First day of christmas*

* what Cap called yesterday, quite appropriately.

#1: My sister and brother-in-law's very sweet tree.  Their cat, Girl, was underneath for awhile (rather than in a cupboard and under the bed covers, her usual spots when people come over.)

#2, 3, 4: My auntie M sent the kids Nano Blocks from Japan via my cousin M.  This is my aunt who is my gift-giving idol.

#5: Snow.

#6: The kids set up their Wii this morning.  The sounds of an Indiana Jones game trills and thumps in my background as I type.  They are very excited and happy.

Holiday cheer

By the time this is posting, we will be celebrating the Season with my side of the family.  We will have gone over two rivers and through an island :-)  We will be driving home in snow as a nor'easter bears down on the region.

We are doing a secret Santa for the grown ups.  I drew my 20 years younger-than-me cousin, M.  After some deliberation, I decided to give her a gift card to Anthropologie.  I've only been in the store once or twice and thought they had some fun, interesting stuff.  Nice clothes, but way too pricey (and 'skinny') for me.

My cousin is naturally hipper than I, simply by being her age, but she is also an artist and has a strong eye for design, so I think she will appreciate the store (if she doesn't already).

Above, I am holding the "envelope" for the gift card.  I love that this store retains creativity and whimsy in the smallest of details.  The "teeth" of the creature are the edge of the note card which has the "to" and "from" info on it.  Cute!

Present(ation)

More from the North

Candied pecans are back in the house

The recipe can be found here.  A simple seasonal sweet.

Orange snickerdoodles are next on my agenda.  Then sweet potato biscuits.  Tomorrow we celebrate with my side of the family.  Food, fun and family time.

New song from old fave

The library messed up and sent Cap home with Norah Jones' new cd rather than the cd I had requested months ago and have been waiting oh-so-patiently for. Serendipity. I really dig this song from Norah's new album. Providing some warmth during these cold days!

Scooting in the park

The day was fleeing fast.  We went out to the park as a foursome.  A rare treat.  Sag loved riding his new scooter.  Gem is quite comfortable on his and glides around like he owns the place.  The air turned from chilly to frigid and it was dark by the time we piled into the car.

Alicia and Stephen

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down
www.colbertnation.com
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It's all nordic

Loney Dear, Ólafur Arnalds, and now, Sigur Rós.


The music I've really been digging lately is from Sweden and Iceland.  Interesting.  Analysis welcome :-)

Wordless Wednesday

I can't get enough

Waiting for the bread to cool at 11pm.  I've been making this bread nearly every day since last Monday when I turned out the first loaf from the bread machine.  Yesterday I mixed up a big batch of the flour blend to have on hand because I will be making this nearly every day, perhaps until I draw my last breath.

It's that good.  You know what's even better than the bread?  The utter joy of Sag's whole being when he eats the bread.  He LOVES it.  He has proclaimed it the greatest bread ever.  He keeps saying, "and we know how to make it so we can have it whenever we want".  There's something so pure and sweet about that statement...the solidness of the belief and purpose behind the words.

What you may not understand is this: when you've been eating bread that comes into your house frozen, from a factory (a relatively small operation, but still, mass produced), biting into and chewing soft bread with loads of flavor and a sweet, yeasty aroma...it's like coming home.  It's like walking into paradise.  It's like tumbling into an awesome embrace.

(Julie, I'm sorry!  I will try to shut about the bread now.  This late night loaf has caught me in a weak moment.  Please forgive me my rhapsodizing.)

Wild Geese, the poem

Thank you Elizabeth. I so needed this right now.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

---Mary Oliver

Dollhouse

I started watching Dollhouse with some trepidation (it is marketed for its sex and violence...yawn), but as a big fan of Joss Whedon's went with it. It has proven itself to be a really good show. The story has grown in depth and nuance and rewards regular viewers by building as it goes. It's cast well (and thrillingly for fans of the Whedonverse :-), the writing is solid, and as the series approaches its finale in January, the suspense, action, and angst are in full crescendo.

Check it out on Hulu (they have the Season 1 recap and the last five episodes of Season 2 on there), rent Season One, watch the final episodes on Fox, and enjoy!

Oh, and it's got a kickass theme song :-)

'Tis the season

Lights, branches, stars, colds...reminding us out of the mundane.  Nudging us out of complacency.

Off to Vermont today to commune with our "cousins"/godkids.  And, Moonie, the cat.  And, A and N, the grown ups.  And the new house!

P.S.  The kids hung the lights themselves this year.  Photo #6: "the stockings were hung with the utmost of care...on the light saber"  :-)

Baby S is here!

ETA: This baby is not my friend's baby :-)

My dear friends M, N and my birthday mate, big sister, S, have welcomed baby S into their midst. He was born last Monday and everyone is doing well :-) Wish I could teleport to Berkeley to give the little guy a big snuggle...

One of the balls

...I could take that title in a number of directions...  But, what I am talking about is the growing feeling lately, that I am juggling a lot of balls.

Normally, I don't like to juggle.  I decided years ago that multi-tasking is not for me and I have been a happier person for it.  But, these are not usual times.  Despite my natural inclination to not pay attention to it, Christmas comes, jamming right up against Winter Solstice when all I want to do is curl up on the couch and read or knit or watch tv or cry.

Dealing with the atmospheric aspects of Solstice have been easier this year.  I am more in balance (I have more Qi) and so my sensitivities and responses have smoothed out somewhat.  So instead of feeling depressed, nestling my head into the sand, and riding the roller coaster of wallowing in low energy/experiencing extreme stress, I have been focusing clearly on, and placing as high priority, functional and meaningful activity.

Ah, but there is so much.  And toss in the seasonal stuff, and you have so much+more.

The ball I want to write about at the moment, is money.

I promised my dad I would input expenses every day this month.  I tried picking a time to keep firm every day, but with our non-schedule kind of schedule, that has not worked.  Though, I picked a time in the time evening.  And I've been thinking I should pick a time in the morning.  Because my day and my time is at its clearest in the morning.  (For example, I told myself to finally just practice Qigong in the morning, and I did this morning, and it's the first time I did a full practice in a long time.)

So, tomorrow, I will do money work first thing.  Back-to-back with Qigong.

I've done money work a few times this month.  So I have done more than I ever have before.  But, it's not where I want it ot be yet.

Money is on my mind for another reason.  We usually spend quite a bit of it this time of year.  It's emotional spending and so...dangerous.  In talking with Cap I know I'm bringing up the right questions, but I have not had the courage to make ultimate hard choices.

Next year will be different.  There is a budget going into place for the first time ever...well, for the first time in a long time and I am highly motivated to push through with it come hell or high water.  Becoming financially responsible, as well as, financially literate, are really important practices that I want to embody for myself and for my children.  If they can learn, and they can not be like Cap and I were in our 20s and 30s, and still are in our 40s, in this regard, that would be a hugely good thing.

New Year's cards?  Not sure they're happening this year.  Extravagant gifts for the kids?  Pretty sure they are.  (They still believe in Santa...but I think this may be the last Christmas for that.)

Cancer Vixen

Graphic novels are my speed this Fall.  I can't seem to read anything else to completion.  (I had Barbra Kingsolver's The Lacuna from the library for 2 weeks and couldn't get past chapter 2.  And I love Barbara Kingsolver.)

Except Sports Illustrated articles.  Some of which are quite informative and entertaining.  Like this, this and this, all written by Selena Roberts.  And read you know where...captive audience, that sort of thing.

But, I digress.

The good news is that there are enough great graphic novels out there to keep a part-time, yet highly selective, reader like me satisfied.  And, for me, that I have a access to a fantastic online library system which allows me to search for titles (from a huge array of library systems), request them immediately or store them in a 'bookbag' for future borrowing, and pick them up at my local branch when I receive an e-mail alerting me of their arrival.

I read about Cancer Vixen in this NPR piece that highlights three graphic novels that don't involve "superpowers, fantasy worlds, horror, sci-fi or armed combat" :-)

If you may be interested in catching a glimpse into the life of a 43 year old New Yorker/cartoonist/fashionista as she discovers she has cancer and how her life proceeds from there through surgery, chemo, radiation, life with family (especially "(S)mother" :-), and love with her fiancé-husband, all without requiring gobs of time or attention span, then this book is for you.

The art is colorful, playful and smart.  Marisa's got a clear voice and I found her story interesting.

The other graphic novels I've read this Fall: La Perdida, American Widow, Stitches, Rose, and some of the Bone series (pulled down from the kids' bookshelves).

Edith Wharton's words

"...interested in big things, happy in small ways."

Love that. That's me.

Thanks Expanding Life.

Another song

I was saying to V on Wednesday that I could not keep everything on my plate. I am trying to stay focused on meaningful, functional activity, and, well, there's just too much to do. So something is always being jostled off, and lately, it's been blogging.

So, another song.

A story: I am one of those people who steal music by borrowing cds from the library and uploading them into my computer. Gem recently put 2+2 together and is mostly fascinated and a smidge disgusted.

She and Him songs have intrigued me, but honestly, didn't hold up for me as single songs I'd listen to on YouTube. I got the cd from the library and listened to in toto, they do come together nicely. They resonate when layered.

A sunny ditty for you on this dark dark late afternoon...

Always music

Music as meditation...brings me back...

• from bitter cold seeping in through layers of woven fibers and cracks in the structure

• from a wind that blows about and through upon which I would ride and coast and leave

• from the series of moments which comprise my days...a wobbly tower of disorganized blocks...threaded with as much joy and peace as possible

• from my nights of strange dreams punctuated by blinkings wide awake

• from a necessary but not preferred head-down position as I burrow through the "to do" list

• from learning this morning that Lego curtailed production on their over $50 sets for the holiday season and everything in that range is sold out...heard from a reliable source, I hadn't even hit the Lego store yet...

• from the carb-y daze of eating more rice and pasta lately

• from living out at the edges, running (well, okay, this is me we're talking about so jogging) along the edges, herding, containing

Pausing and listening...taking a brief breath...before I get pulled out again.