...he is appearing to me in more color, warmth and glow. I don't know how much of this is due to successful acupuncture and Chinese medicine treatment, as well. But, I am feeling more and more relaxed these days. And juicier.

I have been experiencing that "head in the ground" hibernating thing at night where after the kids go to bed my butt and brain find themselves settling down in front of the tv. I've started watching Season 4 of The Sopranos (very watchable after all these years) and am looking forward to the restarting of the Heroes season tomorrow night. I'll also be watching season 2 of Rome and enjoyed my first episode of Extras last week (though it's all about the Patriots tonight, baby).

We watched The Office and the musical episode of Scrubs last week and then kept watching Thirty Rock because it was so funny and well written.

I have noticed the days are already noticeably longer. Here's hoping that my mind and body adjust and I unplug myself from the box before I fry too many more cells. (Will she tune in for the rest of the Lost season? Will she get sucked into Amazing Race All-Stars? Will she stop watching SNL in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, she can recapture some of that lost glory be it ever so vicarious and seriously hopeless?)

Update

An arctic front is descending on us here in NJ and I wonder, seriously, why I ever complained about the unseasonably mild weather we've been having. Well, at least our tub of water on the front porch, our ice experiment, should yield some ice in the morning.

• Cap is finally back on his feet after his third cold in four weeks had him in bed for a few days. We celebrated his 42nd birthday yesterday. Chana masala, saag paneer, aluu gobi, garlic naan and scrumptious samosas from our local veggie Indian place. Sandy and Mike came over. We had a satisfying yellow cake with chocolate frosting for dessert. Cap did the baking, as he is wont to do. Gluten-free, casein-free, of course. I splurged for the Scharffen-Berger baking chocolate that was used for the frosting. Mmmm.

• Cap did some lesson time with the kids this morning. They sounded like they had a blast while I tinkered away at my desk in the next room. Kinder worked on "---ack" words and enjoyed drawing pictures of the words he came up with. For "lack" he drew an empty box utilizing the 3-D drawing skills he has been exploring lately. First worked on geography and learned, among other things, that the Canadian dollar coin has the nickname "loonie".

• I twisted my foot this morning stepping off our front steps onto a briquette sized rock from the front yard. A drawback to Dansko clogs.... No ice skating this week for me.

• Had a life altering conversation with my mom on the phone over the weekend. Our debt to my parents has been excused, a gift in lieu of help with a down payment. My path has diverged from those of my siblings in a number of ways, home ownership being one. It was amazing to literally feel a weight being lifted from my body. I hadn't quite realized how heavy the burden had been on a day-to-day basis. Our financial situation is seeming SO much more manageable. Getting out from under credit card debt seems possible within 2 years, knock on wood. If we don't have to move again in 2 years, we should actually be able to start saving at that point!

• Watched Everything Is Illuminated which I loved (we both did). Impressive directorial debut by Liev Schreiber. Great acting, funny and immensely sad.

• Watched the Golden Globes. Boooring. Seeing Sascha Baron Cohen as himself was great. Hugh Laurie yum yum as usual. Jennifer Hudson and America Ferrar were both touching to watch as they accepted their awards. As was Forrest Whitaker. Justin Timberlake made my jaw drop when he impersonated Prince in a visual gag. It was funny, but seemingly inadvisable.

• Finished A Cook's Tour which I thoroughly enjoyed. I've started The Woman At The Washington Zoo.

• Nearly done going through and organizing my papers. Put up a bunch of photo frames yesterday making the livingroom/our bedroom in particular feel quite cozy. Pictures that never made it out of boxes in Sacramento are getting dusted off and finding homes here in Montclair.

• Looking forward to seeing JR and Pam this weekend. They are in NYC visiting Jodie.

• Decided not to renew my teaching license after looking into what would be required and discovering that if I ever go back to a job where I would need a license, that I would be able to reapply for renewal at that point. It was still a little hard to let go of yet another part of my professional past. But, mostly, it feels like I am clearing out my closet, making way for new and exciting things.

• Love love love my little niece Lily. We talk on the phone sometimes (she's 1 1/2 :-)

• Go Pats!

My moment of zen

As I gazed at my lunch of cold leftover zucchini pancakes and still warm sweet potato fries, I knew I was getting better. Plus, there was the seven loads of laundry I was in the midst of doing. Another quiet day at home while we recuperate from our various maladies. Unfortunately, Cap came home last night and fell ill (3rd time in 4 weeks).

I'm watching Rome, pretty addictive stuff. HBO is rerunning season 1 before starting season 2 on Sunday.

Watched United 93 the other night. It was harrowing. When it first came out, I thought I would never watch it. Then it made year's best lists and I reconsidered. I'm glad I watched it. It was both a way to feel like bearing witness and a way to support a brave, honest and human work of art.

Am reading and loving A Cook's Tour by Anthony Bourdain. I'd like to make it to Les Halles someday.

I've put together a bit of a schedule for next week. Baking, painting and drawing for Kinder; form drawing and recorder for First. Outdoors time and handwork for everyone. I'm going to make a King Winter doll for the nature table. Also hoping to get to yoga, everyone's health permitting, and getting out for a walk/gentle jog a few times.

We had a few minutes of snow flurries this morning followed by cold air and bright sun. Maybe we will have some winter after all (it was near 70º four days ago as I traipsed through Manhattan with my girls Mary, Jay and Lily).

Dreamz with a z

We watched American Dreamz a couple of nights ago. It was funny. I once had a brief encounter with Paul Weitz, the writer and director of the movie. We went to the same university. In front of Olin library, I saw him crouched over looking at something intently on the ground. I joined him and I don't even remember what it was...a bug maybe? I liked him and the moment, though.

A movie that I loved that he made was About A Boy.

American Dreamz manages to be smart and clever and humane about modern American life and the dilemmas herein.

I finished reading Cell last night. Cap gave it to me for X-mas. I've been a Stephen King fan since high school. The last King novel I read and loved was Insomnia, probably ten years ago. Cell was pretty fracking scary, especially in the beginning. It was both thrilling and unnerving to be scared while reading a book cozily wrapped in an afghan on my own couch.

I am desperately fending off Cap's cold. Trying a new herbal remedy called Umcka, my mom's trusty Kaigen and chugging Synergy, trying all the different flavors. I want to stay healthy for my girl's weekend in Manhattan with Mary! She's in town for a depo and we will be painting the town our own lovely hues, immune system willing.

The end is in sight with my grading. I'm just waiting to see if a few students will revise and resubmit work to push their grades up. By Monday I should only have two students who will be finishing up incompletes this spring.

We're cleaning and organizing and opening our arms up to 2007. Cap and the boys took the tree down yesterday, I've laid out the list of house cleaning chores that need to be done, hopefully before Anna arrives tomorrow night, and you can actually see the apple red surface of my desk!

I heart Nathan Fillion

Cap and I watched Slither and Inside Man last week.

Slither was reminiscent of Tremors. Alien horror with lots of tongue in cheek laughs. Nathan Fillion was in it and I love him. That's all one really needs to know. He was Caleb towards the end of Buffy and Mal in Firefly/Serenity. I give Slither four stars though it is not for folks who don't like "Alien" type gore. Barbra will have to watch it with remote in hand. If she watches it at all.

Inside Man was great. The opening sequence setting the scene in Manhattan was beautifully done. You had no doubt about where you were, but it was shot in a very fresh way, making me feel like I was seeing the city from a completely new perspective. What a gift it is to have been able to see so many of Spike Lee's movies as a contemporary.

Clive Owen was the best I've seen of him yet. (Did I really see him on Boston Legal the other night? Karen, Brent and I were all kind of bleary-eyed and I couldn't decide definitively.) Jodie Foster was pretty stunning, making an impression in a small, but pivotal role. And Denzel, well he just shone. He flexed those chops and his body just sang throughout the performance. And Ziggy, from The Wire season 2 was in it!

I give it four stars, too. There was one niggling question which was a distraction after the movie ended which held it back from five star status.

Money matters

First is really into money. I sometimes refer to it as an obsession, but feel ultimately, that that has a tinge of judgement to it that I don't like.

It started with Uncle Scrooge, Donald Duck's uncle and now has a fairly healthy life of its own. First's favorite Christmas presents this year: a $100 bill, a $50 bill, and a safe (except for the loud alarm which we have not yet been able to help him disarm).

Christmas at Sandy and Mike's was colored by the $2 bill, buffalo nickels and wheat pennies. Pops gave us a zinc penny and a liberty dime. And Santa gave First the official U.S. Mint 50 State Quarters Collector's Archive. So now, we are chasing quarters, as well.

First and Kinder have had an interest in maps and geography for years. In a way, it's what they know. First traveled to Paris in utero, Kinder's first trip to Japan was in utero. They have both been excellent traveling companions on planes, trains and automobiles. We have lived in three states with them and they have family in two other states, as well as, another country.

The Quarter Collector's Archive has created a nice segue from money to geography. As 2006 comes to a close, I have been longing for travel. I've been day dreaming about visits to California and Florida, we are hoping for a grant to come through which would bring us to Japan in the summer, and we are wondering if we'll be able to pull together the money for a dream trip to Finland for Cap anytime soon...

We visited the U.S. Dept. of Engraving and Printing website the other day and discovered that they have tours. Like Jelly Belly, I explained to them. First wondered if they would be giving out samples of money as they did samples of jelly beans with a knowing smile on his face.

So now, the kids are acting upon the familial compass and it is pointing south. Washington D.C. here we come.

The night gardener

I finished reading The Night Gardener by George Pelecanos today. Cap gave it to me on our anniversary. I opened it in the car as we were driving away from the house. It was on Stephen King's EW list and Pelecanos is a writer on The Wire. Between those two things, I was eager to read it.

There was definitely Wire-ish resonance, although it stood on its own. It's a whodunit about a young teen's death set in contemporary Washington DC. But, there's stuff in there about culture, class and race which seeps out at you, making for some satisfying yet sad reading. Much like The Wire, incidentally (in which case it's satisfying yet sad watching).

There was one point when I heard "Omar"'s voice from The Wire in the dialogue of a character in the book. That made me smile. Pelecanos has written about a dozen books. I'll probably check out some of his other novels at some point. But for now, I have two new books that I received from Kinder and Cap for Christmas. Kate Atkinson's Behind The Scenes At The Museum (her Case Histories was my favorite book read in 2006) and Cell by Stephen King.

We opened our presents today because we're leaving for Massachusetts early tomorrow and thought it cruel to have the kids open presents and then have to leave them at home with no leisurely playing time.

Celebrated with Sandy and Mike last night at their place. There was a point in the evening when I realized that I was lying on their couch watching Sandy, my sister, order her collection of wheat pennies. We were alone in a room, bathed by the light of an onlooking lamp. It has been so long since we've had time like that together. It was...priceless as Master Card would say.

The downside of christmas

It's happened again.

Christmas comes and we go crazy. Less crazy than in years past, but we've lost our heads again and I've been fretting over our online banking account. We've got about $150 till next Friday. $150 for the next eight days. Dammit. The debits don't always come in in real time, so it's possible we have less. I moved $500 over from our savings to cover our tushes. That's half our savings.

I did pare down this year. I think we ordered 150 holiday cards to last year's 175. And, theoretically, we spent less on gifts this year. But, I didn't budget. I have found it undoable, to budget, since our move. I've tried, but with so little give between incoming and outgoing, and the different times that bills come in in a given month, I'm still grappling. I literally can't find the beginning point.

Then there was the anniversary. I did something that we tend to do, again less often than we used to, which is to turn a blind eye once we've decided to "go for it". I did stick to one of my new things which is to use the debit card for pretty much anything. Hence, the $150 we are reduced to.

The credit card bill came today, the "miles" one that is meant to be paid off every month. Cap's hotel charges from his CA trip were on there for $700. The reimbursement won't be coming in time for payment though. And the Radio City X-mas Spectacular charge was on there. I thought I'd put it on, earn the miles, and send them the check as soon as my mom paid me back. She paid me back and in the midst of Kinder's birthday and Thanksgiving, I didn't immediately write a check to the credit card company and now the $400+ has been absorbed by our own spending. Frack, frack, frack.

The feelings of dread, of blood running cold, of regret....it's hard not to go into lockdown. No more Christmas, no more gifts, no more celebrating, etc. Especially tonight, the longest night of the year.

But, all is not lost. Cap has money coming in from a consulting gig he did in Texas, I have the second half of my Lesley money coming in at the end of this month. Then, Cap has another check coming from other consulting work that he is just about done with. Our finances refuse to stay still.

Dare I say it? My first resolution for 2007: a household budget!

Anniversary of the first kiss

Cap and I celebrated 17 years since our first kiss this weekend. Sandy came over to be with the kids and Cap and I had nearly 24 hours together, alone.

Celebrating, taking this time for us, required peeling away of layers. It's amazing and kind of awesome how time and experience and aging and growing adds on so much to two young ones coming together in the heat of attraction. The details and accumulation of stuff...some of it becomes debris that needs to be brushed away. More so than maybe I realized.

I feel like I've been letting stuff just hang on, that I've been quite still not disturbing the acculturation of my self within my relationship. I feel like a hermit crab ready to look for another shell. One I can decorate with new eyes, and with a new aesthetic.

We saw Girlyman last night. The show was in an auditorium smaller than most school auditoriums. It was perhaps the size of an intimate lecture hall. 150 seats tops. We were in the front row, right in the middle. They were feet away from us. I felt like we were all in a big living room. Never again, I thought. They're so quiet, I also thought (I'm used to listening to them full blast while dancing around the kitchen.)

It was inspiring to see folks doing what they love, being creative for themselves, making music/art/performace cooperatively, being funny, being cute, and spreading joy and love along the way. I have a thing for artists.

And so I hope that I can continue to strive to bring artistry to my own life and my life with my children and partner. Cap and I had a good talk about homeschooling over a satisfying breakfast at the Eagle Rock diner this morning. (I tried a NJ specialty: Taylor ham --- it was good :-) I had a good talk with a new friend, Silke, about homeschooling last week, as well.

Back when I had my first kiss with Cap, I'm sure I envisioned the possibility of a life together with this cute boy. And now, here I am, with a life with him. I've had my moments the past few years when I've longed for, screamed for, a return to the heat, the romance, the sweeping off of feet, of promise. I've wondered, in the last few years, if there is a necessary trade off. That with stability, with commitment and children there comes a requisite loss of that bubbly unknown. The excitement of what can only be imagined.

It's time to come out from under the yoke of the old shell. It's a lovely place in its way, comforting and familiar, but with some stale corners...some hardened edges. I will keep with me myself. The original me. The me inside. The me that matters. The me that I know can generate heat, promise and bubbly excitement.

The egg has dropped

Wow. Ovulation induced ranting yesterday. By late afternoon I was nearly catatonic.

But, the day arced nicely. We didn't make it to Fiber Arts (I may have to accept that it is simply not their cup of tea), but we spent some time outside on the porch and in the backyard. I needed pics for our holiday card. I gave it time and the kids were amenable to being photographed while being very playful. I was reminded of Karen's words and method for photographing, to take time.

Here's a link to her photography website: http://web.mac.com/raymondkg/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html


So, it was a pleasure. I hadn't taken candids of them in a long time and I loved settling into the zen of it. It was warm, in the 50s, the sky was blue with some clouds, the trees mostly bare of their leaves.

Then I made a tortilla patata (a potato frittata-esque recipe from Julia). The flame of zen was lit in me and I took my time again. Concentrated on getting the onion and potato sliced as thinly as possible, keeping the stove heat at a steady medium/low, sautéeing gently, warmly... I flipped the tortilla successfully once, then twice. Then, during the third flip, the tortilla slipped noiselessly and without fanfare off my flipping platter onto the floor. 45 minutes of tlc, splat. The kids came dashing in hearing my ohmigod. It was irreparable and inedible (the egg still uncooked on the inside, the floor really not very clean) so it went into the trash and we went to our friends' house to play.

Cap took care of getting the kids to bed last night and I was able to talk to Julia on the phone. I had to call her to tell her I was now one of the initiated, a full fledged member of the order of tortilla patata makers. Talking with her, being with her, it was so zen, too. There is just a shorthand emotionally which draws us so close. It's painful though to even think about it now. "Miss" doesn't quite encompass my feelings about the loss of Julia, Erika and Judy in my life. If I think about them or talk to them too long or deeply, I just start to feel a lot of pain, a big gaping hole.

Cap and I watched a silly and funny movie on tv last night. John Stamos playing a gay wedding planner who goes on strike protesting the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Maine. We NEVER watch silly movies that happen to be on tv. Ever. But, there we were relaxing and zoning out...or should I say, zenning out?

And I got me some intimacy this morning. For the first time in weeks, the kids hopped out of bed together to play rather than insisting that I get out of bed, too. (They never insist that Cap get out of bed.) What else will today bring?

Lady grey buzz

I think the decaffeinated Lady Grey tea has enough residual caffeine in it to give me a boost. Maybe it's the dollop of honey I've taken to putting into it. Girlyman is on the stereo, laundry in the machines, directions to Kelly's gotten (Fiber Arts later).

Cap was in bed most of Friday and Saturday, down with a cold. I am so bad when it comes to giving him sympathy when he gets sick. It's ridiculous, but I resent it. I think thoughts like, "wow, when's the last time I got to stay in bed for two days straight", or, "if he would just take better care of himself he wouldn't get so knocked out". Sigh.

I think it's an expression of how stretched I am. And, I really needed his presence this weekend. He was away for a week in California (including Sacramento...talk about resentment) and upon his return jumped right back into a work week. Typically, during a work week, we barely see each other. Then, he was sick, and so it's been feeling like an extended period of no contact, no cooperation, no partnership.

It's depressing.

Christmas tree/decorations? Not yet. Holiday cards? Who knows. Doing housework together this weekend? No. My own work time? Not for awhile.

We're spending Saturday night together and away this coming weekend to celebrate 17 years together. But, when time together is so sparse day-to-day, I wonder how celebratory we'll be. We'll probably be going over our calendars/coordinating schedules, and having to deal with a lot of little stuff to get it out of the way before we can even get to just chilling out.

I need some intimacy here!

I've effectively killed my buzz.

King winter

There's a strong wind this morning. It's bright, sunny and cold. The outside thermometer read 15º at 7:30 am. (I swear someone must have been out on the fire escape touching up the paint during the night because there are smudges of what look like black paint on the thermometer this morning....strange.)

I made oatmeal this morning. Oatmeal on Fridays has sunk in. I don't always make it, but I always think about it. Making and eating oatmeal is very satisfying. I didn't like having to stand at the stove for a good 15 minutes to get it going, at first, but now I love the zen of it. We use McCann's Irish steel cut oats because of the wheat contamination of rolled oats produced in the U.S. (Although I've heard there is someone now producing "safe" rolled oats --- need to look into that.) (Soy) butter, maple syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon the condiments that line the breakfast bar.

Doing some laundry. Discovering that if it can be done, doing it twice a week makes it more manageable for my back. To get to the laundry room we need to go downstairs, out the front door, around back and down into the basement through a separate entrance. We've got a great, sturdy, secondhand basket which makes the lugging easier. Doing two plus loads as opposed to the four plus loads of once-a-week laundry is proving to make a difference.

A trick to doing laundry here is to do it in the morning during the week. Generally, our upstairs and downstairs neighbors work during the day during the week. Although Donald seems to work from home sometimes.

I felt King Winter announcing his impending arrival as the wind whipped around me, me in my winter coat, with hat and gloves on, carrying the basket around the side of the house. When will it snow? Will First stand upon a snowboard this season? Will it be a white Christmas?

Time to make some lunch (rice, sausage, and spinach with tofu and miso). L and O will be here this afternoon and after that we will go observe the drumming and movement class. Cap lies in bed, felled by his jet lag/exhaustion/cold. Tonight, latkes. Decided to pass on making apple sauce, we'll have apple slices instead. And some broccoli.

Knex

Judy started it.

Knex entered our lives quietly....with stealth. Judy gave First a tub of them for his 6th birthday in June. I thought it was curious that when the tub was opened, out came a disproportionately small plastic bag of Knex. 150 pieces of Knex actually take up very little space. What I didn't know was that if you don't watch out, these plastic wonders multiply fast.

Sometime since we moved to Montclair (just over three months ago), Knex fever swept through our home. Kinder took a shine to them and soon he was building, creating and designing with them for a good hour upon waking, every morning. It was discovered that Owen and Lukas have a bunch and soon the kids were feeding each other their enthusiasm, ideas and delight. (Well, not so much for Lukas who is not as into them as the other three.)

Kinder and First started saving up their money and buying small sets. Then, Kinder's birthday came. The kids are blessed with many loving relatives and friends and after the dust settled, we had a lot of Knex.

This morning, I sat down with the kids to provide moral support while they completed a much anticipated Knex project and then without really thinking about it, I started to sort what appeared to be over one thousand pieces of Knex.

Some thoughts crossed my mind:

• "This is something that would be killing me if I had to do it on one of my "weekend" days. (If I was working outside of the home full-time.)"

I was grateful to have the time and space to plunk down and lose myself in sorting piece after piece of colorful hard plastic. I don't often just sit and do with the kids and this issomethingg I am looking forward to doing more of as I make the switch to more conscious homeschooling.

• "Do I need to examine (A) Cap and I passing along our completist tendencies to these innocents, and, (B) how much stuff the kids have?"

First it was Thomas and puzzles, then it was dinosaurs, now it's Cars and Knex. I'm looking forward to going deeper with them with topics and themes instead of continually adding on.

As I organized their stuff yesterday, I was reminded of how many games and books they have (I'm very out of sight, out of mind...or in this case, out of use, out of mind.) We rarely sit down and play these games and when they choose books to read with me, they tend to pick the same books. Good thoughts to have though, since I think with the aforementioned switch I'll be looking to add variety to the games we play and the books we read. Maybe it's not that we have too much stuff, but that we don't use all the stuff that we have (probably because we have too much of it!)

• "This is a living, breathing example of the importance of kids engaged in meaningful activity."

During the couple of hours we spent together on the floor, there was no bickering, no tears, no whining, no talk from First about money (his latest obsession), patience, creativity, cooperation, negotiation and compromise.

So, was my task in sorting those many, many Knex futile? It may very well be that over time the rods will be put away in the rods bin and the joints will be put away in the joints been, the gears with the gears and so on. And, we may discover that keeping the pieces sorted doesn't matter. That it's more fun to have them overflowing the big tub, dumping them out, raking our fingers and arms through them making a racket looking for that little black joint and two of the tiny blue washers.

But, simply being together, having time slow and expand so that when I came out to the kitchen I was surprised that it was almost noon, thinking my thoughts, and being part of a process that feels so good and right and hopeful and exciting---wow, I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Your mommy hates housework

Think "Free To Be You And Me". (For those of you unfamiliar with FTBYAM by Marlo Thomas and Friends, check it out, it's a classic. On the record/cd there is a bit about housework that I think Phyllis Diller does. Basically telling kids that no one likes housework, but if you do it together, it's less of a bore.)

As I gear up for January, I've begun again to outline a schedule. When I look at the schedule, parts of it feel like an agenda, in a way that is not comfortable. The "scum" that rose to the top of my thoughts this morning: housework.

I don't hate housework, but I can think of and do many other things to fill my days before I will myself to finally do some house cleaning task. I like and appreciate a clean house. My parents kept and still keep clean households. I enjoy tasks like washing dishes and doing laundry. I feel deeply satisfied after I clean my bathroom. But, I don't have that inner drive to clean and keep clean.

I understand it rationally, I love the look of it aesthetically, and even if I could afford it, I would not hire someone else to come in and do it for me. I've never minded living in a certain amount of grime and dust and personal cluttery coziness.

But, then I had kids and things did change. Just as the amount of stuff and bodies in our household increased, the amount of time and energy to attend to keeping things clean, organized and clean again, decreased. Sisyphus had nothing on me as I began to cycle in and out of denial and harsh self-judgement.

Things are somewhat more manageable now. The kids are 5 and 6 and we are much more used to having them around. And they can help us and help themselves more and more. But, moving from Massachusetts to California two years ago and then from California to New Jersey this summer, we have not had the chance to settle into our home spaces in a deep way.

We're mostly out of boxes at this point, but I don't yet feel like everything has been unpackaged, examined, ruminated upon and then placed in its new home in our home. And I'd like to do that.

Now, how did I get here from house work?

In Waldorf ways, the early years of children and family at home find the family working and being together. The parents are supposed to be models of meaningful work such as cooking, cleaning, fixing, caring, etc. So, any time I draft a schedule, I find myself putting chores down for each day, like, Monday is floor washing, Tuesday is laundry, Wednesday is dusting, etc. The thing is, I've tried it, and it doesn't resonate with me, because I don't want to be doing it. I've accused myself of various things such as laziness, slothfulness, and the epitome of undisciplined.

But, in the last couple of days, I've been rethinking the formatting of this schedule of housework. Why not do housework on one of the weekend days so that Cap and I can both be involved and modeling? Maybe I won't feel it's such a chore if we're all doing it together? And then, this morning the voice of Phyllis Diller in my head.

I think that before we can get in a groove of regular and meaningful housework, Cap and I need to do some pre-cleaning. It's a balancing act and a process though because where I see too much stuff in too little space and just want to hoover through the apartment willy nilly, he sees an abundance of memories and objects which serve many purposes, some of which may not be immediately obvious.

I continue to tinker at this, being a partner, a family, a mother, a citizen.

Taming time

Periodically, I make attempts to tame time. When I'm doing it, of course I don't realize how fruitless an endeavor it is. I think it does help to reduce the tension of chaos in the moment. It's one of my rituals, I guess. Sitting down and mapping things out on paper in order to see what is possible, prioritize, and for a few moments anyway, make things still.

My last attempt was two days ago. I didn't know I was going to be doing it, but there I was, sitting at the computer, making schedules for the weekdays starting in the quickly looming month of January, what I've been thinking of as the "start" of the rest of the school year. My inspiration was that I could make schedules for each day, giving me more space per page compared to past schedules I've drawn up which were more "week-at-a-glance".

Well, once I was looking at "day-at-a-glance", I started to feel squeezed. How is there possibly enough time in a day?

And so, evolved the epiphany this morning, "taming time". What am I trying to do and why? Time doesn't exist to be tamed. It exists to be filled with what we want it to be filled with. It should not be ruling me, I should be...not getting my panties rolled up in a bunch about it. How's that for eloquence.

One of my biggest struggles is with having a side that doesn't care a bit about what others think, and having a side that judges myself relentlessly. And the judge-y part of me has been inevitably affected by what I see and hear around me, effortlessly absorbing it all. It is in response to this that I sometimes feel like the best thing in the world for me would be to go live in a hut somewhere, off the grid. Grow my own food, wake with the sun, sleep with the dark, you know the drill.

But, no, now, now, focus on the now. I give myself the proverbial pinch and wake up and it feels like it's time to scramble, again. Don't spend too much time making lists or spiralling into thought, just do. Look around my home and space, listen to my kids and partner, slow down enough to feel what is inside me, and go from there. Be ruled by this. It's not time that needs to be tamed after all.

Where to start

Here.

Cap came home this morning from a week away. He flew the red-eye and after a quick shower and bowl of cereal, went to work. All he wants to do tonight is crack open a beer and chill on the couch. He's out getting some Chinese food as I type.

The kids and I went to Fiber Arts Circle today. It was at Holly and Lucia's house. Kelly, Lila and Pippa were there, as were Mary, Grace and Elinor. We met Mary and her daughters for the first time today. It was nice. Comfortable, open, welcoming.

I had pretty serious apartment envy, Holly's place is on the 6th floor of an 8 floor, old, beautiful apartment building with two apartments per floor. 1500 sq. ft., hardwood floors, high ceilings and a view of the Manhattan skyline. I felt like I was in a nest high atop the treetops. (An even lovelier surprise was returning home and feeling a powerful sense and love of our home. It's currently a mess and has such drab carpets and bare walls and is so not put together, but it's still our place, no doubt.)

Kinder started weaving on one of those pot holder making looms. He got about half the loops on going in one direction :-) First wanted to make snow out of fibers and worked on that for awhile. He ended up sewing up a piece of wool roving into a little ball. I brought along a few unfinished things that have been laying around for awhile and managed to sew back on the head of a little stuffed cat.

I'm looking forward to becoming more regular attendants of this gathering.

Tomorrow we are going on a field trip to the Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange. I have learned that First likes the terminology of "school". So when I said we were going on a "field trip", as opposed to "let's go check out the zoo", he was thrilled and excited. I asked him recently what he wanted to "do" once we resume more of a structured "home school" in January and the first thing he said was that he wanted home work :-)

I developed yet a new incarnation of a schedule yesterday and when I showed him that I'd like to have a block with Kinder during which time he would do stuff on his own, I impulsively said, "you know, like homework", and boy did his smile shine.

Wednesday we have a playdate with a Waldorf inspired home schooling family.

Friday we are going to observe a drumming and movement class that has a wonderful reputation for having amazing teachers.

Saturday, hopefully, we'll put the tree and decorations up.

Sunday, I have an appointment with Dr. Li and the kids will spend time with their uncle Takai and Auntie Lisa in Forest Hills.

Chinese food is here. Heroes is on tonight. Thanks for reading, my friends and sorry for the long absence.

Moonlight Magic

Kinder lay himself down on the floor in a square of moonlight. It was so striking that I crawled over from my usual bedtime spot on Kinder's beanbag chair and joined him. First did, too. We marvelled at how quickly the moon had changed to full. We had looked at the moon in all her gibbous, Halloween glory only two nights ago as we walked home from trick-or-treating.

We lay on our backs, looking up at the moon and sang our bedtime songs: Twinkle, Twinkle; Hush Little Alien; This Little Light of Mine; and Baby Beluga. Inspired by our togetherness, bodies warmly snuggled, we moved our arms and hands about to the songs. It was so nice, a lovely change of pace to our normal routine brought about by something as simple and awesome as moonlight.

And then I realized that we were in the exact spot where the window had blown in and landed on Friday night, just six nights ago. My mood faltered just a bit, but then it soldiered on and I went with it. We took back the spot, the moonlight was too irresistable.

Bath

I took the bath because my sciatic pain was flaring up big time. Also, because a cold front has descended upon us and our apartment and my body were cold.

I love baths, Japanese style. Deep, deep tub, hot, hot water. In this country, clawfoot tubs provide a close second experience (although honestly, it's like comparing apples to oranges). I haven't had a clawfoot tub since Ben's and my place in SF.

So, despite things like Mare sending me bath bombs and my efforts to create wonderful aromatherapeutic bath times for the kids, I don't often take baths. I know they're good for me, but....

I'm so glad that I did tonight. Drops of grapefruit and rose geranium essential oils (the rg is from a precious, small, brown bottle from Wendy that is about to run out) set the stage. Grapefruit is my favorite eo. Rose is First's. Kinder favors vanilla. First hung out with me while the tub filled up. The three steps going down from their bedroom into the bathroom a convenient sitting place.

When I step into a hot bath, it feels like coming home. So comforting, so enlivening. It literally forces me back into my own skin. And this, was the valuable lesson I learned. With a hot bath, I can experience at home, a respite from the noise in my head. Even the various body parts poking out of the tub didn't bother me. Nor having to roll over occasionally to get an even heat.

I need to ask Mare to send me a bath bomb because I plan on doing this again soon.

Play

Kinder has been really into K-nex. He builds cars, machines, gadgets, and structures, some from exposure to stuff from "real" life, some drawn from his imagination. He usually spends 30-60 minutes across a day playing with these.

First has been into playing store. He usually is the proprietor of a comic book store, although his wares usually include dvds and computer games, too. He takes a lot of care to create his displays and then invites me to come and buy. He enjoys figuring out change for me.

Today Kinder made a store for the first time. First often builds with K-nex, too. There is overlap.

Today, together, they did some "experiments" at the bathroom sink (a regular activity for Kinder, but not for First). Mostly this seemed to involve slathering one of their baby dolls with toothpaste, soap and Aquaphor. After they had their way with him, they gave him a bath in the tub. Incidentally, soap, toothpaste and Aquaphor may be a magical solution to a semi-clogged sink. We'll see how the sink does, but it seems to be draining quicker.

After lunch they treated me to a puppet show. It was about three old ladies rolling down a hill. Again, an elaborate set-up was involved with attention to detail and the use of toys from many different categories. I didn't understand most of it, but enjoyed it immensely. First rarely "performs" for us and he flew through his rendition of this story. He explained later that part of it was inspired by an "Over The Hedge" preview he saw somewhere (which I missed).

Then, it was onto restaurant play. They created "Nauna's" and invited me to come in for a meal. Nauna's is the name of a local pizzeria/restaurant. The debate over how to pronounce the name continued as Kinder called it "nawnas" and First called it "nanas". I had some Eggplant Mash, Strawberry Dumplings, Hot Dog Pizza and Baby Food Pizza. For dessert I had white chocolate and Fruit Punch Dumplings.

In between play I've been responding to student e-mails, paying bills online, transferring credit card balances to a new 0% APR credit card, doing laundry, feeding, cleaning, figuring out our Friday plans (I'm taking the kids into NYC to see my parents) and baking French bread for dinner.

Soon I need to help them clean up so we can be ready to play with Lukas if he's up for it after his long day at school.

Auntie Barbra

Barbra came to visit from Oakland and she was just the dose of grounding friendship that I needed.

First, life kind of paused. On Thursday we cleaned and prepared the room where Auntie Barbra would be sleeping. We had a nighttime adventure picking her up at Newark Airport (First loves to take drives at night.)

On Friday, we had a lovely oatmeal breakfast and just relaxed. In the late afternoon B and I drove out to her hometown and tripped down memory lane. Highlights for me were the bakery and the Magick Shop at the end of Main Street. And just being able to be with her for this special time. We ended with dinner at Greek Delight in Montclair, a chance stumblig upon which yielded much yummy food.

Over dinner B asked me about homeschooling. It was the catalyst for me to descend from the clattering, yet stagnated noise in my head. Over the next few days I became more and more grounded and by dinner last night, at Daikichi in Montclair (good sushi, not great), I felt l could conclude my conversation with her about how things are going and what I think. I am feeling much less rambly and more focused.

(In between, B went to Cass and Bob's for a couple of days. We had a lovely time with Cara, Ethan and Charlie on Saturday and a great family hike on Sunday. I made a to-die-for pot of soup and Erik's loaves of nisu - Finnish cardamom bread - were perfect.)

So, we're at a point where Cap and I need to sit down and map out our goals for the year. Now that I've tried out some things to establish what our days do and could look like, I need to flip over to the other side of things---where we want to end up (concretely, in terms of skills taught/learned).

Interestingly, I have the feeling that our system is going to be humming along nicely by the end of 2006/beginning of 2007. What's interesting about this is that many, many moons ago, I had proposed that we do a laid back extension of a Waldorfy Kindergarten with the kids from Sept-Dec. I felt this would give the kids and I time to acclimate to Montclair and discover who we are in this place, where we like to go, what we like to do, who we do it with. Knowing that homeschooled kids generally finish up their year's academic requirements in a much shorter time than their in-school peers, I thought we could do First's first grade work from Jan-June.

This would have given me Sept-Dec to work on and work out curriculum considerations and planning. Cap was resistant to this idea. And, at the time, I was okay with letting go. It seems like it's coming back full circle.

I read a quote on a magnet in Whole Foods today. It was an Abe Lincoln quote. I can't find it in a quick internet search. But, it reminded me of the kind of thing Dr. Li has said/would say. Don't worry, take it easy and slow. Eat three square meals, exercise, and sleep. Something along those lines. I feel like I've unhitched myself from a team of horses that served a purpose, perhaps, but for now, it's time to stable them. I'm switching course, continuing on the journey, more grounded, feeling much easier.

Kinder

Today I took the kids out around 3:00 pm. It had been a lethargic day and a gloomy one weather-wise. Both kids had low grade temps and I had canceled a playground date. But, there was a lull that felt like it could teeter into unproductive ennui and so I announced a walk to a nearby store.

We walked to Dem Two Hands, a funky boutiquey kind of place. The autumn colored leaves were in stark contrast to the greyness of the day. As we walked, Kinder expressed his desire to grab some of the leaves from the trees. He wished that he could climb up into a tree or somehow just get some in his hands. I didn't quite get it yet.

The kids were patient in the store as I looked for something for Danielle. She turns forty on Friday and I wanted to see f I could find a little something. They leave Friday for a weekend in Maine and I wanted to try to give her something before they depart. Success was had---Kinder helped me make some selections.

On the walk home, we approached a stand of trees near the Rand School. The ground on one side of the sidewalk sloped up and the lowest branches of the trees on the other side of the sidewalk hung down to meet the slope. Kinder crowed out, "I can reach those leaves!", and off he went.

I realized today, in a quiet, but visceral way, how much Kinder is like me, and how much I want to return to "being" in the way that he is. We take walks nearly every day and we've been looking at trees and leaves a lot. But, it has not been enough for him to pick up leaves off the ground. He has been wanting to experience the leaves in the trees, the leaves in their original form.

As he has grown familiar with our walks and comfortable with the routine (left out onto Chestnut, left onto Midland, left onto the street whose name I still don't know, left onto Central and left onto Chestnut again---around the block, no crossing of streets), he has been walking slower and slower.

Today, I really saw him when I turned to check on him. I asked him to "catch up" less and less. I saw how absorbed he was with his experience. I saw him so clearly as his own person, with his own thoughts and his own pace.

Today he worked for a long time on a K-nex piece. He told First and me that it was Doc Ock. I wish I had taken a picture of it. I wish I had made more of a fuss over it. He has been interested in Spiderman and the villains of his world since this summer. Lisa's mom, Sara, gave the kids a book about Spiderman and he's been hooked ever since. I love that he was working out his visualization of Doc Ock using these abstract 3-D materials.

I've been worried that I haven't been paying as much attention to Kinder as I've been planning "homeschool" recently. Well, the last two days have been an interesting time of germination. I've been using the schedule I developed to help guide our rhythm in terms of household chores and meals, but a lot of the "learning" has come about more organically and spontaneously (ie. not according to the schedule).

Tonight we snuggled in the big bed for Read Aloud. Finn Family Moomintroll is our "official" read aloud book, but we also read a Donald Duck comic (First's choice) and a Backyardigans book (Kinder's choice). It was a nice way to end our day. We also decided to make pacakes for breakfast because the pancakes the Moomin family were eating for breakfast sounded really yummy.

Not school at home

This thought wandered into my head as I lay in the dark waiting for First to fall asleep. Not school at home.

And I took a deep out breath. I've been pushing it a bit, trying to make things school at home.

Let me just say that pushing First's bedtime to 7:30 has worked out wonderfully. Now each boy gets some one-on-one attention while they drift off, which is nice for them, and for us. While one of us is in with Kinder, First has been hanging out on the couch in the livingroom reading his comics. (We are pretty much operating on a one parent-two kids/one parent working system most of the time.) By the time we come out to be with First, it's usually 7:20 or 7:25. We read with him for a few minutes and then he gets in bed at 7:30. By this time, he is yawning and fuzzy and quite ready for bed.

The comforters have been working out well, too. Worth the money. Whether it's snuggling in for the night or making their beds in the morning, the one layer is much easier for them to manage than the three of sheet-blanket-quilted cover.

Back to daytime.

Form Drawing has been interesting. First is particularly interested in making his own pictures/images out of the forms. So far, he's made a butterflies and a sun. For our purposes, for now, I've decided to let him. He has to follow certain rules about using only block crayons and making his forms from top to bottom and using one, fluid motion, as much as possible. But, once he's practiced the forms we're working on, I'm letting him make his pictures, even in his Main Lesson Book.

Today, after making banana muffins for snack and doing Form Drawing, we drove Cap to the Uni and from there, took a field trip. We drove back roads to Millburn, to visit the Whole Foods there. It was a nice drive. The leaves are starting their autumn change and although it wasn't a New England back roads drive in fall, it was very pretty.

We're going apple and pumpkin picking this weekend and our extended family on my side will be joining us. We're going here: http://www.peacefulvalleyorchards.com/ We've invited them over for an early dinner afterwards. I'll be making braised pork with scallions, ginger and garlic, teriyaki chicken, a salad (we'll be picking up our Purple Dragon share Saturday morning), rice, and a chocolate cake for dessert.

For the last few nights, I've been going back through our old copies of Living Without and dogearing recipes. I came across one for chocolate cake and frosting that sounds really good and chocolate chip cookies, too. I thought the family gathering was the perfect reason to bake the cake sooner than later. (They'll be my guinea pigs.) Hence, the field trip to the Whole Foods. We have a WF in town, not a five minute drive away, but it is a small one and their GF selection is correspondingly small.

I found everything I needed except for sweet rice flour. I'm going to substitute white rice flour and hope for the best.

By this afternoon I was feeling crappy. As if I had PMS again, like I did last week. Except I got my period on Sunday and so should not be feeling this way. Pre-menopausal loop-de-loop maybe? Inexplicable rage, short fuse, big yawns...Cap took the kids to the comic book store. They love going. I did a bit of Lesley work and then delved into cooking/the kitchen which is what I did just before getting my period. Whipped up a chahan (Japanese style fried rice) for dinner, re/labeled our pantry storage containers, and after dinner, mixed up and threw in the ingredients for a GF loaf in the bread machine. It's starting to smell like fresh, baked bread :-)

After a shower, I am feeling human again. Bedtime was smooth and cozy (see above :-)

Look at me, I'm all smiles!

A better day

Yesterday sucked.

But, I'm not going to get into it now. I am starting to feel like a broken record lately. Just ask my sister who unforutnately has been getting the brunt of my venting, I fear.

Last night, Cap came home around 7:30, the kids were in bed (though First came out periodically unable to fall asleep), and I was agitated, almost paralyzed. Luckily, I was able to spit out my problems. Cap is a great problem solver. His objective eye, caring soul and giving heart have helped me repeatedly over the last weeks.

This morning, I whipped up a new schedule and discussed it with the kids after our walk. I asked for their input for certain sections. I could see that, especially for First, things were clearer to him in terms of what the expectations were in terms of a rhythm that each day would have. Kinder lost interest/couldn't keep up with too much of the details.

I wish I could upload it here...maybe I can cut and paste it. Nope, it gets all wibbly AND you don't get the nice table effect. I love making tables.

Here's the gist:

• Morning Routine

• Breakfast

• House Work

• Walk

• Circle

• School Work

• Snack

• School Work

• Read Aloud

• Lunch

• Quiet Time

• School Work

• Snack

• Outdoor Play

• Quiet/Indoor Play

• Clean Up

• Dinner

• Games/Bath

• Night Routine

On Mondays and Fridays we will have regular outings with our local homeschoolers group: "gecho" (Greater Essex County homeschoolers organization).

On Mondays we will join a Fiber Arts Circle that rotates through people's homes three Mondays a month. Parents and kids can work on knitting and the such, kids can also play. One Monday a month is the gathering at the library. This was a bit of a bust last time we went. The room was crowded and pretty nosiy. The kids were soon overwhelmed and we ended up in the Children's library upstairs.

On Fridays, folks gather at a park in Montclair for outdoor play. Our Fridays have been pretty loose, but Cap and I tightened up our schedules last night which will allow me to take the kids to the park regularly.

I have definitely been noticing our lack of time with other kids. Part of it has been trying to tame the chaos, but part of it is my own shyness. So, it's time to change that. It occurred to me a few days ago that we need to meet some more kids because Kinder's birthday is in November and we need to have friends to invite!

I'm hoping that we might have a regular, weekly playdate with Owen and Lukas. Like we did with Bennett and Malachi. We'll see.

The kids chose house work tasks to assign to certain days and they helped me draw up a list of snacks and we assigned those to days too, for the morning snack. I also mapped out breakfasts for the weekdays. This was something I did last year, before we were homeschooling and it helped a lot not to have to think of what to make at a given mealtime.

During Quiet Time, I will be doing yoga, some aerobic exercise and stretching. I caught sight of myself in a picture that Dave, Jodie's boyfriend took at our house last weekend when Jay and Lily were visiting and nearly had a heart attack. It was one of those freakish angles, but oh my goodness, it was a wake up call. That and the fact that I get out of breath climbing up a flight of stairs.

I'm changing the old diet, too. It's so hard, last night when I was relating my stress to Cap, I was dying for chocolate, something sweet and stimulating. I settled for a cup of peppermint tea with honey, which ended up being great (our talking really helped, too).

I'm pushing First's bedtime back to 7:30. Kinder's will stay at 7:00 (bearing in mind that day light savings will be coming to an end in less than a month). First is ready for recognition that he is older. We had played around with shifting his bedtime while still in Sac, but it fell by the wayside. They both sleep well, but are not getting eleven hours consistently.

First is also feeling the effects of always being with Kinder. He and I talked about it before he finally fell asleep last night, tearily. He really wants his own room. I suggested we could rig a sheet to create a wall for his bottom bunk. He said Sandy had mentioned something similar. Cap and I have talked about wanting to have some one kid only time with them. We need to revisit this.

I'll end with a highlight. Yesterday, recorder time went horribly. First was resistant to trying and just wanting to blow "as hard as he could". I abandoned it and was wondering if we should drop recorder till January, whether it was a fine motor issue, whether it was a performance anxiety issue, whether I was being too unsturctured and exploratory and what he needed was more structure, etc.

Well, today, I pushed through my own doubts and we had recorder time and it went well! He was able to cover all the holes with his fingers and he was willing and motivated to try the first few notes of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". It was very sweet and fun (maybe not auditorily recognizable yet...)

Sunday night speed blog

Kitchen shut down for the night. Love that feeling.

NJ highway signage is deficient and confusing. We were turned around all sorts of ways on an outing to the Elizabeth Toys R Us Kids' World and Ikea. Kinder and First showed impressive restraint. When they didn't have enough money for what they really wanted, they opted to save their money for what they wanted. They (unfortunately) sure didn't learn that from us.

The course is going well. Read a bunch of terrific discussion posts today.

Have some general plans for the week. I'll pick a fairytale tonight, though I won't have time to memorize it, between Amazing Race at 8:00 and The Wire at 10:00.

Must put Oz season 6 on my Netflix queue. I completely forgot about it!

Judy sent me a cyber kick in the pants, much needed. Tomorrow I start yoga and stretching during Quiet Time. Also changing the old fallback diet tomorrow. After a few weeks I'm hoping to add an aerobic component.

Had painting on the schedule for tomorrow, but the Mercurius order hasn't arrived yet, so I don't have watercolor paints yet.

Did buy the Yamaha recorder for First on Friday while driving around with Jay and Lily. The Candy Apple won't work for left handed players---beware!

More Form Drawing tomorrow. And may work on fingerknitting a long jumprope. I'm planning on jumping rope during Outdoor Play tomorrow. I have my period so I don't have to worry about leaks while jumping. Sorry, that's way too much information, but..."it's my blog and I'll tell if I want to, tell if I want to, tell if I want to..."

Time for the Race!

Morning has broken

Last night the facade cracked and my tears washed away the coats of denial and stiff upper lip and brought relief. Basically, I unmasked my sadness and let myself feel it. Wise Julia says it must have been time. Wise Barbra says being in touch with my feelings is a good place to start. Las tnight, in the throes of my despair, I could hear wise Judy saying if Momma ain't happy, then ain't no one happy.

As I lay in my bed, eyes wide open at 2:00 am this morning, I vowed to reconnect with my two boys and spend the day WITH them, not around them, not on the periphery.

We were out of bed before 7:00 (should help me stick to another vow, to start going to bed at 10:00. What's the point of being a grumpy, irritable, stay-at-home, homeschooling mom? I still love me my Jon Stewart, but I need more sleep!)

One of the first things First said this morning was that he wanted to be absent from homeschool.

We stuck to the getting dressed and making beds routine. I explained that we needed to have a loose deal of agreeing to each other's requests. His request was that he get to check out the rest of the Knex toys on Amazon (we had started that a couple of days ago).

They helped sort the laundry and I got the wash going.

Breakfast of Peanut Butter Panda Puffs and soy milk.

We went on a walk. I explained that I'd heard of a bakery that baked gluten-free items sometimes. We agreed to check it out. We ran into Danielle and checked out how the kitchen renovation is coming along. We walked to the Montclair Bread Company. It's about seven blocks away from the house. We saw where the stream from Rand Park (2 blocks from our house) ends up, a much stronger stream near the bakery.

The bakery was a revelation.

http://www.thebreadcompany.com/breadco/main.htm

First chose chocolate chip cookies, Kinder chose hot cross buns, I chose leek and lentil soup. On our way home, First suggested we sit in Rand Park and eat. Which we did. On our walk home, we noticed knots in trees which had been one of the answers to one of the riddles we read out of our riddle book at the end of breakfast.

"It's between heaven and earth and is not on a tree,
In this riddle I have told you, but you can't tell me."

Once home we continued with the wash. We made our Weather Tree (from the Christopherus First Grade Curriculum). The kids played some. We ate a lunch of leftovers and the yummy leek and lentil soup.

I talked to Jay.

The kids and I went out to the backyard for some time outside. I started flipping through Roots, Shoots, Bucket and Boots and loved what I saw. First climbed what he could of the Japanese Maple and then asked for help relocating the spider with the very ong, skinny legs. Kinder sent Ginger (his stuffed animal cat) up and down the slide. The mosquitoes and their bites became a distraction.

I talked to Sandy.

The kids' comforter covers arrived. I ripped open the boxes on the porch and tossed them into the wash. Yellow for First, rose for Kinder.

The kids played some more while I made some nikujaga (a Japanese meat and potatoes dish that is so simple and out of this world).

I talked to Julia while I cooked.

Today was a day that had me coming in and out the door frequently (the washing machine is in the basement, no access through the inside of the house). Every time I left, I worked on the traditional Japanese phrases: "ittekimasu" (I'm leaving) / "itterasshai" (Go) and "tadaima" (Just got back) / "okaerinasai" (Welcome back). It never fails to delight my ears to hear them say something in Japanese.

Kinder tonight at dinner: "oh, only one piece of nikujaga this time" (after eating the one piece of meat that came in his second helping and digging around the potatoes searching for more---the correct way would have been to say one piece of "niku" (meat) but I didn't care---it was so cute).

The day felt longer, it felt way more relaxed. The kids weren't getting into tiffs. I think part of that was that they weren't being left to their own "free" play for as long as usual. I actually kissed them good morning this morning. There was more eye contact, especially from First.

What a relief.

Now they're in bed snuggled under their new back-in-the-northeast down comforters. Chatting about the comics and movies they will write.

Late afternoon saw me at the computer doing work for my online course, Cap took the kids to the comic book store in Nutley (Kinder is into The Human Torch from Fantastic Four and Spiderman. First is into Uncle Scrooge, Donald Duck's uncle). They picked up some groceries for our healing-from-surgery downstairs neighbor and then sprawled out on the livingroom couch reading today's purchases.

Cap's now at work till 11:00. I need to make some calls to coordinate whose coming over when to visit with Jay and Lily who will be here tomorrow for an overnight from Boston. Then, The Office and Grey's Anatomy.

It's a start

Sometime over the weekend I realized I would start up the "Happy Little Homeschool" on Monday (today). A small, rosy, interior light just went on and I was ready. Were my verses memorized? No. Do we have a blackboard yet? No. Did any of the scissors other than the kitchen scissors make the move to NJ with us? Don't know, but it's looking unlikely.

What was so obvious hadn't quite hit me the right way (I guess). The kids need to start. They need a sense of closure to the summer, our big summer of chaos and transition.

Yesterday I drafted a schedule, which First really wanted. He was surprised and a bit dismayed that he didn't get any Free Play until late afternoon. Well, that's first grade for you.

Here's the schedule:

• Wake Up

• Get dressed.

• Make beds.

• Breakfast.

• Brush teeth.

• Take walk (we walked to Edgemont Park for the first time---there's a pond, playground, geese, ducks and what appeared to be a cormorant-like bird, a monument to Montclair war dead, two baseball fields....).

• Circle (this was lots of fun---the highlight for me was singing a Japanese song, "Ookina taiko/chiisana taiko" [Big drum/little drum], and banging on the big and small taiko that Cap made in Sacramento.

• Form Drawing/Drawing (First began a Form Drawing block and Kinder worked on filling his whole picture with color).

• Snack (apple sauce and peanuts---First wanted to know if this would be the regular snack on Mondays, this kind of consistent "rhythm" being something which they are used to from their time in Waldorf settings).

• Wash Snack Dishes.

• Recorder/Free Play (First and I did some warm-up clapping exercises and then explored making different sounds with our recorders---Kinder had Free Play in his room).

• Read Aloud (I had wanted Cap to pick the book, so that he'd be with us in spirit, but he didn't get around to choosing one, so I ended up picking Finn Family Moomintroll on the fly).

• Make Lunch (I ended up letting them play and made lunch by myself---I gave First the option to help with lunch, but he went with Free Play :-)

• Lunch.

• Quiet Time (they were a bit wild after lunch---unusually quiet during lunch---so I had Kinder choose a book and we read on the couch---Appelmando's Dream by Patricia Polacco. Then they brought quiet toys and books into their beds for Quiet Time---this is where we are in the schedule as I type. First came out at about the 30 minute mark but has settled back after a couple of pleas to stay with me).

• Errands (library to renew some books and the craft stores for scissors, among other things :-)

• Snack.

• Craft Activity (cut leaves for Weather Tree).

• Outdoor Play (the backyard today).

• Free Play/Clean Up Toys (while I make dinner).

• Dinner.

• Bath.

• Bedtime Stories.

• Brush Teeth.

• Bedtime.

Now, for some pleasure reading time for myself. Oh, I'm distracted by the sound of the UPS truck pulling away. I think we have a package!

Oh boy

Things came to an abrupt halt today. I was making a shopping list, organizing my larger list into three smaller ones by store: the craft store, the art supply store and Target. Cap asked a question about money and things got tense. But, then, it became evident that it was time to push aside the algae and really look at ourselves in the waters of reality. And we were able to do that, which was good. Because, oh boy, money has historically been a big trigger of stress for us.

The transition and chaos of moving trumped absolute financial attention, for two months. So today, instead of going out and getting my things to continue to plan and prepare our space and activities, I took over the pile of paperwork that Cap had been working with since I left Sacramento. Reacclimated myself to our online banking site, revisited and updated my household money worksheets, and paid some bills.

So, what does one do when one feels like there is nothing "extra" to spend on something as basic as homeschooling supplies? Well, for one, I think as the next months roll by, I'll be able to figure out how to better economize (use online resources and books from the library, start a new collection of reusable items for arts and crafts, etc.) I'll also have a better idea of how much is coming in and how much is going out. Knowing the bottom line is important.

I don't know. I had my ideas of how to try to be as fiscally responsible with our move and transition. But, I wasn't able to bring Cap onto my "page". If you're in a couple, you have to work through things like this together, and come up with solutions that work for you, as a couple. But, it's so hard sometimes to deal with the outcome compared to what I feel the outcome could have been and I just wish I could do it all my way.

So, what to do with the piles of shoes without a shoe shelf? It's all I can do to not clench internally every time I walk by them....many, many times a day.

For the first time, today, I wondered if for my emotional health, I should put First in school. It is hard to continue to deflect my feelings of guilt that I haven't started "school" yet. It's actually more than that, the guilt I feel is because I am giving them so little concentated attention around learning. Between setting up the apartment (we're not done yet), starting up my online course (I always forget how much time that takes) and the fact that they are happy to play with each other and without much supervision and intervention, the three of us haven't been spending much time really together the last four weeks.

Of course, putting him in school wouldn't deal with the root of the problem, I still would not be giving him the time and attention I want to be if he was in school and I was at home. But, it would provide me with what I really need right now, which is a free babysitter! If I could have a babysitter for five days, six hours each day, I can't even imagine how much progress I would make, how much ground I could cover...

Hum

There's been a hum in my head, in my atmosphere. A busy-ness, an anticipation, a storm before the calm (I hope).

The kids have been spending all sorts of time on their own since we moved in about four (already?!) weeks ago. I've been wrapped up in getting our home somewhat settled, and getting my online course and students somewhat settled. The nuts and bolts of starting to homeschool were truly left for the last minute.

What's been nice is my lack, for the most part, of guilt, that unhelpful state of mind which can be so paralyzing.

Here's what my "To do and get" list looks like:

• wooden mop

• feather duster

• choose read aloud book

• learn songs for: dusting, mopping, washing (from the Mary Thienes-Schunemann cds)

• choose verses, songs, fingerplays for Movement and Beginning Our Day (I made my intial choices this afternoon)
Good Morning: Seasonal Treasury p. 13
Movement game: ST p. 16
Quieting verse: ST p. 15
Michael Row Your Boat Ashore: Joyful Movement p. 70
Counting verse: ST p. 21
Riddle: ST p. 20 (The kids are very into riddles and jokes right now.)
Five Little Leaves: ST p. 48
Okina taiko (Japanese song)

• sand/water tray (sand for form drawing; water for wet-on-wet painting)

• learn some jumprope chants

• sidewalk chalk

• t-shirts

• plastic sheet? cedar chips?

• non-toxic poison ivy control

• Day of the Dead (a festival I am thinking I'd like to incorporate into our yearly rhythmn)

• new mealtime blessing: ST p. 10

• learn handwork warm-up verse: Five Little Bells from JM p. 52

• recorder warm-up: clapping game from JM p. 78

• candied apples recipe: ST p. 61

• leaf banners nature craft activity from Earthways

• Festivals, Family and Food: craft ideas with found items from nature and wool

• porch sweeping verse: Autumn p. 54

• First day of fall ceremony (in lieu of the Waldorf/Celtic festival, Michaelmas)
verse
a family story telling of an act of bravery
presentation of wooden swords with a verse
song: This Little Light of Mine

• Halloween Lantern Walk @ Sunbridge College

• make a schedule to be posted/visually accessible for kids

• black board

• Sheep and Fiber festival

• apple picking (I located an organic orchard 2 hours away after too many minutes of scrolling through the New York NOFA site---my eyes are still burning)

The kids are asleep, worn out by our pizza and movie night last night with Danielle, Owen and Lukas. My kids get really ramped up and unnerved by movies. It was Toy Story. We watched about 30 minutes of it and boy were they a mess for most of the morning. So, tonight they sleep, Cap and I are about to veg out to Elf. Tomorrow, the Sheep and Fiber festival.

I'm back

I'm in a new town, in a new climate, in a new time zone. The Happy Little Homeschool will open for business on Monday. I can't wait for everything to be just right, because it ain't gonna be, anytime soon. Things are definitely good enough, though. Piles, schmiles.

I bought Donna Simmons' First Grade Curriculum for Waldorf homeschoolers. In a short time it has helped me focus my concentration and attention. Kinder has become First. He decided a couple of weeks ago he was going to do first grade, and the short and happy of it is that his clarity and will have prevailed.

I also bought Donna's Form Drawing book and we'll be starting with a two week block (unit) of making straight lines and curves. In the air, in sand, in mud, with fingers, with toes, on paper, with block crayon. We walked Baxter this afternoon (Takai and Lisa's dog who we're dogsitting for a week) and found straight lines and curves amongst the trees, signs, stream, etc.

We'll also start recorder and working with wool (which will lead up to learning how to knit). We picked out our recorders at Montclair Music the other day. Evergreen for him, apple green for me. Kinder was bummed that he wasn't getting one and then decided that I should get him an electric guitar instead. He longs to rock out.

Tomorrow, weather permitting, we will head down to the Garden State Sheep Breeders' 12th Annual Sheep and Fiber Festival. Here's a link to their website:

http://www.quintillion.com/gssb/festival/index.html

I'm hoping that we'll be able to touch some sheep, feel some raw wool, watch some spinning and maybe buy some wool that we can dye at home. This is one of the things I love about Waldorf, the emphasis on the whole. Let's look at some sheep before we start learning to knit. See where it all begins.