It can (re)start with a word

Yesterday someone referred to me as "lazy".  This person wasn't trying to hurt my feelings or call me a "name".  They were speaking their truth based on observation and experience.

And, I am lazy.  It's hard not to feel stung by the negative connotations and associations that come with that word, but it is possible.  The word itself is neither bad or good. 

Yet, I did feel misunderstood.

I can better understand my lazy self through personality studies.  I tend towards being an introvert and a phlegmatic (both are personality types which are/appear "lazy" to others).  Being lazy is far from being my whole picture.  But, it (and my personality) is something I can focus some attention on in the next few weeks as I shift how I work on financial accounting, decluttering, and generally managing my household more effectively.

I found this piece via a quick Google search of lazy and misunderstood :-)  Finding a different place to work on these aspects of my life will be a challenge (I spend a lot of time within this apartment!), but it's also clear to me that it would help.  A creative puzzle, just the sort of thing my mind likes to occupy itself with...

I also found this piece which resonated because while I was having my time with the person who called me lazy, I felt at a loss for words.  I did not wish to "get into it"...to share what I was thinking or feeling.  It didn't feel possible to translate what was inside to outside.  This was infuriating to the person I was interacting with.  Did I look smug?  Arrogant?  Blank?  I'm not sure.

And the process continues.  I really liked the line in the first piece: "...I say combat because I'll probably never win the battle completely."  That's honest.  It's accepting the challenge while accepting (and loving) what and who it is causing the battle in the first place.