Mood: restless

I've been restless lately. So have the kids, especially, Gem.

I read this over at Karina's painting blog this morning (as opposed to her GF cooking one---she's aka Gluten-Free Goddess) and it helped. The times of low rumbles and grumbles that distract from our personal horizons can be deadening to the senses.

Actually for me it's been deadening to the balance of my senses. I've been staying up late and then having insomnia. I've been craving dairy and eating cheese and ice cream sundaes. I've not been doing qi gong every day.

I think some of this can be chalked up to change of season. I am sensitive to these times and it would not be surprising that one of my kids would be, too.

But, some of it is development. The kids are changing (Gem just turned 8 which feels like a milestone age), they have both had growth spurts in the last month (those stretching bones, tendons and muscle!), and there's cognitive dissonance for me as I think about scrambling to adjust, resist it, then surrender to it.

For Cap, there's a big shift in the schedule of his time which comes with summer and requires adjustment. He's juggling that with the changes that the rest of the family is going through and it's not easy.

It feels like there's groaning and screeching deep, deep, underneath. Like moving tectonic plates. Slow, unseen, but undeniable. Well, faster than tectonic plates, but the rest fits.

I feel like I have been holding my breath a bit amidst this chaos. I long to breathe out. To push some of this stuff away, to create some space, to step off the ledge (away from the edge), to collapse onto my back, gaze up at the sky, and breathe.