I enjoyed a talk with one of my local mama friends while our kids played this afternoon. She said something interesting which totally hooked into something I've been thinking about (a complete coincidence).
She made the observation that her husband, because he is overweight, has stopped seeing himself. The implication was that he is not happy about his weight, and therefore his appearance, and so his brain has brought down the shutters. Out of sight, out of mind.
A couple of weeks ago, while Barbra and I were staying at my mom's in the city, I was stopped in my tracks, in total shock mind you, when I happened to see my mostly undressed body in a full length mirror.
My reality and my reactions, when it comes to my weight and how I look, are a tangle of ideas, thoughts, and feelings. Not clear, not linear, not consistent. Lately, there's a healthy dose of facing aging thrown in there, too.
I don't want to parse all that right now.
But, it did occur to me, as the echo of my friend's words faded away in my mind: maybe some of us don't see in the same way to start with and that is how they "let themselves go" in ways that they didn't choose.
5 comments:
I also think that if you feel bad about your body then you want to feel good - and hey, eating feels good!
I'm on day 2 of my calorie count diet-ish. I never diet hardcore but I think my age and slowed metabolism are catching up with me so I have to start reigning things in.
I plan to do a little bit now so I don't have to close my shutters later.
Hey - I just noticed you had When You Reach Me in your bookroll. I just finished that. I have to admit I was drawn to it by the cover art - but I really enjoyed the story.
I liked it, too. Your comment is timely, I was thinking of bagging the books and movies rolls bc I wasn't sure anyone was looking at them and it's just one more thing I need to stay on top of...
Julie, you've always impressed me with your ability to not only rein yourself in, but to 'see' it early and make a plan that works for you. :-)
Ahhh..aging! I am reminded of Joni Mitchell's song, "Songs to Aging Children"
'Songs to aging children come,
Aging children, I am one" (1969)
How to be an aging child in a more-than-middle age body? I have always attended to my body, with food, exercise, careful/mindful eating, but the body changes no matter what...
And I guess I thought I'd always be young...so it comes as a surprise and disappointment to look in the mirror and see my old-lady face...but there's no stopping it and I am trying to enjoy it while I can. But I do find it hard to be at peace with it.
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