The experience of exhaling cannot, of course, exist without the inhales. The gathering in and processing, the sitting with and holding, the digesting.
For me, being outside is an exhale. Practicing Qigong is an exhale. Photography is an exhale.
On Saturday, over a rare dinner out with Cap, I voiced, among other things, that I had begun thinking again of converting the space adjacent to my side of the bed to a more personally intentional space. One in which I could practice Qigong, maybe some yoga...my "room of one's own".
The timing was lucky. Cap is done with classes. Another exhale. (Don't get me wrong, he is still busy as all get out. But when you have a dozen balls in the air and one is removed, that provides a modicum of relief, even if it's mostly mental.)
He was motivated to help me make this little vision come true. So, on Sunday, he took the kids food shopping (where they had lunch, too) and made their dinner. (I made scallops for us, yum. And, wow, expensive.)
It was a bit of a slog and it took me awhile to settle in. Going through piles of stuff...sorting...making decisions about what to keep and what to let go...being distracted by scraps of thoughts remembering other things to do...
I am not finished, but I made good progress.
One of my all-time favorite photos of the kids, a pre-kids photo of Cap I came across during the decluttering, a wonderful salt crystal light which has been broken for years (my mom bought it for me in Monterey)...hoping to replace the inner light cord soon and have it back in working order.
From the left:
• my dresser with its now cleared off top. I envision the iPad on its stand with a mediation or yoga video on. or my laptop with the Qigong music.
• that knitting bag hanging off the doorknob...I leave it out as a reminder of an unfinished project which truly does not need much more time/attention to be done...to no avail...yet.
• we have a lot of freaking bags. the hooks behind the door are laden with bags and there are more in the kids' room. I have gotten much better with shoes, but clearly, I still have a thing about bags.
• that bookshelf will likely stay. the red cube on top is something I have to return to Ikea. the two bags next to it contain hand-me-downs designated for specific households. the stuff in the shelf has not been decluttered. there are essentially two projects therein: going through dozens of picture frames, removing the pictures and (probably) getting rid of most of the frames. part of what makes this project hard to do is that there is the greater "picture" dilemma/project. I/we have no system of photo organization and it's a monstrous elephant in our hard drives.
the other project is setting up some sort of crafty storage system. I have held onto some crafting materials for the kids and have some stuff for myself (knitting, decoupage, sewing). both these projects need to be tackled...the clutter has been distilled to the point where it just needs to be transformed to become part of the new intentional space.
• the tall narrow dresser is Cap's. it will stay where it is as there is no other place for it. maybe the big taiko (drum) can be moved somewhere...it's not an eyesore, but it does command attention in a way that may not work for me once the space is fully transformed.
• another project is the coat closet. I want to get a tension rod and hang a favorite piece of painted linen in front of it. (the fabric was bought in Japan many moons ago at an art show showcasing artists with developmental disabilities.) the closet is small and we four have many coats and jackets. Cap helped me clear out the floor of the closet (that felt so good) and, at present, I have some yoga stuff in there: a bolster, a block, a (deflated) medicine ball and some mats. the shelf in the closet is jammed with boxes and boxes of photos. it's a shelf of denial.
• the few bags on the floor here are more hand-me-downs designated for family. by year's end, all of these will be dispersed and gone from my room.
• the air purifier. so squat and ugly and loved, it is used every night and sometimes during the day. there isn't another place for it in the room, really.
• this bedside table may or may not stay. I picked it up off a curb in town a few years ago. the stuff on top is, for the most part, stuff I am keeping: jewelry and essential oils. once we are past the holiday, the space occupied by hidden gifts in my dresser will open up and I anticipate all this minutiae will fit right in. I may keep the table to create an altar...seasonal and meditative. it's also nice to have a place for glasses, a book and my lip balm.
• the folding photo frame room divider. we've had this since Cambridge. the thing is solid and heavy and wonderful. we don't have the room to unfold it and use it in the apartment. we don't have anywhere to store it. so it occupies this space. another project: choose and order prints of photos to put into the frames that face out while in this position.
Just last weekend I decluttered the top of the shoe shelves as part of cleaning up for our family party for Sag's birthday.
How quickly spaces can fill up. All this stuff has a place to go, hopefully it will clear out within the week.
Peace.
2 comments:
I am impressed. Wasn't there typically a chair on that side? ~B
Yep. The chair has been moved into the front room...which works though now that room is a bit cramped.
Sag has already used the new space to practice Qigong in :-)
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