Post-storm

We are all fine and the car is fine. And, surprisingly, we have power.

The worst of it has been that a ginormous tree branch came down in the driveway. The driveway is impassable and the phone line was brought down. So for now, no landline, no Internet, no cable tv and no car.

Our landlord has more significant issues at his primary home so we are sitting tight.

I am very grateful we didn't lose power. I have been cooking, which is therapeutic.

Honestly, I am a bit of a mess. If you know me, you know how sensitive I am to low pressure systems. Well, Sandy was the mother of them, felt like, and I suffered.

By 6pm last night I was pacing. So restless and wired. I had a headache that was more pressure than pain that did not relent until this morning.

I fell into bed before anyone (we made a shelter camp in the kids' room) out of sheer adrenalized exhaustion. I half slept and half intense-dreamed the whole night as the wind continued to gust.

This morning I held it together long enough to fix the kids something to eat and communicate with the landlord and neighbors and the phone company (30 mins on hold).

Lost it mid-morning to Cap.

Could not stop the shaking inside. Like fury, clawing desperation, spiraling out and out.

Cap and the kids accommodated my meltdown. I felt much better afterward, it brought some pure relief.

They are now at Danielle's for Internet and play. I am catching up with texts, emails and tweets. I need to call my mom. She lives on the collapsed crane block and was evacuated yesterday.

I also just need to breathe. To enjoy the silence.

I am, truly, so grateful. We were very lucky. My heart goes out to those who were less lucky and who face and are facing terrible loss and recovery.

Peace and love.