Seasonal table

Yesterday, at the playground, First picked up the season's first blood red leaf. It was smudged with yellow and green and was a beaut. It passed through many hands and in the end, he plucked it from Kelly's fingers, wanting definitive ownership.

This afternoon I remembered the leaf, and inspired, announced I'd be deconstructing the summer seasonal tableau. First, who was watching the Wonder Pets Save The Three Little Pigs (quite funny), bobbed up above the top of the couch to say he wanted to create the fall table. TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) rocks. I am so grateful and moved at how much more connected he's been.

He began by placing items at each corner. Then he constructed the middle. He had other ideas and was reassured that he/we would be able to add things as the days pass and we find treasures in nature. (He was thinking about resorting to use pencils to make something because he didn't have twigs.)

The leaf, incidentally, had dried up considerably during the night and First no longer desired it.

First's first seasonal table. Enjoy.

Harvest moon

I love hearing the train blowing its horn...especially early in the morning or late at night. The trains we see here aren't as majestic as the ones we'd see in Sac, but the sounds are just as good.

I got some bodywork done by Vinny on Tuesday which was wonderful. Afterwards I felt like my body had become a giant magnet, the pressure of my weight on the table felt incredible and grounding. I wish I had been able to sleep there for an hour.

I'm at that place where I know I have to "release" dairy from my diet again. A month of traditional Chinese medicine had healed my system to a point where I could digest dairy again, but it's been too much too soon. My emotional ties to pizza and chocolate are strong!

The start of the fall tv season, with dvr for the first time ever, has brought on a lot of tv watching once the kids are in bed. I watched America's Next Top Model, drawn by the contestant with Asperger's and had my heart broken a bit last night.

I finished the first season of Deadwood and am taking a break with some movies. I have Catch and Release in the tv basket, Year of the Dog is next on my queue.

Yesterday I opted not to go into Manhattan to see Akihiko and his mom and my family. The kids were both running low grade temps. I was able to reschedule with Akihiko for Saturday. It'll be good to see him, it's been a couple of years.

Serendipity stepped in and we ended up meeting Kelly and the girls at a great playground that was new for us. It was in nearly complete shade (crucial with a day that warmed up to 85+º) and the structure was wooden and had a lot of unusual and interesting components.

I wish I had brought my camera. Kinder and Lila are like two peas in a pod, very comfortable with each other whether walking, climbing, or building a fairy forest. First spent a lot of time with Pippa (who turned one in August). I don't think he said a word to her the whole time, but he was saying a lot with his eyes, body language and proximity. It was really cool watching them in their wordless, yet very connected play.

Later in the day we went over to Danielle's. Our four kids are just crazy about Ben 10 and whenever they get together, the first few minutes are a bedlam of excited talking updating each other on the new Ben 10 goings on in their lives (new drawings, comics, toys, etc.) Their friendship preceded the Ben 10 craze, but it seems so much a part of it now that I wonder what it will look and feel like for them when the inevitable (it is inevitable, right?) decline in interest in things Ben 10 begins.

My session with Vinny helped stopped the closing in on myself that I was feeling for about a week. Kelly and Vinny both spoke of the harvest moon, it was full last night or will be tonight. Apparently it's a tough one for many to get through.

It's going to be a busy few days:

Today - Silke and kids this afternoon

Friday - Holly and Lucia (who are back from Paris for a long weekend to deal with visa stuff) and Kelly, Lila and Pippa at lunch time, drum and movement in afternoon

Saturday - lunch in the city with Akihiko and his mom, puppet show of Comet in Moominland in the afternoon, Sandy and Mike come over to baby-sit and Cap and I go to see Matt Pond PA at night

Sunday - Lucia's birthday party, family swim at the Y

In between the social engagements and voracious tv watching I'll be planning some structure for our mornings next week (home learning time), cooking and cleaning, and eagerly awaiting news of the baby we're waiting for up in Boston :-)

Up at 4:16

Kinder needed some early morning care. Arnica for his aching foot, sting stop for his mosquito bites from yesterday's "unconventional baseball" game (the Pink Scarves won the game shortened by Kinder's being bit multiple times being the only one in shorts---the usual order of skeeter preference is me, then First, then Kinder...if I'm amply exposed, they don't get touched), and the last dregs of tylenol for his feeling crappy (my word, not his :-)

I actually went to bed at 10 last night and so could not fall back asleep. My body had six hours of sleep in it and would not settle down. So after snuggling with Kinder till he fell back asleep, I got out of bed.

I checked and read e-mail, checked the weather (highs in the mid-80s today and tomorrow---huh?!?), read the local newsy blog and though I thought about getting back into bed, realized I would not fall back asleep, or probably even relax much. With three other bodies in the bed, it just wasn't going to happen...

I saw that it was 5:50 and thought if I were to go to the Y class for "morning people", I'd be leaving my house NOW to walk down to the Y. And I thought, now that's crazy. I'm hoping to start going to the Y next week. This month my Tuesday and Thursday mornings (my child-free times) have been devoted to appointments ad errands.

October is the new September in our household. I guess that's what happens when you lose August.

Black and blue

I lay in bed last night, past 11:00 pm tossing and turning. I realized I was feeling black (dark, self-annoyed) and blue (depressed). Not horribly, but enough that in the past few days I've been more out of my body and in my head than is good for me.

This morning I did some stretches as I had decided I should do as I was finally falling asleep (nothing like Kinder coming into bed at midnight asking to be snuggled to get me back in my body :-) I was shocked at how tight some parts of me were because I don't feel it during the course of a day.

Kinder just handed me his sketch of the Upgrade costume he wants me to sew him for Halloween. Sweet. To see Upgrade, go to this link, click on the drop down menu for "characters" and click on Upgrade. Plus, you'll get to hear the catchy Ben 10 theme song :-)

http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/tv_shows/ben10/index.html

Today is Fiber Arts day. First is snuffling and a bit drippy. He may not be up for it, we'll see.

Ah, I watched Stranger Than Fiction Sat night and enjoyed it (watched The Forty Year Old Virgin for the second time Fri night and loved that). It was so good to see Emma Thompson again, I love her. Both these movies, in retrospect, helped soothe these feelings I have inside of me.

As did Ainori last night. It's been on and off a local channel that carries Japanese programming, and I found it relocated to a higher-than-100 cable channel for "Asian American" tv. My mom introduced it to us a few years ago and we love it. Now that we have higher-than-100 cable, we can watch it even if we're not at her house (where, incidentally, she no longer gets it because she has bare bones cable). This site describes it much better than I can:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ainori

Consignment shop

I finally made it over to our local children's consignment shop and struck gold. I so should have gone there before trekking out to the mall where I had been utterly (and unsurprisingly) let down.

Almost done with fall/winter kid clothing gathering. I'm checking out the local Marshalls for the first time today. The Target stuff I've bought and they've worn in the last year did not hold up well. The Land's End shoes haven't either. I miss the days of having so many hand-me-downs we didn't have to buy clothes for the kids.

It was with relief and a smile that I saw Cap's first paycheck of the fall had been direct deposited into the account yesterday. After months of waiting for our tax refunds, I recently discovered that I had had them direct deposited. $700 came and went without my comprehension (frack!)---no wonder I felt like I could spend some money on myself earlier this summer (a summer nightgown, a pink and red muumuu, deluxe slippers from the Vermont Country Store).

Yes, now I'm paying closer attention to lines other than the balance when I check on our funds online.

Most honorable son

I watched this doc about a Japanese-American fighter pilot the other night and learned some things.

http://www.pbs.org/mosthonorableson/

Growing up

Sometimes growing up is hard to do.

Kinder went back to drumming and movement class yesterday after a summer away. He was resistant, cried, said he didn't want to go, that he didn't want to do any "classes". He cried at home and he cried once we were there. Once he saw Donovan arrive, a boy who was in the class last year and who is a special connection because he was in Lukas' Kindergarten class last year, he calmed down. We chatted with him and Kinder settled right in.

A number of kids, including Kinder, were invited to join in the second class. They are "tweens" now and straddle level one and two. He resisted this, too, but hung in there with my firm encouragement and enjoyed class with Kevin (the first class is led by Maya) for about 45 minutes. We ducked out early, 90 minutes of class was long for him!

Change of season, change of routines, approaching his sixth birthday, it's a lot for my second born, the one who seemingly has no filters, who feels everything so intensely and becomes one with those feelings, whether it feels good or not.

Apple cookie jar

This is my apple cookie jar. It is part of a set of apple ceramicware that Mummu (before she was Mummu :-) and Auntie Carol made for me for Christmas one year. I love this set. This afternoon I finally baked the batch of cookies Cap was unable to because of the faulty old oven (we have a brand spanking new oven which I am thrilled about). As I transferred them into the cookie jar, I felt quite blessed.

Still feels like summer

Just came in from the third game of the season. The Aliens won again---14 to 8. Our legs are itchy from mosquito bites, the backyard was in humid shade.

Vinny's body work did wonders for First. He has a sparkle in his eye and a spring in his step. He has said, "I'm happy today" out loud. My heart was flipping over and over as he hung out with me as I made meatloaf and pesto. He asked questions, helped, and we played around after he noticed that I sounded as if I were on a cooking show with how I was talking about what I was doing. I can't remember the last time he relaxed with me in the kitchen.

Kinder is having bursts of intensity (ie. crying, hitting, screaming). I think he may be fighting a cold/virus. It may be hard to believe, but he pitched a pretty big fit about not wanting to go outside about 15 minutes before this picture was taken. It was so unfair that I was forcing him to go out....

I offered oatmeal or quinoa for breakfast. They chose oatmeal. First loved it, Kinder did not.

I'm doing some laundry. I'd taken a long hiatus due to my back/shoulder issues, but with Cap not feeling well and in the midst of his late nights at work (Wed and Thu), and, being on call to go up to Boston this weekend if the baby comes, I figured better to get it out of the way. The load felt pretty heavy going downstairs. I'm going to have to bring it up in waves.

Still haven't gotten to what I wanted to do today, go through the kids' clothes, change over summer to fall/winter, etc. Not stressed, just noticing.

A little pooped

We left Friday at 6:30 am for a long weekend in Massachusetts, returned at 10:30 pm Sunday night. It was a great few days full of time with family and, well, family, since that's what Karen, Brent and the kids are to us. I'm too pooped to blog about the details about the trip right now.

Yesterday I cleaned and did some pre-emptive cooking in the morning using the veggies from Evie and Jake's garden and then the kids and I spent the day with Anna and Lukas. Silke and Roger (their parents) joined us for dinner. It was a nice, long, full day.

I had a rare hour and a half alone this morning as I managed to slip out of bed without the kids waking. Got the dishes from the drying rack and dishwasher put away, sipped on my ginger-lemon-honey tonic tea, steamed/roasted some beets from Evie and Jake's garden with garlic, lemon and dill, and ate some oatmeal. (Brent cooked some Irish (therefore safely GF) quick oats for breakfast Sunday morning which reminded me I had bought some awhile back. They were fast and yummy, I'm looking forward to making some for the kids next time.)

I walked down to B. Avenue to get my haircut (not wild about it, an "in between" cut). On the walk home I stopped at the Y to get my pic taken and get an ID card, at the eye doc's to get my glasses adjusted, and at Danielle's, who wasn't home.

After lunch the kids and I drove Cap up to school and stopped at M. Park to play a game of wiffle ball (much more spacious than our yard). Yet another great gift from Mummu. There was someone playing their bagpipe the whole time we played, the sun was shining, the breeze alternated between balmy and cool, frolicking on a "Little House" type of hilly lawn, it was fantastic. (The Aliens, First and Kinder's team, won today's game 14-13. The Pink Scarves, my team, won yesterday's 1-0.)

Then we skedoodled over to the kids' first appointment with Dr.Vinny (Dr. Lu's assisting doc). Kinder turned into Massively Silly Boy and was relentless in his antics for the hour we were there. It was so unexpected, I was thrown for a loop. Vinny was unfazed, I kind of retreated in embarrassment and flummoxment. It didn't feel good since I couldn't really fully retreat being the only parent there.

First, after some initial trepidation, was practially drooling while getting his back massaged and worked on. Kinder could barely stay still during his treatment. He was much more into climbing on Vinny, spinning around in his chair, or, no joke, tipping the garbage can over spilling its contents onto the carpet.

When I asked him about it tonight as I lay down with him in the dark (my third attempt to talk to him about it), he said he was nervous and just couldn't stay still. But, he was not nervous about going back, which was good to hear.

After dinner, Kinder took a bath (I've begun having them alternate bath nights again so that they can stretch out in the tub and relax more) and First continued picking up (they are doing really well with this these days). They watched an episode of Blue's Room off a Netflix dvd (it still freaks me out to see Blue talk) and then we read "The Dancing Cow" chapter of Mary Poppins which was a lot of fun.

Cap's got a cold which is no fun, hopefully, his won't last as long as mine did. Hmmm...I look a bit pale in this pic. I think it may be due to the clots I dropped last night. I've been having a different (better in most ways) period this cycle with Dr. Lu's treatment. I was surprised to see the clots again, the likes of which I haven't seen since Sac.

Field trip

Ahhhh the weather has shifted and we're now in a trend of dry, sunny and a high of 70º.

The kids and I took the train into the city yesterday to spend the day with my parents. It almost didn't happen as First was reluctant to go. But, he changed his mind on his own (with some debate and conversation, but no coercion which felt really good).

I packed some lunch stuff, extra layers for all, grabbed my Metrocard and we were off. We walked up to the train station, it took 15 minutes, Kinder complaining semi-loudly for about the last 5.

Once we were on the train, the kids were delighted and commented on how they had forgotten how much fun it is to ride the train. They're still at an age where most conductors don't charge me for them and I scoot them under the turnstiles in the subway. So, the total cost for transportation yesterday was $13.75.

At one point we did a little lesson on directionality as First correctly figured out which way was west, north and south after discovering we were headed east. Kinder jumped in by working on left and right and I agreed with them that although left and right aren't included in the traditional foursome of north-south-east-west, that they do often denote directions.

Once at Baba and Jiji's, I made lunch for everyone. Chicken apple sausage, sautéed peppers, steamed carrots, and slices of heirloom tomato all from our farm, challah sandwich bread that Baba picked up at her farmer's market, grilled munster cheese sandwiches for Kinder, Baba and Jiji, rice with sesame seeds and Bragg's for First, and slices of Gala apples.

After lunch the kids, Jiji and I took off for Central Park. We carefully avoided a building facade that scares Kinder (the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant) and enjoyed a walk around a pond where we saw turtles sunbathing on a rock, ducks wading about, lots of interesting grasses including some that looked like giant chives, and the grand event, a beautiful and fierce hawk that swooped over our heads in pursuit of lunch (pigeon---yuck) and landed in a tree ten feet away from where we stood.

The kids had decided that they wanted to go to the zoo, something we hadn't done in over a year. It was cash only which astounded me, but luckily I was with someone with cash :-) We watched the sea lions for a long time. I got as much of a kick watching my dad with his new digital slr camera, as I did the kids following the graceful moves of the animals in the water and the rocks.

We saw the penguins being fed, the polar bear snoozing in a cool corner of his "habitat" and were treated to unusually active red pandas assiduously marking their territories by rubbing their bottoms on spots.

The kids had a snack of ices on a park bench right outside the zoo entrance and I noticed Gwyneth Paltrow strolling by with one of her kids.

Once we got back to my parents', they showed us some of their pics from their safari which were amazing. There was something incredibly majestic and powerful about how the animals looked in the wild...or their protected wild as the case may be.

Sandy came by after work and we were all treated to sushi and other yummy Japanese fare at a restaurant owned by the family of one of my mom's tea ceremony friends. Everything was delicious, but I nearly overdid it with my unassuming plate of toro, uni and ikura. So, so rich.

The kids were droopy on the ride home, but stayed awake and Cap met us at the station when we climbed off the train at 8:30. It was our second late night in a row, but felt utterly satisfying. We walked in the door and one of the kids said, "it feels so good to be home". You know that feeling that you get after a full and wonderful and not routine day? That was it.

Odds and ends

• Jamie told me her aunt (in MA) had a cold that ended with a 3 week long cough. This was my cold. The cough has been hanging around though at this point it only rears its ugly head at night and feebly at that. There's something impressive to me about stories like this...cold bugs are so cool. Another aspect of nature, really.

• Someone messed up and my parents' trip was cut short. When they arrived to Brazil from somewhere in Africa they were denied entry into the country because they did not have visas. I think their tour company assumed they were American citizens and hence the unfortunate event. So now they are back and we will see them today, all of us babysitting Ellie, and I'm going to take the kids in to the city tomorrow to see them again (before my dad leaves for Japan on Thursday).

• I switched our dishwasher soap from liquid to powder recently. An environmental move. Well, we're having problems with the powder caking up in its little receptacle before it gets released into the machine. I'm trying to dry out the soap space completely with a tissue before putting the soap in, but it doesn't always seem to help.

• I cannot wait for this wave of humidity to pass. It's been days and it really affects me by draining my energy. Today it is supposed to rain on and off throughout the day. It is somewhat cooler, around 70º, but I long for that autumn crispness that I know will be here soon.

• Having said that, I can feel that my system is tuning up thanks to Dr.Lu's work. I am stressing less about things, I am less bloated, I feel a current of energy going through me on better days, and I am able to digest dairy better (though the 2 slices of pizza with fresh garlic at 9 o'clock last night was probably not the best choice to make...but it was damn good at the time :-)

• The oven and stove are on the fritz. The landlord came by yesterday evening to check it out and I think we may be getting a new one.

• I defrosted one of our slabs of salmon that my brother brought back from Alaska to cook for dinner tonight (at his place). It looks SO good.

• I have started using a timer to help the kids and me with cleaning up. It takes my repeating myself to them out of the picture (and my frustration) and it seems to help them by making time, and the process, more concrete, less amorphous. The continuing decluttering is helping, too, I think. Also, that they are getting older.

• The fall schedule is slowly starting to come together.

Fiber Arts will be on Mondays. The kids are still very lukewarm on this...we'll see how it goes. We missed yesterday because First had a dentist appt and then we ran a bunch of errands.

We're going to try a French class for homeschoolers through a local language school on Tuesdays with Kinder.

It looks like we'll be able to have a regular time with Silke, Anna and Lukas on Wednesdays.

On Fridays, I'm going to try to make it to the homeschool park days, but also plan on doing field trip type outings. And, Kinder has drumming and movement.

Generally, we'll do our "school" like activity in the morning and go out in the afternoons.

I discovered a woodworking class at the Y that I thought First would like, but he is reluctant, wait, who am I kidding, adamant that he doesn't want to take a class. Even knowing that Owen might be interested in taking the same class, he doesn't want to do it. I've pulled off "Carpentry For Kids" from a shelf to see if he'll pick a project from it that we can do at home.

• First's appt at the dentist went very well yesterday. Dr. M talked him down like a pro (First was like a monkey hanging onto me when we got there) and smoothly walked and talked First through the procedure of getting a cavity drilled and filled getting all the tools of the trade into his little mouth along the way. We return in a couple of weeks for the real deal. He has a cavity in a baby tooth and cavities in two molars...

• Loved The Closer. Thanks to the dvr I was able to catch up on all the eps of this season when they had a marathon a couple of weeks ago.

matt pond PA

I just got us tix to go see them later on this month. When I learned we were moving back to the east coast, I was determined to see Girlyman, Matt Pond PA and Dar Williams live. One down, one soon-to-be down and that leaves Dar.

Through any window

Here's the video I was watching....

Mortal Kombat - Ben 10 Style

I was watching a video on Jenna Fischer's mySpace page (Pam form the American version of The Office) when Kinder asked if we could search "Ben 10" on YouTube.

This is one of the videos we found.

Relaxing

A quiet moment alone for First (while Professor Kinder was hard at work in his water lab).

Water, water, everywhere

Kinder loves water. This afternoon, during a bath, he filled and emptied containers, especially the big, plastic cranapple juice one, over and over again. I could see him watching, listening, feeling, as he worked a material while partially submerged in it, as intent, curious, and completely open as, I imagine, the most bright and creative scientists to be.

Earlier today, on our hike, it was throwing rocks of various sizes and weights into the deepest part of the stream. Yesterday, it was creating "tattoos" on his t-shirt as his and Lila's stop at the water fountain in the park became less about quenching thirst, and more about quenching endless hydro-possibility.

It's important to me that he, and all kids, have the chance to pursue their interests, whatever happens to be rocking their world at the moment, as much as possible. What they are learning in each moment cannot necessarily be quantified, categorized, assessed or labeled. But, the quality of this type of learning, unrushed, self-created and utterly meaningful, is something that, if you have the chance to see it, is unmistakable in its zen-ness and its profound potential for the future.

Tattoo

It seems like not so long ago when First and Kinder used to ask me to put their baby in a sling so they could carry it around while they played.

Second saturday hikes

We went on our first "second saturday hike" today. We went solo, none of the other invited families were able to join us. It was a great way for me to slow down and get back into my body. And a nice way for us to mark, as a family, our "back to school".

It was hot and sunny, but in the deeper part of the woods, the skeets were a bit of a terror. We were eventually able to find the trail that leads to the stream that Silke and Roger had told us about.

It was quiet. We saw one chipmunk and one frog. And a lot of broken glass and garbage...certain areas we came across were clearly fun hangout and cookout spots for the less ecologically conscious.

First was in his element. He loves to climb and is especially fond of clambering onto big, big rocks. He was impressed by the exposed roots of a large overturned tree and asked for this picture to be taken.


Kinder enjoyed holding Baxter's leash. He held up pretty well with the hiking (he still does not enjoy walking for any length of time) and had opportunities to stroll at his own pace, thinking his thoughts and taking in his impressions.

Week one

This week was supposed to our first week of "back to school". Despite my unschooling leanings, there is something about being "off" for the summer and re-entering the structure of a school year that appeals to me. In fact, having the summer off is what really freed me up to unschool this summer.

This is a synopsis of what happened this week:

Tuesday

• I decided not to give the kids their "back to school" presents because First decided he wanted to start school when Owen and Lukas did, on Thursday.

• Danielle and the kids were back from Maine and so I dropped them off to play while I ran some errands: picking up my glasses and touring and joining the Y.

• After lunch, the kids and I drove up to the park with Baxter and walked the paved loop.

• I made dinner from scratch for the first time in what felt like a long time. Between my shoulder strain and then my cold, I've been serving up a lot of hot dogs lately.

• I spent some time researching something for Cap (online and by phone).

Wednesday

• After breakfast, I cooked. Made one of First's faves, carrot tofu scramble for lunch and then made chicken and green beans from the farm for dinner. I also breaded and fried some eggplant from the farm.

• After lunch the kids and I walked to the park down the street with Baxter and played. We spent a lot of time watching the small school of fish in the stream.

• The kids drew a lot.

• I finally chose a read aloud book and we read the first chapter of Mary Poppins.

• I spent time online checking into the Christopherus forum (printed two articles on festivals which are being studied right now, amongst other things) and e-mailing (happy about the burst of e-mail with Wendy).

Thursday

• I went to the dentist to get two cavities filled, had a wonderfully kid-free time in the hardware store and then dropped in on Danielle to see how her kids going back to school was.

• Fed the kids lunch and baked some banana choco chip muffins to bring over to Kelly's.

• Dropped the kids off to Kelly's and Cap and I went to his and hers acupuncturist appts.

• A quick walk around the block with Bax followed by picking up sandwiches at a local Italian place and driving Cap up to work before dinner.

When I told First he was going to the dentist on Monday morning, he asked whether that would interfere with our first day of school. I told him I'd get back to him.

I'm feeling kind of vulnerable, a bit like my skin is jumpy...no, more like it's nervy. I think it's connected to seeing the acupuncturist. Despite the feeling that I'm off balance, or perhaps because of it, I am feeling some clarity.

I need to plant my feet and take a breath.