The downside of christmas

It's happened again.

Christmas comes and we go crazy. Less crazy than in years past, but we've lost our heads again and I've been fretting over our online banking account. We've got about $150 till next Friday. $150 for the next eight days. Dammit. The debits don't always come in in real time, so it's possible we have less. I moved $500 over from our savings to cover our tushes. That's half our savings.

I did pare down this year. I think we ordered 150 holiday cards to last year's 175. And, theoretically, we spent less on gifts this year. But, I didn't budget. I have found it undoable, to budget, since our move. I've tried, but with so little give between incoming and outgoing, and the different times that bills come in in a given month, I'm still grappling. I literally can't find the beginning point.

Then there was the anniversary. I did something that we tend to do, again less often than we used to, which is to turn a blind eye once we've decided to "go for it". I did stick to one of my new things which is to use the debit card for pretty much anything. Hence, the $150 we are reduced to.

The credit card bill came today, the "miles" one that is meant to be paid off every month. Cap's hotel charges from his CA trip were on there for $700. The reimbursement won't be coming in time for payment though. And the Radio City X-mas Spectacular charge was on there. I thought I'd put it on, earn the miles, and send them the check as soon as my mom paid me back. She paid me back and in the midst of Kinder's birthday and Thanksgiving, I didn't immediately write a check to the credit card company and now the $400+ has been absorbed by our own spending. Frack, frack, frack.

The feelings of dread, of blood running cold, of regret....it's hard not to go into lockdown. No more Christmas, no more gifts, no more celebrating, etc. Especially tonight, the longest night of the year.

But, all is not lost. Cap has money coming in from a consulting gig he did in Texas, I have the second half of my Lesley money coming in at the end of this month. Then, Cap has another check coming from other consulting work that he is just about done with. Our finances refuse to stay still.

Dare I say it? My first resolution for 2007: a household budget!