Plummet

The hormonal emo-PMS started sometime during common meal. I made good food, bathed happily in my friends' proclamations of satisfaction and gratitude, but could feel myself slipping into a quiet place. A familiar cocoon.

It's been a busy few days of doing, doing, doing, fueled by a burst of energy and of necessity. (update: Cap had a friend bolt cut his cast off two nights ago and he has an appointment with a second ortho doc next week. He's been in e-mail contact with our trusted family doc who has been advising him---before and after the fact of his journey as the case may be---along the way.)

By the time I'm done cleaning and shutting down the kitchen for the night and then scrolling through my Reader items, it's approaching 10pm and I'm too tired to help the kids with showers, but will the energy to give them massages. (Sag's lasts only a couple of minutes as he finds them very giggle-inducing.)

By the time I've tucked them in, blessings recited for all (Sag has some stuffed animal 'bros' who each get one, too), it's almost 11pm.

Last night, by this point, my blood was beginning to do the hormonal boil. My patience was flatlined and I hated the way I sounded. I went in to apologize and was forgiven on the spot.

A kernel of remembrance brought me back to the computer (the previous night I was surprised at the dip in our balance) and I logged onto my bank account. And there I saw it: someone(s) else has been busy, too. Using my hacked debit card number to help themselves to cash.

Anger, anxiety, a sense of invasion and hopelessness. (I feel exposed and brought into violent community against my will. And I know this is nothing compared to what millions of other souls experience day-to-day in terms of being 'brought into violent community against their wills'. This strikes horror in my heart.)

(Our bank has shown itself to be equipped to handle this type of situation seemingly efficiently, so far. The amounts should be credited back by the beginning of next week pending our faxing them back an affidavit which they have already e-mailed me a pdf of. $700. Scary.)

An episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia helped last night. It smoothed out the frazzle enough that I could fall asleep sometime past 1am.

This morning there were some more charges that hadn't yet posted last night. Felt like another blow to this psyche made tender by hormones. It should all be over soon. The account number has been flagged as stolen, a new number has been generated, life goes on. I wonder how much money banks lose over this kind of thing every year? I know they still make plenty of profit. It's all kind of messed up.

Woke to the sound of rain hitting air conditioner metal.

This morning the kids are watching a Harry Potter movie they picked up at the library yesterday. I'm heading into the kitchen to roast a chicken and put away the (clean) accoutrement of common meal. This afternoon, a play date at Tiina's. Tonight a planned phone date with a beloved friend.

Peace to you today.