Gettin' the job done

Their spirit and motivation, particularly First's, is what got the tree up yesterday morning. They worked hard and it was really nice to see many of the ornaments and bathe in the memories.

Mmm rice and beans

This is courtesy of Anna who feared they were not kickass, but they totally are. I wish I had a picture. They were so good!

Rice
Basmati in the rice cooker. In the water add two garlic cloves and one cup of
chicken broth, one cup of water (for one cup o' rice). Remove cloves before
serving in order to not freak out kids. If you want to do it the Brazilian way,
you can saute the rice in a saucepan with the garlic and a bit of oil for a
couple of minutes. Then pop it in the rice cooker.

Beans
One large can of black beans. Before you put them in an iron skillet to cook,
saute 1-3 garlic cloves in a little oil. Drain the bean water and keep it. Put
the beans in the skillet. I like to mush some of them, not all. Add about one
teaspoon of cumin. Simmer until you need them, adding bean water as needed.

I did the Brazilian way and then used the same pan to cook the beans in.

I used more garlic and kept all cloves in because I knew my kids were not going try this (at least not this time...they will likely try it after seeing me eat it 20 times).

I also added some salt to the beans while they were simmering. I considered topping with cheese and am glad I didn't. It doesn't need it at all.

I did sprinkle some torn up fresh cilantro on top just before sitting down to feast.

Yum.

So easy and simple and delicious! Abrigado Anna!

Rainy home coming

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I ran a bunch of errands and then I dropped them off at Danielle's and did some more on my own. She and I shared some chocolate cheesecake when I got back over there and my soul soaked up the roasted chicken goodness of the dinner she was making.

The kids reluctantly left with me around 5:30, headed for yet another dinner of salmon rolls for First and Amy's frozen pizza for Kinder (they don't mind our equivalent of fast food---it's me that sometimes feels guilty).

As we got out of the car, Kinder stood still, looking up into the light that had flicked on due to our motion, mesmerized by the falling rain. "Äiti, Äiti, do you have your camera?" he asked.

I grabbed the camera upstairs and was only able to get this one shot before the battery out symbol started flashing (the batteries are barely keeping a charge---is two to three years about how long these batteries last?) I don't know that this captures the wonder he felt.

But, it will serve as a reminder of my wonder.

2007 cd

Completed it today in order to get one in the mail for Holly with the ornaments. Couldn't print the notes for her because we're out of ink in the printer. Here's the songlist and the accompanying notes.

Jump Around (Original Mix)/House Of Pain
Beautiful Enemy/Dar Williams
From Debris/matt pond PA
The Picture/Son Volt
Crazy/Gnarls Barkley
Phantom Limb/The Shins
Asleep On A Sunbeam/Belle and Sebastian
Building A Mystery/Sarah McLachlan
Honestly/matt pond PA
Shine On/Rani Arbo & daisy mayhem
Box of Rain/Grateful Dead
Rhode Island Is Famous for You/Erin McKeown
Locate The Pieces/matt pond PA
C'mon C'mon/The Von Bondies
Hard to Explain/The Strokes
Emblems/matt pond PA
Superior/Girlyman
The Boy Who Never Cried/Steve Earle
One Little Song/Gillian Welch
You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You/Dean Martin
Joyful Sign/Girlyman

Jump Around...this song was featured in a hilarious and unforgettable bit on an episode of My Name Is Earl involving Cap’s new gf, Catalina.

Beautiful Enemy...Dar Williams is the only act left on my must-see-live list at the moment. Bopping to lyrics including the word hegemony brings a smile to my face every time.

From Debris...mpPA has dominated my music scene this fall. Cap and I saw them live at Maxwell’s and I was baptized. Within weeks their new cd was in constant rotation and t(he)y were completely under my skin. (I love the cello.) As I was making this cd I finally realized who the beginning of this song reminded me of: Big Country!

The Picture...Cap and I saw Jay Farrar at Maxwell’s this year, too. He performed a stripped down version of this song (it was a solo set) and when I heard this version with the horns, I flipped.

Crazy...this is a song that Cap turned me on to. I love it.

Phantom Limb...The Shins didn’t do anything for me vis-a-vis Garden State, but seeing them on SNL earlier this year, did. I love that these guys are as old as I am.

Asleep On A Moonbeam...this song was on Ben’s 2006 cd. I’d always wanted to hear Belle and Sebastian and was not disappointed. Sunny, seaside driving tune.

Building A Mystery...a throwback. Not my favorite Sarah McLachlan song, but I had a blast singing karaoke to this at Julie’s house this summer during Mike’s 40th b-day party.

Honestly...my favorite song on mpPA’s new cd. It reminds me of The Queen And The Soldier by Suzanne Vega. One of the things I love about mpPA’s songs are that they are set in and reference the natural world.

Shine On...I briefly met the singer and drummer (singer's husband and fellow Wes alum) at Di and Seth’s wedding last summer. The band popped up on an e-mail from Joe’s Pub (I saw Stew’s show at The Public, their sister theater, this summer with Anna based on Barbra’s highest recommendation, which put me on the Joe's Pub e-list automatically) and I took a listen to one of the embedded songs. This one I liked the best.

Box Of Rain...this song was used in an episode of Freaks and Geeks. It gave me my first appreciation of The Dead. Jay gave me the complete series dvd of this show years ago. I plowed through them obsessively, laughing and crying, earlier this year. This year was the year of Apatow if ever there was one.

Rhode Island Is Famous For You...Jay is to thank for this one, too. She mentioned this song during the height of the kids’ interest in the states and state quarters this year. One listen will have you hooked!

Locate The Pieces...my other favorite song from Last Light, mpPA’s new cd.

C’mon C’mon...the perfect opening song to Denis Leary’s great tv show, Rescue Me.

Hard To Explain...another song that Cap turned me on to that I can’t get enough of when I’m listening to it.

Emblems...la la la da da da da la la la da da da...

Superior...this song didn’t move me until Cap and I saw them live last December for our anniversary. The show was actually underwhelming, but their performance of this song stood out. Simple and poignant storytelling with an unassuming glow.

The Boy Who Never Cried...every now and again I’ll go to the cds to pull out stuff I don’t usually listen to for a marathon cooking or cleaning session. Steve Earle is someone who inevitably ends up getting picked. I appreciate his courage and art.

One Little Song...now, Gillian Welch is not someone who inevitably gets picked. But, on one fateful afternoon this year I did pick her and discovered this song anew.

You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You...oh my god. Freaks and Geeks. James Franco. An episode that will break your heart.

Joyful Sign...I downloaded this song when their new cd came out this year. The song was a highlight when we saw them live. This Little Light Of Mine is a song that Kinder loved and I used to sing it to him every night.


And here's the cover art.

Ornaments

The kids and I made some ornaments for Lucia, Holly and Nick today. They have been making their own during their Parisian holiday season and we're doing an exchange with them.

Kinder pulled out Yoko's Paper Cranes by Rosemary Wells and tried his hand at folding a crane. He soon enlisted my help and I had to pull out an origami book because the instructions in Yoko had my eyes spinning. It took awhile, but I finally staggered to the finish.

First's muse was Ben 10 and he made an Omnitrix ornament and a Diamondhead ornament. He wanted to keep them both, but with some gentle suggestion decided to send off the Diamondhead to Lucia.

I've been thinking and visualizing various ornaments and ended up going very simple. I wanted to do wreath-shapes, to represent the cycle of life, and remembered I had some sheets of origami in traditional Japanese patterns. And voila.

Tomorrow, a trip to the post office.

(After we were finished, Kinder pulled me aside and stated that he will only decorate the tree with "beautiful" things. So he's not going to make any Ben 10 ornaments, but lots of cranes. Yummy enough to eat, these creatures...)

GI bug

First it was First. Remarkably, he slept for 3-4 hours yesterday afternoon and when we awoke he stated his stomach didn't hurt anymore and has basically been fine ever since.

Cap has been hit much harder. He was up all night losing it from both ends. He just canceled his class today, the last regular meeting of that class. He is sick.

First has been craving apple sauce. I just offered to make him some, but he says he likes the store bought better :-)

Kinder sleeps and sleeps this morning. Makes sense. It is grey and wet, again.

I guess I'm off to the store for some apple sauce.

A picture worth all the words

I wish I had one.

Karen, Brent and the kids came down for the weekend. Karen came to see Vinny with me on Friday, after a pot of tea at the wonderful fair trade tea salon. Kinder just blows me away in drumming class. We had cake and ice cream for Brent's birthday and reveled in the kids' peals of laughter during AFV. On Saturday, we all drove into town and Karen and Will went to see Alvin Ailey. Then we merged into the mass of humanity surrounding the tree in Rockefeller Center. We couldn't even bear getting close enough to watch the skaters. We perused the soon-to-be defunct original Kinokuniya store drawn in by the 1/2 price books. By the time we came out, the tree was differently luminous because dark had fallen. My mom treated us to Thai food from downstairs and it was yummy. This morning, an unexpectedly early departure as First is sick with a GI bug.

Went to a counselor this weekend and though the feeling of absolute...traction....had begun to subside beforehand, it was still quite helpful to dislodge some stuff. Relief and clarity feel good.

The sun is unbelievably low. I am much more aware of it this year. Last year there was excitement about being back in the northeast for the holidays which may have buoyed me.

This year there is a starkness to the red numbers that look back at me when I close my eyelids. I'd decided no holiday cards this year, but am feeling guilty about it now.

...

I'm here, but quiet, quiet, quiet.

The kids and I have had a couple of "screen-free" days here which have added depth to the slowing down and enjoying of our selves and togetherness more.

I've started a new knitting project. We played the Ben 10 board game last night.

Anna and Lukas came over yesterday and the four of them were like peas in a pod. Hide and seek, Playmobil, and trains followed by soccer and chive harvesting out back.

Dentist appts for First (with a new pediatric dentist) and Cap this morning.

First then came food shopping with me. Buying for co-op meal with some thoughts to Will and co. who will be with us this weekend, there were a lot of groceries. First got some learning in: how to navigate a big, heavy cart and how much food costs!

It's been very windy the last 24 hours. I love it. Some light flurries today.

Latkes and dead batteries

We woke up past 7:00 and had a quiet day. The kids helped me make latkes for lunch and then they each ate five! Lukas came over around 3:00 (Silke and Anna are off to a workshop this weekend) and then we discovered that the car wouldn't start when it was time for drumming class.

Danielle saved the day. We walked to her house, dropped First off to play and then I drove Lukas and Kinder to class. We picked up sushi and pizza and then dropped the car off and picked up First. It felt great to be out in the cold, fresh air in the dark.

There's something very Ezra Jack Keats in the way the kids' bodies move in and out of light and dark while they play and run outside at night. I'm into it.

I've decreed tomorrow a screen-free day. Kinder thinks he's going to be bored to death. It's been good to slow down this week, but I want to slow it down even more. With the screens on, we tend to spend chunks of time staring at a screen instead of doing things with each other.

Danielle will come by in the morn with her jumper cables and we'll see if we can get the car running.

All I want

Here.

He was 19 when they recorded this song?!

The sun in fall in new england

On our drive up to MA last weekend, I noticed something for the first time. During this time as Winter Solstice creeps upon us here in the norhteast, the sun arcs over us lower in the sky.

It was a true, "what the...?" moment. But, it explains something. Why wouldn't it make us feel "less alive", as Holly put it to me the other day, if the sun itself can't make it completely overhead?

Carolina Chocolate Drops

Hmm. Couldn't figure out how to post their video from YouTube even though I've done it before. Check it out here and let me know what you think. They're like a dab of yellow on a palette of grey. Thanks Brent!

She did good

Heather was eliminated from America's Next Top Model tonight. She has Asperger's Syndrome and was truly a delight to watch and root for the past few months.

World's fastest craft project

Anna and the kids sent Kinder a make-your-own-stuffed-animal kit for his birthday. It arrived today as the kids were finishing their sandwiches. They opened the package after lunch and wanted to get going right away.

And they did.

Rice and beans

My first goal for this winter: solidify into my repertoire an excellent version of rice and beans. If you have any tried and true recipes, please send them my way!

(My favorite rice and beans thus far are the Haitian dishes that Cap used to bring home from HAPHI parties when we lived in MA. Yum.)

Dr. Vinny

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I made our way to Vinny who squeezed us in fairly last minute.

Vinny is a chiropractor who practices traditional Chinese medicine. One of the things I like about him is that he is the antithesis of "new agey". He grew up locally and is very down-to-earth.

Something else I like about him is that he is very clear, compassionate and direct. He listens really well and therefore remembers.

And, he is able to accept our health insurance so visits to him cost no more than our co-pay.

When I go with the kids it's usually a bit hairy. The space is small and I feel badly that others may be bothered by the kids' noisy energy. The work I get done is superficial because I can't completely turn my head off when the kids are underfoot. But, I was desperate and I wanted the kids to get treated, too.

Neither child was able to completely relax into the treatment (First was able to more than Kinder, but stopped short at the "seeds") and during my treatment, both kids were up on the table with me at one point or another.

Kinder has been exploring his olfactory sense lately (to which I can completely relate being highly olfactory myself) and at one point he was lying on top of my lower half and stuck his nose right into my backside. That did little to disrupt my attempts at breathing with the work, to hook up to the proverbial IV of good stuff that flows within and without us, it was when he started talking about needing to wash his nose to get the stink off that I could not suppress my laughter.

Despite all this, when I swung myself off the table, First looked up at me and said, "you look different". I told him I felt happier and better and he said my face looked thinner.

As soon as I started walking I could feel that there was so much more stuff still hanging in and on me. I'm going back next week...alone :-)

What he said about children being most open when they are sleeping really struck me. I ended up going to bed late again last night. I remembered what Vinny said about practicing chigon in the room with them while they were in bed and so tried it. I was jazzed and wanted to calm myself down before getting under the covers with them.

I felt remarkably calm afterwards and can't recall the last time I got into bed and it felt so comfortable...my body felt almost weightless yet the act of getting horizontal felt great. I could really feel the contours of my pillow, the snuggliness of the flannel bedding, it was amazing.

And I thought I might fall right asleep and I didn't, but my pre-sleep reverie was pleasant and self-consciousness left me quickly.

Apron

I dusted off my Waldorf blogs bookmark and did some reading today. I read a piece by Donna Simmons, a Waldorf homeschooler guru of sorts, here, about using clothing as props to facilitate moving into and out of particular roles as a homeschooling parent.

Inspired, I plucked my beautiful apron from the pantry and put it on. My aunt Makiko (Momoko's mom) gave this to me a few years ago. I've kept it handy, but have never worn it.

I like this kind of mindfulness when I think of it :-p

* to get to the post, scroll down to Sept. 28 once you open the link

Smoothies

At Karen and Brent's this weekend Will made us smoothies. A process delectable in its love, promise and delivery.




It inspired some smoothie making of our own yesterday. Kinder went through three batches chasing the elusive je ne sais quois...mixed berry, straight strawberry, straight blueberry. In the end, it seemed it was the quantity of the rice milk which made all the difference.

Wind

Ever since I can remember, I've loved the way the wind feels and sounds. Blustery cliffside wind with the crash of ocean waves accompanying, the soft rustle of leaves backed by the creak of swaying trees, the whistling and whipping kind, all of it.

Here in our treehouse home, the wind wakes me up at night. I can, and do, sleep through lights being switched on, ever growing children tossing and turning about me, and people coming and going in the night. But, if the wind picks up outside during the night, consciousness rips right through dream state and my eyes open.

Last night I enjoyed a late night phone call to a friend out west. Then communed with the wind during the night. Then was awake for good around five. I'm going to do some chigon now. That will help.

The first day of the rest of the year

Cap was our stalwart driver as the kids and I rode home yesterday afternoon and night in various stages of repose. It was a trip with some traffic and many bathroom stops. Kinder had his first sack of BK french fries which made me cringe a bit.

Today, laundry, food shopping, reading Ironman Power Pack, a more rhythmic day of meals and screen time, unpacking, meeting the new dog upstairs, a two hour plus nap for Kinder who has needed the opportunity for some recuperative sleep, uploading the hundred plus pictures from the weekend into the computer, putting out all the recyclables, and this:



Lukas and Owen are over (Danielle has class tonight and her usual sitter called in sick), it'll be pizza and sushi momentarily.

Cap leaves for Sandy and Mike's tonight and then Austin tomorrow morning.

Leaves and trees

This I do love about where I live. These were all taken walking around the yard this afternoon.

Thanksgiving

Cap did his thing with our turkey, everyone contributed something to the table and it was a beautiful and delicious meal. The hits for me: my sister's turkey sausage stuffing with pecans and Momoko's spinach dip. But, really, everything was yummy.


Kinder and my mom (Baba to the kids) had a blast playing soccer. The ball and net were her birthday gifts to him. It was about 70 degrees out.


A Thanksgiving tradition is to take the family photo which my parents use for their holiday cards. First was all jazzed giving his grandfather bunny ears. Here he is completely subdued because I made him stop.


I cannot believe he is six. So wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time.

Pink hat

I have a terrible memory for some things. I used to have an excellent memory for birthdays and phone numbers, but having kids has weakened this secret talent of mine.

I have a hard time remembering what happened in movies I've seen, sometimes even forgetting that I've seen a movie at all.

I never remember who I did something with and have been caught in webs of embarrassment and surprise as I recount a story to a friend and they look at me quizzically before gently letting me know that they know, because they were there with me when it happened.

Something else I have a hard time remembering is who has given me which beautiful, meaningful, thoughtful gifts over the years. I love the books, cds, jewelry, and wonderful decorative and functional objects. But, I often forget who they are from.

I have this distinctive, wool, pink hat. I don't remember if someone gave it to me or if I bought it myself. But, I love it and have had it for well over 10 years. I've been wearing it a lot lately because it's perfect for short hair and for covering up bed head ("my hair had a party last night!" we say in our household a la Trout Fishing in America).

Monkey see, monkey do.

Portrait

First recently sketched me as I sat on the couch watching tv. (This was the day after my 3 hours of sleep post-DC and Kinder throwing up in the middle of the night. I very rarely watch tv during the day.)

Art, and certainly drawing, permeates our life. This first foray into portraiture was inspired, I think, by Lucia's Louvre sketches on Holly's blog. He and I haven't spoken about it, but I think her art made an impression on him.

Nisei WWII vets stamp

If you want to learn more about it and sign a petition, go here.

(Thanks to Cap and Ellen O. for the heads up.)

Kinder's 6th birthday party

Kinder drawing and coloring his birthday cd covers before the party started. First was his sous artist and was a big help.


First and his best friends playing "jankenpo" (Rock, Paper, Scissors) while eating a lunch of sushi and pizza.


Kinder can only take so much being amongst a crowd. Every now and again I would come across him and Lukas hanging out on or behind the big bed (the coat bed of my childhood when my parents would have big parties) playing by themselves.


Holly and Lucia are missed often by me as they spend six months in Paris. Here, during the alternative Hot Potato game, their spirits were with us. It was great to be able to spend some time outdoors and get some fresh air.


The Ben 10 cake, a Bette Hagman's feather light yellow cake with decadent white frosting from Living Without...kids (ever so vigilant and caring) asked First whether he was okay to be eating the cake and grown ups were surprised and delighted as they tucked into a GFCF cake that was just as good as "regular" cake.



Winding down with cousin, Auntie and Uncle, and my cousin, Momoko.


The birthday song.

Making breadsticks

A happy way to end the day. The kids love making these GF breadsticks from a bag (Chebe brand). We rarely get to knead dough so this is a treat.

I was in an inexplicable black mood for most of the day. Being a peripheral bakers' helper was therapeutic.

Tried to get a holiday photo...may have succeeded.

Can you guess whose hands are who's?

It's bullet time

• Kinder's birthday party was great. We had quite a crowd, but the energy was warm and happy and we had a good time. Pictures to come.

• First has become a boob man. Today he was singing a song of his own making about how much he loves boobs. He thinks they're funny, he's magnetically drawn to them. It's been embarrassing and poignant and a lesson in tolerance and patience.

• I canceled Austin. First has been expressing fear of separation and it just started feeling less and less worth it. Cap was amazing in his immediate and genuine support and understanding. So we'll work on a plan B to celebrate togetherness sans kids. The smile of relief on First's face when I told him this morning spoke a thousand words.

• Looking forward to a period of reflection and quiet as we head towards the solstice. The kids have been pretty media saturated (for us, which is still so much less than most, but still, a lot, for us...and there we have a circle) and I am longing for some rhythm.

• Within hours of Kinder's party ending I felt like I was back to myself. Suddenly I had space to think and time to relax. This continued into today. I watched Anna and Lukas for a few hours, the kids played and I picked up my knitting for the first time in weeks. I baked brownies for our neighbors to make up for the ruckus we created in the hallways and house yesterday with our nearly 40 guests. There were vegetables back in our meals. The kids and I read in bed for almost an hour tonight.

• Both kids had meltdowns today. Afterwards it was like that dry, clear, blue that comes after a summer storm blows away a stagnant humid front.

Drained but in a good way

Must. Go. To. Bed.

Mike D. is here for a visit which has been wonderful. Cap picked him up around 3:00 this morning (flight was delayed) and Mike surprised me, my bedhead and all, by waking around 8:00 (5:00 CA time).

He showered us with gifts and the kids set about building right away with their new construction sets. Me, I got a big blue box from Tiffany with a lovely yellow teapot and matching sugar bowl and cream pitcher. My bling itch was majorly satisfied :-)

We went out for breakfast at a local diner, with a stop to see Vinny for my traditional chinese herbs. By the time we got home it was time to get ready for our first family concert at our local performing arts center. The kids were none too happy about having to pause their building again.

The concert was a lot of fun, appropriately interactive, and our seats were great, first row of the first balcony. And it was cool to see Cass' brother, who is the concert master!

We got home and ate, Mike was craving pizza as most northeast expats do when they return to the home region and he and I indulged in a pepperoni and garlic pizza. Yum.

Cap and Mike then took off for coffee and dessert before heading back to the performing arts center for an evening classical concert that we had tix for (the first of a Saturday night subscription).

The kids watched an ep of AFV for movie night while I began prep for Kinder's party tomorrow (and talked to Wendy for the first time in ages). After their show was over, First really wanted to help me, as he has been doing more of lately.

He neatened up the couch draping the throw against the back of it and arranging the cushions just so. He cut the hemp laces for the necklace making area while I measured them out. He moved the little chairs and then sprayed and wiped down the little table which we arranged to create the face and hand painting area.

He has been changing again and seeming older. Kinder, too.

They went to bed around 9:00 and then I made the potato for the alternative hot potato game that we played at Lucia's party. It took way more paper than I had anticipated and took a really long time to make! Holly, I had no idea.... In this version of the game, when the music stops, whoever is holding the potato gets to unwrap a layer of it and receive the treat that appears. Then they leave the circle. The game continues until the last child has unwrapped their layer finding a treat.

I tried in vain to locate Kinder's birthday cd song list that we had compiled together yesterday, but I think it may have gotten accidentally recycled. Unfortunately, this means that Cap will not be able to burn the cds and printout the covers tonight. C'est la vie.

The eggs are boiled and in the fridge (for deviled eggs), the brown rice is cooked and warm in the rice cooker (for Sri Wasano's Infamous Rice Salad from the original Moosewood cookbook), the bathroom all sparkly, the living room set up with the activity areas (a third activity will be drawing and coloring your own puzzle), and I am headed to bed.

I will awake at 6:00 and bake the cake, make the rice salad so it can marinate and chill for a few hours and make the deviled eggs and frosting, too.

I need the early start because Cap will be out tomorrow morning driving Mike to the airport (he'll be flying to Beantown to see his sister) and gone for at least two hours.

I'd like to have some time in the morning to straighten out the kids' room, too.

No pictures of Mike and the kids, the camera batteries needed to be recharged...

Bling

I'll admit it. I have always wanted a diamond ring. Not an engagement ring, but a ring of my choosing, some fine bling.

But, I/we have never had the money for that kind of thing and I know enough about the diamond trade to know that I would have some mixed feelings about owning a diamond.

During my travels today, I came across a diamond ring I could have. It cost $6 and is stretchy and comfortable. It made my girly self happy :-)


(Click on the photo for a closer look!)

A glimpse in

I am cleaning up my desk area today. It's a good day for it. It's a typical first day of period laying in kind of day. It's a grey day outside, but the light is hitting the yellow leaves just right and it feels cheery.

Kinder is fever-free this morning and clearly feeling much better. He's been doing a lot of hiding from First and jumping out to say "boo!"

I awoke around 5:00 am practically panting from a nightmare, but it is a fast receded memory.

As I was going through the piles on my desk, I came across this packet of place mats (called "luncheon mats" in Japan). An aunt gave them to me/us back when we lived in Cambridge...this would be a minimum of six years and three moves ago.

I love them. They are made of washi, a type of traditional Japanese craft paper. Place mats made of paper. Only in Japan? Maybe not, but a dilemma they have posed for me, nonetheless.

There's the Yankee spirit in me that feels like it would be a waste to use them, for they can only be used once.

There's the romantic in me that just knows there will be the perfect moment to unveil them, to the crows of delight of the just right set of guests.

There's the pack rat in me that has packed and unpacked them, still in their plastic, still with their weathered 400 yen price tag, three different times, and has been completely okay with that.

Then there's the me that stood holding the packet for a minute or two, trying to decide whether to just chuck them or not. Part of me longs to just chuck a lot of stuff as I try to simplify and organize my space and things.

I wonder what else I will find as I go back in there...

F**k!!!

There's a big lesson here and I've learned it...but it feels like something always comes out to bite me when it comes to handling our finances. And it freaking hurts.

Cap and I had our once every six months or so difficult money conversations this morning. It was long, but worth it, for me. He lost out on some work time, so it was doubly hard for him.

Afterwards, I took a fresh look at our numbers in order to formulate a workable budget, something we have never been able to stick to successfully over our decade-plus together.

My shocking discovery. Spoiler alert: Turns out I am a big, f**king idiot.

I've been feeling like I have been spending less money since moving to NJ. But, working without a budget, I could never be certain.

I started charting our bills. I did this for nearly a year, but realized after six months or so that this wasn't doing much...not giving me any new information. The initial satisfaction of creating a form and typing numbers into it regularly, soon faded away.

Our credit card bill kept going up incrementally, but slowly enough that I was never alarmed enough to pay closer attention.

What I realized today after spending some time with the conundrum that is our financial life, was that for over a year now, I have not been sending money to the credit card for all the little, budgeted charges that I was making, mostly online.

Or, for the bigger, reimbursed charges for Cap's professional spending.

I was paying our paper bills, including partial payments on the credit card bills (which started getting closer and closer to the minimum payment which I also did notice, but did not pay closer attention to), but simply forgot to pay the credit card company for specific charges (ie. things that I would normally use the debit card for, but because it was an online transaction or a bigger ticket item for which we could earn more significant points, I used the credit card) as they occurred.

(Also, we carried some hefty debt coming into this, especially from the move itself)

It seems such an obvious thing NOT to do, but there it is.

In the now over a year that we've lived here, I have yet to fully go through all my paperwork AND create a workable and habitual system of book keeping/desk work.

Life happens, especially (adjusting to) homeschooling two kids and living somewhere new, and now I'm paying a high price for continually, and unconsciously, putting this work on the back burner.

Ugh...

Back from our trip

A rare family photo taken at the FDR Memorial in Washington DC. We spent time there with Marc and his wife and baby daughter. (Marc is a friend from my teen years and has the distinction of having been my boyfriend from ninth grade to spring break of our senior year of college.)

It was a beautiful autumn day after a mostly cloudy and rainy weekend. Our trip was fun and it will take me awhile to organize the many photos we took.

We saw Ellen, Jen and their kids, went to the National Zoo and the Air and Space museum, and took looks at the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials, Washington monument, Vietnam and Korean War memorials (on Veteran's Day alongside throngs of vets), the White House, and the Capitol building. We strolled along the reflecting pool and mall, as well.

Cap's workshop went well at the conference he attended, our hotel room had a great view, and we had meals at two restaurants with GF menus: the Austin Grill in Alexandria (where Cap remembered we had eaten once a long time ago) and Legal Seafoods in Arlington. We also had a couple of meals at Whole Foods in VA and MD. Their presence, seemingly everywhere, a comfort, but also an indication that we weren't very much off the beaten path.

We returned late Sunday night and Kinder woke at 2:00 am throwing up in the family bed. I was a zombie yesterday after 3 hours of sleep, today I'm pretty sleepy, too.

My seven year old dragon

First was born in the year of the dragon. I remember Dr. Li chuckling, I detected ruefulness, saying that my baby dragon (still in utero) would be getting into some battles with my mother, who is also a dragon.

What he didn't mention was that I would be butting heads with him, too.

Me, the horse. But, I am a special horse, a fiery one, born in a year/cycle that parents of maidens of yore would lie about in order to improve their daughters' chances for marriage. For, who would want to marry a girl who was a fire horse?

I know it's normal for clashes and conflicts to arise when raising a child with love and passion. But, it kind of sucks, too, when it is all so new and unfamiliar. I need to buck up. I mean, he's only seven.

I'm in the lucky space!

...this is what Kinder crowed to his brother as he dove into the crook of my armpit as we settled in for the night. The lucky space.

On a day like today when, by the end of it, I was wondering if it is ever possible to go a whole day without any unpleasantness on our parts, but especially mine. No complaining, no whining, no butting heads over the slightest (and truly unimportant) details, no abrupt answers to seemingly dysfunctional questions...

Even on a day like today, I am the lucky space.

Instant cure. Immediate balm. How lucky am I?

Wall of hats

Last night, as our co-op dinner guests were departing (after a mellow, lovely, time change winter-is-coming feeling meal of turkey chili, corn bread, salad and peanut butter cookies), we could not locate Anna's hat.

All of us were used to this sort of thing and we murmured reassurances to each other that it would crop up somewhere, sometime.

This morning, the boys noticed both Anna and Lukas' hats hung up on our wall of hats. The children apparently took it upon themselves to place their hats where hats should clearly go.

(The wall of hats is by the door we used to use to come in and out of the apartment and so was out of our visual field as we said our good-byes...)

Drumming at home

Kinder set up a drum kit and was drumming away while I prepared tonight's common meal in the kitchen. I came out and he explained how he figured out that the drum sounded different when it was propped so that it wasn't sitting flat on the floor.

I want my kids to be who they are, but have to admit that I've always loved drumming and am thrilled that he does, too. First has been practicing, as well, and checks in with his brother to make sure he's keeping up in his own progress.

Ellen's book

So cool, my friend Ellen has a new book out. I remember the days when writing a paper was pure, absolute, unadulterated torture. Way to go sweetie!

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Bonds-Genealogies-Feminist-Philosophy/dp/0195314751/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-6387017-4855960?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1194447519&sr=8-2

That's the long web address...I can't figure out how to make it a link that you can just click on....

It's called Family Bonds and can be checked out at Amazon.

For fans of Ellen, feminist philosophy and Foucault :-)

Latkes

...they're not just for Chanukah around here.

Once the autumn air starts to feel crisp, we start making and eating latkes in our household. My love of latkes began with Chanukah celebrations, most notably Diane's, back when we lived in Cambridge and she in Somerville.

We do love our potatoes, and so it seemed natural to introduce latkes into our home cooking repertoire. First loves latke sandwiches (a latke in between two slices of bread with mayo :-) for breakfast the morning after we have them for dinner...anyone who's ever lived with me knows where he gets that kind of stomach/appetite from.

I began making latkes in autumn/winter with vigor while we lived in Sacramento. With our move back east and the acquisition of cast iron pans, making them has become an even more easy and fruitful endeavor.

Tonight, First volunteered to assist and he worked on learning the ways of the vegetable peeler. He didn't make it to the grater because the onion fumes were getting to his eyes. He returned for the mixing of the grated potatoes and onion, GF all purpose flour, salt, eggs and potato starch.

This fall, I am trying hand grating and am surprised at what a difference it makes. The latkes have been, in my opinion, superior. Tonight, I grated the taters right into a colander. The potato starch I got from the bottom of the puddle of potato water was fantastic. Plentiful and much more solid than I've ever seen.

The kids and I tucked into the warm and crispy-round-the-edges latkes and ate a pretty silent dinner (too busy eating to talk :-) First was the last to finish and I ran to grab my camera to document at least the final luscious bite, but, alas, I was too late and this is the shot I got (he'd look happier except he's got terrible head cold symptoms---hence the pile of tissues!)...

Catchin' up

It's been a busy week...funny, it feels like much longer has passed.

I've been eating a lot of prosciutto lately. I used to like it, now I love it. It's something I would sometimes treat myself to by getting a sandwich somewhere, but these days, I've been buying it at the big Whole Foods, the yummy domestic kind, ten to twelve slices at a time.

I've been hating my hair/haircut. The whole point was to have it be less fuss, and now I'm having to mess with hair paste and a blow dryer...

We have to get the air conditioners out of the windows! All of a sudden it's colder and the apartment feels downright drafty.

We visited Anna and the kids this weekend which was a lot of fun. We leave for Virginia/DC in a few days. I'm looking forward to this trip. It's our family vacation for the year though Cap will spend about half of his time participating in a conference.

Halloween was a lot of fun. I crammed to finish the costumes and it turned out to be a magical night of trick-or-treating.

Here are some random visuals, odds and ends.



The cover and some sample pages from First's comic book featuring Write Man.


Kinder enjoying some tunes on Cap's iPod.


First wrapped this gift for Tobias and Elsa, a book he chose personally. It looked so pretty I had to snap a pic.

I was going to post two videos, but...I think because the computer I'm on has an older operating system, the one step video posting option I used when posting from Cap's laptop does not appear available.