I do not fear death

A wonderful essay on dying by Roger Ebert, who passed away.

Whole30 food : : 26

I was down at the lab before 8am and had my fasting blood draw about 45 minutes later.  

From there it was on to the farmer's market for the best eggs, pastured beef and lamb, local corn for the menfolk, new pickles for Gem and me, local sheep cheeses for Sag (when I was handed a sample I hadn't asked for, I took it...and knew cheese will be coming back post-Whole30), and garlic stuffed olives...just for me.

The boys came down to help me with the bags and then settled into today's Pokemon episode.  Cap roused himself and I suggested breakfast out.  I was ravenous and unwilling to cook.  

We went to Toast.  I had a good cup of coffee (although the air conditioning in out section was on the fritz and I kind of wished I'd ordered an iced coffee).  I also had half a plate of corned beef hash with scrambled eggs.  I forgot to ask for it without the potatoes (if it was even possible).  I also ordered a side of sweet potato fries because they are gluten-free and vegan there and I really wanted Gem to try them.

It was interesting to be out for a meal after making the observations I had just yesterday.  More than anything, it was convenient, and nice, to be able to get out of the apartment, drive a few minutes and sit down to a meal together at an establishment that understands gluten-free.  Over half the food/drink we consumed was stuff we don't make at home (corned beef hash, home fries, deep fried sweet potato fries, milk shake, regular coffee).  We played a word game while we waited for our food (it is actually quite rare for the four of us to sit around a table for a meal together).

The bill came to just over $60 including the tip.  Was it worth that?  I guess that's one of the key questions for someone like me trying to wrangle a household budget that keeps teetering on the wrong side of balanced.

Another good thing that came out of going out: an opportunity for Sag and I to deconstruct and process his experience of "zealous" ordering and eating*.  He and I retired to the car early because he was feeling unwell after finishing his brunch of a milkshake and corned beef hash with scrambled eggs (he and I ordered the same thing, he ate just about his whole platter).  It was one of those incredibly awesome conversations full of clarity and enlightenment.

(he was very specific about setting up this shot.)

(*This morning's meal came after a night which included a thwarted attempt to see Ice Age 4 on opening night and going out for frozen yogurt instead.  Followed by intense emotional processing of how much it sucks to age and die.  "I've already lived 10 years...I only have 90 years left."  [This followed by ever pragmatic yet unhelpful older brother commenting, voice suspended in darkness, "90 years if you're lucky".]  The levity is not meant to take anything away from his experience.  He was very upset and fearful in the face of that yawning precipice of deep, dark night/nothingness.  I am sorry to say that a video I watched and he watched over my shoulder was a catalyst for his angst.  He, like his father, has a thing about fires burning down the house.)

I am feeling more energy today.  I'm curious to see what the blood work shows.  It seems like there may be a connection between my cycle and the lifting of the strong fatigue.  Maybe there is also a connection with the Whole30 being thrown in there, too.  If I remember correctly, this fatigue started before the Whole30...  For now, I will enjoy the return of some energy, wait to see what the blood work shows (thyroid issues?  low vitamin D?), and balance adding back in activity with resting.

Peace and love.

P.S.  The sweet potato fries...left a coated feeling on my tongue which I did not like.  I only had a few and felt like the baked "fries" we eat at home are way more flavorful and nourishing.

P.P.S.  The offending video (he likes the music part of the song, just not certain lyrics and the video).