Life is a pretty sweet fruit...

The Season 2 premiere of Star Wars The Clone Wars, hanging with good friends, yummy snacks...

(the title of this post is a Kids in the Hall reference :-)

Library

I love our library. This year, our library joined a consortium of dozens of other libraries and now it is super easy to borrow just about anything that tickles my fancy (books, cds, dvds, even items hot off the press). I have become a bit of a known entity at the circulation desk because there's always something waiting for me up there, ready to be picked up.

Cap is on the board of the library. Which seems impossible until I remember that we are no longer 25 and that he has a professional life and presence that extends to things like the larger community. This weekend, the library is putting on a fund raising event called The Little Read. Cap will be reading two books tomorrow up by Watchung train station.

The Little Read was kicked off this morning at the main branch of the library by my biggest celebrity in town: Stephen Colbert. He was down-to-earth and funny and read one of my favorites: The Story of Ferdinand.

Here are my shots from this morning. Our play date was canceled so we're home. Keeping us busy: Qigong, The Indiana Jones Ultimate Guide (scored at the library...sweet!), the DS, and chores and more chores.

Oh, and go here to see why Stephen Colbert will forever be my hero.

Quiet early morning alone

Cap and I have been sleeping out in the living room because our mattress liner is now residing in the dryer for its third day in a row. Personally, I like changing things up like that and have enjoyed sleeping in the pull-out bed.

When I woke at 6:30am, though, I realized that going to the computer, or practicing Qigong with the cd, were not possible without potentially waking the husband. So, I wandered into the kitchen.

It was lovely. An uninterrupted 90 minutes. I put away the clean dishes, utensils, pots and pans. I sautéed and braised eggplant (from Plympton), green pepper (from the farm), mushroom, scallion and garlic. I sautéed and steamed Swiss chard (from the farm) with garlic and pine nuts.

I had a breakfast of Dragons: warmed mango, the chard with pine nuts, and Cold Prevention tea (a Dr. Lu formulation) with honey and two capsules of Swimming Dragon herbs ( a cleansing formula for the end of this transition into Fall).

I washed the pots and pans and now have some veggies in the fridge for later today and beyond.

I turned my thoughts to the rest of the day: blogging, Qigong, Stephen Colbert at the library, our first playdate at Tiina's, the kids' appointment with Vinny, Youth Swim (which I think we're going to forego...Gem says he'd like some time to relax at home later), and Lukas and Owen coming over for dinner and the season premiere of Star Wars The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network.

These are some apples and pears from our fruit share this week. I will bring these with us to Tiina's. Along with some meatballs I made last night.

Addendum

Ha ha! Labeling the previous post "travel" just put it ahead of "sewing".

The new label "cloud"

It's not the cloud I wish it was...more of a label "block". I just noticed the tiny little "travel" at the very end. Sigh. There was a time when that word figured much larger in my life than it does now.

Some day...some day.

Focus

I've been kind of ignoring these beauties since Tuesday. They came home with our CSA share. But, tonight, as I was putting the kitchen in order while the kids ate a little something, I came across them again and I had to stop.

I mean, look at them. They are gorgeous!

Well, I have never cooked with, or used, a fresh hot pepper before. This will require some research. And care. Continued focus. And attention. Tonight, I collected them from the counter where they've been hanging out by the toaster and electric kettle, and placed them in a bowl.

What will become of you, peppers, the future is unclear. (Any suggestions will be heard with an eager ear. :-)

Streaming

I am a leaf, or a pebble, being buffeted about. Stopping here and there, but then being picked up by the breeze, the current, and moving along. Generally in a direction that is known, but the stops along the way are mysteries until suddenly there they are looming in my face. It is disquieting. But, held in balance by quiet.

I now have a running list of things I want to write about. But, am not finding the time to sit down and write. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, here is what's streaming by and through me.

Zucchini, walnuts and garlic sautéed in safflower oil with salt. Adapted from the Dragon's Way book. Very delicious.

These red slippers...I love having my day/night studded with moments of simply seeing them and enjoying them.

Floater Day: the quick synopsis. A couple of months ago, Sag spotted Labor Day in September on the Ugly Dolls calendar (a very funny calendar). He thought it said "Lotor Day" and then he thought "Floater Day". And that he thought was hilarious. (A "floater" for those of you who have blessedly been in the dark thus far, is a poop that you come upon left in the toilet because it survived the flush. I think it does also need to be floating, though I should not be quoted on the technicality of that.)

So, he designated September 30 as Floater Day and concocted a special menu of the day: lemonade and breakfast sausage. Cap surprised them with a special Floater Day dessert (shown above): floater shaped peanut butter cookies.

That was Floater Day. I'm not sure if it will be expanded to include other celebratory activity next year...or if we will even be observing it. Time will tell.

Gem has declared peanut butter cookies are his favorite cookie.

Andrea (who lives upstairs) made these fantastic Day of the Dead masks and gave the kids their own. Here they're being Cemetery Warriors from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with their blow guns. Watch out!

This morning I spent some time in my local Social Security office. Waited 70 minutes and was helped in 15. I've been ensnared in some silly strands of bureaucratic bullshit that appear to have arisen out of other people's mistakes.

I bought some bread at Montclair Baking Company (one of the things I truly love about this town...which is a reflection of a greater beauty that exists here) and brought it over to Silke and Roger's. They were all back from Germany safe and sound. We hung out for awhile, but I had to come back and tag team with Cap so he could go play basketball.

I made a nice soup this afternoon. Scallion, garlic, ginger, fennel, carrot and zucchini. With homemade chicken stock, some water and a veggie bouillon cube. It got really caramel-ly because Andrea and I ended up talking for almost an hour when Sag knocked on her door to see how he could get some holes made in his mask so he can put a strap of some sort on it to keep it on his face. Quite a bit of the liquid cooked off, but, dang, it has an amazing texture to it now.

I'm off to make some meatballs for dinner and then to practice Qigong during the 5-7pm optimal window for practicing. It's gotten really chilly here! Holding off on turning the heat on... Hope you're having a good day/night. Peace and love.

Bliss

Back from Vinny's. Feeling good...

Taking time, making time

I'm noticing that I am not eating any slower. I have long been a "scarfer" and it's a hard habit to break. I would like to pay more attention to slowing down while I eat. Especially when I am eating less, until I adjust more wholly to eating for healing, it behooves me to take my time to eat.

I'm also noticing the challenges of eating at regular times of the day. I still don't often feel a true physical hunger. What I do sometimes feel is that hypoglycemic crashing when suddenly if you are somehow getting between me and my frantic food preparation, I will bite your head off.

Generally, I don't follow a schedule. This morning, I dove into paperwork catch up and was very productive for a couple of hours. A lot of odds and ends were taken care of. But, I had thought I was going to spend the morning cooking. So when the crash hit, I went tailspinning into the kitchen.

My mind went to the old standby. Eggs would be quick and filling and satisfying, it thought. But, my body, led by my eyes, grabbed the watermelon and put a small pan of water on the stove to boil.

Then my mind started talking: "rich foods in the morning". And I reached for the pine nuts. The delicious, so expensive pine nuts (to be fair, I know I will get much more bang for my buck eating pine nuts compared to, say, a steak or some other "expensive" food). I toasted a handful of those.

And though I still feel a hum of nervous energy beneath my skin, everything is okay. My body is insisting on healing itself and is kindly accommodating my pace and circumstances.

I am planning on practicing between 11:00 and 1:00 (a recommended time period). Off to take a shower and then drive Cap up to work. I will practice after the kids and I get back. Then we'll have our Floater Day lunch (more on Floater Day later) and I have an appointment with Vinny at 3:00. Dinner at Donna's tonight.

A day full of good stuff. Lucky girl. Truly.

Sounds like a plan

I've been feeling out of it knitting-wise. I have a number of projects languishing on needles, and even more, languishing in my mind.

There's a knitterly thing called Socktoberfest, a festival for knitting and loving on socks. I think it may be just the thing to bring some focus back to my knitting.

I have four pairs of socks promised/intended for various people including Gem and, a pair of my own on the needles since the summer. It would be good to get them "done" :-)

Happenings

The kids have been making a lot of mini-model sets lately.

Cap and the kids have resumed "table" activities with the start of Fall.


The kids are summarizing, making predictions, asking questions...their work touches on spelling, vocabulary, sentence structure, and other elements of writing.

I'm still thinking occasionally about eggs, but am not craving them anymore.

I've discovered the wonders of dipping fruit into boiling water. When you're eating for healing on the Dragon's Way, you eliminate cold foods (and drinks). Both in terms of the food's essence (according to TCM foods either have a cooling or warming essence), as well as, temperature and raw vs. cooked.

Yesterday I gave some cut up watermelon a hot water bath and was amazed at the change in flavor. There is so much flavor, but also, the experience somehow goes deeper. It feels so undeniably right. (Yes, you do lose some of the nutrient value of the foods by cooking them, if even briefly. However, for the purposes of acquiring qi and storing into your bank, any cool/cold essence/temperature will slow down the process.)

I had some more watermelon today and found myself tuning in to the color, and somehow the flavor, in a multi-sensory way. I felt like I was tapping into an old memory from another life. A rose colored silk couch...Victorian... Kind of crazy, even for someone as oral as I am. But, fun and opening, in a wonderful way.

I decided to warm my mango for lunch. As I was peeling it, I was immediately drawn to the color. In the organ system schematic we went over in class last night, the colors associated with each organ system was noted. Mango would probably fall under "yellow", which is "spleen" (mother/primary) and "stomach" (child/secondary).

Heh, heh, I just checked and the associated emotional activity for spleen is "overthinking". I feel as though I am coming out from a period of heavy overthinking. The environmental factor for the spleen is "dampness". I have definitely been feeling this.

On days like yesterday, when rain is coming or present, I can get achey in and around my joints and I felt that big time yesterday. My internal dampness reared up this weekend when my cat allergy flared up. I have extra mucous just waiting to go over the edge.

I am starting to pee a lot. Again, an indication of the extra water in my body. Practicing Qigong and eating for healing is releasing the excess water.

Hmm. The skin of the mango is green, though, which is the color associated with the liver which is the mother of all organs for those of us in "the West", and certainly is for me. Associated emotional activity? Anger. (In my case, way too much suppressed over years and years.)

I'm enjoying thinking about this stuff as it comes up. Looking forward to heading out to the supermarket for some scallions and bamboo shoots. And maybe some fennel.

Laughing in the shower

I figured something out while taking a shower. Or, rather, a puzzle piece fell into place. Or both. And, I laughed. It made so much sense, this piece of information. And it brought a lot of relief.

I'm sure the heat of the shower helped, as well, but the tightness and ache I'd been feeling all day in my triceps/deltoids has loosened. Now it hurts if I press where the tightness had been, but the area is much looser.

Now I wonder what will transpire for the tightness in my right hip to loosen up...

Basically, I was able to step back and see how I could apply the TCM principle of craving to my own emotional cravings of the last 6 months, year, last 6 years, etc. I am beginning to see benefits to identifying emotional, as opposed to, food cravings.

Even as I would indulge my food cravings (which made me feel "good"), there was a part of me that thought of this as "bad". As I begin to rethink cravings, whether it's for food or the desire for some sort of emotional fulfillment, it's critical that I move away from this kind of good/bad dichotomy.

A craving is real. It is communication. And, if it can be authentically met and responded to, at its root, balance will be achieved and flow will resume. If it is tended to superficially because the true message is not received, it will return. Our bodies, our organ systems are amazing. They will not give up on themselves, they will not give up on us.

Doing Dragon's Way, practicing Qigong and building up my qi, I am tapping into clarity that lights my way.

P.S. I just had some yummy food. I sautéed garlic from the farm with ginger, scallion and red onion, in olive oil. Added a toss of salt. Then I peeled and sliced an eggplant from Plympton into 1/2 inch rectangle-y pieces. Threw them into the pot. Chopped a tray of "gourmet" mixed mushrooms and tossed those in. Once every thing had spent some time together warming up, I added some water (about an inch?) and some drizzles of Bragg's. I covered it and let it braise for 10 minutes. It was delish.

P.P.S. Thanks for being a Dragon's Way lighthouse, Kelly.

Vulnerable

I've been feeling vulnerable the last couple of days. Trying not to hate feeling this way. Trying to be with it and keep moving.

Two people I love hate each other right now. It has been increasingly hard for me to deal with this. I have experienced a helplessness that is uncomfortable. And guilt. The weekend brought some of this to the forefront.

Then I ended up going off the rails with someone I love. Which never feels good. And left me feeling insecure. The feelings of insecurity really harken back to adolescence. Which kind of sucks, but I suppose can simply be taken as communication from my body/mind as I go a bit deeper with Dragon's Way.

I really wanted to eat eggs this morning. An old standby: poached eggs on toast with mayo. I started resisting at first, but then changed my mind set. Encouraged my mind to translate the urge a different way. My body and mind wanted comfort.

Deeper than giving myself a meal of poached eggs I saw there were other gifts and responses. So I toasted some walnuts. Dipped some watermelon into boiling water to take the cold off. Then poached some apples and pears. Next will be sautéeing eggplant (from Plympton) and mushrooms with some garlic, scallion, ginger and Bragg's.

It's not over. My uncomfortable feelings are jumping and crawling about right under my skin. But, I have things to do while I work towards transformation.

A weekend in pictures

Preparing food while the Y chromosomers sleep.

The acorns this year have stripes. I wonder why.

Colors are changing.

Hatching a plan.



The George Washington Bridge, upper deck. (Gem's preferred way of crossing.)

Sag communing with the wind.

Karen's.



Morning play.

A bulldozer of a cake. The perfect way to top off my "last (farewell) meal". Butter cream frosting, Mummu's spinach dip (it tastes best when made by her hands), and Jay's grown up mac and cheese with broccoli, tomato and bread crumbs.



Um, look at the color of Evie's hydrangeas. Never seen anything like that. Wow.

Back on monday

Bye.

DW observations

So far today...

• I ran to get something from one room to another. Not because I was in a rush, but because my body felt like it. It felt good (and shocked me :-)

• I had a few bites of the oatmeal leftover from Gem's breakfast. It tasted preternaturally sweet (brown sugar and maple syrup). My taste buds are recalibrating fast.

• "I can take care of myself." I spoke these words to Jay in response to her concern about my food needs at Theo's celebration Sunday. As soon as I spoke them I was infused with power. I felt a quiet, profound confidence. In myself, and in the Universe. This is qi.

My new socks. And my homework. Six chapters by Monday.