Finger in the dam

I'm treading water but getting tired.  I'm all emotion held together by being with the kids...being of the kids...I can feel my body when it complains in stiffness and twinges, but for the most part, I am liquid.  A sea of salty tears crowding out the air in my lungs, threatening to overflow.

Today was chock full of house work/home time: haircuts, bread baking, muffin making, playing with friends...by late afternoon I needed out and delegated brownie baking to Cap.  Simply breathing was painful as my heart has begun to break.

I drove downtown in search of a gift for Vanessa.  I am planning on making her a photo book to mail to her later (I want to make selections from all the photos we take...up to her departure), and am knitting her a scarf unexpectedly, but I wanted to give her something else...I wasn't sure what.

I found something pretty much just right.  I am grateful to be living in a town that promotes independent and unique and arty shops.  I am grateful to have had the time to spend with Vanessa to learn what she likes and who she is.

Back home, Cap caught my emo-hormonal-handful-self and we enjoyed our homemade sushi dinner.

Now, we're watching the Olympics coverage, I will go cut the brownies which are chilling in the fridge, and busy my hands with either the scarf or part of Ellie's birthday present (her third bday party is tomorrow afternoon...yup, three!)

Here's a quiet picture to help calm my so unquiet nerves.  That baggie down there contains hair that Gem wanted me to save so he could make a moustache.  :-)